No to a celebrity Manager at Arsenal

 

Let me have a stab in the dark here. There will be cries, or more probably crying, for a Manager who still has a team in the Champions League, after all, you can only be a winner in the here and now. It’s the nature of short termism, but hang on, things get worse.

I smell something fishy. Well, to be more precise, the pong of John Paul Gautier’s “Homme”, or whatever his latest odour is called. It’s the whiff of the ponce.

We live in the Era of the Celebrity, and to fit the bill, even a football manager must have the necessary accoutrements, for increasingly he is becoming a fashion accessory. Take a gander at the new breed, the in-set, and it must be more than coincidence they share the same stylist as well as perfumer.

Klopp, Jose, Pep and Conte. It’s all about the hair, the teeth, the slim fit suit, tight continental underwear and designer stubble. What a bunch of complete ponces.

Oh, and what about all the touchline hysteria. The “Ooooo look how much I care”. Oh shut up and stick your passion up your arse. We don’t care. We bleed our club, not you. Grow up.

Honestly, all that leaping up and down, over animated pre-school level play acting, tearing around the touchline waving yer little handbag in the air like an over excited little girl, hugging everyone. It’s pathetic.

Recently I’ve watched a few games involving the aforementioned “look at me, look at me, look at me” managers, and they all make me sick. Big girls’ blouses the lot of you. I wouldn’t have your sort within 100 miles of The Arsenal.

We’re somewhat more reserved than that at Arsenal. You know, keep it zipped up rather than leaving it all hanging out. Your type are for the needy selfie generation.

I sincerely hope that Arsenal recognize the need for style and dignity as and when appointing the new face of our club.

 

 

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30 Responses to No to a celebrity Manager at Arsenal

  1. Big Raddy says:

    Excellent.

    I blame Me-rinho and his “I won 3 titles at Chelsea, not the players”. He started all this nonsense of the celebrity manager. Bertie Mee would have been appalled.

    I also blame Margaret Thatcher, who was a ponce of the first order.

  2. maxcat says:

    Absolutely love it. Could not agree more.

  3. profviews says:

    I am totally on the same wave length with you. The theatrics from managers is appalling

  4. Eddie says:

    ooh, I must be the only one to like it, I think they are hilarious and often the only talking point of yet another boring game.

  5. GunnerN5 says:

    Raddy,

    You have just created the next “reality” TV show.

    Celebrity Football Manager.

    In order to pass the show audition the contestants will be judged on various aspects of management.

    I’ll start the list off;

    Touch line Two Step.
    Theatrical post game Interview,
    Zipping prowess.
    Fourth official abuse.
    Responsibility deflection.
    Reaction to goals for.
    Reaction to goals against.
    Width of mouth when screaming.

  6. GoonerB says:

    Thanks Micky. Came across as a great rant and I had a mental picture of you proof reading this back all shouty and hysterical like, waving your arms about in the air in a meaningless fashion. You do have nice hair and teeth as well Micky 🙂

    I agree with Raddy, I blame Me-rinho……and the far left. With all of these managers there is an undercurrent of injustice at every turn and a feeling of imminent revolutionary uprising. Maggie would have sorted them out 🙂

    Allegri still looks to tick a lot of the boxes for me. Not too poncy or shouty but seems to have his team play with steely resolve all the same.

  7. GoonerB says:

    Great post yesterday GN5, sorry I wasn’t about. Keep them coming. Kinnaird is all the more impressive once you realise he was also a child time traveller. Captaining the Cheam school team in 1959 at the age of twelve. He did get about a bit 🙂

  8. chas mobile says:

    Superb stuff, Micky.

    I think you’ve hit upon the reason for all that prancing about and gesticulation.
    I made the mistake of buying some of that tight continental underwear and found it very hard to stay still for longer than a couple of seconds.

    Definitely need someone with a bit of gravitas.

  9. chas mobile says:

    BR

    I was looking back at the earlier morning comments at marking 10 o’clock tea break.
    I read out your Rita Haworth ex-wife comment to the assembled at the bike shed to universal approval. 😅

  10. RC78 says:

    For me, the new manager needs:
    – To understand AFC’s football culture and fans;
    – To make us win trophies;
    – To know the EPL ideally;
    – To have attraction power for rising and confirmed talents.

    To be honest, I would be open to having Pelligrini as our coach if he were seconded by a former Arsenal player (Vieira, Bergkamp, Overmars, Ljunberg).

    I think he would be a logical and natural choice to also ease in a former Arsenal player into the role after 2-3 years. His demeanor is ok and he has the experience of big clubs. He could maybe even tempt Aguero away from City if AFC plays CL footie. I like his team’s football as well – quite offensive but yet balanced. He likes the 4-4-2 formation (either as a 4-3-1-2 but usually with a classic 4-4-2 with two wingers) and this was traditionally our best formation in the last 20 years so it might be nice to get back to the good old days – this would require some squad tweaking, namely:

    – Buy a new CB to support Kos – Bonucci
    – Buy 2 new LB – R. Rodriguez and ?
    – Buy a new DM – A. Vidal
    – Buy a new CM that can play across the mid – Sissoko
    – Buy 2 new AM – D. Merteens and R. Barkley
    – Buy a new CF – Aguero

    Cech – Bellerin, BONUCCI, Kos, RODRIGUEZ – Oxlade, Ramsey, VIDAL, MERTEENS – Sanchez, Aguero

    Ospina – Mustafi, BFG, Monreal, RECRUIT – SISSOKO, Xhaka, El Neny – Walcott, Wellbeck, BARKLEY

    This is what I would do if Pellegrino joined – I think he can bring these players to our squad.

    It think the squad would be balanced and we would need to cash in on all non-mentioned players…including Ozil, Cazorla, Coquelin, Chambers, Debuchy, Iwobi, Lucas….

  11. RC78 says:

    However if Pelligrini does not join, I am very much favoring a 3-5-2 formation…

  12. RC78 says:

    Imagine an attack Sanchez-Aguero – this would drive defenses bonkers 🙂

  13. GoonerB says:

    Plagiarism RC, pure plagiarism. I suggested a 3-5-2 (ish) formation with Sanchez and Aguero up top a few weeks back and was met with rolling eyes and large sighs. Still, that was me You on the other hand RC will probably be labelled a tactical genius for suggesting it 🙂

  14. Big Raddy says:

    RC. Pellegrini is a good idea, a proper gentleman.

    chas. the bike shed 😀 😀

  15. GunnerN5 says:

    We can now confirm that The Emirates FA Cup Semi Final fixture will be played at Wembley Stadium as under:
    Arsenal v Manchester City
    Sunday 23rd April 2017
    Kick Off: 3.00pm
    Live on: BT Sport One

    We are still awaiting confirmation from the Premier League on when our matches versus Southampton, Leicester City and Sunderland will be played.

  16. chas says:

  17. Completely agree with your hypothesis Micky, bunch of tarts, especially Mourinio who is a danger to multiculturalism.

    Arsenal is a Club for those who wish to better themselves. You have more chance of going to University, avoiding the need to sell scrap metal, and have a healthy body mass index if you follow the Arsenal. If you support Totnumb, your in danger of living in Harlow.

    We need a manager who has class.

    I don’t want a Conte, a man who believes he is peforming an Italian theatre production about a bloke who just because he’s skint can’t get a bird, or a Klopp type who feels he has to act like an arse to prove Germans are “groovy baby”

    The nationality is not important, what is however is acting with dignity and humility.

  18. chas says:

  19. Eddie says:

    and about Mourinho from my favourite pikey

  20. Big Raddy says:

    “If you support Totnumb, your in danger of living in Harlow.”

    So true

  21. mickydidit89 says:

    Morning

    Are you going Chas?

    Tasty looking CL draw with Juve Barca, and Real Bayern.

  22. mickydidit89 says:

    ha ha love the St Patrick’s Day vid.
    Craic. Crack. Hospital 🙂

  23. Eddie says:

    And Leicester v Atletico. Is it good bye Leicester?

  24. Eddie says:

    micky – remember children who interrupted dad live TV interview? The Phillipino au pair who dragged the kids away was professor Kelly’s wife 🙂 🙂

  25. Eddie says:

    last one from me – Raddy and micky – could you ask your wives if they find Roy Keane handsome? Am I weird or is he very good looking?

    Peaches’ opinion doesn’t count, she has really strange taste in men 🙂 🙂

  26. Eddie says:

    Antonio Conte has hailed the “fantasy” Cesc Fabregas has brought to Chelsea’s pursuit of the Premier League title

    I knew we should have buy him back from Barca. Big, big, big fecking mistake

  27. chas mobile says:

    Sssssssssssssnake

  28. Big Raddy says:

    Morning All,

    Busy busy

    There is a New Post

  29. 1979Gunner says:

    Great opening post.

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