ARSENAL “SEX UP”

I pop out for a couple of days, and what happens? Arsenal sign Brooklyn Beckham. What utterly fabulous news.

bb arsenalThing is, I also noticed that in my absence, there has been much talk, and images, of delicious WAGS, and this got me thinking. You see, a few weeks ago I was talking with a chum who is heavily involved in Sports Marketing, and Football in particular, and he was banging on about how Manchester United’s marketing department is by far the slickest operation in world sports.

He also went on to explain how David Beckham is by far and away the best known Englishman the world over, and while I can’t see that Brooklyn has anything like the gorgeousness of his Old Man, I can see that The Arsenal Marketing Machine may be on the right track.

Sex Sells. Fact. So let’s get thinking.

There have been a series of “Questions of The Day” on here recently, so in line with that theme, I ask: “How can Arsenal Sex Up the club’s image?”

Signing footballers with WAGS that are easy on the eye really does have some mileage, but only if prudently exploited. Cameramen like nothing more than zooming in on eye candy, so the deployment of said WAGS need to be thought through. A WAG seating area, and strict dress code are obvious lines of thinking.

Now while in reality I am incredibly sexist, I see nothing wrong in having “one for the ladies”. Have you seen the state of some of the stewards, or the ball boys and girls. Wow, now there’s an opportunity. Could have something for everyone down there flaunting and taunting along the touchlines. Phewey, how about some Lady Boys for Gentleman who enjoy holidaying alone in Thailand? Why not?

Ever seen those ladies in boxing holding up the “time left” minute boards between rounds. Ever seen that bloke with the extra time board at The Ems. I know what I’m thinking.

Bar Staff in Club Level? The Burger sellers? The Door Men…. Perhaps one of those big muscle bound Right Said Fred types in hot pants for the homosexual supporter. Again, why not?

So, come on Arsenal, get thinking, and get the cash rolling in. We could really set down a marker here. Couldn’t half brighten up a gloomy winter’s day during a dull home 1-1 draw. Everyone’s a winner.

So come on readers, is there anything you can add to this sensational idea for improving the match day experience, and more importantly, ramping up television viewing figures. Let’s help make Arsenal THE footballing experience.

Written by MickyDidIt89

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125 Responses to ARSENAL “SEX UP”

  1. Ball girls for me 🙂

  2. Rasp says:

    Thanks to NorthBank and arnie for your posts, we will publish in the next few days 😛

  3. Cheer leaders in the technical area with Wengerb 🙂

  4. Half time mud wrestling match.. 🙂

  5. That’s enough from me… micky you got me on to a good subject ha ha..

    Off to the bar, I’ve finished my breakfast, now need an aperitif and then lunch 🙂

  6. nigel hill says:

    I don’t like ur ideas no offence but they seem to mainly appeal to gay men and I’m afraid I wouldn’t want my child exposed to that on a weekly basis no offence but that’s my choice! I’m sorry but if author is going to touch on this subject he need to be thinking about female audience and straight men only! Our footballers can’t even come out how u think ur ideas would fly anywhere other than ur fantasies is beyond me!!

  7. arnie says:

    lovely stuff to brighten up a Sunday morning. welcome back Micky! 🙂 🙂 🙂 and welcome back arnie. 😛

    lovely motning batner. 🙂

    SEXing up! replace whinging non-fans with RACKS!

  8. arnie says:

    half time entertainment Brazilian style!

  9. If we are going to get pictures like these, every time Micky writes a post, I vote for DidIT to write all future posts on AA!! 😀

  10. arnie says:

    One for the ladies, lest we are dubbed SEXist! 😛

    Source: http://www.shape.com/celebrities/celebrity-photos/50-sexiest-soccer-players-2014-world-cup

    Line up the SEXisest WC stars for a sexy “dawg”-walk at half time. Encourage more female fans to the ground.

    #1

    #3

    #7

    #24

  11. arnie says:

    and now the fun starts! in moderation!! 😛

    NorthBank: will be over to the sorearse pub shortly! 😛

  12. arnie says:

    and just to remind us about Beckham Sr:

    and an interesting piece from Time:

    http://time.com/2950943/a-scientific-explanation-for-our-obsession-with-sexy-soccer-players/

  13. arnie says:

    Sexy Soccer Reporter Asked To Leave For Being Distraction (Photo)

    by Bryan Rose @ fansided

    A female soccer reporter in Serbia was asked to leave the sidelines for being too hot as she was distracting the players.

    Can you imagine Erin Andrews or Samantha Ponder being asked to leave their reporting duties for being too attractive? Sounds almost too silly to suggest, though it apparently happened during a recent soccer match in Serbia.

    Soccer reporter Katarina Sreckovic was covering a game involving Red Star Belgrade when she was requested to leave the sidelines because she was too sexy and becoming a distraction.

    “It was tough because for a while it seemed as if they might not be able to work with me at all”, Sreckovic said according to The Independent. “I was also asked to go away a couple of times because I was a distraction on the pitch, and players complained that they couldn’t concentrate.”

    I’m not sure what is more absurd here – the fact that players were struggling to concentrate because of the reporter, that Katarina Srekovic was actually asked to leave the field or that she was actually informed the request to leave was because of her looks.

    Props to the team for not lying but really?

    More importantly, why hasn’t the coach for Red Star Belgrade had Katarina Sreckovic start covering the opposition?! If she’s that distracting to your own team who sees her on a daily basis one could reasonably assume your opponent would be equally as distracted, if not more.

    Just another day in the life of a hot woman in the sports industry apparently.

    http://instagram.com/sreckoviceva/

  14. arnie says:

    where is Evonne hiding? 😛

  15. kelsey says:

    Very nice micky
    .
    As you can clearly see by these lovely photos it’s all about having the right balance in front,a well proportioned midfield and a tight defence 😉

  16. mickydidit89 says:

    Reckon Nigel Hill has a tight defence. Or does he? 🙂

  17. mickydidit89 says:

    Actually, I do find today’s comments and images highly offensive to women, and I’d like it to be known that I was using the content of the post as a metaphor for glamming up the club.

    🙂

  18. LB says:

    Blimey, I didn’t realise Evonne looked like that…………..

    Great post Micky, superb read.

  19. See what you started here micky… 🙂

    metaphor my arse ! ha ha

  20. arnie says:

    metaphor. yes, that reminds me. A hat full of busted arseholes. that’s my new favourite description of Maureen. 😛

  21. arnie says:

    Brooklyn Beckham with Victoria Adams. Glamour Women of The Year Awards 2013

  22. This is for the girls and Nigel Hill… 🙂

  23. Nigel Hill may prefer this… 🙂

  24. poigmothoin says:

    Kelsey 12.33 🙂

  25. Hot dog seller goes too far 🙂 mustard or mayo

  26. arnie says:

    Gibbs, Wilshere and Welbeck start for England. hmmm.

  27. arnie says:

    on the bench: Chambers, Chamberlain, Walcott

  28. England only have three subs?

  29. The Cockie Monster says:

    Rack of the Day…..Crack of the Day…….In weight lifting terms, how about…….Snatch of the Day !.

  30. chas says:

    Ah, I see what’s happened here.
    Micky comes back from a couple of days sabbatical and the blog is wall-to-wall filth thereafter.

    My suggestion to sex up Arsenal would be to play a video on the big screens when the opposition score. At least it would take our minds of things.
    How about this?

  31. chas says:

    * off not of

  32. arnie says:

    NorthBank. who cares about the non-Gooners? a pox on their house! 😛

  33. The Cockie Monster says:

    Being proud that Arsenal FC officially became the first club to come out and accept Gay supporters, how about……….Gay of the Day !.

    One for The Gay Gooners.

  34. stevepalmer1 says:

    Evening all, sexing up Arsenal, well; well well i have heard it all now, Might as well play the Arsenal ladies, they stand a chance of winning a game.

    For all the old timers on this site, who constantly tell us about our history, and the standard that’s expected from the Arsenal, i am a little surprised that they haven’t hit the roof.

    Why stop there, why not have pros mingling with the fans, and when we have an off day, we can still have a happy ending..

    Sexing the game up may bring in the money, personally i would prefer footballers who have only football on their minds, and don’t have a week off in every month.

  35. chas says:

    Or this maybe?

  36. The Cockie Monster says:

    I reckon they should screen porn in the toilets !……that way, may be the queue for a pint and pie wouldn`t be so fcuking long !………hold on a sec`…..them toilet queues are pretty long, may be they already have porn in them !.

  37. I’ve got to get all artistic now and post the muff of the day. If PMR’s are broken then I apologise, but anyone can see this in the Musee d’Orsay everyday 🙂

  38. arnie says:

    Rachel Yankey

  39. The Cockie Monster says:

    Hope this passes the mum test !. hahaha

    Alternatively !….AA could have a …Shag, Marry or Avoid day !……( Spursdays are quiet ! )……..where regulars debate the outcome of 3 AAers !….an example would be….Peaches, Eddie and Rasp…….Shag, Marry or Avoid ?.
    I`ll kick off and do it in reverse……
    Avoid !………… that would be Eddie !, although a very attractive psycho, a woman wearing knuckle dusters is not the way to start a date !.

    Marry !…..Peaches….Attractive, Garden Designer, New House….must be loaded !.

    Shag !…..Hope you scrub up well, Rasp, as this is your lucky day !. hahaha

  40. mickydidit89 says:

    Happy Days
    I reckon it’s the last time I’m ever asked to pen a post 🙂
    Right, the Arsenal Lads

  41. The Cockie Monster says:

    Why was I worried ?……… when `69er comes along @ 5:13pm and posts a photo of Transplants syrup !.. hahaha

  42. arnie says:

    Micky. 😛 are you trying to accept responsibility? 😛

  43. mickydidit89 says:

    NB
    Orson Wells filmed Kafka’s The Trial at the Gare D’Orsay, now the Musse d’…
    Just saying.

  44. mickydidit89 says:

    Arnie
    Completely 🙂

  45. mickydidit89 says:

    sp Welles

  46. chas mobile says:

    Welbz looking quite sharp so far.

  47. The Cockie Monster says:

    Peaches Mums Test !………Micky`s post will be responsible for her needing therapy !.

  48. Eddie says:

    nice one Micky! sex sells. fact. spot on!
    I am delighted we signed Brooklyn, although Romeo looks more like his dad. Becks is not only the best known English footballer in the world, he is The most famous player. Everybody heard of David, but ask them about Messi or Ozil and you’ll get some strange looks.

    Terrific game at Wembley 🙂 poor feckers that bought the tickets

  49. mickydidit89 says:

    Now look here Cockie
    Had I known the principle players on the site today were going to be You, NB and Chas, I would never have left the smut door so wide open. 🙂

  50. chas mobile says:

    Don’t start blaming me.
    At least I only put a couple of videos up which you don’t have to look at if you don’t want. 🙂

  51. The Cockie Monster says:

    Hahaha tricky micky !………I`m glad and thankful for the post to be honest, as it shows that compared to `69er and chas……….. I`m like Mother Teresa !. hahaha

  52. arnie says:

    Micky. “left the smut door so wide open”? Am I interpreting this right? in that case, Micky, please dont. It may all end up bloody awful! 😛

  53. Chas

    I wouldn’t mind a tool with a three year guarantee of serving 🙂

  54. I’m just glad that Peaches mum is out for the day 🙂

    Get another post up asap

  55. poigmothoin says:

    I can’t believe the filth I’m viewing and viewing and viewing before the watershed. Where is Peaches mum when you need her. 🙂

  56. We can’t be blamed, we’ll have to say that micky did it 🙂

  57. chas mobile says:

    Oh dear.
    But a pen

  58. We need to get the subject back on to cute animals before P’s M notices anything 🙂

  59. bugger, didn’t notice the title of that videa

  60. mickydidit89 says:

    Oi NB
    I’m not having it. The post contained nothing more than some mild titillation, kinda Carry On style. ‘Tis you what has taken things down to another level. Way, way on down in fact

  61. mickydidit89 says:

    Dannnnnny

  62. chas mobile says:

    Super scuffer from Danny

  63. mickydidit89 says:

    Danny’s life has certainly improved since leaving Manchester. Happy for him.

  64. mickydidit89 says:

    See. Nice work on the vid NB. Ha ha 🙂

  65. chas mobile says:

    Get in

  66. arnie says:

    ha ha ha ha, Welbz! 🙂

  67. whoa… just seen that Danny boy has scored two, come on Welbz 🙂

  68. Don’t you just love our Danny 🙂

  69. mickydidit89 says:

    Blimey, Danny is only 23. Just looked it up.

  70. Oooooh just found Sol Campbell as I scrolled through 😉

  71. mickydidit89 says:

    Peaches
    I am ashamed of the outcome. I had no idea such filth even existed 🙂

  72. mickydidit is innocent 🙂

  73. arnie says:

    innocence is bliss! 🙂

  74. Rasp says:

    Wiltshere man of the match. How come he can play with such discipline for England. Roy must have told him to keep it simple.

  75. mickydidit89 says:

    Interesting topic Rasp, and hi

    Commentator said how AW prefers him playing higher. In fairness to AW, Jack was not pressed today and that’s when he dilly dally’s on the ball too long which can happen anywhere.

    His passing over the top from deep today was mighty impressive

  76. kelsey says:

    Put Welbecks movement and pace with Podolski’s shot and you have a really good player.

  77. kelsey says:

    I have been blushing all day at some of the things I have seen on here today.micky out 🙂

  78. The Cockie Monster says:

    I enjoyed that game, but I still don’t get Jagielka !…and it amazes me that a few weeks ago he was claimed to be the EPL`s fastest player !…..he`s a fat fcuker !, they must have been timing the tubby bastard when he realised that Gregg`s the Bakers was about to close !.

  79. Rasp says:

    Hi Micky you smutfungler 🙂 yes I agree Jack had plenty of space but personally I feel that is his best position. Our midfield loses it’s shake far too easily IMO

  80. mickydidit89 says:

    Seriously Crystals, don’t push me, I’m under intense pressure here today on the back of that post 🙂

    Given Danny hasn’t played centrally consistently for long, could his finishing improve, as if so, wow what a player we could have on our hands.

  81. mickydidit89 says:

    Totally agree Rasp.
    I happen to think it’s Ramsey’s best place as well, stay deep but the odd advance. Hence my post last season about the two not playing together.

  82. kelsey says:

    No, Sanogo is a much better prospect 🙂

  83. kelsey says:

    Ninety comments on smut, well done micky 🙂

    Luckily Nb must be totally drunk and asleep by now.

  84. mickydidit89 says:

    Actually Crystals, I think NB is out back with Peaches and she’s giving him…errrr, some discipline

  85. Eddie says:

    watching a true story about Navy Seals, wow, now those are the real men! by comparison footballers look pathetic

  86. mickydidit89 says:

    Hi Eddie
    I’ve got a Zippo lighter given to me by one of them. It says “Results not Excuses” engraved on it.

  87. mickydidit89 says:

    In fairness to footballers, their job is not to swim ashore, climb a cliff face, then kill people 🙂

  88. Eddie says:

    how much for the Zippo?

  89. Eddie says:

    gotta go, think about it DidIt 🙂

  90. mickydidit89 says:

    Sorry Eddie. It’s a no, I’m afraid.

  91. arnie says:

    Wenger on glamour. Well, sort of. In January 2014. “The only competition I could watch in France when I was a kid was the FA Cup final.

    “On black and white television, every year we saw the cup final. It’s a very prestigious competition for me.

    “It’s true that maybe it does not have the glamour nowadays that it had in the 60s and 70s but it is still for me a very important competition.

    “I remember that I was always admiring Wembley’s pitch because I used to play on really bad pitches and the white ball – it was for me a dream to have this kind of ball!”

  92. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    Yes Micky, Sex.

    F*ucks sake, now your saying there is no longer a place for me at football. Sex things up at football with a plethora of good looking people? The bastards will revoke my season ticket.

    How many good looking people are there anyway? Most people I see look like they have just had a fight with an orangutan.

    Down my way, the rare chance you spot a fit looking bird, theres a pied piper mob of Jeremy Kyle contestants following gormlessly to there death.

    Football doesnt need some fit bird in a bikini or David Beckhams moisturised balls. It needs fat women whos arses can be used to stop traffic accidents and men whose nose can substitute for a coat rack.

    Its time for us ugly bastards to fight back. Why should we tolerate been the face at the window, the one looked upon suspiciously by the police, or stopped by a passer by enquiring “weres the nearest scrap metal yard mate?”

    Going by my experience and current UK population size, if Arsenal concentrated on the ‘I have terrible anus problems’, we would need to expand our capacity to 50 million.

  93. mickydidit89 says:

    ““where’s the nearest scrap metal yard mate?” 🙂 🙂

  94. mickydidit89 says:

  95. mickydidit89 says:

    Looks ok to us. We’re off.

    http://www.eyeballhq.tv/surfcheck/westward-ho/

  96. Those waves look a bit small micky… are you sure they are good enough? 🙂

    This looks ok to me… I think I’ll stay at home:

  97. chas says:

  98. This is the only thing to do with the sea I’m having today, breakfast:

  99. ha ha Chas

    Prince Danny 🙂

  100. Garlic marinated in virgin olive oil. You would be amazed how good this is for your health yum:

  101. Sun dried tomatoes in olive oil. Just something about them that reminds me of something else, I just cant put my finger on it 🙂

  102. Eddie says:

    I knew it micky. If I had something like that, I wouldn’t sell.

    A question for you – if someone was in the SAS or the Navy Seals once, then retired or whatever, are they allowed to tell others about their previous occupation?

  103. Eddie

    They could tell you but then they’d have to kill you 🙂

  104. I new a bloke who told me that although he was retired from the SAS, occasionally he was asked to do surveillance. During the height of the IRA in the late 70’s he was told to get a job in a pub on the South Coast to keep an ear open for any potential risks

  105. Eddie says:

    NB – of course he would kill me – I’d never stop asking questions 🙂
    I think there are many ex soldiers claiming to be the SAS and making up stories.

  106. You have to remember Eddie, that despite my dodgy background, I did actually become a civil servant in the Probation Service. The guy, who became my friend, I’d first met at a Home Office function at their head quarters in London.

    I’m sure many ex-soldiers, and others, make up stories. 🙂

  107. Eddie says:

    NB – and the ex-cons are the biggest fibbers 🙂 🙂 🙂

    I knew someone who was a member of special forces – he would not say a word about it. I tried extremes to get him talking, nothing. Maybe I wasn’t his type 🙂

  108. I’m now stuck with images of you trying all extremes to get him talking 🙂

  109. And just for the record… I don’t tell fibs 🙂

  110. Eddie says:

    NB – you don’t tell fibs? oh, I do 🙂

  111. I wouldn’t expect anything else from a woman called ‘Eddie’ 🙂

  112. My Sunday post is niw up on GunnersoreArse for those interested. An exploration of what our fanbase is likely to experience soon:

    http://wp.me/p4FeF9-bw

  113. The Cockie Monster says:

    Just a flash of Eddies knuckle dusters and I`d spill the beans !. hahaha

  114. Cockie, you’d probably spill them into your pants 🙂

  115. Morning all

    Serious post today so can we try to avoid the pornography please.

    We have a New Post ……………………………….

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