Last night I was very busy getting old, so missed watching Chelsea tumble out of the Champions League. This is, in fact, considerably funnier than it might appear at first glance.
Getting old is very sobering, and one side effect can be looking back over one’s life. Never have been a prolific reader, so no surprise I didn’t finish my first book until I was about twelve. The Kon Tiki Expedition. Second book, Muhammad Ali: My Own Story, in which he talks about style. Style in whatever you do, and how, had he not been a boxer but rather a garbage man, he would have collected more than anyone else, and faster, and with more style.
There is a cost to your actions.
Another piece of advice in my youth came from a friend of my father’s at about the same time: “no matter what you do in life remember this. In ten or twenty years you will find yourself meeting up with old chums, and you CANNOT tell them you make handbags”. No idea why he chose handbags, but perhaps for the very reason that I never forgot the advice.
This brings me nicely on to Chelsea and that loathsome reptile Jose Mourinho.
As usual this morning, I got up, made coffee, and while I checked through emails, I caught up on late comments from this site. Last night was dominated by talk of the appalling tactics deployed by a “win at any cost” Chelsea.
When it comes to my football, I am a romantic and a fantasist. Somewhere deep within there is a realist who understands that The Arsenal need things like defenders, but I don’t like it, and yes, 2-3-5 remains my preferred line up.
Here’s the thing though. I know people who avoid certain summer as well as winter holiday resorts simply to avoid the Chelsea style of wealthy thugs. I know people who have given up memberships of what were once exclusive London nightclubs to avoid the thugs in the blacked out Range Rovers with their “security”. I even know a lifelong Chelsea supporter who chucked in his season ticket and now goes to watch Brentford.
When I was a young school boy, a teacher told me cheating was only “cheating yourself”. Not really, I thought, I just got an A in Chemistry.
With hindsight, was the teacher right? Well, one moral must be, if you are going to cheat, then for God’s sake win. Doing it and losing is nothing short of hysterically funny for your critics.
Written by MickyDidIt89
Posted by peachesgÖÖner 
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For us, the Champions League is just like life, one big f*ucking disapointment
With Wengers early teams, we had the players, but somehow we were shit. Bit like dreams as a kid. Becoming a millionaire, shagging everything in sight, and finding out your the illegitimate son of Frank Mclintock
But no. Those Bergkamp/Adams/Viera sides flopped. More a case of bailiffs, not been able to find your appendage, and discovering your old man is Paul Daniels.
Yet, in 2006 we reached the final with arguablyy one of Arsene’s weakest sides. We hardly let in a goal and all this whilst playing Senderos at the back?. Its akin to being in your twenties and finding out that whilst chasing a bus your actually the fastest man that ever lived. A year later your doing a Puma commercial chasing the 102 down Bounds Green high road.
Tragicaly we lost the final. We were robbed. I will always insist that the wanker dived to get poor Jens sent off.
In the last few years we’ve had the hardest draws, Barca and Munich for f*uks sake? Deep down we all knew we had it. Reminds me of when I mouthed off for a year what I would do to the ex in the divorce court, whilst all the time secretly planning what colour I wanted the bedroom painted back at my mum and dad’s house.
And now Monaco at home? No disrespect, but their small time. That big Jessie they have as Regent, Prince Albert or something? I know more about him than there bloody team, and that’s only because I once heard a rumour he sent Julian Clary some tight trousers.
And what is Berbatov doing playing for them? He looked like rigor mortis set in years ago, probably to many “interesting” conversations with Glen Hoddle, yet he’s still playing?
We seem cursed in this bloody champions league. Liverpool, Utd, and worse of all, Chelsea have all won it by fluke. Yet we are more tormented than an uninvited bachelor living next door to a swingers club
Yet, we live in hope. Second leg to come and there is always next year
We have to win it soon, its driving me mad. If not, don’t be surprised to hear in the news about… man holds swinger club members hostage. Tells police his demands include all members have sex with him, though admits he’s confused, And would like large pepperoni pizza with ham topping-has special offer voucher
written by Terry Mancini’s Hair Transplant