Stevenage 1 Arsenal 0

In the true tradition of Rant Friday, I am going to highlight something entirely trivial that really gets my goat!

Unfortunately the subject of today’s topic will only have been experienced by those who have a sweet tooth and who have been to The Emirates …. the rest of you will have to empathise 🙂

I find watching Arsenal an energy sapping experience and so come half time I’m in need of an energy boost and something to warm the cockles, so I queue up for pretty much the whole 15 minutes to get a drink.

I’m talking about that lip-burningly hot, insipid watery barely flavoured, overpriced excuse for Hot Chocolate they serve up inside the stadium.

I’ve learned that when one of the staff (who do a good impression of someone who only started the job 5 minutes ago without any training) presents you with what they offer as hot chocolate, it is in no condition to drink as the little cocoa powder  (I estimate about a third of that required to produce a decent drink) is solidified at the bottom of the cup.

So next you have to push through the crowd to a side area where there are thin wooden sticks long enough to reach the bottom of the cup.

Give them their due, the cup is full to the brim, so you are pretty much guaranteed to give yourself third degree burns removing the lid. After stirring your faux hot chocolate, it now resembles dirty dishwater and has the faintest hint of chocolate flavouring.

I’m ashamed to say that I was dragged kicking and screaming to watch some small time club under 18  game at lowly Stevenage town the other evening and decided to sample their hot chocolate at half time. It was a revelation and put the Arsenal catering to shame. It was £1 cheaper, just the right temperature to drink, didn’t require stirring  and most importantly tasted of chocolate!!

So Stevenage Borough from Division 2 outclass the mighty Arsenal in the hot chocolate stakes ….. a travesty ……

I’m guessing other who visit The Emirates may have further views on the quality of drinks and food available … feel free to vent your frustration today ….



95 Responses to Stevenage 1 Arsenal 0

  1. GoonerB says:

    Ah so you are a hot chocolate man are you Rasp? I never had you down for that but it explains a lot 🙂

    Thanks for the rant Rasp. If I need to warm the cockles of my heart I tend to go with a beefy drink but not often. I normally partake in my refreshments before and after games, as you well know 🙂 …as such my half time requirements are normally in the guise of an amber nectar top up.

    The bit that resonates with me most is the time queuing. You are not a good fan apparently if you leave your seat before the half time whistle or if you arrive back late. However to arrive back on time you have to leave before the half time whistle or if you stay till the half time whistle you arrive back late. One seemingly can’t have both The club really haven’t sorted that one out even after all this time have they, so good rant in my opinion.

  2. Rasp says:

    Hi GB, I guess the whole of the inner perimeter ring at The Emirates is taken up with food kiosks, loos and betting booths so its hard to see how they could have incorporated more.

    Like you say, the queue for food and the queue for the toilets can take up all of the half time break. One improvement they could make is to put more hand driers in the toilets. I estimate there is about 1 drier for every latrine – I guess they don’t want guys to block the in and out routes – not very hygienic 😦

  3. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Oh Dear Lord, I’m off.
    The sausages, they’re German!!!!
    Sure, the Germans managed to hoodwink the entire US of A into thinking a length of rubbery gristle constituted a sausage, and fair play to them for that, but the sausage is an art form, and the mighty british banger remains king

    I do have a suggestion. Switch to Bovril. It’s sold from little wheely style counters, and the queues are shorter because the hot chocolate is sold in the same area as the sausages which is where the fatties in their very tight XXL replica shirts are also

  4. MickyDidIt89 says:

    The solution is to remove the hand driers altogether, and drill the gentlemen into not peeing on their hands in the first place 🙂

    Ah GB
    Another beef bevvy man
    Always remember on the old North Bank fighting your way up to the shed at the back for a drink. Soup of the day was always Bovril, so naturally, we always asked “what is the soup of the day”. Oh how we chuckled

  5. MickyDidIt89 says:

    When I went to watch us in Munich a few years ago, they have a card system. You top it up with cash somewhere, then wave it about a bit when you’ve got your drinks or fat, and hey presto, no buggering about with cash tills, and pin numbers.

    Its why I do like the Germans 🙂


    Cheers Rasp

    I had a hot chocolate at the Newcastle game. I was very disappointed with its weakness and lack of texture, but it was only when I had reached the end of consumption of said beverage that i made a remarkable discovery. Most of the hot chocolate had actually settled at the bottom of plastic container, creating a very globules mass of chocolate.

    The only conclusion possible is that it is not the ingredients per se that cause disappointment, but rather the stirring instrument, in other words that twig like implement which resembles an accessory for a self examination kit that those with irregular bowel movement dread receiving from there local hospital.

    Upon this discovery, I entered a state of confusion? Was the stirring implement really Arsenals way of saying that one must have more Bran in ones diet, or were they just tight Bastards?

    Needing to know the answer I re approached the serving wench and held up the stirrer and said “This device? Its not sufficient to create a harmonious combination of chocolate and water so I need to know whether this is due to the Clubs tightness, or do I need to take this home with me and perform an unseemly rectal examination?”

    By the end of the conversation, the serving wench, backed up by her colleagues, made it quite clear, though using language not fitting for this site, what I should do with the implement, so took it home and performed the examination.

    I should get the results back from the GP by the end of next week.

  7. mickydidit89 says:

    Ha ha ha
    Only Transplant could unearth the proper use of said stick

    I reverse my decision on the hand tiers and from here forwards will wash me digits before and after bobtail stirring

  8. Rasp says:

    A very poetic reply TMHT 🙂
    I mentioned the settlement problem in the post. Unstirred you get a container of scalding hot water, stirred you get a very weak drink – they need to put more chocolate in and stir it for you before sealing with a lid!!!

  9. mickydidit89 says:

    That did not transmit properly
    I’m on mobile and it ain’t too bright

  10. mickydidit89 says:

    How does Bovril become bobtail when an apple device gets involved

    I’m not surprised Mr Microsoft is richer than Mr Apple

  11. Nice rant Rasp… but I always wonder why anyone would put themselves through that at half time! Why bother if you get overpriced below par products. Take a hip flask and stay in your seat mate, and why any bloke can’t wait 90 + minutes for a piss baffles me.

    My only disappointment in the post is that you decided to have a go at the serving staff, who are probably on the minimum wage or less, confronted with aggressive blokes who have been in line for ages and want their drink ‘Now’. You may be a manager or whatever of a business but some people have to take what they can get and it’s not their fault that the product is not up to standard, that’;s down to the caterering company who are probably earning a smal fortune.

    I bet you didn’t have to queue for long at Stevenage FC. :-).

  12. VCC says:

    Didit 1:01….turn the light on buddy….or is there no one at home. lol. :-|)

  13. Rasp says:

    Thanks NB, I manage a business where more than half the staff are on minimum wage (not of my choosing). I blame the management and the lack of training, not the individuals themselves.

    I have to say that I have never witnessed any unpleasantness towards the staff but I suppose it must happen once in a while. The serving staff have my sympathy, I’ve worked on their side of the fence most of my life.

  14. Gööner In Exile says:

    Best Hot Chocolate I have sampled is from Tatums Cafe in Portscatho.

    Hot chocolate powder stirred with milk then finished off with hot water. Bloody awesome and worth the trip.

    As for food and drinks at the Emirates I can honestly say I have never bothered to queue for it so wouldn’t have a clue.

    But your post did remind me to do something…..get out and support my local non league football clubs.

  15. chas says:

    Thanks, Rasp.

    I haven’t any real sympathy with anyone queuing for refreshments at the Ems.

    My gripe is with the toilet design. Why put the cubicles closest to the exit and cause those with small doo-dahs to block said entrances by queuing to have a wee in private? It’s madness.
    Have the sitty-downie facilities in a different area entirely allowing all walls (in the toilets, I hasten to add) to be used for urination.

    As for mr Frenchie La fitte who only drinks red wine or spirits, you try having a gallon of beer two hours before a game and then not breaking the seal for the whole 90 minutes. Not possible.

  16. MickyDidIt89 says:

    “breaking the seal” ROLF

  17. kelsey says:

    Right this is the deal straight from a sourse that cannot be trusted.

    If we win the league this season, Wenger leaves and Pep comes to us. It is nailed on despite City flashing the cash. It makes sense as we try and play the way Pepo made Barca do and the rest is history.We have enough money to supplement the squad, you know it makes sense.

  18. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Yes, terrific and marvellous Crystals

    Thing is, has Pep said “Get that big pea now”, because if he hasn’t, then he can sod off in my book 🙂

  19. Micky

    The Big Pierre has stated today that he won;t be leaving Dortmund in the near future

  20. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Seriously NB?

    That is very very bad news. If I have to watch Ollie as the focus of our push to the title come the end of the window, then I’ll quit and….err..umm

  21. kelsey says:

    2015 The Ox. No goals and no assists so by my conclusion he fits in ideally with Wenger’s philosophy 😉

  22. kelsey says:

    Ye of little faith 😉

  23. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Goals win titles Crystals. Fact 🙂

    Oh, and I want to go to some games, and I moan like hell if I don’t see three goals. At least.

  24. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Come on Crystals, be honest here, how depressed were you when reading the goss that we were about to sign someone called Troy from Watford?

    Tell you what, I read that particular bit of news in the morning, and my boiled eggs were ruined.

  25. MickyDidIt89 says:

    I’m going for the Lamb Achari, Saag Paneer, Garlic Mushrooms, Raita and Naan. So there.

  26. kelsey says:

    I have just ordered an Indian as well. King Prawn madras extra hot, chicken tikka and garlic nan. About 3000 calories.

  27. chas says:

    5 players have scored more League goals this season than the FP.

    Can you name them without googling and would you have them at Arsenal?

  28. Gööner In Exile says:

    Guessing as requested:


    I’m struggling on a 5th

    Ok total guess –

  29. Gööner In Exile says:

    Ok just googled 4 out of 5

    The one I didn’t get is also a no he was hot and cold journeyman before arriving with current club and has hit two seasons of wonder form.

  30. RockyLives says:

    Great Post Rasp – gave me a good laugh. All true, as well!

    I hate queueing up for anything at half time at the Ems. It’s not worth missing the first five minutes of the second half for a five quid cuppa that tastes like consommé de leper’s dandruff.

    Given the wealth of the club, the whole catering experience is woeful.

    I go to a lot of North American sport now that I live on the wrong side of the pond and the experience is completely different. Whether it’s NBA, Ice Hockey, “Soccer”, Baseball, the stadiums have more variety of food and drink options, lots more concessions, shorter queues and much better service.

    Still costs an arm and a leg though.

  31. Rasp says:

    Hi Rocky, it was just a little space filler to lead to the main event tomorrow 🙂 I’m surprised no one asked me why I keep buying the stuff when I’m always disappointed – good question 😕

    I’m going tomorrow so I may just take along a little pouch of my own hot chocolate powder and ask them to add it to the cup …. on the other hand a hip flask with a mixture of port and brandy will probably be more fortifying on a cold windy afternoon.

  32. LB says:

    “Tomas Rosicky is not far, he’s back in full training next week, so should be available soon.” (Arsene Wenger)

    Yay, Super Tom is close to returning.

  33. LB says:

    Well done Rasp for coming up with an idea. Difficult for me to comment as I wouldn’t dream of buying anything in the ground. The only thing I buy is an espresso just after I lock my bike up and drink it on the way to the ground.

    Underneath Chas’ humorous comment up there is a clever observation of the design flaw that exists in the men’s lavs.

  34. chas says:

  35. chas says:

  36. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Cup Good Morning All

  37. MickyDidIt89 says:

    When I was growing up, the FAC was a much bigger deal than the League

    So, if we pretend that is still the case, then The Arsenal are brilliant because we won it the last two times

  38. VCC says:

    Second live game this season………fingers crossed The Mighty Arsenal send me home a happy bunny.


  39. MickyDidIt89 says:

    My money says Crystals had a post indian take-away heart attack

    Anyway, back to transfer news 🙂

  40. chas says:

    How was your saggy paneer?
    Garlic mushrooms?

  41. chas says:

  42. Big Raddy says:

    Good morning,

    Sorry but I cannot write a pre-match. Technical and geographical difficulties.


  43. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Garlic mushrooms a waste of time
    Saggy Paneer superb
    Lamb Something or other may have been camel something or other as it was so hot you would never know the difference

    All in all, good news, and at least I’m not dead

  44. MickyDidIt89 says:


    You lazy good for nothing unreliable bloody leftie hippy beetles loving complete and utter lazy good for nothing unreliable bloody leftie hippy lazy good for nothing unreliable bloody leftie hippy

    ps have a nice day 🙂

  45. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Ring of Fire ha ha ha

  46. kelsey says:

    Is Ospina in goal ? Hope not. Cech should play,keepers don’t get tired and he is in good form.

    Chambers is a cert.Gabriel also. Not sure about Debuchy or has he left with Eddie and Red Arse.

    So the mighty Liverpool’s second string just managed a draw at Exeter.

  47. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Oh, ok so you’re alive 🙂

    Why would he think about dropping Cech anyway?

  48. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Arsene would be nuts not to start without our First XI, at least the midfield and attack

    He can rotate in the back four only I think

  49. kelsey says:

    1 Watford or Newcastle United

    2 West Bromwich Albion of Bristol City

    3 West Ham United or Wolverhampton Wanderers

    4 Hartlepool United or Derby County

    5 Exeter City or Liverpool

    6 Tottenham Hotspur or Leicester City

    7 Colchester United or Charlton Athletic

    8 Peterborough United or Preston North End

    9 Northampton Town or Milton Keynes Dons

    10 Arsenal or Sunderland

    11 Newport County or Blackburn Rovers

    12 Ipswich Town or Portsmouth

    13 Birmingham City or AFC Bournemouth

    14 Wycombe Wanderers or Aston Villa

    15 Sheffield Wednesday or Fulham

    16 Oxford United or Swansea City

    17 Brentford or Walsall

    18 Bury or Bradford City

    19 Manchester United or Sheffield United

    20 Everton or Dagenham & Redbridge

    21 Southampton or Crystal Palace

    22 Eastleigh or Bolton Wanderers

    23 Nottingham Forest or Queens Park Rangers

    24 Carlisle United or Yeovil Town

    25 Chelsea or Scunthorpe United

    26 Doncaster Rovers or Stoke City

    27 Leeds United or Rotherham United

    28 Cardiff City or Shrewsbury Town

    29 Huddersfield Town or Reading

    30 Middlesbrough or Burnley

    31 Norwich City or Manchester City

    32 Hull City or Brighton & Hove Albion

    4th round draw numbers so we get ?

  50. kelsey says:

    Now I am in moderatiom, oh dear.

  51. Morning all

    So the Viking is off on some raid somewhere to rape and pillage 🙂

    and we’re left without a PM BOOOO !

    Rasp…. see, my idea for a hip flask may be a good’un 🙂

    Fun bucker = Ring of Fire ha ha

  52. VCC says:

    Hi Kelsey. Ive a hunch he will play Ospina today.

    I personally would like to see Rene get a run out and maybe Iwobi too.

    I’ll give them a shout for you.

  53. Rasp says:

    Morning all, I don’t suppose anyone else fancies penning a few words to prepare us for the game today?

  54. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Oh don’t you start moaning now Crystals
    You should be celebrating life after your two pronged attack of double indian 🙂

  55. MickyDidIt89 says:

    I really don’t want to on the grounds I think it will make me cross, and I don’t want to send out negative vibrations

    What I mean is, I would be in the minority in thinking the FAC is our best chance of silverware, and we should thus start a full strength team

    I’d also add, that three FAC’s on the trot would be epic

  56. VCC says:

    Didit……If you had a choice….what would you choose. Winning the FA Cup or EPL this season?

  57. kelsey says:

    I think you are right VCC because AW likes to keep us on the edge of our seats or behind the sofa and Defoe plays I think.
    I would play our strongest side get the two or three goal start and then defend for an hour.

  58. Ant says:

  59. Ant says:

  60. Ant says:

    We’re on the train, we are Ron’s 22..

  61. Duck says:

    Whistle’s blown and they’re off!

  62. MickyDidIt89 says:

    League for sure
    I just don’t think we’ll win it as City will be too strong, however, the FAC would be fantastic

  63. Ant says:

  64. Ant says:

    This time.. More than any other time..this time

  65. MickyDidIt89 says:

    All is well with a fizzy drink and a savoury snack

  66. Ant says:

    If Micky was Arsenal manager we would be in the Conference in no time

  67. Ant says:

    We are on Prosecco and prawn vol au vents today

  68. Ant says:

  69. ha ha ha that ‘Cum integra genitalibus’ is quite a mouthful

  70. Ant says:

    We’re gonna find a way..

  71. Duck says:

    If Micky was Arsenal manager we’d be Leeds in two years.

  72. Morning all

    Just popped in to read the pre-match to find a big zilch. Does anyone want to pen a few words …………….. is anyone penning a few words and I’ve missed the comment?

  73. Rasp says:

    Come on guys, surely someone can just write a paragraph … look at the header for inspiration 🙂

    Here’s why I don’t fancy it ……

    I hardly got any sleep last night as the feral cat that sneaked into my house decided to live under my bed. I was trying to gently coax it out at about midnight and was stroking its ears when it attacked my hand and drew blood in several places 😦

    I’m allergic to cats and so I had an instant reaction, my hand itched like hell and swelled up and then I had an asthma attack. I had to take antihistamines and use my puffer but the itching kept me up most of the night …… you can see why I prefer dogs now 🙂

  74. oooops just seen that Rasp already asked ……..

  75. Duck says:

    Use a broom and gently move the cat out of the house.
    Sounds horrid.

  76. Duck says:

    Rasp and Peaches
    We’ll have a go.
    Might take 20 minutes

  77. Ant says:

    I didn’t know there were feral cats in suburbia

  78. Rasp says:

    Duck, this thing was really wild, running up the walls, completely out of control. It had no collar and no means of grabbing hold. I think it belongs to some new people who have moved in down the road. Apparently they have 4 and they are all pretty wild and spend their time killing the birds in our gardens …. such a waste of life, I don’t mind when the birds of prey take mice and voles etc, that’s the natural way but cats killing for fun just goes to prove that they are still basically wild in nature.

  79. Rasp says:

    I don’t live in suburbia, I’m out in the sticks, we have more badgers and deer than squirrels and cats.

  80. Thanks Ant and Duck …………. can you post from your ‘telephone device’ or do you want to email it and I’ll put it up? Just text me when you email it if that’s what you’re going to do.

  81. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Bloody raining. Again 😦

    An Ant ‘n Duck PM

    This could be what all these years of AA have been building towards

  82. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Can we laugh at your plight?
    Superb images coming to mind 🙂
    ps what the hell do you think the conveniently long tails are for?

  83. Ant says:

    New post we hope!

  84. Duck says:

    New post

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: