Arsenal Will Win The League

There’s a Swansea match report coming up below, but first things first: I really think that in this strangest of all Premier League seasons, Arsenal are going to end up as champions.

If you’re now reaching for your keyboard to trot out some truly original responses like “I want some of what you’re on” or “keep taking the tablets” you can save yourself the bother.

I know that after that pile of poo performance at Old Toilet and the gut-wrenching defeat last night it seems like utter madness to predict an Arsenal title.

We have not played well for what seems like months, some of our best players are so out of form that they would disgrace a kick-about on Hackney Marshes and we carry as much attacking threat as a tortoise.

But in what looks to be the ashes of a season that promised so much I can see a feeble ember burning. It may wither to lifeless black, but if it can be fanned by the wind of hope it could yet turn into a flame that burns all before it.

And it all comes down to one battlefield. One place where the passions, hopes and fears of a season will be distilled into 90+ minutes of football.

The place, of course, is the N17 Lavatory and the time is 12.45pm on Saturday.

Understandably, many of you reading this will feel we are heading to our uppity neighbours to face a humiliating, season-ending defeat. A defeat that will be a double dagger to the heart: killing our chances and enhancing theirs.

But, just for a second, let’s play a mind game: step outside of the pessimism that so understandably shrouds you. Now, imagine that as the whistle blows for full time on Saturday, Arsenal have won. It doesn’t matter how we did it – a thumping 5-0 victory or a 95th minute winner scrambled off Mertesacker’s arse. But just close your eyes and soak up that feeling.

In a stroke we will be level on points with Totteringham and they will have suffered two consecutive defeats. Deep in their hearts they will know that they have been reminded of where they stand in relation to the Mighty Arsenal.

It will be the win that fires life back into our season, that reinvigorates tired and out-of-form players and that pushes us on to the title.

I realise I am writing as much from hope as from expectation, but there is something deep in my bones that says this will be so.

And so to the Swansea game.

In a nutshell we lost through either bad or unlucky finishing (for further information please see metaphysical discussion on the nature of luck in yesterday’s post game comments).

We hit the woodwork three times and, having taken the lead, were pegged back by a goal that started with a Swansea player rugby tackling Mesut Ozil. Nine times out of 10 we get free kick. The potato-faced referee in yesterday’s game chose to look the other way.

We played pretty well in the first half and laboured in the second. Swansea’s second goal, I feel, can be put down to one of those events that comes along with blue moons and flying pigs: a Petr Cech mistake. It was a wicked cross but Cech came for it and missed. Along with our bad finishing, it cost us the game.

Joel Campbell was our best player and scored a fine goal. When he was inexplicably subbed off (I can only assume the manager feels he is not fully match fit) the crowd vented their anger. I would have taken off Alexis (in fact I would have started him on the bench, so out-of-form is he).

There are big questions of confidence about this team and that showed in some of the options taken by individual players today – an unwillingness to shoot at times, a shirking of responsibility, too many hasty or overambitious passes. We were bold when we needed to be conservative and cautious when we needed to be brave.

But these are good players and they are prideful. If we fans are hurting, so are they. They have only one forum in which to redeem themselves and I have a feeling that they will do so.

In the situation in which we find ourselves there is no room for self pity, self doubt or introversion. There is only one acceptable response: attack, attack and attack again.

Not for the first time on this blog I will quote the words of the First World War French general, Marshal Foch. When his troops were having a rough time at the battle of the Marne in 1914 he sent the following dispatch to headquarters: “My centre is giving way. My right is in retreat. Situation excellent. I shall attack.” And he did, and he stopped a major German advance.

Our centre is giving way (come back soon Santi!); our right is in retreat (bloody Theo); our situation is excellent – we shall attack.

Watch out Spuds. We’re coming and we have something to prove. You should be worried. Very worried.




100 Responses to Arsenal Will Win The League

  1. Big Raddy says:

    RL. Cracking read.

    Marshal Foch reminds me of Didit. 😀

  2. mickydidit89 says:

    Well Rocky

    The final proof that beer is good for you 🙂

    Well done, and of course, the almost unbelievable reality is that we could still win the league, although the mind boggles that such an awful team could still be in with a shout.

    I would love to be a fly on the wall when the chit chat gets under way in the three days manager and players have together before Spurs game

    How to motivate and galvanize them. My first suggestion would be to introduce them to each other. Yip, that bad.

    Even more unbelievably, I can’t wait for Sunday, and I have not drunk any beer.

  3. chas says:

    Wow, thanks, Rocky.
    Absolutely superb.

    Time to break out the fulminated mercury at SHL. 🙂

  4. chas says:

    Sunday, when you’re celebrating yesterday’s win? 😆

  5. mickydidit89 says:

    Likening me to any French man hurts, however, I do like the cut of the Foch jib 🙂

  6. Malaysian gunner says:

    Really?Then my 99year old uncle has a great chance of being the next Arsenal manager.The writing had been on the wall the last ten seasons for gooner fans.
    Wenger has made Arsenal mediocre. That’s why the rf was so chummy to him.I feel Arsenal will have abetter chance of success with someone else. Its a risk worth taking.

  7. Big Raddy says:

    What really upset me most was the reaction of the crowd.

    12th man? More like Swansea’s 12th man. The stupidity of the vast majority was staggering. How on earth do people think that by moaning and shouting abuse they are helping a team who are already nervous and frustrated.

    Last night we saw the difference between fans and supporters.

  8. RA says:

    Allowing a little time for the Rocket Post to percolate through my two brain cells, I am reminded, in the aftermath of what was a pretty abysmal result ( I did not see the game), how diverse people are in reacting to set backs like that.

    There are angry and vituperative calls for the heads of those supposedly deluded fans who are not calling for the heads of the manager and players; there are those who will no doubt cast themselves into self-imposed Arsenal purdah, and then there are those trying to carry on as usual having experienced great disappointments before – like the Rocker is doing above, in quoting that Fucher Foch. 🙂

    We all feel the hurt, and we all deal with it in our own way, so there really is no sense in fans throughout Goonerdom turning on their fellows, so let’s follow Rocky, the Pied Piper from Toronto, and debag the bugger publicly if we don’t win the League. 😀

  9. Danish Gooner says:

    This is Arsene `s chokers,among the things they dont do are miracles.

  10. Ogban says:

    When l saw the headline I thought I was going read a hilarious piece. But when I realized it was for real, I stopped reading

  11. Eddie says:

    🙂 🙂 Rocky 🙂 🙂 just reading the title made me ROLF:) 🙂 you are insane, but very nice insane 🙂

  12. mickydidit89 says:

    You play those computer make believe games, full of wizards with wands and stuff, don’t you?

  13. mickydidit89 says:

    Oh come on Erik

    “What really upset me most was the reaction of the crowd”.

    Sure, I agree most are spoilt brats, but let’s not diffuse or dilute the horror of our football

    I don’t think for one minute fans have any rights, but inevitably they do have some expectations

    Speaking as a Purist, our style and goalscoring abilities are, frankly, pants

  14. Red Arnie says:

    Inspirational, Rocky. 🙂 Thank you.

    We dont deserve it , but it seems like a race to the bottom at the top end. and yes, we may just be the last men standing.

    we can certainly hope, not in expecation perhaps, but we can hope.

  15. mickydidit89 says:

    Oh RA
    Can’t we turn on the odd one? Pleeeease 🙂

  16. kelsey says:

    Don’t worry we can all dream 😉 I would do the job for 4 million a year just need to update my CV

  17. mickydidit89 says:

    Oh God, Crystals down the gym as well as hairdresser. 🙂

  18. Xigunner says:

    We will beat Spurs & knock out Barcelona. I don’t take pills.

  19. wally says:

    For a season that started so brightly and held so much hope I have mixed feelings. Great disappointment and wonderment at my ongoing delusion.
    1) We should have done better. That we didn’t is more than just an oddity
    2) Same old Arsenal, nothing changes.

    Good teams find a way to win. Clearly we’re not. Why was i kidding myself.

  20. Le Coq Monster says:

    I like your style Rockylicious…………….trying to pretend that you are not on drugs so that you will not get a felching examination at the Devon border when you move to Cornwall !……with your name only one location….Rock….if you can afford it…and if you can, I will be your new bestest mate !. 😀

    Rocky of Rock !

    May I say that although I come across as a realistic doomer, I would like to point out just incase I get tarred as a Mr Abusive at a game, I have never abused any Arsenal player or manager at a game and only shout encouargement….well apart from the time when Gervinho was getting abused and then he scored, so I ironically booed him ! hahaha
    I`m past venting anger, I`d rather vent laughter and whilst we carry on with the comical football and results I will laugh longer and louder !
    As per usual I agree with the Realm of Realism…..King Kelsey … all stems from our Summer Transfer Window or lack of it !

  21. LB says:

    Wow, I haven’t had goose bumps from reading a post for a long time. I didn’t think anything Arsenal related could cheer me up this morning. Thanks Rocky, may your hang over be short lived.

  22. Le Coq Monster says:

    Live web cam looking over to Padstow……did I ever tell you that the sand in my wife`s horses little school area comes from Padstow !…..the little bastards have their own Padstow Beach !

  23. Thank you Rocky for a great hope inspired post. Hope is where I’m at. I hope the players can take a good look at themselves and want to do better. I hope they’ll want to win at SHL I hope that whatever confusion and malaise that has struck them disappears as fast as it came.

    I hope in this craziest of seasons we’re the victors.

    Until it’s mathematically impossible I have hope …….and scoring goals would be a good start please.

  24. Eczelo says:

    Wenger is a world class coach whose passion has dimmed for reasons that are obvious.
    *Arsenal fans are too proud 2 accept that there is still much 2 be done 2 get the team 2 become serial winners.
    *We disrespect our opponents even before the players do so. Ridicule and sarcasm yes, but disrespect- NOT ALLOWED.
    *We are sentimental in the choice of our fantasy team over merit and Arsene knows and follows suit.
    *Arsene is old nd the passion nd hunger is ageing as well.
    *The board, the structure,the players, the fans, me, you. We accept anything most times and fail to assert and go for our desire- win, win, and keep winning.

  25. Bryan says:

    Arsenal wont win the league & we best start watching over our shoulder as we may not make CL at this rate.
    Spurs, Everton, West Ham & Man City are 4 away games I can’t see us getting anything from, so no league title for in my opinion.

    Firstly I will not knock last nights performance because we were up for it & should of won well.
    Everything went against us, hitting woodwork 3 times, foul on Ozil for Swansea’s equaliser & the winner was proved to be offside when I got home to view on TV.

    But I just can not believe Wenger, he consistently see’s or does not see things everyone else does.
    We had one player that was head over hills the best player on the pitch last night & with the game drawn, Wenger decides to take him off.
    If you all saw the game I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that player is Joel Campbell.

    I just want Wenger to stand down now, he was a once great manager but not no more, he has just not moved with the times.

  26. Red Arnie says:

    good comment, Eczelo

  27. Big Raddy says:

    Didit. We lost 3 games in a week. I have seen it before and will no doubt see it again.

    It is part of sport and what makes it interesting. God forbid we win every game for the next 5 years.

    I cannot accept that just buying a red and white scarf makes one a supporter. Our job is to support.

    Or, of course, there is a place for the folk who just put money into the club by buying tickets and merchandise. These people are fans and I hope it is them who leave at 80 mins and shout abuse at the very players they purport to “support”.

    I will end by quoting the great Bob Wilson “If you are a supporter of a club you have to support through thick, thin,laughter, smiles and tears …”

    This is my last comment on this subject because it becomes repetitive.

  28. RA says:

    Micky @ 10:55

    Of course, exceptions can be made — so have at Erik! 🙂

  29. chas says:

  30. Rasp says:

    Superb rallying cry Rocky, thank you, you’ve helped lift the fug of depression from last night.

    Saturday is Rourke’s Drift for The Arsenal, only victory will suffice.

  31. GoonerB says:

    Thanks Rocky. When you wake up I am sure that some lobster and a couple of bloody Mary’s will sort you out. Then you can read your post and think “blimey I couldn’t have written that, I’m with Cockie and Kelsey” 🙂

    I have great sympathy for how Cockie and Kelsey feel and do share some of their views but not all. The squad we have now is / was good enough to win the EPL this year, and probably reasonably comfortably. The big spending of our hoards of cash should only be required to help us challenge at the higher end of Europe, and shouldn’t have been needed to negotiate the domestic competitions this year. The fact that we are where we are domestically is down to mis-management and misuse of what we have IMO.

    I do worry about Cockie though, what with him developing an increasingly manic habit of laughing as we get worse. It gives me a mental image of Herbert Lom in the Pink Panther films 🙂

    My opinions are well documented anyway, and I feel the issues we see now can be found emerging as far back as 3 years ago. It has just been a steady progression of sorts to this point.

    I hate the booing and insulting comments of specific players, and it is not a nice thing to single out one individual for special bile throwing. The general booing of the whole situation we are in I don’t like either, but I get that the fans don’t like how they see the club doing things and feel helpless to make their feelings known in any other way.

    I will continue to support and try and motivate the team because Rocky is absolutely right we are still in it. I really hope we win the league for all of our and Arsenes sake, but if that did happen that wouldn’t mean I don’t feel changes should not occur at the end of the season. There are too many worrying trends that have been happening for too long IMO, and ones that I see continuing causing us problems after this season regardless of whether we win the league or not.


    Great spirit Rocky. Nothing can lift the gloom more than a post filled with spirit and Ghosts.

    I myself am often lifted by the visitation of a ghoulish 14th Century Byzantine women. Her threats of exposing me as a Heretic (I gain pleasure from viewing Coronation Street) means I am forced to renounce the evil of Ken Barlow and make passionate, but plague free love to her.

    I was at the game last night. The second half was a nightmare, made worse by some tourettes suffering Scottish geezer sitting behind me abusing all our players. I tell you what Rocky, he is very very lucky that due to a childhood fear of Aberdeen’s Willie Miller, I took no action.

    Swansea pressed us higher in the 2nd half and our game went to pot. There was a five minute comical spell that we kept trying to pass our way out of trouble but kept giving it back to them. It was like one of them 1920s silent speeded up comedies were a Sadam Hussein lookalike ties some bird to the Railtrack only for Buster Keaton to save the day by kicking Sadam in the butt and exposing his long johns.

    I have been to every home game this year and sometimes wonder if people appreciate how drastically the games changed. It has become breathless, the fitness and intensity levels of the players have meant that control of the match changes hands constantly.

    Its a crazy season. A box of frogs? More like a bowl of frogs in which you have unfortunately lodged your head in. The only man who could survive such a torment is Garth Crooks. Frogs are very well mannered in front of a parent

    I agree with you, we will beat them Saturday. We may need to change strategy a bit, turning bloody well up by playing well for starters, that should confuse them.

    I hope Arsene gets the boys to defend deep and hit them on the counter, Totnumb dont know what to do when asked questions. In there confusion they will probably start pressing there own players, which they will probably enjoy

    i dont like Pochitino. Hes a mild depression away from been a fatso. After Saturday, I expect within a month he will be paying double for Ryan Air.

    The Ghosts of the Thirties are Stirring.

  33. goonermichael says:

    I’m going to watch the game in an expat bar with a spud my best friend here has decided to marry. I hope the form book goes out the window and we smash them. Love the post and although winning the league seems unlikely a win on Saturday could spark a run of form. Let’s face it these players can do better.

  34. cornflake says:


    LOL …lunatic how you doing

  35. inept says:

    This is the worst Arsenal team and manager in history playing in the worst Premier league of all time…

  36. GoonerB says:

    Terry 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Just what the doctor ordered today.

  37. Rasp says:

    Rocky and TMHT …. my day is complete 🙂

  38. Red Arnie says:

    Terry. 😆

  39. goonermichael says:

    Terry that was brilliant

  40. LB says:

    A day’s blogging is never complete without a Terry comment.

  41. Big Raddy says:

    I second Rasp’s 3.11 but would add in Goonermichael.

    Really made my day seeing all 3 blogging on AA.

  42. Le Coq Monster says:

    Some serious tongue wiping needed here ! 😆

  43. mickydidit89 says:

    The attendees should at least be able to egg players who don’t try 🙂

  44. Big Raddy says:

    Micky. At the very minimum. Effluent would be my choice of missile

  45. mickydidit89 says:


    While I’ve always thought that massive space behind goal in front of North Bank should be used for standing, I’m currently running with the idea of a caged area

    Players subbed for lack of effort or pathetic injuries could be chucked in, allowing the cheap seats to vent their anger and hurl missiles of rotten leeks and so on

    Fun for all, and an excellent lesson in life for junior gunners.

  46. Big Raddy says:

    Brilliant. Do you think we could crowd-fund it?

    Start at the Emirates and then sell the idea to all PL grounds.

  47. mickydidit89 says:

    Yess, even better. How about sponsorship? The TV rights alone could do it.

  48. chas says:

    Flamin inaccurate, off-target shooting I call it.

  49. GoonerB says:

    That’s unlucky Chas. I wonder what Rasp would make of it 🙂

  50. Rasp says:

    I think they should make the goals 6 inches wider and 6 inches taller:)

  51. Big Raddy says:

    How do we protect your idea?

    I fear that at this very moment GB is on the phone to his men.

  52. Big Raddy says:

    Rasp. With Welbeck’s close miss we would have scored 5

  53. chas says:

    Just look at the way the Ox pings this one in off the inside of the post. Magnificent accuracy.

  54. mickydidit89 says:

    I did a two hundred mile round train trip just to see a mountain called that. It’s pathetic I know 🙂

  55. mickydidit89 says:

    Oooops 😦

  56. mickydidit89 says:

    Ok, off to a gig.

  57. mickydidit89 says:

    Not sulking, just off to a gig 🙂

  58. Big Raddy says:

    Something with guitars I hope.

  59. RockyLives says:

    Well I must say I’m a little disappointed not to have had more abuse!

    Have you chaps been policing the blog?

  60. RockyLives says:

    If I am mad, it’s a schizophrenic sort of madness. One part of my brain adamantly believes that the scenario I outlined above will definitely happen, while another part thinks it’s bonkers.

    I might have a row with myself and flounce off and not talk to myself any more.

  61. chas says:

    Piss off back to cloud cuckoo land, Rocky

  62. chas says:

    Investing massive amounts of time and emotion into football is completely bonkers.
    So you’re not alone. 🙂

  63. Big Raddy says:

    If you are questioning my mental state, I will have to ask you to step outside.

    As if …

  64. RockyLives says:


  65. Eddie says:

    Marshal Foch, I almost forgot about him 🙂 I still think you is bonkers.,is.the.opposition.

  66. LB says:

    Chas 6.21 — Hilarious.

    Well, well, well I never expected today to be such a fun read but that is exactly what it has been.

  67. Red Arnie says:

    Evonne. 🙂 Bonkers? That would be the next manager, who is currently in charge of our under-19s. Undress Bonkers! 😆

  68. Red Arnie says:

    LB. I agree. what else can we do, other than laugh away our misery! 🙂

  69. mickydidit89 says:

    Late back
    Late up
    Ruched coffee
    Woosh and away

  70. chas says:

  71. chas says:

    What it feels like to go to SHL for the NLD as a Gooner.

  72. Big Raddy says:

    Morning All,

    Looks like Mike Dean.

  73. Rasp says:

    Morning all, anyone got a rant ? – actually, is there anyone who hasn’t got a rant at the moment? 🙂

  74. Eddie says:

    how can we get Kroenke out?? it is all very well sporting a flyer, but how the fans could do it?

  75. chas says:

    Tension at SHL

  76. Eddie says:

    Is Kroenke the worst FC owner? There is Tan who bought Cardiff FC and changed their colours – blue to red. And there are the Venkers, chicken farmers who got Blackburn relegated. But Kroenke must be right there with them

    What has he done for us?

  77. chas says:

    I’m not sure if it was shown on TV but Swansea came out a minute or two after us for the 2nd half.
    During this period I can’t remember seeing one Arsenal player gee another up.
    Swansea also brought cones on to the pitch with them when they did arrive and did a few seconds warm up exercise using the cones. Odd, it was.

  78. Eddie says:

    what does it mean ‘gee another’ ?

  79. chas says:

    I think it comes from horse-riding, like giddy up.

  80. Eddie says:

    cheers! I did google it, but to avail 😉
    ooooh, perhaps we have a problem in the dressing rooms? That would explain a lot

  81. Big Raddy says:

    It’s simple.

    Our players who can be an excellent team (see MU at home) are totally out of form.

    Nothing more. We are in 3rd place, in the FAC.

    It is not Armageddon

  82. Rasp says:

    I agree about Swansea’s team ethic, they also formed a huddle and kept us waiting to start the game – we would never do that. I’d love it if Merts gathered the players together and gave them a rousing few words to make sure everyone was focused.

  83. Eddie says:

    no, not Armageddon, just a huge let down

    We are third in a season when Chavs, ManU, City are shite. If they played like they did last season we would be 6th, if.

  84. Eddie says:

    well, we will know tomorrow by 3pm if we are on the eve of destruction or not. What do you reckon?

  85. chas says:

  86. Eddie says:

    psssshhh…as if I wanted to see his face again

  87. chas says:

    I think he might cry in the presser.

  88. chas says:

  89. LB says:


    There is something in drafts should you need. It will need two pics: the banner and the army bergen.

  90. Eddie says:

    chas @8:40 – that’s in great!! If we removed the posts we would be fooking top of the league.

  91. Rasp says:

    ….New post …..

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