What would the result have been if Mourinho and Wenger swapped places?

There are few things in football on which most of us would agree, but the fact that Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho are polar opposites when it comes to their respective personalities and football ethos is undeniable.

So allow yourself a flight of fantasy, cast aside the thought that most Arsenal supporters can’t abide ‘the chosen one’ and put Mourinho in charge of Arsenal from the start of the last transfer window and Wenger in charge of Chelsea – would the result of yesterday’s game been any different?

Would Arsene have brought in the players to Chelsea that Jose did and vice verse Jose to Arsenal?

Would the teams have set up differently and played differently in yesterday’s derby? Undeniably yes – but would either have been an improvement?

This raises so many questions in terms of style, vision, ruthlessness, class and motivation …. you decide

Written by ‘The Devil’s Advocate’


99 Responses to What would the result have been if Mourinho and Wenger swapped places?

  1. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Advocatus Diaboli, as the Catholics would say.

    Great name, so “who are ya?”

    This is a stonker of a question. Before I get thinking, I would most definitely say I’d never want Maureen anywhere near my club even if it guaranteed three consecutive quadruples.

    I have way too much style 🙂

  2. babakrdaemi says:

    I think on the game alone, given the players both managers had available, maybe Arsenal would have more chance of getting a result with Jose in charge.

    However, Chelsea would be a more attacking side, which would open up the chance to lose the game for them, and thus give an Jose led Chavski its chance to win the win the game.

    However, what happens at Arsenal and Chelsea is completely different.

    I go way of topic here –

    Chelsea only exist to win cups.

    Arsenal has a history and ethos that comes with its progress.

    So although Arsene makes errors and isn’t as efficient in the transfer window as Jose – Jose wouldn’t think twice about any of his players for for his own success.

    Arsene does try and progress Arsenal players, Cesc not coming back is as much about Jack as anybody else in the squad. Thats the sort of thing that handicaps us as a club if you only want cups.

    Teams that chase only success do not develop players as well.

    Real Madrid etc are such big clubs they can do both – and that is what I think Arsene is trying to achieve. Which is proving impossible for him and I believe anyone.

    Its one thing to bring through players at Real or Madrid. A club and country with a history of developing world class players with the money to supplement their weaknesses with the worlds best. Its another when you are doing it from the 2nd tier. Which is where I see us.

    1st tier is:

    UTD, Real, Barca, Munich (and in terms of winning you have to include the oil clubs)

    2nd tier is:

    Arsenal, Dortmund, Juve, Liverpool etc.

    For the 2nd tier clubs to produce players and win is very difficult.

    I believe the club will join the big boys, we will win the CL and we will go back to winning titles, I don’t know if it will be under Wenger, I hope so.

    I think his sacrifice for us 10 years ago deserves the CL.

    For all the comparisions between him and Jose I know one thing.

    Jose would have left us high and dry the year we moved the Grove.

    And for that, I will be forever grateful to Arsene. If even the next three years we stay in the 2nd tier.

    Lets face it, was we in that tier before he arrived?

  3. eldergooner says:

    Mourinho appears to be an odios individual and I can no longer look at nor listen to him and I never want him at Arsenal – but my vote in the poll has to be YES.

    I’m afraid that Arsene appears to have lost his way this past few seasons – standing still as a club. Yes , FA Cup and Community Shield but they’re not what we want – nor what counts .

    As for Ozil !! Never shows in the “big games” – never. Was a ghost yesterday and how he was still on the pitch to the final whistle only Arsene knows. Loyalty is important of course but when do you call time on it in a results based business ? That applies also to Arsene
    That push on Mourinho yesterday – why on earth stoop to his level ? Arsenal – and Arsene – are better than that. Be taking eye goughing lessons next !! Mourinho now has the moral high ground !

    No , never want Mou at Arsenal – but seriously think we do need a change .

  4. Rasp says:

    Great comment baba

  5. RA says:

    I agree with Rasp, Baba, that was a really good comment – not Rasp’s – yours. 🙂

  6. RA says:

    It is easy to forget that Chelsea have spent a billion pounds sterling over the last 10 years, and winning is something they have come to deliver.

    Mourinho definitely would not have stayed at the Arsenal while they were rebuilding, and a time of flux when the ownership changed hands with some acrimony.

    A hypothetical question is one I do not usually entertain, on the basis that there is no answer – whatever the vote, but in this case I did [NO] and I am very interested in hearing the opinion of others.

    Well done Mr Anonymous – maybe Arnie who had problems with Word Press, or maybe the Rasper who is too chicken to take ownership? Sqwakkkk. 🙂

  7. Hi RA,

    You’re barking up the wrong tree and no, it’s not me 🙂

  8. Foolishgooner says:

    Let me start by saying, I’m not anti-anything or anyone. I have my reasons and I love my club. Even though I live for arsenal glory, I’m not willing to sell my soul to the devil for winning. And to simply answer your complicated question, YES Jose M would never allow so many passengers on the bench in squad of Arsenal stature club, let alone Starting eleven! End of it. Jose wouldn’t have bought Ozil (hefty sum) highest amount for a player, when he had Cazorla/Wilshere/Ramsey/ to play the middle, and compromise, defensive balance (height, strength, work rate)! Jose doesn’t expect John Terry to do 3 players jobs on the field (no matter how great he is on what he does) he simply allows his players to excel to their abilities while demanding team work… Look at Hazard and Fab, they simply do what they do, run at players and pick assists. Costa coasts all game and takes his chance with calmness! Matic pushes of the ball likes of Ozil, Wilshere etc. Arsene wenger knows that his team lacks strength, pace, height and most importantly work rate in key areas. He substitutes Cazorla for OX! (We all can see he was tired) because he was competing… Unlike Ozil which he left on the field! Thus effectively not increasing tempo while you chase the game.

  9. RA says:

    Very impressed by Micky’s scholarly knowledge of Latin.
    ‘Advocatus diaboli’ indeed 🙂

    Just remembered that RC78 said he was sending something in this morning. In which case,”Reddite ergo quæ sunt Cæsaris, Cæsari” – render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, or in this case, RC78. 🙂

  10. Norfolk Gooner says:

    I don’t know if the result would have been any different but one thing is for sure, if a player was having a game as bad as Ozil was, Moaniho would have hooked him off as early as half-time.

    I know Wenger is loyal to his players but yesterday he retained that loyalty forty-five minutes too long.

    The game was crying out for some pace from the Arsenal attack, Welbeck was drifting wide and deep, Alexis was getting the rotational fouling and being kicked all over the place and Ozil was sauntering about like a tired tourist in the Victoria and Albert Museum. Terry and Cahill, who are both even slower than Mertesacker, had one of their easiest afternoons, what was needed was The Ox on instead of Ozil, with instructions to run behind the Chav’s defence.

    What did we get? The most effective mid-fielder, Cazorla, taken off thus leaving Ozil to continue his sight-seeing.

    Wenger needs to wake up to the fact that sometimes even the best players can have a bad afternoon and the team would benefit from some early substitutions.

  11. RA says:

    I normally only bark at the full moon, Peaches, but you have a case – I was trying to have a dig at the Rasper Man to draw him out. 🙂

    A little light relief would be welcome after a browse through other blogs only to find them filled with anti-Wenger hate.

    I cannot comprehend why fans can’t express their dissatisfaction with Mr Wenger, some of which is valid, without resorting to disgusting invective.

    It sears the soul. 😦

  12. RA says:


    Was that the same Cazorla who kept being bundled off the ball by Matic and others, and giving the Chavs the licence to keep making breakaways?

    Or perhaps the Cazorla who was utterly ineffectual in trying to tackle the Chelsea players, especially Hazard who sauntered past him and coaxed a desperate Kozzer into giving away a penalty.

    I am probably being a little harsh on Cazzor because the whole of our diddy midfield were stretched to breaking, and for the same reason I do not understand why so many pundits are pointing the finger at Welly, who was never given any support for the same reason.

    and finally, the Ox, who I love dearly was also ineffectual when he came on, and I never saw him running onto non-existent through balls, or running around the back of the Chelsea defence.

    And funnily enough, I never once during the game saw Wenger make one crap pass, or miss a tackle, or make one or twenty passes too many.

    Apart from that, we are in agreement. 🙂

  13. Norfolk Gooner says:

    Oh! No RA, we are not in agreement. I think Wenger missed a golden opportunity to plant a knee right where it would rearange Moanhio’s family jewels. A rare chance for a manger to “take one for the team” 😀

  14. The Cockie Monster says:

    As personalities they are chalk and cheese, one a classy stylish Frenchman, the other from the west coast of Spain.

    Imo, we are at Chapter Three in the Wenger story !….Chapter One. He came, he saw, he changed our game to a new level which others have copied and with some nice shiny trophies . Magnificent job !.
    Chapter Two. The stadium move and keeping us in the CL on a Fistfcuking Fiscal Plain compared to wealthy others !. Magnificent job considering the circumstances !.
    Chapter Three. He now has the resources to compete. Will he be able too ?. How long do we give this chapter ?.

    Unlike Didit, I would jump at the chance of losing my style for 3 consecutive quadruples and if meant Maureen the Manageress, then so be it !. I/we support Arsenal FC…the team. The manager is a well paid employee and we should not lose sight of this however well he has done in the past.

    One thing for certain after failing to beat Maureen in 12 attempts, is that…..it probably has a nice penthouse feel, but Arsene must be sick of squatting in Jose`s pocket, that’s what the barnie was about !…..Maureen trying to evict Arsene from his technical area and pocket !.
    I see that Fat Sams `ammers are above us because they score more goals !……who said he cant entertain with the football !. hahaha
    I ask another question to compliment the headline……..would we have won more trophies had Usmanov bought all the shares ?.
    Alisher and Maureen instead of Arsene and Stan !. It`s all if`s, but`s and only`s…….. if only I would have married my wife`s better looking sister, would my kids be more attractive ?…..we don’t know !, all we know is that I`m going to have a face flatter than Van Gaals by the time I`ve finished this sentence, I feel her presence behind me…..just joking my cherry pie with Cobra like reflex`s !……is there a plastic surgeon in the AA house ?.

  15. Bayonne Jean says:

    Voted “can’t say” because there’s more than one question posed, and the answers are more “yes, but…” or “no, but…” than a definite up or down.

    One thing that can be compared is Mourinho’s vs. AW’s handling of Ozil. Very different in two ways — Mourinho never played him anywhere but at the #10, and more tellingly, he almost never played Ozil for a full 90, and Ozil was often the first to be subbed out.

  16. Big Raddy says:

    What a question!

    To say Yes M-rinho would have made an improvement seems disloyal but to say No is unrealistic.


    I will quite gladly rearrange your face Cornwall. hahaha

    My credentials are excellent. Did you see that picture in the sun of that breasted women? That was all my work, and all done after 6 pints of lager and three large brandys.

    I also done David Pleats face. Before I got hold of him he was known as Richard Gere.

    Arsenes a miles better manager than Morinio, so for that reason will not even entertain the question.

    However, I do feel that Arsene made a mistake looking for a ruck with the Portugeeza.

    Not that i wouldnt like to see Arsene bash his face in. On the contrary, I would find it thoroughly refreshing. It just that Arsenes so unlucky when it comes to Morinio, that in that moment when I thought Arsene was going to chin him, I feared he would stumble awkwardly, ending up strangling himself with his own tie.

  18. Rasp says:

    😆 Terry

    So what did you vote Raddy?

  19. RA says:

    Terry and Cockie,

    Priceless. 🙂

  20. RC78 says:

    If places were swapped, I believe that the result would have been a draw…just because Mourinho is fine with playing negative football when needed. He would set up the team with a bus parked in front of the goal so although I cannot stand him, I believe that he can just thwart other teams’ plan when needed.

  21. RC78 says:

    Mourinho would pbbly have played with 4-5-1 if he had our team with

    Szecesny – Chambers, BFG, Kos, Gibbs – Ox, Rosicky, Flamini, Wilshere, Cazorla – Sanchez

    With the 5 in the middle playing on a low line in mid and Sanchez up front alone…

  22. Rasp says:

    Sorry cockie, I’ve only just read your @ 2:53. The next poll on AA may well be …. who is the more barking, TMHT or cockie? 🙂

  23. RA says:

    Oh that’s easy, Rasp.

    They are two sides of the same coin and are both barking!

    Wait a minute – Peaches told me I was barking a little while ago!
    Well I refuse to be thought of as a third rate barker – sod that for a game of soldiers. 🙂

  24. GoonerB says:

    Thanks Beelzebub for the question that one hates to answer. I did answer can’t say at this point because there are some things that make me think the answer is yes but some things that turn me away from it.

    What makes me think no is firstly the current injury situation with key players missing and secondly that I still think we are up to 2 top players short of their squad and that can make all the difference in a tight top game.

    I do think it was tight as well and was decided on very narrow margins. I feel that if you took away the 2 goal incidents but showed a neutral the whole game minus those incidents, and asked them who was the better team and who should have won the game they would have struggled to split the teams.

    What makes me think yes is that I feel Maureen’s teams are better drilled without the ball. If I was marking the overall teams I would say Arsenal with the ball 8/10, Arsenal without the ball 6/10. Chelsea with the ball 7/10, Chelsea without the ball 9.5/10. Their 2 scores trump ours.

    I felt the same with Klopp’s Dortmund as I do with Maureens Chelsea that they actually look like they are trained in what to do when not in possession. I may be wrong but it doesn’t look like we do. I feel maybe a couple of pre-match instructions go out but that is it, and it is unlikely that any significant coaching on what to do without the ball goes on. I think we are in an age where the top teams are excellent at both and you can no longer rely on being very strong in one compensating for being below average in the other.

    I think the comment of the day comes from Barba although I always enjoy the comments from our 2 resident deviants. I find myself agreeing with Barba’s comment but at the same time I agree with Cockies 3 stages analysis, and that we are in stage 3.

  25. Shard says:

    What would have been the result if Atkinson wasn’t incompetent? What would have been the result if Mourinho wasn’t such a banned word? What would have been the result if Chelsea hadn’t spent a billion pounds over the last decade?

    I think it’s ridiculous to ask this question, tempting though it is to see it like that. This game especially was decided by such a small margin – just a few key moments – that I don’t think it really makes a difference as to the manager. It could easily have been us winning on another day with the same manager.

    What Mourinho does apart from ‘not accepting a lack of effort, poor performances etc’ is destroy players. He takes good players and he ruins them. The list is long and distinguished. This is probably because he comes from the Van Gaal school of thought in which their ‘plan’ is everything and the individual’s ability is of less importance. (This is Cruyff’s criticism of Van Gaal by the way, and part of the reason he led the coup at Ajax. A coup which Dennis Bergkamp played a part in)

    It works for Mourinho because he cares not one jot about the club, and because he’s had the money to replace players whenever they break. Wenger neither has that inclination, nor that luxury. Contrary to popular perception however, I don’t think Wenger is ‘soft’. It’s just that the likes of Mourinho aided by the oilers have taken ruthlessness into the realm of vulgarity. Something to which Arsene (and hopefully Arsenal) will never descend.

    So yeah, maybe Wenger can learn something from Jose (beat him at his own game one day. It would give me more pleasure than a pass them off the pitch victory). But implementing that sort of management style would be a great way to destroy a club’s legacy. And that’s without even taking a negative playing style into account.

    We’ve had Wenger for so long that we seem to just look past his strengths only to focus on what he’s not. It is far easier to push for a short term goal, with tons of money, and if you only aim to play defensive and anti football. To create something beyond that is far more difficult, but a far greater job. The day Jose stays at a top club for over a decade with a consistent winning record and no clear financial advantage, you can maybe compare him to Wenger. Till then, he ain’t fit to lick his boots regardless of the results.

  26. Uncle Winsome says:

  27. The Cockie Monster says:

    Thanks GoonerB !…..I`m more intrigued about Chapter Four !…..When Wenger is retired and takes a stroll into Battersea Dogs home looking for a poor mut and has to choose between me and Transplant as to which one he thinks has the maddest bark ?. I think he would probably choose the hairy hound Terry, with his tricks of doing algebra with a boneo, whilst all I can do is try and hump Arsene`s leg !.

  28. stevepalmer1 says:

    Evening all, sounds like an Arnie post.
    God forbid Mourinho at Arsenal, dont even like it when he visits.

    Could he do a job at Arsenal, of course he could, the team has been built by another Manager as all his jobs have been. Who else can walk into a football club and get the nod to buy the most expensive players in the world. After all most teams could do with one or two world class players that could make all the difference, but in all fairness the base of the team takes a long time to build.

    Mourinho’s record looks very good, but when has he ever built a team from scratch. I see Mourinho as a very fortunate Manager, offered positions from all over the world, I call him a Nomad, as ifeel he has no allegiance to anybody, only how much they are prepared to pay.

    Mourinho, would look at the squad of a club before he takes a job, if he feels that the core is good and then gets the ok to spend silly money, of course he could be successful, but so could many other managers as well.

    I have respect for managers who build squads from scratch and with very little money, At the end of the day to get a world class player to come to Real or Barcelona or City or Chelsea with high wages champions league football, is a lot easier than to a club like Wigan.

    Arsene to Chelsea, never going to happen he would never manage another club in England other than The Arsenal so no point commenting,

  29. Rasp says:

    Hi GB, I get your point about us not playing so well when not in possession. I think this is epitomized by Ozil, he looks incredible when we are winning/controlling a game but when we’re under pressure or losing, he doesn’t contribute as much as others.

    I love the guy, his technique his vision etc. and it makes me sad to say this, but I am beginning to wonder whether he is cut out for EPL football. I agree with those who say play him in some games and not others.

  30. TwentyTwelve says:

    Given the stipulation of the question (manager swap at start of last TW), my answer is “No” because:

    * Constraints are still in place at Arsenal. Doubtful if Mourinho could have performed better than Wenger in this area.

    * Equally, Chelsea already operates at the top of the market—Wenger admires both Costa and Fabregas—doubtful if Wenger could, or want to, do better.

    * Given similar sort of personnel, and Mourinho’s defend-first approach, a draw is more likely.

    * Assuming Chelsea and Arsenal have equally strong offensive players, but Chelsea have a stronger defensive midfield, Wenger might even eek out a win with that unit. After all, that’s why we have all been shouting for a HM/DM.



    Nothing barking about me. I was once accepted into the Conservitive party.

    Cockie though? Thats a different matter. He was once thrown out of a lunatic asylum for scaring the other paitents.

    To be honest, we were the real winners yesterday.

    The gap has now narrowed to such fine margins that Chelseas only advantage is cynical profesionalism.

    You know your on to a winner when someone like Phil Neville starts having a pop. Banjo players should stick to frightening middle class types that get lost in the woods, not commenting about football.

    We will beat them at the Grove, but before that we will go on a long run unbeaten, taking us within touching distance to the top.

    i also had a very nice dream last night that we beat Chelsea in the Champions League final

    At the final whistle Morinio lost it and tried attacking Arsene, but got battered by a flurry of Arsene punches.

    Arsene was safe. He was wearing a bow tie.

  32. Big Raddy says:

    “You know your on to a winner when someone like Phil Neville starts having a pop. Banjo players should stick to frightening middle class types that get lost in the woods, not commenting about football.”

    Took me a while but I got there. Brilliant Terry.

  33. kelsey says:

    That is a hell of a post,whoever you are.

    There are also some very good and interesting comments though some are repeating what we all know that tha Abramovich era started more or less as we were planning our move and the invinsibles were peaking.

    Good teams need little management and the fact that we have lost 12 times to Mourinho over a decade without a win is alarming.

    I would say he would sub a lot earlier than Wenger as he once did by bringing three subs on at half time.He wouldn’t rotate his players so much and wouldn’t blink an eye to drop a star player,but then he has basically got two first teams.

    This season he did his business early and the new players have fitted in from day one.

    The game has evolved and Mourinho is a lot younger than Wenger and maybe the sharpness has gone from our manager.

    It would never happen for Mourinho to be Arsenal’s manager so I shall keep supporting our club and the way it is run but I would like the board and AW to be be a bit more adventurous.

  34. Eddie says:

    Cannot answer the question, I don’t think anybody can. I tried to be unbiased and embrace Maureen, but I cannot. So feck him, he won yesterday and might win again, but that will not change the fact that Wenger got better of him on the touchline 🙂

  35. kelsey says:

    As a side note 43 players have played only one PL game under Wenger.

    Name them.

    I will start you off:

    Gavin Hoyte.

  36. GoonerB says:

    Kelsey you silly boy. Peaches wants posts and you have just started one. That could be tomorrows headline. BTW hope things are going better health wise for you Kelsey.

  37. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Yeah, I’m with GB on this one, zip it Crystals 🙂

    Mind you, just to allow me to warm up before tomorrow, do you mean “started” or what?

  38. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Actually, scratch that, I can’t think of one under any rules 😦

  39. GoonerB says:

    Cockie, I am not too sure I am buying into your retirement plans. I am not sure it is as appealing as the assisted living places down the road from me. They come complete with your own personal female chef not over the age of 30, but hey you and Terry have fun. At least you will be able to cock your leg and pee where you want without getting chucked out.

    Terry, playing the banjo is becoming more popular among the middle classes. If you want pop over to my local arboreal centre I can arrange a rendition for you, providing you can be the backing singer. Nothing serious just a few pig squeels through that pretty mouth of yours.

  40. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Actually, mind you, actually, I’ve had a genius theory about yesterday’s result. Do I save that for a post?

  41. Nice to see you back Kelsey

    Fuck Maureen……. well I did once nut she wasn’t Portuguese! Give me Wenger any day, didn’t vote, stupid fucking question. 🙂

  42. Rasp says:

    I’m very disappointed in the reponses from some established bloggers today and the descent into bad language that wouldn’t impress some of the parents among us whose children read the blog.

    Actually the post was quite subtle in its intent – something that has not been recognized by many. We didn’t publish until midday so that all the idiots who just wanted to bash Wenger could vent their spleen on other sites. As usual on AA, it gave the opportunity for sensible discussion.

    It turns out that no-one was disrespectful to AW or Arsenal and those who sought to pre-empt the opinions of others were the aggressors.

    We don’t bury our heads in the sand or run away from diffficult issues. Equally we have never sought to censor opinion on here, but only to offer a platform for healthy discussion where no football related topic is out of bounds.

  43. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Crikey NB

    Everyone knows there isn’t anyone left alive called Maureen who isn’t well into her nineties

  44. RA says:

    Oi, Mancini,

    I draw the line at animal abuse. Your comment; “Banjo players should stick to frightening middle class types that get lost in the woods” is obviously aimed at Teddy Bears, and those who go down to the woods today for a big surprise!

    You will give the Cockie palpitations. 🙂

  45. Exactly Didit…….. 🙂

  46. GoonerB says:

    Can I say that I would rather lose another 20 times with Arsene at the helm than replace him with Maureen. Having said that if phase 3 is not coming to fruition there may be other morally decent managers (like Klopp maybe) that may have the extra edge to put Maureen to the sword. I could definitely see Klopp beating Maureen in a Greco-Roman wrestling match.

    Rasp it is interesting how we all pick up on different points in a game. The thing I noticed yesterday was, when in the dangerous areas nearer Chelsea’s goal, they closed down space very quickly so cutting off angles but often stopped just short of the player coming at them leaving a little space so that they could stll turn and go with he player if required. In effect they were more shepherding them and it is more difficult to go past those players.

    Compare that to the penalty Hazard won. Up against one of the worlds best dribblers I felt 3 players in succession over-committed in terms of moving in too close to him which makes it much easier to go around them and the defenders forward momentum and close proximity will mean they will never be able to recover and turn and get back alongside the attacker. The nature of that little aspect of their defending looked coached to me while ours didn’t and looked a bit more schoolboy.

  47. RA says:

    Rasper, @ 7:48

    Were you referring to Micky showing off with his Latin, or me saying you were chicken? 🙂

  48. Rasp says:

    Thanks GB, the post doesn’t ask if anyone would prefer Maureen as manager – none of us would!

    We are definitely in a better place in terms of the squad compared to last season, but we still don’t seem able to compromise our style to the extent of pragmatism at times.

    We can only win by scoring more than the opposition if we prevent them from scoring and score ourselves …. a stupidly obvious statement – but that didn’t happen yesterday. I can’t think many Arsenal supporters that wouldn’t have been happy with a draw yesterday. It would appear that the chavs are still a little ‘stronger’ than us in most senses. If Cahill had been sent off it may have been different but 11 v 11 we’re still behind them.

  49. Rasp says:

    😛 Redders – neither ….. as well you know 🙂

  50. GoonerB says:

    Didit, if you are a sudden genius I definitely want to hear about it in a post.

  51. RA says:


    As I said earlier, my reading of the Hazard dribble was that a Chelsea player faced with a similar situation would have taken him out with a trip, or a push long before he got to the penalty area, and taken a yellow card, if necessary, for the team.

    Our lot didn’t.

  52. LB says:

    Well done Rasp, good idea for a post.

    Maurinho is an eye gouging banned word, I know that is not what the title asks but I still hurt and that is what I think of him.

  53. I apologis efor the f*”ks but the question just seemd a bit pointless. We will never know if Maureen managing Arsenal for yeaterdays game would have won the match.

  54. RA says:


    And you know that I know that you know. 🙂

    Actually, if any of us should say something that is socially inappropriate, I think you, or Peaches or one of the other AA hierarchy should delete it — and censorship be damned.

    Peaches’s mum’s test is still the base standard, and if children are reading as well – all the more so.

  55. RA says:

    I think it was Terry’s threat to the Teddy Bears in the woods that tipped the scale, NB.

  56. Rasp says:

    Hi nb, of course we can never know what would have resulted from the swap.

    The point is that the question (if taken seriously) forced us to think about the obvious differences between the 2 men as managers and human beings. I’m pretty sure that many would like to see a bit of ‘Mourinho’ in AW as long as he wasn’t anything like Mourinho – if you see what I mean 🙂

    The result of the poll is pretty conclusive – 2.5 times more voters thought that we’d probably have won if the swap took place compared to those who thought we’d still have lost. So maybe the conclusion is that our supporters put class and style ahead of winning if the cost of winning is having a manager like JM.


    hahaha, I wont take it back about Teddy Bears Redders.

    About fifteen years ago i thought i had met the women of my dreams. She was beautiful, smart, and sophisticated. The type of women who sipped fine sherry, and knew the limitations of Brian Talbot.

    After about a month of courting, whilst discusiing the merits of the American penal system, she slipped in that I could stay the night. i was so relieved, I had been having a horrible lean spell and was considering calling Steve Archibald to find out he dealt with it.

    As we walked into her flat she yelled “Englebert, were hommme”

    I thought Christ, whos this Englebert? Had I been set up? Were they after my money?, or worse?, making me regret wearing lose fitting trousers

    She then appeared out of the bedroom holding this horrible custard looking Teddy Bear “Say hello Englebertee”

    Her infatuation with this bear was a nightmare. In bed ,everytime i made a move, she would brush me off by sticking Englebert in my face “Englbertee does not like that. Do you Engleberteeeeee?”

    Through desperation, I had seen as much action as a finacialy destitute Garth Crooks, i continued the charade for three weeks.

    On the last night, i went round when she was out but had left a key under the mat.

    I had a really bad day, we had been turned over at Sunderland and Viera had been sent off by a bent ref, then, I saw Englebert slumped on the armchair giving me a dirty look.

    I lost it and started beating him up. He tried to fight back, but I got the better of it and ended up sitting on him

    In the struggle, my loose trousers had rolled down to my ankles and Engleberts zip had been damaged.

    Just at that moment she walked in “You animal, what are you doing to him?”

    “Youve unzipped him. You horrible horrible pervet, get out before I call the police”

    For any young guys reading this. If you have just started a new courtship and upon entering your sweet hearts bedroom notice a Teddy Bear on the bed, call it a night and go home.

    Alternativly, wear tight fitting trousers and check the Teddy Bear hasnt got a zip.

  58. Uncle Winsome says:

    Apologies for my foul-mouthed outburst at the end of yesterday’s post.
    (please, if there are any children reading this, do not go off to have a look)

    I couldn’t get a vine of Cesc’s handball to post without it going into moderation for no reason whatsoever.
    I didn’t expect anybody with control of the moderation sin bin to release all of my tirade for public viewing, just the first would have been sufficient.
    Uncle Winnie

  59. Rasp says:

    Uncle – it’s OK, we realised that. I released your comments using my Iphone and didn’t read them – I wasn’t referring to you 🙂

  60. Uncle Winsome says:

    I must admit I was a bit bemused by the post.
    A bit like, if my aunt had doo-dahs, she’d be my uncle.

    Fair enough, you can conclude that if Wenger was a little more like Mourinho in some areas, we’d be more successful as a club, but he wouldn’t be Wenger then, would he?

  61. Uncle Winsome says:

    I realised you weren’t, Rasp, but they are still there nonetheless.
    Perhaps you could delete all but the first, ta.

  62. Rasp says:

    It’s done, WordPress has been a nightmare recently.

    As far as the post is concerned …. you can’t please all the people …. etc. etc.

    I thought there were some very good comments and surprisingly it didn’t divide opinion as pretty much everyone felt compelled to say they preferred Wenger over Maureen even though that was a gimme 🙂

  63. GoonerB says:

    Haha, thanks for the advice Terry but I always wear tight fitting trousers. My problem has always been that by the time I get them off the lady whose lucky night it was had turned in and was sound asleep with her Teddy Bear. By the time I had discovered tight velcro instant pull off’s I was married and it was game over.

    Uncle, I wouldn’t start the aunties with doo-dahs theme. It will invite Terry to tell you the story about his great aunt Sophia.

  64. Bayonne Jean says:

    RA, on your comment re having a player take out Hazard on that run: Chambers was in position but had to shy away because of the soft yellow Atkinson shelled out to him earlier. The lad’s a smart fella, and knew that if he’d taken him out he was off. In my view, that was Atkinson’s most impactful decision on the day, since if Hazard was taken down outside the box by Chambers, likely no goal in the first half and thus a totally different rest of the match.

    The evidence, your grace; watch early on in the clip:


  65. arnie says:

    Pretty nice day’s discussion. 🙂 Flattering to think some of you thought Arnie was the naughty one. I think not, but what do I know! 😛

    Was it RC78, who promised a post but did not mention this when he came back on? Was it Raddy, who put the post up? Or was it an under-cover Rasper? Or was it ANO? The plot thickens.

    Personally, I thought that was the best we played this season. That we were still second best to the Chavs is a pity. But would I have it any other way? No. Do I secretly enjoy the heartbreak that supporting the good guys brings? Yes.

    On with it then. Sod the mainstream, try to play the game the proper way and make a difference! Celebrate the obstinate defiance! COYG. 🙂 🙂 🙂

  66. arnie says:

    And now that I am sufficiently relaxed and feeling up for the fight, here is one of my favourite pieces of western music 😛

  67. Big Raddy says:

    Morning All,

    One day gone of the Interdull. Bored already

  68. Uncle Winsome says:

    Only 38! He could still do a job 🙂

  69. Uncle Winsome says:

  70. Uncle Winsome says:

    He only wanted more time away from the darkest door. But his luck it gave in as the dawn light crept in

  71. Uncle Winsome says:

  72. Uncle Winsome says:

  73. Uncle Winsome says:

    Love and hate, exhilaration and fear.

  74. Uncle Winsome says:

    Atkinson’s reaction to the Arsenal players disbelief that he hasn’t given handball against Fabregas at 2:34.
    “One, Two Three, Four, My bribe is safely tucked in my back door”

  75. Uncle Winsome says:

  76. Uncle Winsome says:

  77. Uncle Winsome says:

    Creee-I-Tan, Creee-I-Tan

  78. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Hey Chas
    Hadn’t finished discussing my plan of you sticking a speaker down your pants for the ladies.
    I’ve thought about it a lot, and your concern about the “look”, what with the device being square is no longer anything to worry about.
    You can get round ones. Wireless as well, so can be operated from your ipod.
    Think of it. You’re in your tight shorts. The visual impact is impressive, and with a discreet flick of the switch you have audio impact from your pants as well as the look.
    The target appears, and out of your pants comes “Baby I want your love” by love god Barry White, or, depending on your mood and the object of your desire, perhaps something from a Judy Garland Musical.

  79. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Are England playing qualifiers or friendlies?

  80. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Bet Arnie enjoyed The Ramones vid 🙂

  81. Uncle Winsome says:


  82. Uncle Winsome says:


  83. The thing I love about Uncle Winsome, is that he has never worked out that the length of his tiny shorts should, in polite society, exceed the length of his dong.

    We at the the Home always make sure we go to the gym at the same time he does, and shout Olé every time we get a peek.

  84. Eddie says:

    micky – what is the difference between a friendly and a qualifier against San Marino?

  85. kelsey says:

    Not been blogging much .Too much going on in my personal life and I feel crap.Most of you will disagree with me but I am entitled to my opinion.;)

    I didn’t watch the game but saw the highlights.

    Again an awful inconsistent ref and though we played better,not one direct shot at goal.

    Chelsea are setting the benchmark no doubt in my mind,but then again they basically have two first teams.

    AW is ruining Ozil,does he want a team of 8 number tens but at the same time stick them out on the flanks.

    2 wins out of 7 is the second worst start in AW’s tenure.

    So many think the return of Walcott will change things,but I don’t.

    Our defence is allover the place and zonal marking doesn’t work, doesn’t Bould see this or maybe he does but AW over rides him.

    I never expected us to beat Chelsea but make no mistake if we had scored they would have upped their game.

    Half our goals last season came from Giroud,Ramsey and yes Podolski with 8 in the PL. 2 are injured the other one obviously doesn’t fit in our manager’s plans yet despite his faults he has the hardest and most accurate shot in the squad.
    Ozil could easily get pissed off with all of this. At Real he always played 70 minutes and much more central.

    Sanchz and Chambers are great acquisitions but we are crying out for an enforcer and by january it maybe too late to even get top 4.

    Going back to the NLD, it didn’t have the feel like the old days against a crap Spurs side.I have asked a few who attended and they agreed.

    Szsney needs dropping after his 4th straight red,let him fight for his place,but true to form AW won’t do that.
    We are becoming more and more predictable to play against as AW doesn’t know his best team, injuries aside, and that is concerning.

    Why give Arteta another year,his pace has gone he is injury prone as he was at Everton and Diaby now has his 42nd injury.Does one laugh or cry.

    Why isn’t the 34 year old rosicky not getting game time and why doesn’t the Ox get an automatic start. he is young, powerful, doesn’t tire so two games a week wouldn’t kill him.

    I really think we will struggle this season.

    it’s great to watch tippy tappy if it leads to goals but they are far too infrequent.

    Amen 🙂

  86. Gööner In Exile says:

    Morning all, I didn’t visit yesterday because I couldn’t face the match report and resultant mud slinging, and lo and behold Rasp and Peaches came up with a fantastic way of avoiding it and yet still covering it, and somehow not attracting the toy chiuckers.

    Given that it is far easier to coach defensive football and assuming Maureen had the squads in July yes the result would have been different, probably a draw.

    The question I want answered is whether we as fans would accept our team going away to the big sides snd playing for a draw but hoping for a chance to nick the win?

    Chelsea will play like that against every other rival and it’ll probably work out for them.

    But simple question to answer, of the 3 games below what was the most enjoyable to watch:

    Arsenal v City
    City v Chelsea
    Chelsea v Arsenal

  87. kelsey says:

    No mus slinging on here GIE.

    I stick to my guns, concede less is the way forward, play as a unit not a bunch of individuals,stop experimenting and we might get somewhere.

    You can give a thousand reasons but our away record against the other top 5 is dreadful and it isn’t improving.

    How many games in its entirety have you all enjoyed this season.

    Early days but to me the signs are ominous.

  88. Gööner In Exile says:

    Kelsey just a question.

    Maureen won’t rotate and in the same comment you ask why Pod or Ox are left out, who would sit out? And how long would the player they replace be happy sitting getting splinters? Drogba and Remy are sitting on the Chelsea bench, yet you are concerned about players Arsene doesn’t play he has his best 11 then he deals with injuries. Not sure how he can win in your eyes.

  89. GoonerB says:

    I don’t know what is happening to this blog. Recently I have been discovering that Eddie is not a bloke, Uncle winsome used to have a name that was far easier to pronounce, and now I am pretty sure that Auntie Gladallover is not actually a female….at least not on a school night.

  90. RA says:


    Pod is left out because unfortunately he is not really up to it (and I wonder whether he ever has been really) and Arsene has made it clear that he thought he had brought Jack on too quickly, because we needed him, and his injuries might have been the result, so he is determined not to repeat that with the Ox – and rightly so, he does not use him all the time.

    I know this should be addressed to Crystals, but I have said it all before, and he tells me he does not read my stuff. 🙂

  91. RA says:


    You forgot to mention the strange guy who either warms camels or worms camels, or the fella who lives in Norfolk and walks for miles everyday around the turkey farms, because he thinks they are holiday camps.

    And that is just scratching the surface. 🙂

  92. kelsey says:

    I always read your comments RA.

    AW always says his new players need a settling in period as usually they come from another league, you don’t hear that from other top managers that regularly.Da Costa isn’t doing to badly.

    If Ox is to brought on gradually why is Chambers playing nearly every game because we don’t have experience to cover for Debuchy.

    GIE , why does he keep Podolski, why didn’t he sell him as it is obvious he is never going to be anything more than a bench warmer.

    Basically I will say it again that a leopard doesn’t change his spots and we have an unbalanced team. A few really good players still being asked to play in umpteen positions, quite a number with a year or two left in the top flight and then players like bellerin and hayden and Sanogo who are total novices to deal with the pressure on PL football regularly.

    I don’t want to keep hearing about “mental strength”I don’t see it very often.

  93. RA says:


    Glad to see you back, and hope all is progressing well.

    I must say that if I saw things the way you do, and in fairness you do make some valid points, I would not be bothered watching football.

    We lost for the first time this season, which started back in mid-August, against the best team so far this season – so the tables say – and that does not call for everyone to commit sepuku. 🙂

  94. RA says:


    I am really sorry that the team and the manager are not bringing you the pleasure that you want, and when you are not well that is a shame, and perhaps colours your perception too.

    No one can give you the answers to the questions you raise, partly because you will not accept there are alternative views on the matter, and partly because the only one who can answer you is Arsene Wenger – and that is not going to happen.

    I do not mean to upset you, so can I make a suggestion?
    Perhaps you might like to write your views on how the Arsenal problems, as you see them, can be resolved, in terms of the manager, the player recruitment, the style of play, the use of the available players and so on, instead of simply making statements or asking questions?

    Now that would be really interesting and would get a big response. 🙂

  95. Morning all

    I’m just in the cupboard sorting the post ……… back in a bit.

  96. RA says:

    And I will take myself off for the day to a site where bloggers answer or respond to me – sometimes. Ta ra, again. 😀

  97. kelsey says:

    Actually you are right RA. I don’t enjoy watching Arsenal much these days as we are so predictable,just look at the these 7 games were in many cases we scrapped a draw or just got a last minute winner.
    Nothing to do with support, I just don’t get the adrenlin rush at the moment as I don’t see Wenger changing actually if anything he will be outwitted more and more.

    I maybe totally wrong and sincerely hope I am,but thats just how I feel, sorry

  98. ………… New Post everyone ………………….

  99. kelsey says:

    I type badly and slowly RA 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: