Campbell: Our Ugly Duckling to beat the Swans?

October 31, 2015

Swansea have a nasty habit of picking up points against our Mighty Gunners –  it is over two years since we beat them. Given the midweek difficulties it would be good to do so this afternoon.

Let’s start with our right wing. To Campbell or not to Campbell? Of course he must play. A prophetic comment written last week  on AA was from a chap wishing to see more of Joel, perhaps he put a bok on Theo and The Ox, if you did – can you please do the same for Harry Kane, Aguero and Diego Costa? 🙏

On a side issue – have you noticed that Mr Campbell has not been blessed with good looks? Poor fellow – the fairies gave him a good hit with the Ugly Stick. The man reminds me of Lon Chaney without the hunchback. Can our Ugly Duckling turn over The Swans? (OK, I admit this is a pathetic attempt to create an HC Anderson based headline!)

The alternative would be to push Bellerin in midfield and play Debuchy at RB, which is not so stupid; those shitehawks down the Seven Sisters Rd did that with Monkeyboy Bale and earned €100m out of it!

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The rest of the team picks itself apart from at CB where Mr Wenger has to decide whether to play BFG twice in a week or rely upon Paul Easter. Either works for me.

Looking forward to seeing Flapianski. I always felt so sorry for him after his debacle in the CL; a decent keeper whose confidence was shattered by a couple of stupid mistakes. The decision to sell him was good for both clubs and it is great that he has the possibility to screw up this afternoon. A long distance shot from Santi sending the ball squirming under the Pole’s body to laugh it’s way into the Swans net would be good.

Swansea are in a poor run of form with just one win in 6 but any team with Ayew, Gomis, Shelvey plus Montero can score goals and Williams at CB is an inspirational leader (and a man who should have been at AFC).  Shelvey is interesting; at LFC I thought the man was a comedian but now he has matured (?) he can be influential. He will enjoy playing against a team which doesn’t kick two colours out of the opposition.

Gary Monk has continued the work of Rodgers and Laudrup developing a fluent possession game building slowly through midfield and then relying upon the pace of Ayew and Montero.

If we are to win we will need another soild performance from Giroud. Swansea’s CB are quality but no better than Everton’s and against the Scousers OG had his best game for some time. A repeat today is vital.

We are in the midst of an exhausting and difficult run of games yet remain joint ToTL. This afternoon should be an interesting battle between two teams committed to entertaining football. Given the quality of our lads and the scintillating form of Sanchez, Cazorla and Ozil we should return to London with at least a point but who knows – Swansea have the Indian sign over us at the moment.

Time to change that…..

COYRRG

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Arsenal’s dastardly conspiracy ……….Bobby Pires impersonates Mesut Ozil

October 30, 2015

Fact is, I’m almost too angry to pen this, and my limited vocab. prevents me from being able to adequately describe my rage. So I’ll simply cc you in on a little note I felt obliged to scribble.

Dear Arsenal Marketing and Merchandising’

Didit here. Customer. I hope you are all well, and that you have been busy, although from where I’m sitting, it’s F**KING IMPOSSIBLE TO DETECT HOW THAT CAN BE THE CASE.

Thing is, a couple of weeks ago I decided to buy a birthday present for someone. Someone was a fan of football, and a German someone. Simple, I’ll visit the Arsenal online store and buy him a beautifully crafted Mesut Ozil figurine.  Let’s face it, I knew you’d stock a Mesut, rather than just three injury prone crocks. Obviously, I mean basic business practice. Also, I thought to myself, no Chinese slave camp worth its salt is going to make just three injury prone crocks when the big pennies lie with our international superstars.

WRONG. Jack, Mikel and The Ox. That’s it!!! I mean seriously, ARE YOU ‘UCKING KIDDING ME ARSENAL MARKETING AND MERCHANDISING?!?!?!?

UP YOURS. Off to Amazon I went, leaving a stream of fury in my wake, and yip, there was the little fellow at the first click. Basket. Check Out. Job done.

soccerstarz-arsenal-mesut-ozil-home-kit-2015-version-figures-400x400-imaefq3fcgdfmnhz

Or so I thought. THREE ‘ weeks later`. Then I opened the little package. DO YOU THINK I WAS BORN YESTERDAY? THAT’S NOT MESUT, THAT’S BOBBY PIRES. Loved the bloke, but not Mesut is he? What’s with the hair? Where are the eyes? Those black studs in the ears? NOTHING. ITS NOT MESUT IS IT, ADMIT IT. What’s with the Alice band!!! Mesut manned up and dropped the Continental look years ago. B**TARDS.

Sure you can buy an Arsene in zipper coat with a wobbling head for a very reasonable £12 exc. p&p, whereas little Mikel, Jack and Ox come in at bargain basement level £4 exc. p&p, but where are the superstars. Mesut, Alexis and, errr… oh yes, that’s it, we’ve only got two and you pathetic lot can’t be arsed to stock either you complete cretins. I mean, WHAT’S THE ******* POINT IN YOU?

Look, two thirds of your shops are filled with clothes. Fine. You’ve subbed that bit out to Puma. That leaves you with one corner to flog mugs and shit. Here’s an idea, taking a lot of money is a very good idea, and in fact, the only point in employing you in the first place.

I seriously hope the club are not paying you bunch of cretins a Living Wage,  because you’re going to have to shift a s*it load of little Mikels every week to keep the lot of you steaming turds in tight clothes.

OH, hang on, maybe I’m being unfair and you have been clever. Yes, that’s your plan, lure them in with the cheap Mikels, then extract thousands for the high end stuff.

YEAH RIGHT. Watches. We all know how much utter knobbuckets like to flaunt their wealth with hideous wrist furniture. Well here’s a clue. You do three watches. Pounds sterling in ascending order 40, 2350 and 4250. Guess which one has sold out PEABRAINS? No wrong, it’s the expensive one. See, people don’t want your cheap crap.

You’ve never worked in the real world have you? You know, had to earn a living. What did you study at College? PE? Prats.

Don’t reply. Not listening.

Didit.


Dastardly Arsenal conspiracy ……. Bobby Pires impersonates Mesut Ozil

October 30, 2015

Fact is, I’m almost too angry to pen this, and my limited vocab. prevents me from being able to adequately describe my rage. So I’ll simply cc you in on a little note I felt obliged to scribble.

Dear Arsenal Marketing and Merchandising’

Didit here. Customer. I hope you are all well, and that you have been busy, although from where I’m sitting, it’s F**KING IMPOSSIBLE TO DETECT HOW THAT CAN BE THE CASE.

Thing is, a couple of weeks ago I decided to buy a birthday present for someone. Someone was a fan of football, and a German someone. Simple, I’ll visit the Arsenal online store and buy him a beautifully crafted Mesut Ozil figurine.  Let’s face it, I knew you’d stock a Mesut, rather than just three injury prone crocks. Obviously, I mean basic business practice. Also, I thought to myself, no Chinese slave camp worth its salt is going to make just three injury prone crocks when the big pennies lie with our international superstars.

WRONG. Jack, Mikel and The Ox. That’s it!!! I mean seriously, ARE YOU ‘UCKING KIDDING ME ARSENAL MARKETING AND MERCHANDISING?!?!?!?

UP YOURS. Off to Amazon I went, leaving a stream of fury in my wake, and yip, there was the little fellow at the first click. Basket. Check Out. Job done.

soccerstarz-arsenal-mesut-ozil-home-kit-2015-version-figures-400x400-imaefq3fcgdfmnhz

Or so I thought. THREE ‘ weeks later`. Then I opened the little package. DO YOU THINK I WAS BORN YESTERDAY? THAT’S NOT MESUT, THAT’S BOBBY PIRES. Loved the bloke, but not Mesut is he? What’s with the hair? Where are the eyes? Those black studs in the ears? NOTHING. ITS NOT MESUT IS IT, ADMIT IT. What’s with the Alice band!!! Mesut manned up and dropped the Continental look years ago. B**TARDS.

Sure you can buy an Arsene in zipper coat with a wobbling head for a very reasonable £12 exc. p&p, whereas little Mikel, Jack and Ox come in at bargain basement level £4 exc. p&p, but where are the superstars. Mesut, Alexis and, errr… oh yes, that’s it, we’ve only got two and you pathetic lot can’t be arsed to stock either you complete cretins. I mean, WHAT’S THE ******* POINT IN YOU?

Look, two thirds of your shops are filled with clothes. Fine. You’ve subbed that bit out to Puma. That leaves you with one corner to flog mugs and shit. Here’s an idea, taking a lot of money is a very good idea, and in fact, the only point in employing you in the first place.

I seriously hope the club are not paying you bunch of cretins a Living Wage,  because you’re going to have to shift a s*it load of little Mikels every week to keep the lot of you steaming turds in tight clothes.

OH, hang on, maybe I’m being unfair and you have been clever. Yes, that’s your plan, lure them in with the cheap Mikels, then extract thousands for the high end stuff.

YEAH RIGHT. Watches. We all know how much utter knobbuckets like to flaunt their wealth with hideous wrist furniture. Well here’s a clue. You do three watches. Pounds sterling in ascending order 40, 2350 and 4250. Guess which one has sold out PEABRAINS? No wrong, it’s the expensive one. See, people don’t want your cheap crap.

You’ve never worked in the real world have you? You know, had to earn a living. What did you study at College? PE? Prats.

Don’t reply. Not listening.

Didit.


Arsenal deserve to be punished

October 29, 2015

Morning all

Our devastating defeat at the hands of Championship side Sheffield Wednesday has made many Arsenal supporters shrug their shoulders saying that we have bigger fish to fry. After  a walkover for Wednesday at Hillsborough, I had to to ask myself are Arsenal that good, that they can dismiss any competition that they feel is beneath them? The Capital One Cup is scorned at by most top Premier sides and Arsenal have for years used young inexperienced  players. Players that cannot get on the pitch for any of the 38 Premier games. Are they used in Champions league certainly not, why because the Champions league pays out big Bucks thats why.

Every time we play these kinds of games many ask who our next opponents are as there’s a feeling that we should we save players for more important games.

We lost at Hillsborough 3-0 without one shot from our side, our attacks were non existent, our team was more thrown together than pieced together. Here were young players that many ardent Arsenal supporters had never heard of, now in the Arsenal shirt playing a cup game.

Sheffield Wednesday is one of the clubs that is possibly older than Arsenal, they have been round a long long time. Sheffield of course were well known for their steel plants. In the past Sheffield was a thriving community but over the years it has had its problems. Steel is now imported and  that has had a detrimental effect on the population and the football club. As a boy I can remember Wednesday in the top league, the old Division One, they have history with us over the years in big games where the sides were evenly matched. Tuesdays game was a cop out. We disrespected Wednesday in the way our team were picked. We showed that the competition was below us and Arsène himself said that he didn’t want any of our first team travelling but he didn’t have a choice.

Arsenal football club had no intention of battling for the next stage and for me that is wrong. I very rarely speak against Arsène and Arsenal, but on this issue I do. Hillsborough saw 35 thousand fans turn up, the most they have had this season, why, because The Arsenal were in town. Tickets were sought after and I believe it was a sell out. Wednesday Supporters were well aware that Arsenal are currently sharing the same points as league leaders Manchester City. Many Wednesday supporters would have watched Arsenal last week against Bayern Munich, beating possibly the best side in the world. They saw Arsenal battle tooth and nail to win that game 2-0 and many would have made certain of their ticket for this round of the Capital One Cup.

Wednesday’s supporters probably felt they had very little chance of seeing Mesut Ozil, Alexis Sanchez or Santi Cazorla but the Arsenal team coming to Hillsborough would have been draw enough. On the night all they got to see was a depleted Arsenal team devoid of talent and no super stars. I would have felt cheated, they probably did as well until their first goal went in, then the next and then the nail in the coffin, the third. Arsenal with a side in their minds of super stars, turn up and see a team of nobodies.

I feel its time for the FA to step in and sort these fixtures out. A team of the likes of Arsenal, one of the top ten richest sides in the world, field a side of nobodies and make the competition a non event. Arsenal should be punished for supporters shelling out to be entertained  and do not get what they are paying for.

Many will say that Arsenal’s season has currently got more going on than their counter parts, but that is no excuse. Arsenal’s squad is made up of top Premier league players, more than enough to field  a competitive side and they should be made to field it. Many will say that the season is too long and there are too many games, but that is the way it is. After all, we have ten games gone in the league, we have a 25 player squad and we have had two international breaks so tiredness is not an excuse, in fact what Arsenal have done is to bring the game into disrepute. They have disrespected the competition and its competitors and should face punishment. The supporters should be given their money back and Arsenal should be fined heavily.

Personally I was embarrassed, upset and disgusted at how my football club had acted. I feel that if the FA take no action at all then the competition should be taken off the agenda. Many of you will not agree but when a football club act this way punishment must be given.

Steve Palmer

 


Wednesday Left Us with Tuesday Blues

October 28, 2015

The game was like a smack in the kisser with one of tricky Micky’s wet babbling fish.

From the height of the Premier League to the nadir of being out-played, out muscled and consigned to the trash can of the CoC by a supposedly ‘inferior’ but totally deserving Sheffield Wednesday.

The injury to Oxo, within 4 minutes of the start of the game, was an oddity as those sharp-eyed sleuths among you would have seen him on the centre line doing acrobatic calisthenics just before kick off, which indicated he was feeling something, dirty devil or he was trying to pose like a pixillated flamingo. [no, not pixels – drunken] 🙂

As for the other injury, I heard it said that Theo was surprised and aggrieved when having stripped off his track suit, and walked to the Arsenal end to pose, he was ordered by Wenger to get on immediately and replace Oxo, without a warm up – hence the careless injury.

So what came next could not have been a surprise — the perfect storm was gathering on the horizon, or put more succinctly a cock-up of significance was brewing.

Instead of sailing majestically through to the quarter finals the good ship Arsenal was out on its ear, like a dude being invited to clear off by the club doorman for unsuccessfully groping the big blond.

Our away fans were having none of this and gave the team tremendous backing support with their rendition of ‘Good Old Arsenal’ but the players were cocking a deaf ‘un, it seems.

There is no way of glossing over the performance – we were dreadful. Unable to create a single decent passing movement until late in the game when young Bielik gave a display promising much for the future, but sadly our ‘experienced’ players were playing as if they could not be assed, and the youngsters of 17 years of age were — well too young, and fell prey to a problem the first team often find – they were just physically brushed off the ball by the older, grizzled, bigger players of Wednesday, who went through their whole repertoire of diving, clogging and being — well I guess you would have to call it ‘professional’.

There is no need to pick at the scabs of the wounds we suffered both physically and mentally following one of the worst games I have seen for a while.

This has done nothing to help team morale as we come to yet another important sequence of games, and the feel good factor of the last couple of weeks might well blow up in our faces with Swansea, Bayern and the Spurs following in quick succession.

The finger pointing is pointless in a Post, frankly, but I am sure you all have your views and opinions – so let’s hear them. 😀

Written by Red Arse (RA)


Kevin or Joel Campbell?

October 27, 2015

I remember seeing us play Sheffield Wednesday way back in the Days of Yore – so long ago that Arsenal fielded 10 English players!! The only Johnny Foreigner was the great Anders Limpar. We won 7-1 with goals from the Swede, Kevin Campbell, Wrightie, Smudger and The Merse.

That day I was out on the left side of the North bank, near the West stand, uncovered with yards of space around us. Standing up. Yes, we took our lives into our own hands and stood. The attendance that day was a mere 26k. Could we ever see our attendances drop to that level again?

Of course none of that has any relevance to today, except it would be great if another Campbell scored tonight.

Just a thought …. how brilliantly would Ian Wright fit into our current first 11?

So who gets a run this evening? Cech has to start as Ospina is unfit, Chambers, plus a few other fellows.

Perhaps like this:

Cech

Debuchy    BFG    Chambers     Gibbs

Flamini    Ox    Bielik

Iwobi    Walcott  Campbell

Front line is unbalanced as is the midfield and in this team it would require the Ox to take a more influential midfield role than he has played so far. The bench can be filled with first 11 players.

Why not Ozil etc? Because we should prioritise the PL. Injuries have started to hit deep in midfield, a couple more and we will be banjaxed, so why risk it? 

I guess we will know from the starting line-up how much Mr Wenger wants to win this game and how much he is making the C1C his priority. It is a cup he has yet to win.

SW beat Newcastle in the last round so are clearly no mugs.

It is many years since we played SW in the Cups and I have just remembered the games at Wembley when we played SW three times to win the Cup double. I went to all three and evidence of how dull they were is that I can only remember the Morrow/TA incident! I am hoping for more entertainment tonight.

A week ago we beat the world’s best team, tonight we play lesser opposition. AW talked of the “perfect week”, why not make it a “perfect fortnight”?

COYRRG


Explained …. why Arsenal are seldom lucky, but often unlucky

October 26, 2015

There has been an ongoing debate on this site over the role ‘luck’ plays in the outcome of Arsenal’s games.

I seem to be a lone voice as I refuse to accept the ‘luck explanation’ when things don’t go our way. Luck is not a mathematical term it is a human superstition, an emotional response we use to explain an event that didn’t go the expected way – or more accurately the way we would have liked it to go.

The basic mathematics cannot be ignored. The larger the test sample the more accurate the result – hence the oft repeated statement that over 38 games everything evens out and the best team wins the Premier League. This is tantamount to saying that luck has nothing to do with it.

If we lose we often comfort ourselves by saying we were ‘unlucky’ because of the choice of referee, or several of our shots have hit the post, or the opposition striker’s shot took a deflection to beat the keeper as happened against Everton etc etc. If we win it is because we play superb football. Well I subscribe to the latter theory but do not accept the former.

I use the word luck as we all do – as a colloquialism. Watching your team play football is an emotional rollercoaster and we all say and do things in the heat of the moment that perhaps we may not really believe in hindsight.

Mathematicians will calculate random variation and can define probability. These are proven formulae that have nothing to do with luck. Since luck as a definition has no mathematical basis it has to be discounted when analysing outcomes. The club does not employ a ‘luck coach’, instead we spend millions investing in analytical technology that will give us the information that will maximise performance. We don’t send the players onto the pitch with a lucky rabbit’s foot down their shorts (not so lucky for the rabbit!) we send them out with a tracker that records their every movement.

What the management and the players have to do is to prepare and deliver in matches in such a way that the random element we like to call luck is less likely to affect the outcome. Often this will come down to ‘fine margins’ as chas has observed – and that is where the art of winning lies (if winning is all you desire) It is in setting the team up in a way that means that the fine margins will go your way more often than not. That involves everything from selecting the players and the manager, training, coaching and match preparation, to the performance on the day.

I think it is pretty obvious that playing fabulous football ranks right up there with ‘just winning’ in Arsene’s priorities, and I applaud him for that.

Even so, Arsene Wenger’s win record is the best in Arsenal’s history (I’m sure GN5 can produce statistics to prove this) – is he a lucky manager or a very good manager? The answer is obvious, I don’t need to trot out the Arnold Palmer quote to reinforce the point.

So by all means let’s all believe in luck when it helps us deal with things we don’t want to accept, but let’s not fool ourselves, luck has nothing to do with it.

Rasp