Poetic Justice does exist – Leicester Player Ratings

My old man used to bang on about justice to me when I was a kid. By the time I’d reached my teens, I had categorically realised that it is an abstract notion which does not, in reality, exist in any tangible form.

How beautiful it is when rare moments in this cruel and random world actually make it appear that poetic justice, karma, poor behaviour getting its comeuppance etc do have some outward manifestation, however imaginary.

Leicester have certainly returned to their shape and structure of last season. Ten men behind the ball as often as possible, hoof the ball up to Steptoe to chase whenever the opportunity to swing a size 11 boot presents itself. Don’t get me wrong, they did have a few sniffs at goal, largely from Arsenal-inspired breakdowns of possession, referee-inspired dubious free kicks anywhere in our half and even from some revolting, Delap-like trebuchet missiles. However their negative anti-football in the second half, purely designed to win them a point, got them exactly what was deserved – sweet Fanny Adams.

The first half was pretty tedious it has to be said. The personnel changes to our new system took some bedding in. We attempted to give Crisp Advertisers FC some golden opportunities with dodgy back flicks, poor GK clearances and other examples of sloppy play.

Our two best chances I can remember came from a Gabs’ near post header which nearly fell to our new striker, Nacho and the outstanding moment of the half when Sanchez crashed the ball against the bar with Schmeichel floundering just before the break.

The second half was a procession towards the North Bank goal. The Leicester defence dropped deeper, their half-time talk was obviously about wasting even more time and killing any entertainment the fairly sparse crowd had bothered to turn up in the hope of seeing. Unwittingly they were just the stooges in their own downfall, building the platform for an epic final 10 minutes.

The strangest challenge of the whole game was when the Leicester defender with the incandescent bonce decided he’d use Giroud as a climbing frame. How on earth Mike Jones didn’t see that as a red card only Mike Riley knows.

The goal, when it finally came, was beautiful in its grotesque manifestation. My brother had spent large parts of the second half repeating the mantra, ‘we must clear Huth’ every time we had a free-kick, corner or cross. For Nacho to smash it wide of the goal but not wide of Huth’s massive gut and the ball to cannon into the back of the net, became such a glorious vindication of my old man’s belief in the idea that people should get what’s owed them.

Those who left early not only missed the beautiful post goal celebrations but also a Mike Jones Brian Rix-inspired farce of epic proportions. (When I commented after the game about it being like a Brian Rix farce at the end, Ant wondered why I was on about Graham Rix).

Previously Ulloa had left the pitch when substituted as if he had bound feet, each step moving him forward six inches at the most. Now the Leicester defender with the shiny head, Bennylooanus or something, was subbed and he sprinted off. Every person left in the ground with a red and white heart, howled with derision. So funny.

Then the farce reached new heights when Sanchez stood in front of Fooks readying to launch another long throw into the box. Mike Jones did not ask Sanchez to retreat but encouraged Fooks to get on with the throw. Eventually Fooks’ petulance got the better of him and he simply threw the ball directly at the Chilean. It was clearly intended to cause a few lost teeth and so we were astonished when the ref failed to send off the Leicester player but instead booked Alexis for deciding he needed to closely inspect the fine partly-artificial weave of the Emirates turf. The melee involved most of the players on the pitch including both keepers.

Yeah sure, we believe you

Leicester’s final chance also seemed scripted for Mack Sennett’s keystone cops, bodies flying everywhere followed by Schmeichel and several players in blue chasing the hapless referee.

The 4 minutes injury time morphed into 6 or 7 with all the mayhem, but justified victory was finally and beautifully achieved when the ref thought he’d better blow before someone grabbed his shorts and yanked them to his ankles.

Ratings

Cech – Poor kicking, magnificent save from Mahrez ……7

Gabriel – Silky skills on the ball and a fearsome warrior in defence ……7

Koscielny – Cool, calm, composed Captain. Seemed to recover from a knock in the 2nd half – we need him on Sunday ……8

Monreal – Looked fine as part of a back three and his half-volley against Huth’s belly a thing of rare beauty….8

Gibbs – Gibbo looked a little short of match practice understandably. Covered well for Nacho …..7

Bellerin – Cornrows gone, back to man bun. Wing back could suit him down to the ground. Crossing/delivery into the box needs to improve ….7

Coquelin – Fighting every step of the way. You just cannot fault his commitment …….8

Xhaka – The new formation suits him as he has more cover behind, so can look forward instead. Lovely to watch in possession…..8

Ozil – Struggled to break down a resolutely tedious defence but never let that stop him trying…..7

Walcott – Really weak, struggled to get out of Hector’s way for most of the game. If he doesn’t score, he’s pretty redundant …..5

 Sanchez – Gave away possession, smacked the bar with a beauty and then rivalled Rivaldo for a Bafta  …..7

chas

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185 Responses to Poetic Justice does exist – Leicester Player Ratings

  1. chas says:

    RC78’s comment from previous post….

    RC78 says:
    April 27, 2017 at 9:46 am
    So I watched the game last night and for sure:
    – let us get rid of Gabriel
    – let us demand more of Ramsey because he has the engine and the skills to be an excellent box-to-box
    – Monreal could stay but as a back-up option if a we stayed in a back 3 – he could play on the left

    – I am ok to sell Ozil and I am not ok to sell Sanchez
    – Sanchez needs a target CF to play off from as he is only very dangerous then. Whether it is Giroud or Wellbeck, it is up to AW but Sanchez does not work well with Walcott at as a CF.

    – Wellbeck is looking sharp – it is nice to see
    – We can be frustrating at times – toying around with the ball in the opponent’s half – we need to create space for Xhaka, Ramsey and Sahcnez to take long shots. Also our WBs need to shoot more.
    – Playing 3 at the back is helping us cope defensively
    – Mahrez and Drinkwater are quality players.
    – Hope that Koscielny will be OK

  2. Matt says:

    I disagree with some of your opinions above. Gabriel was fantastic and Coq was everwhere, Coq of old. Ramsey is absolutely”shite”, always doing stupid things as well as giving up the ball, he in not good enough just like Walcott. If if wasnt for TW and AR being Wengers love childs and British they would and should be gone

  3. mickydidit89 says:

    Chas

    Thank you very much. That is a beautifully crafted match report with so many amusing and witty lines. Loved it, and as always, it’s so nice to hear a report from a match goer. Thanks again.

    I would give one more point to Granit as I think he was our MOTM.

    I’ve read two views on Coquelin. One negative and one positive from Matt above. During the game I commented on how I liked the Granit/Coq pairing, and I wonder how much Granit’s display was built on having Coquelin alongside.

  4. Rasp says:

    Brilliant chas … that MR is right up there with Rocky’s … some great lines .. you’d better be careful or you’ll be getting the job permanently 🙂

    I didn’t watch the match live but the feeling is unanimous that we deserved to win …. the coverage in the media however (Talkshite) is that it was all about Sanchez’s ‘simulation’.

    The fact is that they should have had 2 red cards; 1 for the assault on Giroud, and 1 for violent conduct against Sanchez. Beckham got sent off in the WC for swinging a leg at a player, last night a player tried to hurt Sanchez by deliberately throwing a ball in his face with considerable force …. and the ref penalises the victim??

  5. Darran says:

    Poetic Justice?
    Great report if a little one sided, but where is the justice coming from? Leicester did have a go, and yes have reverted to getting men behind the ball, and attacking on the break, but if I remember rightly, this won them the league title, and in the latter stages of the Champions League, got them to the QF.
    As for Sanchez, Fuchs protested twice to the ref, and the third/fourth official that he was obstructing his throw, (he needs to be 2m clear) which clearly had got Arsenal worried, as Mahrez came close to scoring from one in the first half, but they did nothing, the fact is that he attempted to take the throw, it hit Sally Sanchez, and he went down, after taking several steps like the preverbal sack of Chilean Spuds… Simple booking for Sally, free kick for Leicester. Having said all that well done to Arsenal on an 87th minute deflected winner against the Champions of England, and hopefully your crowd will swell, once they realise you are chasing european qualification :0

  6. GunnerN5 says:

    Chas, that was a very witty and enjoyable assessment of the game. I love 3 points no matter how we get them but an in off of their main bully made them special.

    I’m surprised at the lack of comments about Sanchez as he was unusually poor until he was switched to the left, it looked like he was was making a huge effort to let AW know that he was not happy about being used as a CF.

    So far in the 3 back system I feel that Xhaka and Gabriel have both excelled. Yesterday even by his own poor standards Walcott was just terrible

  7. GunnerN5 says:

    Every replay I’ve watched showed the ball bouncing off of the point of Sanchez’s shoulder – at best it made him bite his own lip – in anger.

  8. GunnerN5 says:

    But wherever the ball hit it was still a red card as the ball was deliberately thrown at Sanchez.

  9. jjgsol says:

    Thanks for your report. I also did not see the game and will look at the highlights with interest.

    I remember Viera being sent off for waving a leg at Van Nistelroy and missing.

    If one player pushes another down, off the ball, for example, is that not a sending off offence? That happened to Diaby in the famous Newcastle 4 -4, although, if my memory serves me right, Newcastle’s main player was the ref,

    Why is throwing the ball deliberately at another player, no matter where he hits him, when he could and should have thrown it up, which is what he would have done anyway, had Sanchez not been there, in order to get the distance he was looking for,

    Deliberate and dangerous foul, which was also most likely to have been a common assault as well, for which he would be entitled to be prosecuted.

    I feel that there is a difference between the defensive stance that we took on Sunday and that which Leicester and so many other teams take against us.

    In the former, we have no choice because the Pep way of playing means that his teams retain possession, come what may.

    Placing 10 men behind the ball, when you could do otherwise,and relying on counter attacks only, is common nowadays, but is turning our main sport away from a spectator one, to one where the result is all that matters.

    Agreed, that AW tried to develop the same style with us, but he did not succeed, because he could not get the necessary players to bring it off.

    As usual, the Times downgraded our players and upgraded the losing opposition. So they gave Xhaka 4 for his efforts.

  10. jjgsol says:

    According to the Times, the broken lip was as a result of a previous incident.

  11. mickydidit89 says:

    jjgsol

    Common assault? Prosecuted? Seriously?

    He had a football thrown at him and went down like a baby. Sorry, as I really like Sanchez, but it was pathetic and cheating.

  12. Rasp says:

    Agreed about the cheating Micky, but this was a long throw expert who can throw the ball with considerable force. Sanchez is 5ft 6in, the trajectory of the throw would have been way over Sanchez’s head. He deliberately threw it at Sanchez so that can only be viewed as violent conduct and therefore a red card. The laws of the game are very clear on this. Technically it should have been a red for the Leicester player and a yellow for Sanchez.

  13. mickydidit89 says:

    Rasp

    It was a red card, no doubt at all, but I would have given Sanchez a red card also.

  14. Rasp says:

    I’m not sure a red card is the designated penalty for simulation … if it is then I’d agree with you …. having said that, Sanchez wouldn’t have had the opportunity to play act if the player hadn’t first tried to throw the ball in his face.

  15. mickydidit89 says:

    Simulation 🙂

    Just say it….cheating. He was hit by the deadly missile on his shoulder, but collapsed holding his face 🙂

  16. Eddie says:

    AND he was still touching his ugly gob tenderly for the rest of the game! Very poor acting

  17. Eddie says:

    Revolting Delap. And 5 for Theo

    When my son started saying ‘it’s not fair’ I always asked him ‘who told you life was fair? I didnt’. But I’ve changed my mind – what comes around, goes around, no doubt about it, Huth’s OG or not

  18. Big Raddy says:

    Cracking read Chas. Had me laughing out loud (much to the concern of Mrs R)

    I think you are a little generous with your ratings. Gibbs was to my mind superfluous and added little to the team, Walcottt gets 1 for turning up.

    The chap with the incandescent bonce was very fortunate that he didn’t do that to a real man and not a FFP. Awful foul.

    Sanchez may be a terrific little chap but last night his passing was dreadful.

  19. Big Raddy says:

    If we are talking red cards. Vardy should get one for being so ugly.

  20. Zed says:

    Chas, Chas, Chas at last you have come out – and shown what many of us have always known – you are a little master of the footballing homily.

    I loved your review, and, as the Rasper declared, it is on a par with the wonderful essays Rocky used to bestow on us – and to which I would only add, the articles by Mystic Kelsey Meg – especially when he had not seen the game.Magnifico! 🙂

    As far as ‘justice’ goes, it is usually a formulaic way of expressing the need to uphold what is good and the administering of punishment for evil, which in a footballing context requires the ref to dish out chastisement, or a yellow or a red card to stop a mini-riot if fans think they are being short changed.

    A case in point concerning justice was raised by jjgsol — “I remember Viera being sent off for waving a leg at Van Nistelroy and missing.”
    Obviously Vieira was in the wrong for waving a leg – as it was not his – but the ensuing punishment was for missing Van Nistelroy – which was unforgivable.

    Finally, what happened to the cavalier Mickish? To cavil at the very sensible action by Alexis in trying to stop some feckless yob hurling the ball into Row Z on the opposite side of the ground was a very great public service deserving of a round of applause, not castigation.

    Lovely stuff, Chas, and maybe we can hear from Ant as well? 🙂

  21. Zed says:

    I did not see the match and have not yet seen any highlights either, but if it helps the discussion of the Sanchez Incident perhaps I can proffer Law 12 to help matters along.

    The IFAB Laws of the Game: Law 12

    A player is cautioned if guilty of:

    — delaying the restart of play
    –dissent by word or action
    –entering, re-entering or deliberately leaving the field of play without the referee’s permission
    –failing to respect the required distance when play is restarted with a corner kick, free kick or throw-in
    –persistent infringement of the Laws of the Game (no specific number or pattern of infringements constitutes “persistent”)
    –unsporting behaviour

    Alexis may have been guilty of one or both of the highlighted ‘fouls’, and the punishment would be a yellow fellow.

    A Sending Off Offence, is where a player is guilty of;

    Violent conduct is when a player uses or attempts to use excessive force or brutality against an opponent when not challenging for the ball, or against a team-mate, team official, match official, spectator or any other person, regardless of whether or not contact is made.

    The feckless yob should have had a red card!

  22. Big Raddy says:

    MC or MU or the draw?

    I think it highly unlikely we will get Top 4 so an MC win for me.

    Is it really true that if MU win the Europa it will only be Top 3 in the CL?

  23. Eddie says:

    yes Raddy. Thursday footy guaranteed.

  24. Zed says:

    Hi Raddy,

    My understanding is that the top 4 will qualify for the CL.
    If Manure winch Europa, and finish outside the top 4, they will go through as well [5 in all].

    If they win the Europa and get into the top 4 — the top 4 including Manure go through.

    I am happy to be corrected! 🙂

  25. GunnerN5 says:

    Raddy I would prefer a Man C win because, as unrealistic as it is, Man U and Liverpool are the two teams who we have an outside chance of beating to a top 4 position. For that to happen we need to have a perfect ending to the season and both Man U and Pool need to drop some points. I do see them dropping points but I cannot see us winning 6 on the trot – especially with the NLD next up.

  26. mickydidit89 says:

    Damn

    I’ve been doing some sums based on other people’s (bookies) sums to decide what result is best for our top four chances, and you lot have beaten me to it

    GN5 is correct. A Man City win gives us the best chance

  27. mickydidit89 says:

    RA
    When you speak of your desire to be corrected, might it involve being Chastized and does that in turn involve Chas

  28. Zed says:

    Micky,

    Everything involves Chas — he deserves to be debagged as a matter of urgency!! 😀

  29. Ant says:

    A draw, a draw and nothing but a draw..obviously!

    My role is one involving imbibing liquids and nothing more.

  30. mickydidit89 says:

    I’m in especially buoyant mood as I cancelled a meeting in Hertfordshire for tomorrow

    The reply email stated said meeting was today

    Bingo, four day weekend

  31. chas says:

    Thanks for the kind comments even if some are well over the top to get me to do more match reports. 🙂

    Darran @12.34
    I doubt you’ll be back but the second paragraph did finish with the word ‘imaginary’ as regards poetic justice etc. Draw your own conclusions.

  32. chas says:

    As far as the permutations for European qualification are concerned, I looked into it the other day and this was the clearest explanation I could find, though I wish it had gone into each club individually instead of just focussing on what the mancs do.

    Can anyone precis it for me as I’m still not 100% sure if I understand it?

    https://www.premierleague.com/news/373663

  33. GunnerN5 says:

    Not the least bit kind Chas the compliments you received were richly deserved.

  34. mickydidit89 says:

    Can Utd still lose the Europa ie who’s left
    Haven’t they got Gwent or some pushover?

  35. mickydidit89 says:

    Mmm Ajax or Lyon any cop?

  36. chas says:

    Isn’t Gwent in Welsh Wales?

  37. mickydidit89 says:

    GN5

    If we won our two games in hand, then we have to match whatever Pool do over the final four games and then it’d be goal difference

    We would need a City win tonight and us to beat Utd though

  38. mickydidit89 says:

    Absolutely no idea Chas

  39. mickydidit89 says:

    Mind you, sounds about right

  40. mickydidit89 says:

    Hande Hoch who’s watching tonight

  41. Eddie says:

    not me, I am celebrating

  42. fatgingergooner says:

    The way I see it we just have to match Liverpool and better their GD. I can’t see United getting top 4 outright with the fixtures they have left and with them concentrating on EL. If we can win 5 out of 6 that gives us a great chance. We play United in between their 2 EL games with them having about 3 days rest so that’s a very winnable game. The ones I worry about are Stoke, Southampton and Spurs away. Liverpool could do us a real favour by losing a couple of their remaining games and giving us some wriggle room.

    United winning EL has no impact on top 4 now that Leicester are out of CL.

  43. Big Raddy says:

    Seems as though there is no definite answer as to the Top 4.

    I still want MC to win but that is because I detest Me-rinho who gets worse every year.

  44. Eddie says:

    “now that Leicester are out of CL” – fattie!! did you think they were going to win it or something ha ha ha ha ha

  45. mickydidit89 says:

    Celebrating Eddie?

  46. Zed says:

    Chas,

    re your request for a précis of the CL qualification — I have read the link you posted — it does not change my 6 p.m. view.

    a) — [Top 4 PL all qualify [3 to group stages + 1 to knock out round] as a minimum.]

    b) — If Manure win the 2016/17 EL — and they are also in the top 4, then all 4 go thru to the group stages. [4 PL teams]

    c) — If Manure win the 2016/17 EL but are not in the Top 4 — the top 3 go thru to the group stages with Manure — and the 4th placed team goes into the qualifying round. [Possible 5 PL teams]

    There are ifs/ands affecting last years CL winners if they do not qualify this year – and whether or not Manure win the EL, but do or do not finish in the Top 4 affects who gets into the EL next year — but basically a) or b) or c) are the numbers of PL teams qualifying for the knock out rounds or direct group stages.

    Hope that helps. 🙂

  47. Big Raddy says:

    Boring game, so far

  48. mickydidit89 says:

    c) clears it up
    Thanks RA

  49. Big Raddy says:

    RA. This means that it makes no difference if MU win the EL, does it not?

  50. Eddie says:

    yes micky, 58 years gone, only a few more left

  51. mickydidit89 says:

    Erik
    Are you in one of your difficult moods? 🙂
    Maybe the lack of goals

  52. mickydidit89 says:

    It’s your birthday??? Why the heck did you not mention it

  53. mickydidit89 says:

    Actually I remember asking a mate how old on his birthday and he replied “40, thank fuck not long to go now” 🙂

  54. jjgsol says:

    Whether you like it, throwing a football at someone’s body with the intention to cause harm is an assault.

    I do not think that a court would have difficulty in proving intent here.

    Even touching someone without permission can be an assault.

    So whether he hit him in the face or the shoulder, or whether the ball bounced off his shoulder onto his head or over, is irrelevant. It was thrown at him with the intention to cause harm.

  55. Big Raddy says:

    Eddie. The nation of Denmark wish you a very happy birthday.

    May you have a healthy and happy year to come

  56. mickydidit89 says:

    jjgsol

    I know that technically everything you say is correct, but it really pisses me off seeing someone doing what Sanchez did, and I guess worse because he’s one of our own.

    Apologies if I appeared to jump down your throat.

  57. mickydidit89 says:

    Eddie
    Would you like us to see if we could get Transplant to pop over as a birthday present from us all
    (I think he may be a toucher though. Eeeks 🙂 )

  58. mickydidit89 says:

    Ahhhh Chas, that’s lovely

  59. chas says:

    Eddie
    Do you fancy having some of these in Cuffley?

    This is where nephew Matt lives in the U.S.

    http://www.denverpost.com/2017/04/22/three-mountain-lion-cubs-to-be-relocated-from-north-boulder/

  60. Eddie says:

    ha ha ha ha 🙂 🙂 thank you all

    but I genuinely don’t like my birthdays, never have
    /

  61. Eddie says:

    mountain lion cubs!! OMG, how amazing!!
    Mind you, today I am sick to my back teeth of nature. Collected my bees from Rasp, bitches nearly stung me to death. The hallway is full of bodies, I won.

  62. mickydidit89 says:

    he he he I guess that means no Fellaini against us

  63. mickydidit89 says:

    well, how many games for two yellows as opposed to straight red?

  64. chas says:

    violent conduct 3 games

  65. Rasp says:

    I think that was a straight red … so 3 games 🙂

  66. Big Raddy says:

    I thought it was a straight red.

    Dreadful game. MU play the most boring football under their awful manager.

    No doubt he will be proud of his players who have learned how to PTB.

  67. Rasp says:

    Hmmm … what a bore …. didn’t help us unfortunately 😦

  68. mickydidit89 says:

    no goals
    complete bastards 🙂

  69. mickydidit89 says:

    I guess it helped us a bit more than a Utd win

    Gnite and Happy Birthday Eddie

  70. fatgingergooner says:

    Did you think they were going to win the PL Eddie!?

    Whilst Leicester were in the CL there was a still a chance that 4th would be a EL place rather than a CL place. That was my point!

    How shit was that game. Good result for us as both teams dropping 2 points. 5 wins and I think we get top 4.

  71. fatgingergooner says:

    City max 80 points
    United max 79 points
    Arsenal max 78 points
    Liverpool max 78 points.

    2 spaces up for grabs means It’s all to play for.

  72. fatgingergooner says:

    I’ve questioned our solidity at times and wondered if we would be better off with a manager like Simeone who might make us hard to beat. After watching that utter shite from United tonight, I’ve decided I am wrong. I would rather see Wenger using common sense and put 3 at the back to make us more solid whilst keeping his attacking philosophy than watch the rubbish United put out tonight.

  73. Red Arnie says:

    ha ha ha ha. brilliant report, Chas. 🙂

    The highlights for me were:

    1. Giro’s celebration of the goal by trying to take Huth from behind.
    2. Belated goal celebration by Alexis diving to the ground in slow motion.

    Onwards and upwards. 🙂

  74. Red Arnie says:

    happy birthday Eddie, xxx

  75. chas says:

  76. chas says:

  77. Red Arnie says:

    motning Chas, motning all.

    pooh. deteriorating performance, aka passing accuracy. sell him this summer. 😦

  78. chas says:

    Hey Beardie, how’s it hangin?

    Where are you in the world at the mo?
    I just spun my globe, stuck a pin in and it came up with the middle of the Paciific.
    Correct?

  79. chas says:

  80. mickydidit89 says:

    De Niro / Joe Strummer 🙂

  81. mickydidit89 says:

    FGG 12:03

    So true. I’m already dreading the Utd game, or should I say, Mourinho game. Smug little turd.

  82. Eddie says:

    dismal state of affaird if we are worried about Fellaini

  83. mickydidit89 says:

    Steady Eddie, you’re having a go at my comment 🙂

    I think he’s a very influential player for them, and highly intimidating for the wetter opposition player, and let’s face it, we have one or two of them

  84. Eddie says:

    wet players? wet team bar Koscielny

  85. mickydidit89 says:

    Oh I’d add Monreal, Granit, Coquelin and now The Ox to the dry list

    Soaking wets: Ollie, Theo, Ramsey 🙂

    Damps: 🙂

  86. mickydidit89 says:

    Ah Gabs, he’s an interesting one. Was soaking wet but appears to have really dried up since the three formation

  87. Big Raddy says:

    Morning All,

    6.35. De Gea?

  88. Big Raddy says:

    Are you calling Mad Dog Gabriel wet?

  89. Red Arnie says:

    ha ha, Chas. I am doing OK, in sconny Botland at the moment. that would be middle of the Pacific, yes!

    suffering with a very bad shoulder. with the NHS gone to docks, very bad! otherwise, well and fine.

    oh, and except for mourning the loss of St Totts day! 🙂

  90. mickydidit89 says:

    Yes Erik. Well, he was.
    Always whimping out of tackles.
    As I said, he’s really dried out

  91. chas says:

    ‘NHS gone to the docks’ sounds a peculiarly Scottish phrase. 🙂

  92. Red Arnie says:

    tits up? 🙂

    I notice that the door to Room 101 is bolted shut! or, maybe P’s M is on vacation. 🙂

  93. chas says:

    Dogs, man.

  94. Red Arnie says:

    well, seriously though, suffering with severe tendon and muscular injuries since Feb 2016, consultan appt requested in June 2016, still waiting. tried to go private in Dec 2016, with temporary relief, cannot afford to go private again. such is life! 🙂

    apols for the non-footie rant!

  95. chas says:

    A friend had a bone spur in his shoulder rubbing on a nerve. Took two and a half years to find. Physio was useless. Needed lasering.

  96. Big Raddy says:

    My experience of physio’s is that they are the equivalent of David Moyes … talk a good game but are effing useless

  97. chas says:

    Don’t tell GoonerB that. 🙂

  98. chas says:

    GoonerB?

  99. Red Arnie says:

    ha ha ha. feeling better already. 🙂

  100. Big Raddy says:

    Beardie. I have foot /ankle problems. Went to the Danish doc, he sent me to a specialist whom I saw just 3 days later. Was referred to hospital for blood tests and ultrasound and have an appointment on Tuesday. Less than two weeks in total and all free

    The answer to your problems is to move here 😀

  101. Red Arnie says:

    yes, Raddy. fair enough. 🙂

  102. Zed says:

    Chas @ 9:19

    — “Physio was useless. Needed lasering.”

    That was a bit harsh wasn’t it. He may have been a very nice man.

  103. chas says:

    I meant the exercises were useless not the camel wormer.

  104. chas says:

    Who’s the one doing most of the moving forward in this?

  105. RC78 says:

    Hypothesis – we keep a 3-4-3 next season.
    Who would you like to see as your:
    – Back 3 – starters + Back 3 back up
    – Wingbacks – 2 starters + 2 back up
    – Your DM + CM starter + 2 back up

    You are allowed 1 recruit per line – make the recruit a feasible one 🙂

  106. chas says:

    Positively dismal.

  107. mickydidit89 says:

    RC

    Are we allowed to be elastic with your rules, and opt to put all the cash on one player?

  108. Ant says:

  109. GoonerB says:

    Us Camel wormers are not overly keen on these so called physio types, they tend to give you the hump. In addition their little electrical gadgets and probes are pathetic. Us wormers have far longer more impressive devices with greater penetrative ability and superior voltage levels. Also wormers get government subsidies if you are prepared to lend your devices to the local conservative clubs for their weekly masked balls (no euphemism intended).

    Given up Y-fronts now. Only the best galvanised steel codpiece with 5 lever mortice lock for me from now on.

  110. Big Raddy says:

    GB. FairPlay 😀

    11.18. Tough. Is it Victoria Beckham?

  111. chas says:

  112. RC78 says:

    micky – your call

  113. Big Raddy says:

    RC. I would like to see us buy a left back, preferably around 22 y.0. with similar skill set to Bellerin but bigger.

    A proper DM. At least 1.80m, in the PV4 mould.

    And a goal scoring right winger, though with luck, Lucas Perez may fit that bill.

  114. Big Raddy says:

    BTW. I am travelling this w/e and am unable to do the Spurs PM (which is a major p-off).

    Whomever gets this plum post, please do not hold back with the abuse of the over-hyped, sexually-inadequate, preening tarts who wear the skinny cock.

  115. GoonerB says:

    Hey, you just leave skinny cock’s out of it Raddy. This site doesn’t tolerate persecution. Have a good weekend all the same. Which commune is it this time? Don’t forget your tambourine.

    RC, I would love to come back to you, and probably will, but need a tad more time to devise my master-plan.

  116. Big Raddy says:

    GB – May 1st. North of Dk for some beach bonfires and Spring ceremonies.

    Just the usual … some pillaging, a little hows-you-father and a gourd or two of mead.

  117. GoonerB says:

    The activities sound great Raddy….not taking the wife then?

  118. chas says:

  119. GunnerN5 says:

    Devastated – A very sad day today!
    After years of medical training and extremely hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and now can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort and money. A genuinely nice guy and a wonderful funeral director.

  120. Ant says:

  121. Ant says:

  122. Ant says:

  123. VP of Oz says:

    2nd signing after Sead Kolasinac?
    Arsenal legend Robert Pires says his former club will sign talented teenager Kylian Mbappe from Monaco.
    and at only $100mil, another astute bargain.

    Morning all. Finally caught up with all the reading. Onwards and Upwards.

  124. VP of Oz says:

    And as for violent conduct/assault comments on the throw-in/sanchez incident, this is my two cents worth (I think that equates to 2 shillings in England) – if that incident was violent then what does that say about a whole generation of kids that played poison ball at school.

  125. Quality chas

    There was some funny incidents during that match but reading Ant confused Brian Rix with Graham cracked me up. I’ve met both men. Brian was a lovely man who championed the cause of Mencap, whilst Graham was so far up his arse, Brian would have recommended a Lobotomy.

    That Sanchez incident? I believe I know the reason he went down. When I was a kid I was playing football down the park against my will, the other kids needed a goalpost, when some big lump smashed a shot in my direction. Fearing for my safety, I moved inside so the shot went wide.

    The geezer went mad, accusing me of moving the goalposts and been crap at woodwork. Whilst aggressively approaching he threw the ball at me, this time hitting the bar, so I went down feigning a coma..

    Confused, he and another kid picked me up and placed me back as one of the posts. Five miniutes later the berk tried a thunderous Brian Talbot 30 yarder heading straight for me so as though Robin Williams had given me medication, I remarkably pulled out of my coma and legged it.

    He started chasing but was pulled back by a teammate saying it wasn’t worth it, the ball was heading for my head so it was another 66 Hurst scenario

    Perhaps the same thing happened to Sanchez?

  126. chas mobile says:

    On the road early with Ant driving to Glasgow to see a punk bash called Scotland Calling.

    Won’t be around to volunteer for pre-match duties for the NLD.
    Have fun, Up The Arse.

  127. chas mobile says:

    Me looking forward to the 5 hour car journey.

  128. mickydidit89 says:

    Have a good time Chas
    Sounds horrendous. Watch out for Glaswegian Punks, they’re all wife beating junkies, but you knew that 🙂

  129. mickydidit89 says:

    VP 10.01
    Don’t start that one about pansies again, I got myself into enough trouble 🙂

  130. chas mobile says:

  131. chas mobile says:

  132. mickydidit89 says:

    The A66 is a major road in Northern England, which in part follows the course of the Roman road from Scotch Corner to Penrith. It runs from east of Middlesbrough in the ceremonial county of North Yorkshire to Workington in Cumbria

    I need more than that to work on Chas, and pictures of far off sheep aren’t that useful either

  133. mickydidit89 says:

    8:39

    Sanchez? Ollie? This is better

  134. chas mobile says:

    Tank crossing!

  135. mickydidit89 says:

    Urrr, no Chas, war zone
    Tell Ant to step on it

  136. chas mobile says:

    15 minutes to Spoons breakfast stop in Penrith at the The Dog Beck hostelry.
    Expect photos of beans, the work of the devil.

  137. chas mobile says:

    Where’s Mrs Dismal?

  138. chas mobile says:

  139. chas mobile says:

  140. mickydidit89 says:

    Mmm, that plate poses the usual full English (with American strap on) combinations dilemma

    Personally, I like to separate the sausage early doors, as I use it during the transitional phase from savoury to sweet. That is to say, the repas ends with toast and sweet topping, while the sausage and marmalade becomes the bridge between the two ends.

  141. chas mobile says:

    I’ve never considered dipping my sausage in the marmalade pot. Might have to give it a go.

  142. mickydidit89 says:

    Oh Chas, you’re in for such a treat
    Think Duck a l’orange or even our own Cumberland sauce

  143. mickydidit89 says:

    Never dip in front of female staff. Easily offended some of them these days

  144. mickydidit89 says:

    ok, back outside to me bonfire

  145. Eddie says:

    I love full English, especially when served abroad. The Micks do it best with black pudding yum yum yum

    the band’s ad looks well perverted. I wonder why you are going? was it Ameise’s idea?

    met Kyle Walker’s girlfriend again, she said he is in training focusing hard. bastard.

  146. chas mobile says:

  147. chas mobile says:

  148. VP of Oz says:

    So Moanarinho is complaining about too many fixtures compared to the likes of Liverpool in the battle for top 4. What does that say about his good friend Arsene who does it every year

  149. GoonerB says:

    I might regret saying this but I will see if I can do a PM in the absence of the professionals. Will need to have it done later today so if I do run out of time I may need to ask for an emergency back-up.

  150. Rasp says:

    Excellent GB ….gratefully accepted 🙂

  151. Eddie says:

    oooh, that was a terrific fight last night. Well done Joshua, excellent result

  152. VP of Oz says:

    great article Peaches

  153. Eddie says:

    thanks peaches something to read on the plane
    Let me guess – the author is a Gunner?

  154. mickydidit89 says:

    THAT was a good night’s sleep

    Morning all. Fine day for thrashing the neighbours

  155. mickydidit89 says:

    By this evening the gap between Chavs and Spuds could either be 7 points, or just 1.

    Best we do our bit to ensure the day ends as it must

  156. mickydidit89 says:

    GB said he’d ask for back up if he was going to choose the lazy option. Have we heard from him?

    ie what time can we talk team selection?

    I have a canoe to drive once coffee and eggs session is complete 🙂

  157. He’s just told me ……. soon 🙂

    I’m on the lookout

  158. mickydidit89 says:

    Does the sun shine in North London today Peaches
    Turned to rain down here which is good news for river work

  159. GoonerB says:

    Done it Micky. Sorry it is a bit late but the sun rises later in Hertfordshire than Copenhagen 🙂

  160. GoonerB says:

    Mind you there are more annoying Cockerels crowing around these parts.

  161. It’s in, I’ll be as quick as I can

  162. mickydidit89 says:

    Nice work GB
    You’ve gone for speed haven’t you 🙂

  163. GoonerB says:

    Will not be around for a bit to bask in the feeling of disappointment from you all in comparison to the normal pre-matches. Be back on later.

  164. GoonerB says:

    Wanted to do it last night Micky but got thwarted and this morning has already been a bit busy but you are at least getting something. Its no Danish Shakespeare but what the hell.

  165. New Post everyone

    Just going to find some pictured

  166. mickydidit89 says:

    It will be much appreciated I can assure you GB

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