The Champions League. An Alternative Viewpoint

  1. To be honest, I’m over Wednesday’s result.

    For us, the Champions League is just like life, one big f*ucking disapointment

    With Wengers early teams, we had the players, but somehow we were shit. Bit like dreams as a kid. Becoming a millionaire, shagging everything in sight, and finding out your the illegitimate son of Frank Mclintock

    But no. Those Bergkamp/Adams/Viera sides flopped. More a case of bailiffs, not been able to find your appendage, and discovering your old man is Paul Daniels.

    Yet, in 2006 we reached the final with arguablyy one of Arsene’s weakest sides. We hardly let in a goal and all this whilst playing Senderos at the back?. Its akin to being in your twenties and finding out that whilst chasing a bus your actually the fastest man that ever lived. A year later your doing a Puma commercial chasing the 102 down Bounds Green high road.

    Tragicaly we lost the final. We were robbed. I will always insist that the wanker dived to get poor Jens sent off.

    In the last few years we’ve had the hardest draws, Barca and Munich for f*uks sake? Deep down we all knew we had it. Reminds me of when I mouthed off for a year what I would do to the ex in the divorce court, whilst all the time secretly planning what colour I wanted the bedroom painted back at my mum and dad’s house.

    And now Monaco at home? No disrespect, but their small time. That big Jessie they have as Regent, Prince Albert or something? I know more about him than there bloody team, and that’s only because I once heard a rumour he sent Julian Clary some tight trousers.

    And what is Berbatov doing playing for them? He looked like rigor mortis set in years ago, probably to many “interesting” conversations with Glen Hoddle, yet he’s still playing?

    We seem cursed in this bloody champions league. Liverpool, Utd, and worse of all, Chelsea have all won it by fluke. Yet we are more tormented than an uninvited bachelor living next door to a swingers club

    Yet, we live in hope. Second leg to come and there is always next year

    We have to win it soon, its driving me mad. If not, don’t be surprised to hear in the news about… man holds swinger club members hostage. Tells police his demands include all members have sex with him, though admits he’s confused, And would like large pepperoni pizza with ham topping-has special offer voucher

    written by Terry Mancini’s Hair Transplant

116 Responses to The Champions League. An Alternative Viewpoint

  1. Gööner In Exile says:

    That’s bloody marvellous Terry!

  2. arnie says:

    fantastic comedy, Terry. 🙂

    when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. we have shown mettle in the past, in crucial away legs, let us see what mettle we have.

    3-0 away to Monaco. easy peasy. 🙂

  3. Arnie, I hope you really mean 0 – 3 away to Monaco. 😀

  4. GunnerN5 says:

    Thanks Terry you put, yet another, smile on my face.

    When I think about the CL Final against Barcelona, I see TH14 closing in on goal with only the keeper to beat – only for him to miss………………..end of.

    Oh what could have been if he’d scored???

  5. You’re a funny geezer Transplant, always put a smile on my face!

    Just thinking about whether the boys will win the CL before I peg it… I f*cking hope so, but given my lifestyle they’d better do it soon 🙂

  6. GoonerB says:

    Great post Sir Terrence. Can I suggest the bus you chased that made you think you were the fastest man that ever lived was in fact a telephone box. You must have wondered when you woke up the next morning Terry, only to find you were in exactly the same place as when you started chasing it………..the swingers club hostage crisis I can see being a more likely event.

    I missed out on the whingeing after the game as I couldn’t get on in the week so it is a bit late to start now. I have heard how dreadful we were and how great they were. Some were saying it was the best away performance in the ECL ever….

    What a load of rubbish. I will give them credit that they controlled the game from 1-0 and kept it tight countering well but it was as much that we played into their hands with that. Not excusing us our obvious faults, it took a lucky deflection to get them ahead and they hadn’t troubled us til then. That was also after we missed a multitude of chances.

    The best defence ever?????? Rubbish, because a top striker would have put 5 past them in that game with the chances we created. They didn’t stop us creating chances it was just that we didn’t take them. That says more about us than it does about their great defence. That is the one positive we can take to the 2nd leg, that we did carve them open a few times. If we get our finishing in order we can put 4 or 5 past them IMO.

  7. arnie says:

    Norfolk. 🙂 pedantics. any ROLF yet?

  8. Get rid of him…. 🙂

  9. WBA beating Southampton 1 – 0 at the moment…. ROLF arnie

    Palace beat Wham 3 – 1…. ROLF arnie

  10. arnie says:

    Northbank. 🙂 ROLF ROLF ROLF. 🙂

  11. Eddie says:

    thanks Terry, very funny post.
    I am worse than over last Wednesday – I don’t care much and that is dangerous. Once I lose interest in something it’s forever. Small loss to the Arsenal, but how many other fans are equally disappointed?

    It was criminal to throw away such great an opportunity. We won’t get a better chance of winning. We thought it was our year

    arnie – we won’t win 3:0 away – they will try like you seldom see them trying. but it is not happening

  12. arnie says:

    Evonne. Aha, we said the same before Dortmund away, before Bayern away.

    If there is one thing I have lernt in life from supporting the Arsenal it is this: never say die before you are dead and buried. COYG.

  13. arnie says:

    no ROLF in the ManUre game then. 😦 bloody typical. red card and penalty. 😦

  14. arnie says:

    it seems ref sent off wrong player as well 😛

  15. RA says:

    Hi arnie, baby. 🙂

    You said:- ‘never say die before you are dead and buried’

    The thing is; you could never say die after you are dead and buried — unless you are a zombie like Terry. 🙂

  16. RA says:

    The Scots and the Frenchies have the best national anthems – [come on you French rugger buggers.] 🙂

  17. arnie says:

    always expect Redders to spot the fine print. 🙂 “never say die” it is then! 😛

  18. stevepalmer1 says:

    Evening all, Comical post Terry.
    I see one or two feel our Champions league is over for another season, Strangely i bumped into a mate and his wife while shopping this morning who has a season ticket, I asked him if he was there the other night, where he gave me a half an hour of how bad we were. He said that he felt it was one of the worst games he has witnessed in his 20 years as a season ticket man.

    I felt that by that statement, what he was really saying was that he expected us to be winning this one. A defeat at home when expected to win, in a competition that we haven’t been that successful in, can be grossly exaggerated by many caring Gooners.

    I tried to explain that this is only the first leg and we can still turn this tie round, He reckoned yes there is a chance but cannot see a side at home who don’t give much away, conceding the amount of goals needed,and us not conceding with our present defence.

    He was still uptight over the result so i thought i would leave it at that and let them go about their shopping. I suppose many Gooners are feeling the same way, but i do honestly feel that its not all over for us this season.

    Arsenal are Jekyll and Hyde this season, what team will turn up has us all scratching our heads. Many games we have had, has turned out to be different to what we expected, but i still have belief in this team.

    Wenger will not think its over, he knows that a loss in Monaco will get the black scarf’s and banners out again. But in all honesty he must be feeling that we have a steep hill to climb. I have seen what this team can do when they put their minds to it, and we need one of those games on the day.

    I am hoping for a lifting win this week to build confidence and to keep us in third place. Now’s the time for a spell of form, hopefully Wenger will pick the right team tomorrow, 3 points will go a long way to lift the players and supporters spirits. I still have faith and feel we can go through, and i expect real effort to propel us to the next draw.

  19. chas says:

    Arsenal trying to win the Champions League………….

  20. mickydidit89 says:

    Not bloody likely, Chas
    This is where we were today. Miserable, although looks quite nice now the wind has dropped and we’re home 😦

  21. mickydidit89 says:


    Comic Legend.

  22. mickydidit89 says:

    Now I’m better post Wednesday, of course we can win 3-0 there

  23. chas says:

    Looks quite nice at Putsborough. Plenty of backdoor action.

  24. chas says:

  25. chas says:

  26. mickydidit89 says:

    ha ha,
    Talking of backdoor action, the world surf thingies start again in March

  27. mickydidit89 says:

    Is the denial erection flag in honour of my 3-0?

  28. arnie says:

    “Plenty of backdoor action”. 😆

  29. mickydidit89 says:

    Oh blimey, not you as well 🙂

  30. mickydidit89 says:

    Just looked up final scores and it gave the world cup cricket final.
    Kiwis by a run or wicket? Sounds like it was a close finish and exciting

  31. LB says:

    Great read Terry.

  32. chas says:

    No, it was in honour of Roger East but if the cap fits…… 🙂

  33. chas says:

    I presume you meant final score rather than ‘world cup cricket final’. it was only a pool A game but exciting nonetheless by the sounds of it.

  34. mickydidit89 says:

    Nope, I thought it was the final 🙄

    In fairness, they do play a lot of tournaments

  35. arnie says:

    a wicket

  36. mickydidit89 says:

    Oh major shitballs
    14:05 KO, and we’re going to a beach bbq brunch 50th at 11:30

  37. mickydidit89 says:

    You’re taking the piss now Arnie
    It ended hours ago, even I know that

  38. chas says:

    Haha, that was the answer to your question (as if you didn’t know 🙂 )

  39. arnie says:


  40. chas says:

    Excellent and hypnotic video.

    (BR, if you don’t like the effete Northern music, just watch the video with some druid chanting or whatever in the background) 🙂

  41. mickydidit89 says:

    Don’t know what you two are on, or on about
    Checked football scores and it said Australia got 157 and Kiwis got 158-9, so they won and you can’t have another wicket

  42. mickydidit89 says:

    That is a great vid

  43. chas says:

    Question: “Kiwis by a run or wicket?”
    Answer: “a wicket”

  44. chas says:

    Did you bunk off when it was cricket term at DidIt’s “Little School” ?

  45. mickydidit89 says:

    Long Stop
    Hated it

    Scoring one run more than the opposition sounds an awful lot like winning by one run to me

  46. chas says:

    You can only win by one run if you bat first.

  47. mickydidit89 says:

    Loving the vines

  48. chas says:

    Was it vickery?

  49. mickydidit89 says:

    Maybe they batted first Mr Clever

  50. chas says:

    I’m finding this pretty funny. I’m sure the guy wasn’t seriously hurt.
    The support he gets from his mates is priceless.

  51. mickydidit89 says:

    Do you mean the rugger chum when you say Vickery?
    If so, no. I’ll email you a pic of him with Oscar and see if you can guess
    Don’t say his name on here

  52. chas says:

    Ok, I won’t say a word.
    I was trying to be cryptic with my question but failing miserably obviously.

  53. mickydidit89 says:

    Vickery does live near here, but I’ve never him

  54. mickydidit89 says:

    Oh f*ck off Ally ha ha ha ha

  55. mickydidit89 says:

    Check your emails before you do any more research

  56. mickydidit89 says:

    ok nite all

  57. arnie says:

    hmmm. handbags? seemed perfectly innocuous, but dont know what happened there.

    question is, will England’s bowling withstand the pressure?

  58. arnie says:

    and NO is the answer. 😦

  59. Gööner In Exile says:

    Old Farm Derby today. Shame it kicks off same time as Arsenal

  60. mickydidit89 says:

    Old Farm Derby 🙂 🙂

  61. mickydidit89 says:

    Match Day….whoop whoop

    Attack attack attack. Bit like scoring one more run than them in cricket, we need all goal scorers on the pitch today

    If The Ox doesn’t start, I’m Wenger Outing 🙂

  62. chas says:

    Haha, I thought Old Farm Derby was a typo until I looked it up,

    Also on today’s menu……………………
    dippers v light blue oilers
    chavs v spuds MM final (not wearing colours, London could get tasty in parts)
    Ireland v England in the rugby
    Small possibility of some ant and ducking, too, as we’re on the train.

  63. chas says:

  64. chas says:

  65. chas says:

  66. mickydidit89 says:

    ha ha ha

    I love it that someone spends time making a heli-pad for their dog

  67. mickydidit89 says:

    Olivier Giroud wears a football boot on his right peg?

  68. mickydidit89 says:

    “Did you have a good weekend?”
    “Yes, fabulous. Made a heli-pad for my dog’s head”

  69. Gööner In Exile says:

    How have the Arsenal Foundation actually managed to make those boots look like clown shoes 😀

    In seriousness I don’t get modern football boots, what was so wrong with 6 screw in studs? And a nice black and white kangaroo leather boot with a good coating of dubbing (or Vaseline was my choice) to keep the water and mud off?

    I struggle to believe these blades help players turn quicker or that they are more stable.

  70. mickydidit89 says:

    Or shoot straight 🙂

  71. Gööner In Exile says:

    Still the best boot

  72. Gööner In Exile says:

    Or these if you had slimmer foot:

  73. mickydidit89 says:

    Ok, let’s play a game. Reasons why this might not be the right kind of game for £100k+ a week Theo Walcott. I’ll go first:

    The opposition might wear blue?

  74. mickydidit89 says:

    The grass might be mown in a check pattern?

  75. Gööner In Exile says:

    I don’t notice goalie gloves much these days but for my choice would be these:

    They used to cost as much as boots and I’d get through three pairs a season which club paid for.

    And then shin pads? This is all you need to be compliant, hated those with the ankle guards as they ruined fit of boot and no straps:

  76. Gööner In Exile says:

    Micky….he is not as good as Alexis or Ozil.

  77. mickydidit89 says:

    Stop being sensible Exile 🙂

    Three pairs of gloves a season!! So a really crap defence then?

  78. chas says:

    He’s shit?

  79. mickydidit89 says:

    Because no-one else agrees that Danny is miles better than Ollie as CF, I’ve given up on that campaign, and now moved on to “Theo through the middle” 🙂

  80. Gööner In Exile says:

    First pair of gloves were done by September due to rock hard pitches removing all latex.

    Second pair of gloves gone by Easter, third pair ruined in April May by hard pitches again.

  81. chas says:

    Where’s the early pre-match, BR? 🙂

  82. chas says:

  83. chas says:

    Right, bus to catch to train station.

  84. mickydidit89 says:

    You know the answer very well, Chas.

    Rasp is busy first thing in the morning, and last night was The Festival of The Eleventh Age, thus ruling out an early start for The Hippy.

    Ok, break the fast, chop wood for the beach bbq, and hopefully pop back for an Eddie Tale of The Unexpected 🙂

  85. Big Raddy says:

    Morning All,

    Nice day for it.

    Went to see Kraftwerk last night. Don’t usually see any band without a guitar but made an exception due to a free ticket and 3rd row seats.

    As we entered the auditorium we were handed 3D glasses – a worrying start particularly as I have given up psychotropic assistance but I was wrong, they were excellent – really excellent.

    Now to think about the PM. Not inspired as yet – need motivation and a theme.

    Back later

  86. Gööner In Exile says:

    Kraftwerk the antidote to expressive dance music.

  87. mickydidit89 says:

    More coffee needed.

    Does he start Giroud, what with all the confidence stuff?

    My guess is being French as well as a ponce, Arsene will have to play this one sensitively. I’ll make the assumption OG remains his first choice CF, and this being case, I reckon he’ll start.

    The Ox will certainly start, and I’d drop both Fritz’ as those are less of confidence issues.

    Bring back the hard workers. Easter, Ox, Mozart all in for me.

  88. mickydidit89 says:

    Who thought of Paul Easter. Was it NB? Genius

  89. chas mobile says:

  90. mickydidit89 says:

    Is this a good time to stiffen up and add Chambers to the midfield, what with Arteta and Flamini both being unwell?

    Looking forward to seeing the Raddy line up

  91. Ant says:

    We’re back!

  92. chas mobile says:

    Always a good time to stiffen up.

  93. Ant says:

    I!ve been stiff for years.

  94. Ant says:

    There were no parking attendants with DMs this morning.

  95. Ant says:

    We might manage double figures today…but in what?

  96. Ant says:

    Wake up!

  97. Ant says:

    Micky loves these like us.

  98. mickydidit89 says:

    Ah ha, the boys are back 🙂

    Never mix your drinks, say some

  99. Ant says:

    We used to be called “The Boys” 45 years ago but not recently so thanks Micky.

    We’ve just had a free tea.. That will be the killer.

  100. Ant says:

    Need to get the comment count up and the quality down.. Result!

  101. mickydidit89 says:

    Those are seriously crap seats for 1st Class

    Mind you, I suppose for Northerners they’ll do 🙂

  102. Ant says:

    First class has been overrun by chavs from Donny with ringtones of songs Micky doesn’t know… And high pitch coarse voices like Alan Ball.

  103. mickydidit89 says:

    Ok, enjoy the game and the journey fellas

    Hoping to make it back for 2nd half and the goal rush


  104. Ant says:

    I might be able to stand up at by the second half M.

  105. Ant says:

    Where’s the PM oh holy hippy!

  106. Ant says:

    Chas is looking a bit rough after a couple of cheeky ciders.

  107. Big Raddy says:

    New Post (you ingrates)

  108. Gööner In Exile says:

    8:30 am and Chas can’t hold camera still to reveal the beers. I know the EPA is good, not sure about the Strongbow-alike and Heineken-alike tins

  109. chas mobile says:

    They’re cheap and do the trick, Puffin

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: