NO to boring games: The Plan

The excuse: we’re poor minnows and can’t out football you, so we’ll out bore you for a point.

My response: bugger off and don’t darken our doorstep again.

tony-pulis-2

The object: reward adventure. Stamp on dullards. We want goals.

My plan: 1 point per goal and a further 2 to the victor. O further points for the draw.

Your thoughts: how can we stamp out the bus parkers, and other ideas?

MickyDidIt89

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64 Responses to NO to boring games: The Plan

  1. Big Raddy says:

    Morning All,

    Micky. Excellent. Succint, to the point and an important point to discussion.

    Could there be a common thread running through the PTB teams? Are they all from Up North?

    If so, then we need Sexit and a border above Watford. Re-establish the old Southern and Northern Leagues and let them bore each other.

    Or am I being Northist?

  2. chas mobile says:

    Cheers, Micky
    I’ll have to have a good think about this.
    Heroic rearguard actions should definitely not be rewarded.
    For ‘resolute’ read ‘spawny’.
    Magnificent goalkeeping read shit finishing..
    For rearguard read Pulis.

    Be back later for more strategic insights and general dragging the site down. 😅

  3. Big Raddy says:

    I have given this a smidgeon of thought …

    Let’s take another sport which became a little boring, cricket.

    No-one paid to watch it anymore, they found the idea of a 3 or 5 day game without attacking play dull. How did they change it to add excitement and attract crowds? They reduced the playing time and encouraged attacking play.

    Now I am not suggesting we reduce down to an hour, but attacking play should be rewarded.

    One can argue, and many cricket enthusiasts do, that the art of bowling and stopping attacking play has suffered.

    There is unquestionably an art to defending. Foster’s display on Boxing day was excellent, so was the defensive organisation and concentration of the WBA defence But 10 men being the ball is SO dull to the vast majority of the paying public

    Here’s an idea. In netball a player has to stay in a zone (I think there are three but am not sure). Maybe there could be a rule which states that no more than 5 players from either team can be within 20 yards of the goal?

    Forget that, it is a stupid idea!

    Points for goals is the only way forward.

  4. mickydidit89 says:

    Erik
    Being Northist is perfectly acceptable, but we must remember that when Maureen was at Chelski, 1-0 was deemed highly acceptable, so the problem is confined to neither northern sides or poor clubs.

    Heck, The Arsenal under GG wouldn’t have scored many points under this system.

  5. Wolfgang says:

    When GG was winning games 1-0 nobody was complaining.
    Give me this score over beautiful soccer which results in the gunners losing.

  6. mickydidit89 says:

    Maybe some will recall when in the 80’s Channel 4 introduced coverage of Italian Football.

    At that time, it was the richest league and all the stars were there. Maradona, the Dutch lot, Chippy and so on.

    It was not high scoring. The clever dicks amongst us would talk about the technical superiority of the football. What utter bollocks.

    The real fans amongst us would watch match of the day and see an all northern punch up on a ploughed field with a 5-4 scoreline.

    In short, screw the technical bit. Goals is where it’s at.

  7. mickydidit89 says:

    Wolfgang

    Most here were so utterly wasted during the GG years, we neither cared or could even see 🙂

  8. mickydidit89 says:

    Mind you, the 1-0 would still result in 3 points

  9. Big Raddy says:

    Wolfgang. When GG won the titles in 89 and 91 AFC were the highest goal scorers in the league.

    Then he changed and we became the 1-0 team and I can tell you as someone forced to witness it, the football was crap. Thank goodness for Ian Wright!

    Yes, we had the best defence in the league but my goodness we were dull. It got to the point when the vast majority of fans were hoping for a new manager despite our success.

  10. Eddie says:

    didit – I am afraid you asked for it
    1 the lot of you were very happy for Leicester winning the league last season, congratulating the boring bastards which simply infuriated me.

    2 other teams play bus parkers too and manage to win convincingly. We seem to be the team that time wasters excelled against. Why?

    3 Excellent idea re no points for a draw. I am off to calculate how many points we would have, I’d say considerably less than high scoring outfits.

    4 What did you get for xmas? Was it full stip and old boots?

  11. mickydidit89 says:

    Eddie

    1. Leicester winning was a different ball game better than Spuds winning it, which for a long time, looked a possibility

    2. They must be playing fabulous counter football, and if they win convincingly and score loads, then they deserve the 6 or 7 points

    3. It would be very interesting to take last season’s top four and recalculate

    4. A flying lesson. I’m terrified of heights, but am weirdly beyond excited. Need to wait until March. One hour, me at the controls:

    http://www.eaglescott-airfield.com/gift-vouchers/

  12. Eddie says:

    4 is the best answer 🙂 I was worried that you got something like a season ticket 🙂 I used to buy those for my son – he had flying lessons and Ferrari experience. I wish I knew he would have mates that have helicopters and Ferraris in back yards, I would save myself a bomb. Never mind, he loved those presents, much more than a suitcase I bought him for his 21st 🙂

    Enjoy it and don’t be scared – what is there to be scared off?

    The entertainens will shitting themselves till new year – who’s next? Carry Fisher and Zaza Gabor’s son being the latest.

  13. mickydidit89 says:

    Last season:

    Leicester
    Arsenal
    Spuds
    City

    Under my system and points would have read

    Leicester 114
    City 109
    Spuds 107
    Arsenal 105

  14. mickydidit89 says:

    I’d have liked the idea that going into the last game, City would have still had a chance of winning the league, but they’d have needed a 6-0 win 🙂

  15. Eddie says:

    see, so much for your ideas 🙂

  16. Big Raddy says:

    So, If we had beaten Hull by another 9 goals we would have won the league?

    Now that makes it interesting

  17. Big Raddy says:

    Last century I was giving a flying lesson for an Xmas gift at Biggin Hill. It was awesome. Trouble is flying is SO expensive that I could not afford to continue the lessons.

    You will love it.

  18. Rasp says:

    Lovely job from MickyDoneit 🙂

    This format works!

    Ok, so I agree we have to deal with the bus otherwise the entertainment will be choked out of football. There is a reason why the EPL is the most watched football .. it’s mainly all-out action …. except when it comes to buses. Clamping them won’t work, towing away is after the event, we need to eradicate them.

    So here’s my plan to take it a step further than even the venerable Mr DidIt suggests.

    Why not score football like they do in boxing. Every punch that lands gets a point – they don’t all have to be knockouts.

    What if points are accrued during the game and the team with the highest score at the end is the winner. So every time a team takes a shot on goal that requires the keeper to make a save they get a point. Every time a team commits a foul they are docked 3 points and minus 1 point for offsides. Every goal scored gets 25 points etc etc …. get the idea. The running total would be displayed on the big screen as in basketball. The team with the most points at the end of the game is rewarded with 3 points in the league table. This all action approach would also require running subs. The manager can make his subs during the game without having to consult the referee. There would be no limit to the number of subs but also no interruption to play whilst subs are being made. The format would probably have to change too – so maybe four 20 minute quarters with a 5 minute break in between to give the manager enough time to talk tactical bollix.

    Draws will become a thing of the past. Only attacking football will be rewarded. The game will be exciting from start to finish. Skill will be rewarded, non-football will be penalised. The useless 4th official will have something to do …. what’s not to love? 🙂 🙂

  19. TotalArsenal says:

    Hi Didit, don’t like the thought of points per goal as defending is also a beautiful part of football and this would be compromised too much, I reckon. The problem is teams going for the 0-0 draw. So I would suggest to not reward anything to teams who end up with a goalless draw, or even give them a one point deduction. That would get teams to come and play football from the start.

  20. mickydidit89 says:

    “defending is also a beautiful part of football”

    No it isn’t. Attacking is beautiful.

    You’re so Dutch, TA 🙂

  21. mickydidit89 says:

    Rasp

    187-172 scores certainly has it’s appeal to my sort 🙂

  22. Rasp says:

    😆 Micky. I started off thinking it was a stupid idea …. but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I actually think it could work. It would certainly make for a more entertaining game. Time wasting would be eradicated. All I need to do now is to think of a sexy name for this new short form of football and I’ll become a millionaire overnight.

  23. mickydidit89 says:

    Rasp

    Back to the format thing. You’ll get a truck load more posts out of me if I know a three minute effort would result in a new topic, however shallow, and a clean blog page to stop all the scrolling down for mobile device observers

    Then, hopefully, the experts can post the occasional thesis 🙂

  24. Rasp says:

    Excellent Micky. I always said posts don’t have to be epic … just a brief starting point for a discussion.

  25. LB says:

    I’m confused.

    I can’t see past the Barcelona way of doing things — break quicker, pass quicker and more accurately and score more goal as they do, failing that sign Leonel Messi.

  26. mickydidit89 says:

    Confused LB?

    You say “and score more goals”. Hole in one
    Oh, and cigar regarding the signing of Messi

    I could do a post on that last bit, and it’d take me even less time 🙂

  27. TotalArsenal says:

    Micky, a goal scored against a crap defence only half excites me. And I hate conceding goals as a result of shite defending. Maybe you should start watching basketball?! 😹

  28. VP of Oz says:

    I think that we should go the pinball way. For every ball that goes past the end-line/goal-line, the ball is held and a new ball introduced. When about 5 balls get accrued behind the goal line it triggers a multiball into that half and you keep playing with all these balls until you’re back to one ballagain. You then start to accrue for the next multiball.

  29. chas mobile says:

    Oooo, I like the multiball idea, but think Mike Riley might want to have 1 ref per ball.

  30. Big Raddy says:

    VP. Excellent. I suggest we send your proposal to FIFA & UEFA.

  31. GunnerN5 says:

    The highest paid players are invariably forwards and there’s a good reason for that – the skills required to unlock defenses and score the elusive goal are hard to find. In comparison defensive players are paid far less as the skills required to hoof the ball out or cut down a skilled player are easier to come by.

    Only a few teams can afford to purchase the super star players and those that can’t are forced to find other ways to gain points or to even survive. Hence we get the packed defenses and whatever other strategies teams can employ to gain points from the top teams.

    If we look at the PL standings this morning it’s only the top 4 teams who have a scoring average of 2 or more goals per game and 3 of the bottom 4 have the worst defenses; the only exception being 11th placed West Ham who have a worse defense than 18th placed Sunderland.

    Exactly 50% of the PL teams have a negative goal difference – so their only hope of gaining points and surviving in the PL is to utilize defensive strategies.

    The 3 point system came into being to encourage offensive football and giving extra points for goals scored would only be beneficial to the few teams that can afford the highly paid super stars.

  32. GunnerN5 says:

    One of the obvious things that could be avoided is the amount of time wasted by the defensive teams, as Chas showed yesterday WBA spent 9 minutes of the game taking goal kicks. If I guessed the amount of time they spent on free kicks, throw in’s, corners, fake injuries and substitutions we would more than double that amount of time.

    It could well be that they kill off over 20 minutes per game by not playing football – this is simply outrageous and only the officials can reduce the time wasted.

    Frankly this is a subject that needs to be examined more closely.

  33. mickydidit89 says:

    VP

    Multi balls. Oh my god, how sexy is THAT 🙂

  34. Big Raddy says:

    GN5. Surely it is not beyond the imagination of the ruling bodies to ask the 4th referee to ensure there is 90 minutes of the ball in play?

    The paying customer is being cheated.

  35. mickydidit89 says:

    We’ve got rights Erik

  36. mickydidit89 says:

    Hey Erik

    Here’s a thing. Went to see a film, you know, art shit called In Search of Silence. Bit of wind, bit of Mumbai traffic, Zen monks and tea ceremonies kinda deal.

    Interesting when some brainy sound type, can’t remember, Philip Glass or maybe John Cage built a silence shed/box. Went in. Listened to nothingness and came out saying he could hear a high pitch and a low one. Turns out high was nervous system while low was heart pumping the red stuff about.

    I thought it was interesting. No peace and quiet for the living was my take

  37. Big Raddy says:

    Micky. This is because he was not trained in the ancient art of transcendental meditation. If one is trained to lift the mind out of the body then absolute silence is possible.

    I have never been able to do it so resorted to drugs.

  38. Big Raddy says:

    Aaargh, that is lovely. Mrs Raddy just came in carrying a G&T with ice and lemon. What a woman

  39. mickydidit89 says:

    Will she let you have a sip?

  40. mickydidit89 says:

    5:20 wow
    Do you think it’s really worth the effort and all the training?

  41. chas says:

    Jeez, 90 minutes of the ball in play.
    Some games would last for 2 and a half hours.
    The Emirates would probably be half empty for the second half.

  42. Aaron says:

    Interesting concept that is worth re-visiting.

    Get rid of offside and 2 points for a goal scored by visiting side.

    6 substitutions per game. (15 seconds per sub max or penalty kick to opposing side for time wasting)

    Other realistic suggestions??

  43. chas says:

  44. Big Raddy says:

    Big win for Spurs. 6 teams will be fighting for 4 CL spots until seasons end. Should be exciting.

  45. chas says:

  46. chas says:

  47. Big Raddy says:

    Morning All,

    6.39. I am guessing 1979. FAC Final.

    6.37 I like ugly things (and thank goodness, so does my wife) but what possessed someone to make such a hideous object?

  48. mickydidit89 says:

    This is a bad week
    Both Chas and Erik working
    Me late. Every day
    And Eddie not only has her Mum but revealed she starts blogging AFTER breakfast

  49. mickydidit89 says:

    18 games now played. We’re at the half way stage.

    Utd, or rather Pogba, beginning to click

  50. Eddie says:

    breakfast all done
    and where were you, I thought you were flying, the Flying Devonman 🙂

    Mrs Raddy likes ugly things 🙂 so do I

  51. Eddie says:

    …and Tottenham, just 1 point behind the Mighty.

    Those Dean’s and Spurs stats are very alarming.

    I know you lot think and say I am a horrible doomer. I probably am, but there is that niggly thought, feeling if you like that we are not great, something elusive is missing there. And I watch some other outfits they look more altogether, stronger, better. What is it?

  52. Big Raddy says:

    Eddie. You didn’t say that after the Stoke game when we scored 12 goals in a week, which is only 3 games ago.

  53. mickydidit89 says:

    Eddie

    Maybe you are more competitive than others, or a perfectionist

    I like the fact that different bloggers react/think differently. That’s the liberal in me 🙂

    I absolutely think we lack an out and out leader. A real midfield general type. Oh, and Cavani 🙂

  54. Eddie says:

    of course not raddy. It would have been a ridiculous thing to say then 🙂

    ok, maybe it is the customary inconsistency of our team that worries me. Periods of greatness closely followed by average performances. Maybe we are not strong enough to maintain high profile, players get tired easily, lose interest, don’t look as if they could play hard day in day out. Fragile, I think that is what I was looking for. the team looks fragile.

  55. mickydidit89 says:

    Oh goody goody, that means we’re two players short 🙂

  56. Eddie says:

    is it too early to start January speculations?
    or is there no point whatsoever because we have more chance of winning the double than singing 2 players?

  57. Morning all

    We have a New Post ……………………

  58. mickydidit89 says:

    Eddie

    We’re football fans and the whole thing is quite childish, so of course we dream and speculate. It’s like sending that letter up the chimney at Christmas

    Write a gripper of a headline and two sentences. Up it goes and away we goes 🙂

  59. mickydidit89 says:

    Shit a brick. Another new post. Yip yip

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