Forty minutes ago I had my six quid at the ready and was waiting patiently for a trim at Ian’s Hair.
I grabbed The Daily Mirror, and worked my way in from the back looking for important news. Page 60, and bingo. “Sanchez wants to raise the Bar” the headline bellowed. I pressed on, and could hear nothing but sweet music. “Alexis Sanchez believes Arsenal underachieved…” it began. I was in my element and lapping up every word. Again, I pushed on. “It was an ok season” our Ace proclaimed, following which the piece rambled on a bit before reaching an almighty and deeply satisfying climax, “If I am put in to play centre-forward for Arsenal, I will do it in the best possible way”. Oh Dear Lord, was that as good for you as it was for me?
Early last season, we’d line up with Mesut on the left, Alexis on the right, sandwiching Danny in the middle. At that point Arsene announced that as soon as Theo was back up to speed, Alexis would move central. “Halleluja” I chimed. The Boss did have a clear vision when he lodged the 40M+1 pound bid for Suarez, and it was a fast, fluid and incisive front three.
Then things went wrong. Well, wrong’ish.
When I say “wong’ish”, what I mean is that Sanchez shifting right across to the left flank turned out well’ish because a). like all very good footballers they will be good footballers anywhere, and b). Mesut slithered into the No10 role, where has looked so much happier, while also being far more effective (and will hopefully cost me a fish).
So. Job half done
With the evidence presented at Ian’s Hair, I am convinced the final piece to The Master Plan is a very expensive Left Winger.
Any thoughts on who that could be? I asked Ian, but Ian doesn’t like football.