How much do you know about Spurs?

February 9, 2018

Question 1 : Who scored the winning goal when Spurs last won the FA Cup in 1991?

Question 2 : How many managers have they had since 1996?

Question 3 : When did Spurs last win a trophy?

Question 4 : Who was the manager at that time?

Question 5 : How many times have they been relegated since they joined the Football League in 1908?

Question 6 : How many years did this mean there couldn’t be an official St Totteringham’s day?

Question 7 : Which former Tottenham manager was cautioned for kerb crawling in 1987?

Question 8 :  Why does the chicken standing on a basketball featured in the club crest wear spurs?

Question 9 : How many summers have passed since Spurs last won the League?

Question 10 : To Dare is To Do – what the hell does it mean?

Question 11 : Whose famous tweet led to Spurs fans mistakenly celebrating a Newcastle equaliser?

Question 12 : Who wrote the book entitled The Team that Dared To Do about Tottenham’s 1994/5 League season when they finished 7th?


Farewell to the Lane – Thanks for the Memories

February 8, 2018

It seems decidely odd that the upcoming North London Derby will take place in north west London. Perhaps it’s time to reminisce once more about the former home of our irksome neighbours. White Hart Lane could be compared to lovers’ lanes all over the country; a place full of seedy characters giving off that slightly nauseating whiff of desperation, but also a place where excitement-filled, enjoyable times have been spent basking in numerous victorious climaxes.

Who could forget 7th May 1927? Level on points with the spuds going into the final game of the season and who should be our last opponents but only the miscreants themselves and at the Lane, too. No need to worry as the boys in red and white ran out comfortable 4-0 winners for a very special last day of the season St Totteringham’s day.

The next glorious day out down Tottenham High Road came on 6th March 1935 in the fourth of our 1930s title winning seasons. Spurs decided that to curb Arsenal’s free-scoring forward line, they needed to set an offside-trap. It failed, they lost 6-0 with goals from Kirchen (2), Drake (2), Dougall and Bastin from the penalty spot. The only photo of that game emerging from a quick search is this of Frank Moss gathering the ball from a rare Tottenham attack (perhaps the photographer was a spud as he must have been stationed at the wrong end of the stadium!)

On 20th September 1952, Tottenham’s 11th largest home attendance at White Hart Lane, 69,247, saw them lose 3-1 to Arsenal with goals from Goring, Logie and Milton.  This was followed a year later on 10th October by another home 4-1 thrashing in front of their 8th biggest crowd at the Lane. 69,821 spectators witnessed another 2 goals from Jimmy Logie this time around. 1957 and 1959 saw comprehensive Arsenal wins of 3-1 and 4-1 respectively in N17 before Spurs briefly took the upper hand with their last League title in 1961. But this wasn’t to be the last time the top flight was ever clinched on White Hart Lane soil, oh no.

Next on the list of glorious moments at the home of South Middlesex’s finest came on the 3rd May 1971 with Arsenal clinching the League title in front of a White Hart Lane crowd swarming with Gunners. Ray Kennedy’s late goal gave Arsenal the points to overhaul Leeds at the top and witness the Lane turn into a sea of bright red.

My personal highlight of trips to the Lane came on December 23rd 1978 with our 5-0 Christmas demolition of ‘Silent Spurs’. Stood with my old man and 2 brothers on the away terrace, that date has become etched in my memory. I was wearing a lightweight rain jacket with a front pocket which contained a Mars bar. Remembering about its existence only after all the jubilant celebrations had died down, that chocolate bar cannot have been more than a quarter inch thick when it finally emerged.

“Oh, Brady won it beautifully. Look at That – Oh, Look at That! What a Goal by Brady!”

The roll of honour continues with an epic League Cup semi-final in 1987. The first leg at Highbury finished 1-0 to Spurs, with a goal from a prolific Clive Allen. Allen also scored in the first half of the second leg at the Lane. Reportedly, at half-time the Spurs stadium announcer made announcements about how the Neanderthal hordes could book tickets for the Final. They turned out to be rather premature as goals from Viv Anderson and Niall Quinn meant that the semi ended unresolved.

The referee, Alan Gunn, tossed a coin to decide where a replay would take place and after his first attempt stuck upright in the mud, the second toss landed in Spurs’ favour. The 4th March 1987 was to see one of our greatest ever comebacks at the Lane. Clive Allen scored for the third time in the tie in the 62nd minute and Spurs looked to have finally gotten the upper hand. However the best was yet to come as the 82nd  minute saw an unlikely equaliser from Ian Allinson before the Park Lane erupted with Rocky’s 90th minute winner – the first time Arsenal had been in front over the 3 games!

Notable victories in the 90s were hard to come by until a majestic 3-1 win at the Lane on the 5th May 1999 capped off with a stunning goal from Nwankwo Kanu, sporting the sharpest haircut I’ve ever seen.

Next up a disappointing draw on 25th April 2004, with Mad Jens falling for Robbie Keane’s foul tactics of treading on the toes of the German’s size thirteens. The incensed goalkeeper’s reaction enabled the aforementioned Irishman to convert a last minute penalty equaliser. The resulting Spurs DVD failed to mention that Arsenal had only needed a draw to clinch the top flight title at their own stadium – and for the second time, no less.

Argentine defender Mauricio Taricco – who prior to the equaliser had suffered a torrid afternoon chasing the Arsenal forward line – somehow managed to pull his hamstring during his team’s misguided celebrations of their equaliser.

A clearly incensed Henry – despite being warned by the authorities beforehand – at the final whistle gathered his troops together and took them to the now celebrating corner where the Arsenal fans were congregated.

As he said afterwards in a thinly veiled nod at Taricco’s behaviour:” When you see behaviour like that it is impossible for us not to celebrate in response.”

Recent years haven’t seen us win any more titles at the Lane but have seen some banging goals from departees Fabregas and Adebayor in particular but the best has to be this beauty from Arsenal favourite Tomas Rosicky.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf9XyZq25Kw

Thanks for joining me on this journey down the Lane. I hope you all have some fond memories of the Tottenham High Road public convenience, too. 🙂

chas

 


Top Six PL Teams Final Countdown

February 7, 2018

With only twelve games remaining Arsenal find themselves in sixth place, five points out of a Champions League position. Manchester City are run away leaders and are odds on favourites to win the championship with second place Manchester United a distant thirteen points behind. The only question that remains to be answered is the final positions of the next five teams, with this in mind here are the remaining games for each club.

With the recent additions of Mkhitaryan and Aubameyang, Arsenal appear to have improved our attacking options but will our suspect defence be good enough?

It’s important for us to keep up the momentum after the Everton game where our offence was superb and AW was able to field his preferred defensive partnerships.

Next up we play Tottenham at Wembley, the NLD is always a spirited game with an electric atmosphere that could easily spark a fire. Win this and we will enhance our top 4 possibilities – lose and it will look like a bridge too far.

Our goal is straight forward, we have to get 5 points more than Spurs and 6 points more than Chelsea – do you think it’s possible?

I do……………………..

GunnerN5

 


Arsenal – England’s Longest Top Flight Team

February 6, 2018

By 1919 the Football League was gearing up for the return of the national game after the trials and tribulations of the First World War. It was proposed that the First Division be extended to include 22 teams rather than the 20 which had competed 4 years previously. On previous League expansions, teams who had sat in the relegation positions stayed up and two were added from Divison Two. With such a large gap between the cessation of League football because of the Great War and its resumption in 1919, normal rules did not apply.

The 1914/5 season had ended in dubious circumstances. There had been allegations that Manchester United and Liverpool had colluded to ensure that the red Mancs would not be relegated. Their final game was allegedly fixed, United winning 2-0 and thus condemning 19th placed Chelsea to the second relegation spot.

Liverpool chairman John McKenna, wracked with guilt at the League’s resumption, gave a speech at the League’s AGM insisting that the West London club remain in the top flight.  Preston and Derby had finished first and second in the promotion places at the end of the 1914/5 season. It was unanimously agreed that Chelsea, Preston and Derby would be in the new First Division.

This left one position in the new 22 team First Division up for grabs. Seven contenders emerged, the five teams who had finished 3rd to 7th in the 1915 League Division Two table, Barnsley, Wolves, Birmingham, Arsenal and Hull , Nottingham Forest (for some bizarre reason) who had finished 18th in Division Two and finally and by every means least, Tottenham Hotspurs, who had ignominiously finished bottom in Division One behind Chelsea.

A formal vote was held at the League meeting of March 10th 1919 and the results, as documented in the minutes, were as follows;

Arsenal 18, Tottenham Hotspur 8, Barnsley 5, Wolves 4, Nottingham Forest 3, Birmingham 2, Hull 1

Arsenal Football Club’s inherent glamour and prestige appeared to be major overriding factors in the result, most seeing how beneficial it would be to the top flight to include such attractive opposition.  Accusations of vote-influencing bribery are, of course, preposterous; Sir Henry Norris was of far too upstanding a character to stoop to such levels. Judging by how unpopular Spurs were at the time, it is remarkable that they even managed to gather 8 votes. For years there had been a festering of resentment against Tottenham Hotspur because of their delayed entry to the Football League right up until 1908, favouring the Southern League previously. There were even allegations that they had had to bribe their way into the Football League by offering financial inducements to Stoke City to resign.

Perhaps teams in the First Divison had just become tired of trudging across Tottenham Marshes to get to White Hart Lane?

Perhaps it was recognised that a proper London Club, rather than one from the swamps of South Middlesex would be more fitting in the top flight in the new period of post-war optimism?

Middlesex in green, Essex in blue, the County of London in white

Thus began Arsenal’s glorious and long-enduring run in the top flight of English football.

Long may it continue.


Toffees Trampled in North London – Player Ratings

February 4, 2018

How one feels about some event tends to say more about the individual doing the feeling than it does about the event itself.

Of course I am talking about one isolated game of football, and for me, the fluctuations in my range of feelings begin with anticipation, the team sheet, and finally the performance. The bigger picture stuff is completely forgotten about in the moment. It can wait.

The anticipation of this particular isolated event was naturally bolstered as it came on the back of a storming transfer window which brought the promise of a refreshing new era.

I don’t suppose anyone believed our new star, PEA, would be making the XI, but that is what happened. If you did not experience a surge of tingles shortly after the team was announced just after 4:30, then hope fades for you. Auba was starting, and better still, being re-united with the man with whom he shared such a devastating partnership in their heyday at Dortmund, Mikki.

The game was pure joy from start to finish, and with the exception of LB, we all saw it (I hope our own cyclist has access to internet replays). Stars shone and stars were born, but most importantly there was the old Arsenal swagger back in sharp focus. Confidence oozed and smiles on players faces returned, replacing the furrowed brows of our recent visit to Wales.

Now that the dust has settled, and the sun rises over a new era, we get to do the bigger picture stuff. Well, to be more precise, you lot do.

I think  Eddie has already perfectly captured the new mood regarding the big picture when she said earlier: “the best aspect of yesterday’s display is our imminent trip to Wembley. Instead of being scared I am actually looking forward to watching some spuds being mashed.”

On a personal note, I never believed for one second we’d actually sign Auba. Damn it’s good to be wrong.

 

Ratings

Cech/Ospina – Where Did Our Love Go – It’s so much more fun being in the crowd when David is taking goal kicks ….8/8

Monreal/Kolasinac – Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – Nacho is important to the team – as the Beast proved in the second half…9/8

Mustafi – Uptight (Everything’s Alright) – Committed, positive and forthright ….8

Koscielny – Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me) –  Stooping header to finish off his centre back partner’s flick on – Bould and Adams?  ….8

Bellerin – Living For the City – Loved going forward, knowing he might actually receive the ball  ….8

Xhaka – Ball of Confusion (That’s What the World Is Today) – Much better from Granit – Fat Sam not playing any strikers until the second half helped ….8

Ramsey – Three Times a Lady –  Bang, bang, bang – enjoyed himself immensely – as did we all ….9

Mkhitaryan – Reach Out, I’ll Be There – Micki loves creating goals, works hard for the team and hits early pinpoint balls across the box – what’s not to love? ….9

Iwobi  – You Can’t Hurry Love – Didn’t look out of place playing in such esteemed company  ….8

Ozil – Let’s Get It On – Loves playing with his new teammates ….9

Aubameyang – Dancing In The Street – Majestic finish to equal Stevie Bould’s achievement of scoring on his debut ….8

Written by MickyDidIt89 

(except the ratings)

 


Aubameyang – Destined to Play for Arsenal

February 2, 2018

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, also known as PEA or ‘Auba’ has already mentioned that he would like to emulate Thierry Henry as an Arsenal great. They were both wingers at the start of their careers who developed a killer instinct in front of goal. While Thierry developed his art at Highbury under the guidance of Arsene Wenger, Auba comes to Arsenal Football Club in his prime and as the finished article. Anyone connected with the club will be hoping he can emulate his predecessor’s success while playing in the same number 14 shirt.

It’s a little known fact that Auba was an Arsenal supporter when younger 🙂

Auba was born in Laval, France in June 1989. His mother, Margarita Crespo Aubameyang has roots in Spain while his Gabonese father, Pierre (nicknamed ‘Yaya’), played professional football for a variety of clubs including Le Havre, Toulouse and Nice before ending his career at another French club, Rouen. He also made 80 appearances for the Gabon national team as solid defender and national captain.

His grandfather took Auba to his first serious training sessions at Laval aged 11. But it was not until his father took him into the first-team dressing room at Nice that the bug really bit. “Something changed in me. I had had the dream of being a pro. But it was a dream, lots of kids have that,” Aubameyang explained. “But when I breathed in the air of the dressing room, I knew exactly what I wanted to do.”

After finishing his playing career, Pierre Senior worked as a coach for AC Milan and Auba joined his two half-brothers, Catalina and Willy at The AC Milan academy. His early career spluttered and loans to Dijon, Lille and Monaco weren’t as successful as they might have been.

By 2011 AC Milan had decided the young winger could move on. St Etienne coach Christophe Galtier saw huge potential in the lightning speed of the young Gabonese player (reportedly clocked at AC Milan running 30m in 3.7 seconds – faster than a 2009 Usain Bolt) and after an initial loan period, the Ligue 1 side signed him on a permanent deal. Thirty-five league goals in just 73 league appearances over the next two seasons proved Galtier absolutely right.

Aubameyang’s love of sports cars, jewel-encrusted boots and outlandish clothing may take the headlines but he is a loving father to son Curtys and often dedicates goals to his son by wearing superhero masks in the celebration. According to his close friend Christophe Jallet, “Aubameyang is a quiet lad who doesn’t visit nightclubs, doesn’t drink alcohol and always dreams about football.”

Dortmund had come to notice that Auba had developed a cold-blooded goalscorer’s instinct in front of goal and signed him in July 2013. He made a dream debut a month later scoring a hattrick against FC Augsburg.

Auba’s Dortmund career has launched him into the world spotlight, scoring 141 goals in 213 appearances for the Bundesliga side. He won the German equivalent of the Golden Boot award in the 2016/7 season with his 31 league goals. Fittingly the trophy is a cannon and seems almost prescient of his Arsenal career to come.

Arsenal’s wantaway Chilean’s transfer to Manchester has led to Auba’s ex-Dortmund colleague Henrikh Mkhitaryan also being welcomed to the home of football. Let’s hope their previously successful partnership can be fruitful once again.

Welcome to Arsenal, Auba. We all hope your stay with us is both productive and joyful.

 


Disgrace at the Liberty – Player ratings

January 31, 2018

A few comments from AA bloggers to summarise that rock-bottom performance.

Big Raddy says at 7:54
Looks as though there has been a touch of rain in Swansea

(Ed…This is always bad news when we play – we perform badly in the rain – the only time it’s an advantage is when we play a team that’s poncier than us, like Chelsea)

and at 8:08
20 minutes gone and Fabianski has yet to touch the ball.
Playing across the back is fine but can’t we just try and attack?

and at 8:19
What a brilliant pass from Mesut and a terrific finish.
Get in.

Rasp says at 8:21
How typical, we score and then concede within 2 minutes … will our training staff ever pick up on these repeated patterns …. we switch off after we score!!!

Eddie says at 8:30
lucky it is not 4 nil

FGG says at 8:37
Defensively dreadful from Xhaka. He looks at Clucas and just stands still whilst he runs past him into our box. I don’t care what anyone tells me, there is no way he has ever been a HM player. He just doesn’t see danger at all.

Big Raddy says at 8:38
We are being outplayed by the bottom team in the PL. They are faster to the second ball, more dynamic, more organised in defence and overall comfortable. We have been crap.

FGG says at 9:08
May as well not have a manager or strikers if we are going to do stuff like that. Terrible.

Rasp says at 9:41
Arsenal:
75%possession
9 shots, 1 goal

Swansea:
25% possession,
12 shots, 3 goals

No hiding, our style of football is not effective

Match assessment

Possession football – what is the point of it exactly? Arsenal sides in the past few years have always tended to have excellent numbers in terms of possession. This has also been reflected in the number of chances we’ve created. The worrying trend this season, and away from home especially, has been that our possesion stats have stayed high but the number of chances to score have been plummeting.

What is the point of continually holding on to the ball in non-threatening positons and then losing it immediately you get anywhere near the opposition’s 10 man defence? Players are scared to lose the ball by making potentially chance-creating passes. Our football is stale and how to play against us has been worked out, polished and then perfected by the poorest of teams.

Ratings

Cech – Back to work – hmm, yeah right ….4

Monreal – Great goal, one of the few dangerous runs forward of the night. Poor throw to Mustafi in the build up to the second goal. Slipped for the third goal ….5

Mustafi – If you’re put into a difficult situation, put it in row Z ….4

Koscielny – Still our best defender but too quiet to be captain ….5

Bellerin – Tried hard, crossing still poor ….5

Xhaka – Track midfielders running into the area, ffs …3

Ramsey – Not even playing against his old enemy could inspire Rambo to much on his full return to the Premiership ….4

Elneny – At least he committed himself for the cause ….6

Iwobi – Better going forward than last time out – possible should have had a rest in favour of the new boy ….5

Ozil – Quality assist with one of the few penetrating passes of the game – must be pleased he’s left his options open ….6

Lacazette – Poor service and the lad almost seems to have given up hoping this nightmare will turn around (much like the rest of us) ….4

Giroud looked as sad as the Arsenal Away Boys.


Get it done please, Ivan

January 29, 2018

Who would have thought the January transfer window was going to be so busy and exciting?

Coq out, Theo out, Sanchez out – Henrikh in as part of the latter deal.
If we manage to get Pierre-Emerick over the line, then it would be seen as a successful window, surely?
If not, the squad would appear depleted and the pervasive mood one of deflation.

Does the Aubameyang sale depend on Dortmund finding a replacement?

Did BVB initially want Big Ollie as part of the deal but we slapped a ‘Not For Sale’ notice on his beard?  Would you be happy losing our plan B?

In today’s cash-rich footballing world, the difference between 50 million and 60 million seems negligible – is that how Arsenal see it?

We can surely afford to reduce our cash reserves a little so are there any other considerations regarding wage bills?

Do other clubs have these seemingly interminable transfer sagas and we just don’t notice them?

Ivan, bearing in mind we can’t force Dortmund to sell and if it is humanly possible, please don’t allow yourself and Arsenal Football Club to end up with egg on our faces by 11pm on Wednesday.

We can’t even blame Dick Law now.

 


Arsenals Top Seasons 1947-48 – Our 7th Best

January 28, 2018

One night during WWII I was lying in bed when the room was suddenly lit up with a nearby searchlight coming on. Thinking it was a raid coming, I jumped out of bed and I started to get dressed. Looking out of the window, I saw dozens of searchlights sweeping the sky and waving backwards and forwards. I went into the front room where Mum and Dad had the radio on and they were just announcing the end of the war in Europe. Our next-door neighbour rushed in and everybody sat talking until the early hours of the morning. The next day nobody went to work and we had an impromptu party down at the corner of the road. People took cakes and sandwiches down to be shared out and a radiogram was fixed up to provide music for people to dance to.

Germany had officially surrendered and Londoners could now try to rebuild their damaged City and lives. Life was still very difficult, good jobs were scarce, food was still rationed, we still used Cow and Gate powered milk, and bomb sites were scattered all over town. But gradually life was returning to the streets and the daily fear of bombing raids, and having to dash to air raid shelters for safety, was now just a horrible memory.

The Arsenal ground in North London was not spared war damage as the North Stand was extensively damaged by fire and the roof had collapsed, the South Stand terracing was also badly damaged and in need of repair. The debts from the construction of Highbury and the costs of repairing the war damage were a heavy financial burden, and Arsenal struggled when competitive football resumed.

The war had cut short the careers of many of the club’s star players, including Bastin and Drake and nine of the pre-WW11 staff  were lost during the war. Upon the league’s resumption in 1946-47 the club began poorly and were bottom at Christmas. However, George Allison managed to make two signings late in 1946 which laid the foundations for the success of the following 1947/8 season. Cultured left half Joe Mercer was signed from Everton in November at the age of 32 on the agreement that he could commute from Liverpool and Ronnie Rooke, a prolific goalscorer in Division 2, signed from Fulham a month later. With a face carved from granite, his 6ft 3in, 15 stone frame helped to define his powerful playing style.  Rooke scored 21 goals in the 24 games he played that season and helped to drag Arsenal up to 13th place.

 

After close to forty years with the Arsenal, George Allison decided to retire from football in the summer of 1947 and was replaced by his assistant Tom Whittaker, who had been the club’s trainer under Herbert Chapman. Whittaker took over the reins at Highbury with Joe Shaw joining him from Chelsea. Arsenal kicked off the1947/48 season with a 3-1 victory over Sunderland at Highbury, an ideal start for the new management team (see British Pathe video below).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ys2vdV_r8No

Leslie Compton, the previous club Captain who had been playing cricket for Middlesex, returned to Arsenal and we won the next six games. Joe Mercer had been Arsenal’s Captain in Compton’s absence but Whittaker felt that now Compton was back he should, once again, lead the team but Compton felt differently and persuaded him to keep Joe on as the club Captain. There certainly seemed to be harmony in the Arsenal dressing room as we remained unbeaten in the first 17 games of the season, winning 12 and drawing 5 before losing 0-1 away to Derby County in the 18th game.

That 17th game of the unbeaten start proved to be a milestone in the life of GunnerN5. I was nine years old and I spent endless hours playing football with my mates on Avenell Road as we kicked a rag football (made by my Mum) about using the main gate into Highbury as our goal. We were in awe of all the supporters as they streamed in and out of Highbury on Saturday afternoons wishing we could be inside with them. The Oohs and Aahs coming from the ground always left us wondering what was happening but we always knew when the Gunners had scored as that caused the biggest roar of all. My maternal Grandfather changed my life when he gave me the best birthday present I’d  received – for my 10th birthday he took me to my very first Arsenal game – it was November 22nd 1947 Arsenal vs Huddersfield Town and we won 2-0. That game was the start my lifelong journey of supporting the Arsenal and it was capped off with us winning the League Championship.

North London had the original Ronnie and Reggie up front as Ronnie Rooke and Reg Lewis powered Arsenal to the title with 47 goals between them (Rooke’s 33 goals still stands as a post-war record, although Thierry Henry did manage 30 goals in 4 less games in the Invincibles season). Arsenal were the dominant team of the season and were ahead of the other final top teams from the 2nd game of the season onward – as shown in the following table. The highlighted variance column shows how many points the 2nd, 3rd and 4th teams Manchester United, Burnley, and Derby County) were behind Arsenal after each game of the season. Top of the table for 41 of the 42 League matches – the phrase ‘never in doubt’ has never been more correctly used.

In the final Arsenal matchday programme of the 1947/48 League Championship winning season, ‘Marksman’ (aka Harry Homer), the programme editor of the day, wrote: “…my mind seeks an apt quotation with which to close this season which has been such a glorious one for Tom Whittaker, Joe Mercer and all connected with The Gunners. Shall we turn for once to Latin? ‘Victoria Concordia Crescit’. Translation: ‘Victory grows out of harmony.’”

Two seasons later and Arsenal unveiled its new crest which incorporated Marksman’s Latin maxim. Tom Whittaker explained in the 1949/50 handbook (which also included the new crest) that the Club had been impressed by Marksman’s motto and it had now been officially adopted by the Club. The new crest also featured ‘Arsenal’ in a gothic style typeface, the westward facing cannon, the Borough of Islington’s coat of arms and ermine(courtesy of Arsenal.com)

Written by GunnerN5


Wembley Beckons – player ratings for Carabao Semi part two

January 25, 2018

First half

The chavs came flying out of the blocks, high press, overloading the centre backs with Hazard, Pedro and Willian confusing the whatnots out of Koscielny and Mustafi. Thank Dennis their early goal was cancelled out by Nacho’s crazy double kiss header, else the game could have run away from us.

Our midfield was all over the place with no-one quite sure what they were supposed to be doing as the ball flashed past them.

Gradually we got a toe-hold and had the two best chances in the rest of the first half; a Granit fizzer from a free kick and Mesut’s deflected right footer just before the break.

Second half

So much better second half, even without the cones! Chelsea began to play for the away goal counting after extra time. Their rotational fouling was not penalised by the lenient Oliver. Granit must have had a nose bleed being in the chavs’ six yard box but there he was, at a ridiculous altitude at precisely the right moment; almost as if it was pre-ordained. Alexander missed a chance to put the game to bed which, being kind, was probably harder than it looked. No major scares in the last ten minutes – job done, off to Wembley.

Ratings

Ospina – Busy Doing Nothing – 2 shots on target for the chavs didn’t leave our Colombian much to do ….7

Monreal – Pinball Wizard – Magnificent commitment throughout, his goal came at exactly the right moment ….9

Mustafi –  Working in the Coal Mine – always tries hard, improved as the game went on….8

Koscielny – Leader of the Pack – seemed to be fighting his injuries even more than usual but still imperious  ….8

Bellerin – The Way You Look Tonight – quiet, didn’t do much at all ….6

Xhaka – Road to Nowhere – summed up Arsenal’s performance, chaotic but Johnny-on-the-spot ….6

Wilshere – Push It – barely got a touch in the first half, an inspiration in the second ….7

Elneny –  Nowhere to Run – covered every blade at the apex of the upside down midfield triangle ….8

Iwobi  – Back Door Man – most tackles, most misplaced passes, bizarre  ….7

Ozil – Pretty Beat Up – the man with the weave decided kicking him was the only way to lessen his impact ….7

Lacazette – So Lonely – even less support than normal with the dog-botherer gone and an extra body in midfield ….7