No to a celebrity Manager at Arsenal

March 17, 2017


Let me have a stab in the dark here. There will be cries, or more probably crying, for a Manager who still has a team in the Champions League, after all, you can only be a winner in the here and now. It’s the nature of short termism, but hang on, things get worse.

I smell something fishy. Well, to be more precise, the pong of John Paul Gautier’s “Homme”, or whatever his latest odour is called. It’s the whiff of the ponce.

We live in the Era of the Celebrity, and to fit the bill, even a football manager must have the necessary accoutrements, for increasingly he is becoming a fashion accessory. Take a gander at the new breed, the in-set, and it must be more than coincidence they share the same stylist as well as perfumer.

Klopp, Jose, Pep and Conte. It’s all about the hair, the teeth, the slim fit suit, tight continental underwear and designer stubble. What a bunch of complete ponces.

Oh, and what about all the touchline hysteria. The “Ooooo look how much I care”. Oh shut up and stick your passion up your arse. We don’t care. We bleed our club, not you. Grow up.

Honestly, all that leaping up and down, over animated pre-school level play acting, tearing around the touchline waving yer little handbag in the air like an over excited little girl, hugging everyone. It’s pathetic.

Recently I’ve watched a few games involving the aforementioned “look at me, look at me, look at me” managers, and they all make me sick. Big girls’ blouses the lot of you. I wouldn’t have your sort within 100 miles of The Arsenal.

We’re somewhat more reserved than that at Arsenal. You know, keep it zipped up rather than leaving it all hanging out. Your type are for the needy selfie generation.

I sincerely hope that Arsenal recognize the need for style and dignity as and when appointing the new face of our club.




April 17, 2010

Written by dandan

I remember Arsene Who’s? arrival at Arsenal, an urbane educated man, with a working knowledge of 7 languages including Japanese learnt in the 18-month period prior to him joining the club. Whilst coaching Grampus eight, he managed to get the club from the bottom to runners up in the Japanese J league and collected the Presidents cup on the way.

He arrived with the club in turmoil after a year of Bruce Rioch and Stewart Houston following the sudden departure of George Graham for playing with brown paper bags.

Wenger’s pre-joining gift to our club was a gawky leggy young midfielder with the temerity to kick back with alacrity the resident hard men of the premier league, earning the respect of players and the everlasting love of Gooners, along with a collection of red cards from referees blind to the constant intimidation he was subjected to.

Wenger’s marriage of the young Vieira to the resident maestro Dennis Bergkamp and the existing Arsenal back four, was to take us to third in the league and with addition of more foreign players, to the league and cup double in the following year.

I give this history lesson for all those Gooners who currently call for his head, this is the man they say doesn’t value older players, wont buy and is only interested in young players.

His record speaks differently. What he actually does is buy quality and sells at the top of the market. That much we know.

What we don’t know is how much money he has had available to continue this philosophy. We have moved to a new ground and somehow managed to do it on a manageable debt. How much was spare for players no one knows.

Even so, AA, TV, Rosicky and Nasri have been added to the squad and a number of dissatisfied, disaffected and troublesome players have been sold for large profits or left at contract end. Whilst the never-ending stream of talent scouted by Arsene’s unrivalled worldwide network, has flowed on bringing the cream of young players from all over to our club.

Through all this change we have continued an uninterrupted run in the champions league reaching semis and finals along the way, to do this we have had to finish 4th or above every year in the most competitive league in the world. This is in my mind a miracle given the circumstances and strictures with which Wenger has dealt.

But it’s not enough for so many Gooners. These guys, mainly Johnny come lately fans, unaware of just how astonishing Wenger’s achievements have been, can only say we have won nothing for 5 years. Many of these fans are products of the now generation, the instant society in which, we sadly now live. Play station football managers whose own reality is the digital world that surrounds them;

No one minds honest reasoned criticism providing the facts have been carefully weighed, but this mindless spend at all cost philosophy is way beyond the realms of reasonableness and a recipe for disaster.

So we finish third this year, we qualify for the Champion’s League again, but unless we buy half the stars of the upcoming world cup then Arsene and the board have failed. Unbelievable, thank Christ the board have more sense and value the talents of Mr Wenger more than the collective wisdom of these deluded shop-aholics.