It is January, and boy have I noticed. Still dark. Still raining. The high of Christmas behind us. The credit card bills arriving. But hang on!
Where there is despondency and gloom, there is also opportunity and light. Here on AA we often use Friday for a Rant, and to get off our chests the bad. Sod that. Let’s imagine a Perfect Arsenal World.
Here’s my plan for the day. Let’s not imagine the £50M striker arriving in January, but rather how all those annoying things magically evaporate, and how the run in to the end of this season will be sprinkled with magic dust.
Let me set the ball rolling by laying down a couple of givens. We will, of course, be winning The Double in May. Ok, so we have that little trophy obstacle out of the way, however, what is it that will make that journey so much more Arsenal Perfectious?
Holloway Road Station has mysteriously become a four track high speed quadruple elevator queueless transport hub, thus allowing all fans the chance to happily stay put until the final peep.
The much needed Oyster and Stout Kiosk has finally arrived in Armoury Square. Pint and Six for a fiver.
Danny Welbeck arrives back and sets new records averaging a phenomenal two goals a game.
Per develops terrible body odour, a filthy attitude, gurns, shouts and fist clenches the side into battle hardened warriors.
Jack returns against Spurs to claim Legendary Status by scoring a hat-trick and celebrating the third by rushing over to the home fans, giving them a Harvey Smith before mooning in full glare of the world’s press.
Chelsea get relegated, while Totnum miss out on a CL place in the 90th minute of the final game when Leicester score the vital extra goal in their game to secure 4th spot over Spuds on goal difference.
I’m out of time and must go. Can you help complete my dream list?
Written by MickyDidIt89