UEFA’s New Financial Rules Will Benefit Arsenal – written by Red Arse

August 27, 2010

Written by Red Arse

O.K., with the transfer window coming to a close very soon, it might be worth having a look, again, at the new UEFA Financial Fair Play Rules, which will, in conjunction with the new EPL Home Grown Players rules, change forever the way Clubs administer their finances and have a huge knock on effect on the valuation of transfer values and players’ wages.

The background to this new onslaught on the financial funds sloshing around European Football is undoubtedly specifically aimed at the English Premier League clubs.


Unlike the prudent Gunners, many clubs in the PL are funded to a greater or lesser extent by sugar daddy owners. The most notorious abusers of the current Premier League financial laissez faire has been for many years the Chavs, where Abramovich has poured hundreds of millions of pounds in “loans” to bolster what was essentially a bankrupt club.

This money was poured into acquiring players, at hugely inflated prices and wages, with which no club other than, peripherally, Manure could compete. This tactic of collaring the market for the best players, eventually won the braggart Mourhino the PL. Boo!

The Mancs have also been funded in an extraordinary way by the Glazers, who have funded the club by borrowing huge bucks. And now, Citeh have been subsidised by its new owner, Sheikh Mansur, again with hundreds of millions of £’s being poured into the club.

In the most recent accounting period, 2008/9, 15 out of the 20 clubs made substantial losses.

In other words, a massive three-quarters of the Premier League clubs will need to reduce significantly their spending on players’ wages if they are to qualify for European competitions, once Uefa’s “financial fair play” rules are introduced. With effect from season 2012/13, they will have to, at least, break even.

Wow! Do some of these clubs realise how little time they have left to get their houses in order?

However, owners will, according to the rules, be permitted to invest in clubs, via permanent shares rather than by way of repayable loans, which will enable them to build a solid infrastructure such as training grounds or youth development facilities, but will not be allowed to overspend on wages or transfers. The sugar daddies will not be able to call in their loans and simply walk away, if the going gets tough, however unlikely you think that might be, and the normal Company Law rules will apply to their shareholding.

Michel Platini, who many think of as an anti-English plonker, and that includes me, warned of the “danger to football” posed by debt, overspending and “rampant commercialism”. As I said, I don’t like the man, but there is an element of sound commonsense in this.

Clubs cannot return losses of more £38m for the three year period, 2012-15. After 2015 the clubs will be given a further leeway of £25m, for losses during an additional three year period, after which the figure will be substantially reduced.

In the Premier League, besides Chelsea and Citeh, Aston Villa are subsidised by the club’s owner, Randy Lerner, and they lost £46m in 2008-09, while Sunderland lost £26m. Liverpool lost £55m, principally because they had to pay £40m interest on the £250m “purchase” price borrowed from their bank, RBS, by Gillette and Hicks.

Manchester United made a profit in 2008/9 only because of the £81m sale of Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid; in previous years, since the Glazer family took over what was then the world’s most profitable club and ladled huge debts on to it, United have sustained substantial losses every single year.

Clearly, (heh, heh), it is going to be a difficult period of adjustment for all the loss making clubs, like Manure, Citeh, Villa and Chelski etc, who play, or are hoping to play, in European competitions.

Put simply, clubs in European competition can only spend what they earn. The financial fair play rules will require clubs to break even over a rolling three-year period, if they want to play in the Champions League or Europa League.

There will be some leeway enshrined in the rules for the six years after 2012, but as mentioned, some Premier League clubs, notably Manchester City, Chelsea and Aston Villa, could still fall foul of the rule unless they change their spending habits pronto.

Manure, however, believe they will pass the rules threshold, despite the handicap of paying out £45m to service their debts every year. Should be a neat trick!

On the other hand beautiful Arsenal (hooray) and shitty Tottenham (boo, hiss) will pass the test comfortably.

Clubs that breach the rules will not be granted a Uefa club licence to take part in European competitions.

In recent years, Arsenal’s prudence has played a part in their being priced out of the transfer market, which has been dominated by the usual suspects. Starting next year the boot will be very firmly on the Arsenal foot!

We are the Mighty Arsenal! You Will Feel the Financial Power!

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Posted by Rasp

Blackpool Rocks….- written by BigRaddy

August 21, 2010

Written by BigRaddy

It seems an age since we thrashed Fulham on a bright sunny day at the Emirates. The first home game of the season always creates a frisson of emotions; the excitement of the resumption of  pre-match customs. The meeting with your football mates (those people with whom one has shared so many highs and lows and yet have little to do with our non-Arsenal lives). The road beer as you leave the pub full of positivity and bonhomie for the stroll to the ground. The mounting excitement as one walks the familiar streets of Islington taking the lucky route to the Emirates. The first sight of the season of the magnificent  and ever impressive stadium. Not the homely , welcoming  and stately sight of Highbury nestling on the side of the hill, but the Emirates, a reflection of the new stature of our club – stand-offish, modern, imposing powerful, and above all else Big.

Through the turnstiles and into the ground climbing those dull concrete stairs to the concourse. Another beer and then up the steps for the season’s first view of the pitch. The imagination soars. For me, this is the finest view in the whole world – you can keep the Taj Mahal, the Grand Canyon, The Barrier Reef – the view from the terrace entrance is imbued with such emotion and awe that nothing can beat it.

On to today’s game. It feels like Same Same but Different. Same injury problems, same transfer frustrations, same criticism of GK’s and defence, but some different personnel. Chamakh’ s first game will I am sure bring him a goal and the start of a fruitfull career at THOF. He looks an excellent signing. The same can  be said for Koscielny who sadly (thanks to an awful refereeing decision) is unavailable today.

Who will play?

Doubts surround the fitness of Djourou, Song, Diaby, Arshavin and Cesc, so my prediction is almost certainly wrong!

Blackpool arrive having had an astonishing win at Wigan – perhaps one of the most surprising first day results in many years. Without exception, all the pundits have predicted relegation and an embarrassing campaign for the Tangerines. Having excelled themselves in the run to the play-off’s and then excited us with their attacking, adventurous style, they are surely doomed when playing PL opposition, but last week’s result may be an indicator of an unexpected resolve. Today will be a big test for them.

According to some sources Blackpool is so named because a drainage ditch emptied from a peat bog into the sea creating a black pool of effluent (really!!) at this point on the Lancashire coast (coincidentaly Dublin is Irish for black pool).

Chris Lowe (Pet Shop Boys) hails from Blackpool (as do Jethro Tull, one of the finest bands of all time), and as everyone knows Chris is a season ticket holder at The Arsenal and a proper Gooner – well played that man.

A convincing win today and a chance for the strikers to fill their boots!

COYRRG

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Posted by Erik the Red

Money to Burn – written by dandan

August 19, 2010

Written by dandan

Morning all. So now a tycoon is about to buy Blackburn Rovers, promising in yesterday’s Times to make available to Sam Allardyce enough money to buy every football kicking assassin on the face of the earth. Rumour has it, that plans are well advanced for the SAS to be co-opted as the latest addition to his hi tech training staff, providing advisors to coach the ‘double tap lets flatten em tackle’, at present being field tested by covert operations.

Arsenal themselves are rumoured to be a target for a takeover and Liverpool are desperate for the injection of life saving capital that new owners would bring. Meanwhile city are buying almost every player another club might want and refusing to sell even the disillusioned ones to any club that might be seen as a threat to their attempted premier league dominance.

What is the point of all these high flyers buying clubs? The one thing they have in common is they are winners, but only four possible trophies are available including the Champion’s League for which you first have to qualify. So are they all playing for a top four finish? Is Wenger right that it is the most important result if you can’t win the darn thing? His argument is based on money, but as these guys are all the progeny of Croesus with money to burn, that argument goes out of the window.

So multiple rich owners, four trophies to be won, how many of these guys will keep throwing money at the problem if they don’t win anything? How long before these clubs are tossed aside along with the grieving fan base to sink into debt induced oblivion.

Could it be that AW’s youth policy and prudence that has delivered our own almost debt free stadium and kept us in the top four thus far, will win the day?

Or perhaps this Indian guy is right to back Sam, after all if his team is the last one left standing he will win by default.

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Posted by dandan

Sack Wenger; Win Something – Written by redandwhiteviews

August 17, 2010

Written by redandwhiteviews

Unless you’ve been holidaying with Terry Waite’s old associates or staying with the Fritzls, you’ll know that Arsenal haven’t won anything for five years. You’ll know because every lazy football writer and commentator mentions it every five minutes.

My worry is that people believe the hype – because of his failure to bring ‘silverware’ to the Emirates in recent years, some ‘fans’ are even disappointed Wenger has signed a new deal. Time for a reality check:

No divine right to win the league

To begin with, and despite what the red scousers and the bare-chested idiots from Newcastle might tell you, no club has a divine right to win the league. It’s really hard to do and requires luck as well as momentum. The league invariably comes down to a few points (one point last year, none in ‘89), so a couple of bad games can put paid to your title hopes pretty quickly – in our case it used to be in November, but now seems to be March. So even if you’ve got the Chelsea open chequebook or the £60m-a-year the Mancs spend on players, you’re not guaranteed to win it anyway.

Shit cups are like chocolate teapots… pointless

Although Liverpool listed the Charity Shield among their ‘five cups’ and Spurs still boast of their success in the 1947 Norwich Hospital Charity Cup (click here if you don’t believe me), the Champions League is the only other trophy that really counts. But the Champions League is a cup competition. Any of the top sides can win it – which is why Porto did and we nearly did – and any side can lose it, which is why Chelsea, despite all their cash, never have. My point is that, however much you spend, there are no guarantees.

Building for the future…

To many, Wenger’s tighter than Beth Ditto’s waistband and needs to spend to win trophies. But the decision to build the Emirates has put massive constraints on Wenger. I honestly don’t think he’s got anywhere near the money people think. The board says there’s money to spend, but they would… otherwise clubs would target our players with even lower bids than they already do. That doesn’t mean the decision to build the Emirates was wrong. The 9,000 seats in the posh bit in the middle generate as much income as the whole of Highbury’s 38,000 seats used to. Once the stadium debt is paid for, we will have one of the world’s finest sporting arenas generating enough income to ensure our future for years to come. Around the same time, other clubs will hopefully be paying for the irrational management of their finances during the global financial crisis, and we will be in a position of most clubs’ envy – alive. Until then, the money is not available to take on the likes of Man U, Chelsea and, more notably, Man City in the transfer market. So the goalposts have moved.

The new goal

Our target during this period of paying for the stadium is to keep achieving Champions League football. Anything else will be a bonus. Wenger is spot on that 3rd or 4th in the league is better than winning the League Cup or the FA Cup. Anyone can get lucky and win a cup – Millwall made the final and Portsmouth won it – but a full season sets the men from the boys. The main thing, of course, is that the rewards are so much bigger. Would you really want Wenger fielding his best eleven in the Carling Cup on a Wednesday away at Wigan if there’s a six-pointer for a Champions League spot on the Saturday? Sack Wenger and you might just end up winning some shit… and missing out on the good stuff.

Show a little faith…

Wenger’s record speaks for itself but, if anyone thinks someone else could have done a better job on his watch, (including the idiots who have suggested Jumpy-up-and-down Martin O’Neill should be brought in to replace him), here are a few pointers.

For starters, what do Tottenham, Newcastle, ‘Boro, Sunderland, Villa, Everton, the Mancs, Liverpool, Chelsea and Man City all have in common? The answer is they all have a higher net spend than Arsenal since 2004. Where are their championships, FA Cups and Champions League finals? Newcastle, Boro and Sunderland have been relegated in that time. I don’t hear commentators banging on about their lack of silverware every two minutes.

Chelsea’s have spent £248m since 2004, recouping just £100m. Wenger’s net spend per season since 2004 has been £4m. He’s achieved Champions league football every year on that budget. Every year.

Before moving to the Emirates, we were no bigger than Leeds, Villa, Everton, Newcastle, Man City, Tottenham, West Ham, Liverpool and many others who had stadiums as big as ours and therefore the same income. Arsenal have been in the Champions League for 11 seasons running. Where have the others been? Newcastle have been to Bristol Rovers for league games. Leeds have been to Cheltenham, Hereford and Yeovil.

In summary, Arsenal made a decision some years ago that, rather than stand still with our peers, we would take a punt on building a big stadium to generate long-term higher income and the chance to compete at the very top.

What they saw in Wenger, a man who had already revolutionised British football with his views on fitness, training, diet and tactics, was a man who could not only steer us through the period in which we would have to pay for that plan, but who had the foresight to begin a youth policy which would also give the fans something enjoyable to watch and the chance of success every year without spending money – even if that success doesn’t always materialise. I’ll take security and hope over trips to Cheltenham, Hereford and Yeovil, Carling Cups and the Norwich Hospital Trophy any day. But the commentators aren’t interested in that, are they?

redandwhiteviews was previously known as heffer on this site. This article has been published on his site, but he has allowed us to reproduce it on here for our readers to enjoy.

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Posted by Rasp

Losing would have been a very bad start.

August 16, 2010

How often does the first game of the season give us so much to discuss? Away at Anfield was always going to be a difficult trip but we left there honours even after having controlled much of the game. Some of our passing game in the first half was sublime with Nasri doing a great job of running the mid-field.

Two red cards and a goal a peice thanks in part to goal-keeping errors left me feeling that we could have done better. Joe Cole was sent off just before half-time for a late two footed challenge on Koscielny that had me draw a sharp in-take of breath as apart from the not quite fit Song we had no centre-back on the bench. Luckily Koscielny jogged out for the second half.

So with Liverpool down to ten men and Arsenal all over them, the next 45 minutes should have been a walk in the park but three familiar occurances haven’t changed since last season – Almunia is not a good enough goal-keeper, We have loads of possession so the game is great to watch and WE GET INTO GREAT POSITIONS AND DON’T  SHOOT.

Thanks to 26may1989 for some good comments following the game that are being rolled out again here.

International break affected everyone, and yet Liverpool had an inspired (if defensive) second half today, and Chelsea decimated (an admittedly very poor) WBA yesterday. Plus today was another example in a long list of Arsenal games in which we fail to break down determined, well-organised defensive football. These happen often with our best team on the field, so the return to the starting line-up of Fabregas, Song and van Persie may not cure the ill. Our next league games see us play Blackpool, Blackburn, Bolton and Sunderland, so there may well be more tests of this kind very soon.

But the game today was pretty frustrating: a good first half performance, albeit without creating enough chances, but a really slow, turgid second half performance. Nice to scrape the point but a suitably horrible equaliser to cap such a laboured second half performance.

My take on individual performances:

Almunia: 3/10. At fault for the goal and made at least two other big mistakes on crosses, and Skrtel could easily have made it 2-0 on one of them. Sorry to say, because I like Almunia’s character, but hopefully the end of his time at the club.

Vermaelen: 7/10. Solid performance, did little wrong in defence and could (should?) have got a late late winner.

Koscielny: 7/10. Excellent start, worked well with Vermaelen and did little wrong. Very harsh second yellow card.

Clichy: 4/10. Poor performance, lots of weak play and mistakes with little attacking penetration. Would hope Gibbs is brought in quickly, but Clichy can and will do better.

Sagna: 5/10. Not great, not terrible.

Wilshere: 6/10. Tough game for his first Prem start for us. Faded and made a bad mistake in the build-up to Ngog’s goal but was as bright and lively as almost anyone else in yellow before he went off other than Nasri.

Diaby: 6/10.

Nasri: 7/10. Excellent first half, didn’t deal so well with Liverpool’s tightened defence in the second half.

Eboue: 6/10.

Arshavin: 3/10. Dreadful, deadened performance, offered little in attack or covering for Clichy.

Chamakh: 6/10. Tough debut, up against a talented, well-organised defence.

Walcott: 6/10.

Rosicky: 7/10. Great cross for the goal, good effort saved by Reina, improved the team.

van Persie: 5/10.

The real story of the game: Liverpool defended (at Fortress Anfield) heroically, as well as Blackburn or Stoke would have done, and Arsenal failed to break them down despite being a man up for half the game. The result was better than I feared but the performance was worse than I hoped. United and Chelsea will hardly be quaking in their boots watching either us or Liverpool. Cole was rightly sent off but Koscielny shouldn’t have been red carded. Leaves us with a problem next week, as does yet another poor performance from Almunia.

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Posted by peachesgÖÖner

Do the positives outweigh the negatives?

August 14, 2010

Written by kelsey

So we are about to kick off yet another season and on paper not an easy start at Anfield, yet we haven’t lost to pool in the league since 2007. In a way it is good for us to have this as our opening match for several reasons. It will show us that despite our manager being tight lipped about possible signings before the end of the month, the pressure is very much on Liverpool.

By their standards they had a disastrous season last term and Hodgson will have had little time to access the strengths and weaknesses of his own side, and the daily takeover talk will have surely been disturbing him, together with the want-away Mascherano most probably playing and the uncertainty over Torres’ fitness.

Make no mistake, Liverpool rely heavily on Gerrard and Torres. Whilst we start the campaign with several injuries, we appear to have more options, especially in attack and I would say on paper a better team than the opposition.

As with every season, injuries will be a major factor in our quest for the title. We will have a more potent attack now with the introduction of Chamakh , who judging by pre season, is a very versatile and hard working centre forward. Nasri could be our star man. He impressed me tremendously in our warm up games, and if need be will be an able substitute for Fabregas in this opening game. And then of course there is Arshavin, who on his day is a match winner, and has a habit of scoring against the scousers. My gut feeling is that RVP will start and that can only be a good thing, though I wouldn’t be surprised to see Eboue “our super sub” instead of Walcott lining up as he is full of confidence after his brace in Poland and to me it makes sense to keep him in the side.
The defence more or less picks itself and to say our cover is paper thin would be an understatement. Almunia will be back in goal and the fans will be watching his every move. We can only hope that he has an assured game and has finally developed an understanding with the defence.

There are doubts about Denilson,Song and Diaby and Djourou is definitely out. So the intriguing poser is, will Wilshere and Frimpong be thrown into the deep end?
Regardless of the result, we have the makings of a good season ahead. The Premier League will be even more competitive than last, providing our manager adds strength to the squad in the two positions that have been mentioned by armchair experts for months. Remember, the ‘experts’ said no team could afford to lose more than 3 games last season to bag the title –  Chelsea lost six!

As is the norm, there will be much nail biting as the whistle blows to start this campaign, but I remain positive.

COYRRG

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Posted by kelsey

Arsenal’s Phony War is Over.

August 14, 2010

Written by dandan

So the time for talking is done. Preseason training and practice matches are out of the way and the real stuff is about to begin. Many fans will find it hard to sleep tonight especially those of a negative persuasion who struggle to see any good times ahead at all.

But for the Arsenal the last day of the phony war has been brightened by the news that the boss is about to sign a new contract, Aaron Ramsey is making good progress and could be back for the end of October, whilst three of his contemporaries; Theo, Kieran and LJ, are back unscathed from earning their England caps.

No we haven’t signed another new CB and Hughes is playing fast and loose over his goalkeeper as is his way with anything Arsenal. Cesc’s comments re: Sparky’s Spanish skills have never been forgotten, but there are two weeks of the transfer window still left to sort that out. It will only take a couple of new arrivals to cheer many a doubting gooner up.

Sunday is Liverpool day. We have famously won the league there on the last day of the season at a time when the football world gave us no chance. So why shouldn’t we have a good result on the first day of the season? After all, Chamakh, our new centre forward will be keen to show his silky skills to the watching millions as will Laurent Koscielny playing CB alongside TV. He is another player Wenger has plucked from the obscurity of the French league, let’s hope he is as succesful as some of his predecesors.

But the stand out player news for real gooners is that Cesc our inspirational captain has accepted with good grace the clubs refusal to bow to the machievelien tricks of the Barça PR machine and with luck will play tomorrow. His commitment to the cause should never be doubted, whether this be his last year or not.

So it’s good news a plenty. We have a couple of injuries and our gk position has exercised many minds and blogs in recent weeks. It is intriguing therefore to try to name tomorrow’s starting 11, but I will leave that to you fellow gooners to wrestle with today.

I shall sign off with the wish that we at least stay clear of further injuries and play ‘our football’ in the manner that has delighted soccer addicts worldwide for more than ten years. That style has established The Arsenal as the favourite club for neutrals to watch and the second club for most rival fans apart from ‘Arry’s mob down the road.

Come on you Gunners.

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Posted by dandan

Martin O’Neill for Wenger Anyone?

August 11, 2010

Written by dandan

Martin O’Neill, Aston Villa’s much lauded and universally admired manager, has resigned and walked away from Villa Park.

It is generally believed that he left over money. He has spent more than £200m in 4 years. In that time, the wage bill has increased to 85% of turnover and Villa achieved 6th place in the Premiership. Despite being told he could reinvest some of the money he was about to receive for James Milner (reportedly), he still felt that he could not break into the top four without continuing with that level of investment, to bring in new players of equivalent quality and to replace those who leave with greater quality. It appears that this was something the American owner could not sanction in these tough times.

Villa fans are having to live with the realisation that they are unlikely to step up at all this year. In fact, the likelihood is the reverse and a mid table finish is expected to be the inevitable result for the club.

How then would he have fared under the strictures and restraints imposed on Wenger in recent years? Could he have delivered continued participation in the champions league? I think not.

Yet unlike the Villa fans who are sad to see their man go, there is a highly vocal minority of Arsenal fans who would see Wenger leaving as the very least they would wish for.  This for a man who’s insistence on youth and sensible spending has borne fruit, not only in the form of the remarkable facilities the club now boasts, but in the stream of young talent his regime has produced. Many of the emerging players are English. A significant number will be representing their countries this week at all levels right up to full international.

O’Neill is rightly regarded as one of the pick of the home grown managers, a Brian Clough disciple and disciplinarian who has been (with the exception of Norwich) successful wherever he goes. He is shrewd enough to have never been sacked; he leaves when he decides the time is right.

So to you discontented Arsenal fans, I pose the question, is Martin the man to replace Arsène? Should we bite the bullet and replace him now?

But before we do, we need to wish our young guns the best of luck for tonights game. Theo, Jack and Kieron pull on those England shirts and make us gooners proud – tonight we can enjoy watching England again.

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Posted by dandan

Short Backs Versus Tall Sides

August 10, 2010

We have many who blog on this site who feel that we will still sign a goalkeeper and another centre-back. I’m not saying we won’t I just don’t see why we’ve left it so late if that is our intention.

It became apparent to most supporters last season that our first and second choice keepers were not good enough. In the last few games when we were without Gallas and Vermaelen we could also see that our back-up defenders weren’t strong enough either. Arsène himself stated that he would address the defensive frailties with re-inforcements so he let four centre-backs go and bought one. Great! Koscienly may turn out to be a fantastic buy, but at the moment our defense looks paper thin.

Our defending has got worse over the past two seasons – I’m sure someone will come up with some stats to show that I’m talking rubbish but what I do know is that the tension at the Emirates is palpable when we are defending set pieces. It seems the crowd and the players share that insecurity. Most teams know we are weak in that area and seek to take full advantage. It is a crude strategy, but it works. When Sol ‘Lazarus’ Campbell reappeared in January, the confidence grew and we were noticeably stronger at the back – but what now?

We are a short team. Short in stature, and mostly light in build. Arsène prefers ‘athletes’ rather than cloggers and I can appreciate his preference if we want to play the beautiful football. Sadly, the tall players we do have are not good enough to be effective when defending corners or free kicks into our box. Instead of  having just two on the posts maybe we should have four on the line plus a flapper.

Of our taller players, I would say that only Robin van Persie is a reliable force – he’ll get a header away or clear the ball out of the danger zone but how many times have we watched tippy-tappy football going on in or around the box instead of getting the ball out. Clichy has been guilty of it and Djourou is the latest one to choose to show off his footballing skills at a time when a solid clearance is the better option. I’m not saying we should ‘kick and hope’, that just gives the ball straight back to the opposition and then we’re under pressure from a new wave of attacks, but just keeping it simple and solid at the back.

I’m no fan of Allardyce-style hoofing, but the time spent keeping the ball around our area allows the oppostion to press high up the pitch and if we lose possession, we are in trouble. We just don’t know how to defend anymore and Arsène led us to believe that he realised that too and he was going to bring in new blood. I thought he promised Cesc and van Persie that that was what he was going to be doing – he was going to make us stronger, no wonder Cesc thought it was time to move on.

The hot news this week is that we’re in for Shay Given again and that the Spahic deal wasn’t a hoax. I heard weeks ago that Anton Ferdinand was a target – how ambitious is that!!!!!!! and he’s only 6′. If we want to challenge for honours this season and for seasons in the future we need to be able to match our opposition in some of their strengths – we need a bit more height and strength when defending.

It doesn’t matter how many goals we’re able to score, if we can’t hold on to a lead and see out a game, sadly,  we’re going to fail again.

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Posted by peachesgÖÖner

Arsenal in Tatters

August 9, 2010

Why is everyone worried about our squad for this season? We have 4 world class keepers, the envy of every other side and they will be rotated so that they all play once every 5 games, to keep them fresh and on their toes.

We have Sagna and Eboue who absolutely love each other and they have formed a pact so there is no bitterness whoever plays. Then we have Clichy and Gibbs. Clichy is changing his nationality to Ukrainian as he is embarrassed to be French and he knows that Gibbs will soon be taking over, yes an English left back,heavens forbid,therefore watch for an imminent departure by Clichy.

Song, our most improved player, will surely be in demand by some other club soon, most probably City, with a swap plus cash for the return of Adebayor. Vermaelen should be captain and he is the lynch pin and if he doesn’t get the armband he will demand a transfer, as Cesc has already told him privately that the armband is his.

If we’re lucky Djourou might actually complete one match while Koscielny will come goodif we give him three or four seasons. Traore, can’t go back to Pompey as they are nearly bust. Diaby is fighting fit, therefore expect at least 5 games from him, and I am told he is trying his very best not to break a team-mate’s leg.

Rosicky is only 30 so has at least 6 or 7 years left. Nasri is a star and has progressed so much pre season that another club will rape us yet again for his services. Wilshere at 18 is a future captain of England though he might get the record for the most red cards in a season.

Denilson like Bendtner has been on the nest too much and both will suffer terminal groin strains. Walcott has just realised that the England team he hopes to represent is in fact at football not the 2012 Olympics 100 metres sprint.

Arshavin will spend more time on his own web site and will finish up with his own chat show between games, as he never gets out of a stroll.

Vela wins the glamour stakes but will he actually get two consecutive games as commuting on a daily basis from Mexico will surely take its toll. Chamakh is everything we wished for and no worries about him as yet, as he hasn’t learned the ropes at Arsenal.

Gallas has decided it is better to play for us at 5K a week even if he scores the odd own goal. RVP is our star player, will  he, can he, please, last a full season and of course Ramsey will be fit and ready to go in about 18 months.

Footnote: Gibbs,Wilshere and Walcott have made it into the England squad for Wednesday, so they are sure to be rested for a few weeks as we have to limit the younger players’ chances .

Finally there is Fabregas. Watch this space.

Written by kelsey

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