Gooners Survival Guide: Away Games

Thinking of going to an away game?

Worried about your safety?

Here’s some top tips to get the most from your away day adventure.

Do your research. Take some time to visit the oppositions blog sites and get a feel for how the home team are doing. That way when you finally arrive at the ground you will be well versed in the local banter and you will be able to judge the mood. If you can find a blog that allows guest writers then you can even test your knowledge by writing a paragraph or two about the home teams current events.

Wear suitable clothing. Avoid anything associated with Arsenal. Top tip: buy the home teams shirt before you go and wear that. You could even get a matching scarf to blend in further. So you don’t feel like you’ve wasted your money, get the shirt signed by one of the popular home team players and hang it on your wall. That way you will have a souvenir of your great away day adventure.

Mind your language. Take a few weeks to train yourself to talk to the locals. When you’re talking about the opposition with the home fans use the words ‘our’ and ‘we’ to replace ‘your’ and ‘you’. For example, instead of saying ‘your left back is shit and you are going to get hammered’ say ‘our left back looks tired and I’d be happy with a point’.

Learn the songs. Before you go make sure you research the home fans songs and memorise them. Derogatory songs about Arsenal are especially valuable. During your trip you should visit some of the home fans favourite pubs and join in with a good old song song. This way you’ll have great memories to take back with you.

Buy tickets for the home end. You’re wearing the outfit, you’ve got the banter, and you know the songs, so why not go deeper undercover and sit in the home end. To make sure you don’t get exposed as the great Arsenal fan you are you should also think about cheering when the home team score. You could even go one step further and hug those around you when the ball flies past the Arsenal keeper.

Leave depressed. This is no time to celebrate an Arsenal victory. Moan about the referee and wait outside the stadium to throw things at your fellow Gooners. Top tip: The scarf can be a useful tool here as you can use it to cover your face so as to avoid getting recognised by your friends. Once home make sure you visit the home sides blog again and join in with the depressing breakdown of the match. Maybe offer to write a match report to round off your away adventure in style.

Finally, do it all again. You can never start researching early enough so ignore the midweek home game and get ready for your next away day adventure.

Stay safe Gooners.

Written by fgg

 

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45 Responses to Gooners Survival Guide: Away Games

  1. Iceman says:

    Go away, stand proud with all the Gooners, sing your lungs out, cheer every goal, celebrate like you’ve won the World Cup, love every minute. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.

  2. akinzo says:

    Nice one fgg

    This is really hilarious. I haven’t been contributing here for sometime because I have been in the hospital for some months now. But reading this sent me in an uncontrollable laugh that has become a source of concern for staff of the hospital and other patients here. I might be very ill here but I still nurse the hope of making some accomplishments before quitting this world; one of such is watching Arsenal live. This will be in two-fold, at the Emirates and away.
    In the reckoning of any great warrior, the best way to die is by the sword fighting. So if it’s by supporting Arsenal amidst fierce opposition then so be it for me. I doff my hat to every Gunner, who regardless of the obscene cost of the club’s season tickets have remained undaunted. Life hadn’t been exactly a bed of roses for me in the past few years but I continue to subscribe to terrestial television with only one sole purpose; watch Arsenal games. Arsenal for life

  3. chas mobile says:

    Cheers, FGG.
    For half a second I thought you were serious. 🙂
    “Your left back is shit… ” 🙂

    Ant tells me off for my appalling attempt at Scouse when we go to Liverpool or Everton.
    Not wearing red makes sense, partly because some of the most moronic folk you come across on away trips are Arse fans.

    Absolutely love Iceman’s comment. Nailed it.

    Akinzo
    Hope everything picks up for you and the mighty Arsenal’s end of season charge brightens your life – just as FGG’s post has.

  4. LB says:

    Brilliant.

  5. GoonerB says:

    Great advice FGG. Does the advice still stand for Spurs away? Some of your recommendations (like the third to last main paragraph) may be too much when it comes to Spuds away. I think slamming a car door on your gonads may be less painful. Maybe even 2 to 3 times as well.

    Chas, I thought you were a scouser? 🙂

    LB, sometimes I wish you would just get to the point 🙂

    Akinzo, sorry to hear of your troubles. I hope your wishes to attend the Arsenal at home and away come true.

  6. GoonerB says:

    Eboue has a 1 year FIFA ban for unpaid agent fees and Sunderland have terminated his contract.

    RIP to the great Ronnie Corbett.

  7. Shard says:

    This is hilarious. Brilliant fgg

    Maybe that marmite guy did this for too long and just got confused who he’s supposed to be.

    akinzo

    Sorry to hear about your illness. Wish you all the best and hope your wish to see Arsenal live both home and away come true.

  8. VCC says:

    Akinso. Sorry to hear your news fellow Gooner. Hope things get better and you can fulfil your wish to see the mighty Arsenal live. All the best buddy.

  9. Eddie says:

    fgg 🙂 is it what you do?

    “hug those around you when the ball flies past the Arsenal keeper” 🙂 🙂
    I have only been to a few away games, Liverpool was good (chas – remember?). I sat amongst the home crowd and had to do your suggestions or I will be clattered. it worked 🙂 We won 2:0 and apart from some abuse from the familiar Scouser I made it home in one happy piece

  10. Big Raddy says:

    FGG- Love it.

    Excellently researched and well written.

    I have perfected the Scouse accent but remain troubled by the Newcastle burr. The only positive is that they are likely to be relegated 🙂

  11. chas says:

    Eddie
    Yep, Podolski and Cazorla new arrivals, back when we thought they both might be quite good. 🙂

    BR
    Bad for Ant and me if the Geordies get relegated – one less away ticket we’re likely to get. It’s a long way from London. 🙂

  12. thanks for comments. glad nobody took it serious! 🙂

    I’m pleased this cheered you up akinzo and i hope things improve!

    anybody watched the cricket? cracking semi finals. not sure we can outblast the Windies in the final.

  13. Big Raddy says:

    Akinzo. The Arsenal family send their you their best wishes for a speedy recovery and look forward to meeting you at the Emirates.

  14. Big Raddy says:

    Chas. Can you see them staying up?

    AV, Newcs and Norwich for me, though Sunderland could easily come a cropper

  15. Very nice Ginge

    During the mid eighties I was a regular at away games. We were shit, all our players looked like game show hosts.

    In those days the game was dominated by holiganns. The old bill should all have got nicked. The fans weren’t much better.

    Most away regulars knew each other, at least by face. I was known as Stan, a name I gained after been beaten by a Boro supporter with a Stan Smith trainer. It was my trainer.

    I knew all our “firm”. I would always pray that it went off in those days because without trouble they would say “f*uck it, let’s do Stan, take off your trainers lads”

    There was one particular little offshoot of the firm that really hated me. In fact, whilst we were in the police escorts they would give me a kicking.

    A lot of the time the away mob would spot them doing me and steam in thinking they were saving one of there own. Sheffield Ud away was the worst. I was really groggy from receiving a terrible blow from a Gooner testing his new Diadora Mavericks when all of a sudden these Sheffield boys weighed in

    “Don’t worry lad, your safe now” I stupidly replied “cheers mate” and there main man clocked , “f*uck, he’s a cockney. Must be that Stan wanker” so they proceeded to take there trainers off

    Of course I exaggerate. It wasn’t all that bad, sometimes we would avoid a 3-0 defeat,and on one occasion Paul Mariner scored a good goal. I wouldn’t get a kicking from the fans every game either, sometimes the old bill would do it.

    God, I miss those days.

  16. Big Raddy says:

    Terry. I may well have been one of the chaps who gave you a shoeing – I think it was outside Fratton Park. After all these years I hope you can forgive me

  17. Big Raddy says:

    Arnie and Shard. Another excellent cricket match and such a shame that India will not meet England in the Finals 😦

  18. Not at all Raddy. Nothing to forgive.

    It was those beatings that made me the snivelling sociopath I am today, so I thank you.

    We can still meet for a beer. For old times sake make sure your wearing trainers and are in a bad mood.

  19. chas says:

    Terry
    LB used to go on aways with Dainton.
    Massive trainers.

  20. chas says:

    BR
    No, Newcastle look as good as down.
    If Sunderland drop as well we’re right in the shite, tickets-wise.

    Though, of the top six in the Championship, only Brighton would be impossible to get a ticket. Might be lucky with Burnley and Derby, Boro, Hull and Sheff Wed even better.

    It would be nice to go back to Hillsborough especially, and not be made to look like real numpties like in October.

  21. Yeah, I knew Dainton chas. He was a top geezer.

  22. chas says:

  23. Cheers for the link chas. That’s a brilliant story.

    Rocky-Legend

  24. Big Raddy says:

    Thanks chas. Great read

  25. TotalArsenal says:

    Obese Crimson Spud,

    You are mad – very funny 🙂

  26. LB says:

    Let’s keep the perspective here, I went away with Denton once to Villa Park; he threw an apple core at the Financial Times I was reading on the bus, all in good humour or at least that was the way I thought best to view it. I am still here to tell the tale so it probably was best to view it that way 😉

  27. chas says:

    It still makes me grin, the thought of you reading the FT on an Arsenal away boys bus. 🙂

  28. chas says:

  29. Big Raddy says:

    Morning All,

    Is that a very drunk Steve McQueen embracing Big Leggy?

  30. Big Raddy says:

    Love the proud father in 6.30

  31. chas says:

    Yep, Steve with Marion.

  32. chas says:

  33. Big Raddy says:

    Looks a bit like you and Ant after a long away day

  34. mickydidit89 says:

    Thanks for post FGG 🙂
    Manoevering. Happily, I awake in sunny London.

    Great pics today. Cheers Chas.

  35. Big Raddy says:

    I have written a post – could be for today or tomorrow but I am not here to publish or put on a banner.

    Could someone please oblige?

  36. mickydidit89 says:

    Erik
    No 🙂
    By the way, I aimed a very simple question about cricket at you yesterday. You responded by shoving me off to google rather than answering yourself.
    Let’s be clear. I was simply trying to find a point in you. I failed.
    🙂

  37. Morning all

    I can publish your post Raddy.

    ‘Today or tomorrow’ – we have a match tomorrow 😉

  38. Big Raddy says:

    Micky. I have no points, good or bad. I am seamlessly at one with the universe.

    No offence meant – just couldn’t be arsed to google the answer myself 🙂

    Laters …

  39. We have a New Post ……………

    Best wishes to akinzo.

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