Is Olivier Giroud just too handsome for his own good?

Whilst listening to Football Weekly from Monday the discussion turned to whether players with distinct features stand out more and whether that makes us reflect better on them because they were more memorable. The general consensus was that if you stand out from average in appearance whether through haircut (Chamakh, David Luiz), or boot choice (Bendtner pink boots) or hair colour (Ginger, Blond etc) then you will be judged in harsher terms. If Luiz had a short back and sides he would just be an average footballer, but as he is begging to be noticed he attracts rather more attention and it ranges from “he is superb” to “he is a liability”. Compare to say Phil Jones, less talented but as a player who fell out of the ugly tree and got entangled with every ugly stick on the way down he doesn’t appear to be judged as harshly.

Naturally as any football fan does we start applying to our own team, Giroud sprang to mind instantly, he sticks out like the proverbial sore thumb. Let’s be honest if us blokes looked like him our wives and girlfriends would be very happy, unfortunately for them if we looked like him they wouldn’t be our wives and girlfriends.

Having watched some of the Champions League this week and a lot of Premier League football I am struck by how much criticism seems to come from the blogs and pundits as I see plenty of other players in this position who are as good or even worse than Ollie but don’t appear to come in for the same stick.

So is it just jealousy, Kane has had lots of plaudits as has Costa, both scoring many goals, but so has Giroud and where have his plaudits been? The boy is to handsome for his own good, I reckon for his own benefit he should get Koscielny or more likely Gabriel to give him a couple of headbutts in training to get his nose into a more Steve Bruce like shape, maybe then he will stop being judged on his looks and football and just his football.

Finally Henry weighed in, perhaps he is worried that he has been replaced in the hearts of Arsenal fans by a man who may not have va va voom but probably provides plenty of ba ba boom.

Gooner in Exile

Costa 1958 minutes 19 goals (103 minutes per goal)
Kane 2407 minutes 20 goals (120minutes per goal)
Giroud 1666 minutes 14 goals (119 minutes per goal)


59 Responses to Is Olivier Giroud just too handsome for his own good?

  1. GunnerN5 says:

    GunnerN5 says:
    May 15, 2015 at 2:17 pm

    What are folks thoughts on having some fill in summer posts based on our various travel stories? I’m sure that many of us have some great tales to tell. I would be happy to write a few, and some of you could write about your away game experiences.

    I would imagine that Raddy, Eddie, Chas, Micky, RA, GIE and Norfolk to name but a few of us would have some great yarns.


  2. GunnerN5 says:

    Hi GIE, very humorous.

    The fact is a simple one – he is an Arsenal player and therefore must be subjected to idle criticism – it goes with the territory.

    I like Giroud and I maintain that his off the ball work is a vitally important ingredient in our success or failure, but I still feel that we need a predator up front.

  3. franck says:

    I like Ollie and i rate him so highly…i wonder why any striker is good except he is an Arsenal strike attitude of pundits.i pay no attention to them.

  4. chas says:

    Heehee, GIE.
    I hope Mrs Exile gets to read this post. 🙂

    Here are Ollie’s stats from FIFA 14.
    I’m sure Micky would agree with 35 for Balance; not sure if 97 for Finishing would get the same approval. 🙂

    I reckon his beak could do with a little ‘Bruceing’ up as well.

  5. chas says:

    As in Steve rather than Forsythe.

  6. chas says:

    Talking of stunners, 8 and a half minutes of some right bangers.

  7. chas says:

    Best match review of Monday’s game I’ve seen.

  8. RA says:


    Not sure how to respond to that Post.

    I suppose it holds anyone who answers, in anyway, as a hostage to fortune as it falls into the ‘have you stopped beating your wife’ category – in other words – to say yes, or no, says more about the responder than the author of the question. 🙂

    Well for what it is worth, I have never thought about Giro’s handsome quotient, even for a second until you posed this question.

    As an oblique aside, I once lusted after a truly beautiful and very feminine female, but quickly found she did not have that ‘sexual chemistry’ that is so necessary – OK, that is for most of us, and I excuse our Terry from that. He once met a girl who told him, ‘I like you, but I am a good girl and only take a Coke with ice’ and then he went round with his dangler in a glass filled with ice cubes until GLIC told him he had misheard ‘Coke’. What can you say about that boy? 🙂

    On the other hand, I was inexplicably drawn to a plump, very plain, ‘mumsy’ looking girl who oozed sex appeal, and was really bugged when she dated someone else.

    So, Exile, if you are right, and Giro is handsome, which I do not, then he must fall into the first case – because I am afraid he lacks ‘sexual chemistry’ and needs to score more — goals that is. 🙂

    Has your Mrs Exile read your article? What does she think of you saying that if you were ‘Giro Handsome’ she would not be your Mrs?

    Eh, Caramba, Exile, you be in beeeg trouble, my friend!! 😀

  9. GunnerN5 says:

    RA, maybe if she does read it he really would become exiled!

  10. RA says:

    That’s true, GN5 – what fun – maybe he could write about it on a quiet day on AA.

    As to your question regarding writing non-football stories about adventures and escapades during the close season – I am all for it – especially your experiences in Canada, and Terry’s misadventures in the pursuit of lubricious lurve!! 🙂

  11. RA says:

    Am I correct in detecting a change of AA policy regarding using adverts?

    I am not against it – none of my business in truth – and I suspect that Rasper and Peaches have up until now paid whatever WordPress charge out of their own pockets.

    Can someone let us know? 🙂

  12. RA says:

    Got to go – I am going to make myself look a total drongo playing competitive games on PS4.

    OK, for those of an observant mien, I admit that I AM a drongo! 😀

    Good night, to all three of you!!

  13. fatgingergooner says:

    No Rooney on Sunday and Van Persie is fit. Great news! 😄

  14. The Cockie Monster says:

    Nice one Exile !…….Is he really much to look at ?……..I suppose compared to Costa, (whose mum sticks his photo on a Ouija board to scare the ghosts away ) he is !………. lets ask the AA girls !……..and no dribbling on the lap top or licking it !…..try to control yourself`s !. 😀

  15. Horny says:

    Gooner in exiled where are you exiled, in an asylum?

    Utter drivel and pointless post.

    Please bin me as i am ashamed of myself for writing on this comical blog

  16. Gööner In Exile says:

    Ask yourself a question about where those veins go

  17. Gööner In Exile says:

    I just got punched!


    Nice one GIE

    I dont think its Girouds looks that makes pundits question him. I like big Oli buts its more likely a lack of speed, skill, and the fact that hes a victim of racial bigamy.

    Lets face it, when a little man falls over were all like “get up son, dont worry about it”, but when a six foot three geezer winces in agony its more “get up you great big puff”.

    Indeed, I feel sorry for tall, well built men. The heniousness of racial bigamy means even if they have a boil on there arse the size of Sam Allidyces head, there still expected to sit down and pretend there enjoying conversation with the mother in law.

    Of course, been a weed, i have no such problems. In fact I fall over in the street on purpose in the hope that some one will caress me. If ime lucky its a fit bird, if unlucky, its a geezer whos been up in court for installing sneaky cameras in mens changing rooms.

    To be honest, if I looked like Giroud it would make no diffrence to my ex wives. Stuck on a desert island with them two and an ugly bastard like David Pleat, then every night Pleat would be enjoying a threesome, and worst of all he wouldnt even have to pay for it.

    On Girouds looks, I have noticed a lot of these good looking French men have big noses. Giroud, Ginola, Depardieu etc.

    I to have a big nose. But unlike the aqualine beak of a Giroud, mine unfortunately is more like Walter Mathieu. Thats why round these parts I am know as the Odd Bubble.

    The Ghosts of the Thirties are Stirring.

  19. chas says:

  20. chas says:

    “The table is notoriously inaccurate because there’s just way more randomness than people understand,” Benham explains. “One of the best examples is over halfway through the season in Germany, Dortmund were bottom of the league. We actually still made them the second-best team in Germany. They were just horrifically unlucky. Usually the way the fans and especially the media look at it, randomness is quite an unsatisfactory explanation, so they like to look for stories and a narrative. But very often randomness is the main explanation.”

  21. GoonerB says:

    Sorry for being “unaround” for the last few days. Thanks to GN5 for his great Ontario read, that I have just read.

    Great post GIE and very humerous. I would keep the wife if I looked like Giroud but I think I would just have more of them in my harem.

    Where Ollie is concerned I don’t think I have really changed my stance since last summer. He has improved this season but I still think he is a second choice striker at the level we are now aiming for (competing for the ECL and EPL title).

    I don’t think any of Chavs, Citeh, Bayern, Barca or Real would swap Ollie for their current strikers, which for me tends to indicate he is a level or so below them and we need something of that level if we want to stand toe to toe on a more equal footing with these sides.

    I see Ollies role (in the future) as being our Solskjaer. He had a great career as a second choice striker at Utd, achieving cult status, and probably wouldn’t swap this career for more playing time at a smaller club. Why not the same for Ollie. I don’t feel I am being spitefully critical of Ollie, having always said I like him and recognise his value to the team, but more that I feel I am being realistic about what he can and can’t offer us.

    It is more an objective assessment that results in a personal conclusion that “He is good enough as a back up striker in the squad, and will contribute to any success we have, but is not good enough to be a first choice number 9 at any club that wants to win the big prizes. Hey though, I may be completely wrong but that is just how I see it. Henry saw it this way and many didn’t like him expressing it, but I don’t think he was being mean in any way and is he actually wrong in this view?

    Some fans, pundits, media e.t.c seem to unfairly criticise but many (in my eyes) just provide an objective assessment of his ability.

    In reference to unfair criticism, in many ways I think Ollie has had an easier ride than many players. I have often wondered why he gets the (hey Jude) song sung at the ground when he has almost scored a goal that he perhaps could or should have scored, and also maybe one that another striker would put away.

    I am all one for supporting the player and that is a nice touch from a crowd that has become more spikey towards the smallest mistakes of players recently, but in many ways I think he has had an easier ride from the Arsenal faithful in this sense than other players. Some of the “almost scored” failed converted chances from Ollie that result in his song seem to result in a very different crowd reaction when it is Theo that has missed a chance he could have buried.

    On another note I am a tad worried how Cockie came to be in possession of that photo of me above.

  22. GoonerB says:

    Sorry, I meant Chas’s at 6.40, my mistake.

  23. RA says:


    Are you inferring that our Chas is a bit Cockie?

  24. GoonerB says:

    Far from it RA, more that cockie is a bit of a chas, or maybe a shaz.

  25. There’s nothing wrong with a handsome footballer and I’d much prefer that we had the most handsome footballers in our team. Obviously sometimes we have to look to their talent before their looks and we end up with a Gabriel for example but I expect his mum thinks he’s gorgeous 😉

    I cannot get excited over handsome men that play for other teams which I reckon is a good thing no?

    Giroud may not be the poacher we would all like but he puts in a great shift and has scored some very pretty goals as well as some down right ordinary ones. As he is so handsome I find I can forgive him for the times he just misses too many chances to win us the game.

    Hopefully tomorrow he’ll fill his boots and help us stuff those dirty manks.

  26. RA – what did you mean about adverts?

  27. Heard a bit of gossip today about Jonker and his team moving from our academy to join up with van Gaal and manage the Man U academy ………. soon.

  28. chas says:

  29. Gööner In Exile says:

    Only if Van Gaal stays Peaches……which isn’t a given.

  30. chas says:

    Judging by the Academy results this season, he won’t be a big loss.

    Of course, if he stays, you have to allow him one season to bed in.

    Win win. 🙂

  31. chas says:

  32. Gööner In Exile says:

    I think Jonkers job is a root and branch overhaul, doubt we will see improvement for a few years yet.

    Case in point the £10k we just had to pay Luton Town for a 11 year old school kid.

  33. RA says:

    Hi Peaches,

    (re your 7 p.m. question, last night)

    At the end of Exile’s Post and before the comments, there is a block of what seems to be 4 ‘adverts’ including ‘kitchen must haves’ and ‘coconut oil to change your life’ – or is that just my febrile imagination? 🙂

  34. chas says:

    I think they’re the google ads that come with wordpress, RA.

  35. chas says:

    I don’t see them on Chrome but do on IExplorer.

  36. chas says:

    Big Raddy 1969

  37. RA says:

    They (the ads) have gone now, Chas, thank.

  38. mickydidit89 says:

    No adverts here and I’m on Explorer, but then again, I don’t visit smutty sites and pick up nasty virus and itchy bits :

  39. chas says:

    I suppose playing for a draw would be good for our 3rd place hopes.
    I can’t see Mr Wenger doing anything of the sort, though. 🙂

  40. chas says:

    Guess the famous American when he was a boy……

  41. mickydidit89 says:

    I go into todays game with a hefty dose of doom and pessimism, so won’t be disappointed. Reckon we will only need 4 points from last two anyway to stay ahead of Utd

  42. mickydidit89 says:

    Floyd Merryweather?

  43. chas says:

    Floyd Pissingdownweather

  44. chas says:

    Right, lard to shift.

    Is there a BRPM today?

  45. mickydidit89 says:

    Will be watching from mate’s house, so mobile comms. Not good.

    Enjoy days all

  46. Big Raddy says:

    Morning All,

    A diminutive BR PM will be on site in about an hour. First I have to catch up with the footie and specifically AFC news

    BTW I had a wonderful holiday, thank you.

  47. Is it Sean Penn at the back chas?

  48. mickydidit89 says:

    Shit Raddy
    Please read through ALL the comments, because we did say some nice things about you as well 🙂

  49. mickydidit89 says:

    Oh, alright, did you have a nice holiday?

    ps I’d start with Theo, Jack, Rosicky and Chubby

  50. Eddie says:

    micky – this man lands on a desert island with Angelina jolly. They fall in love, shag 24/7 but he is getting increasingly depressed. Finally one day he askes Angelina to dress like a man and pretend to be a geezer for a day. She loves him and does as requested. They meet on the beach, he charges towards her and shouts happily ‘Man, you won’t believe whom I’ve been shagging’

    no point going of fab holidays if nobody is going to be envious 🙂

    Hi Raddy 🙂

  51. Big Raddy says:

    There is a New Post ….

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