Continuing the Alternative Arsenal Alphabet, we move on to the letter B which, when lying on its side, looks quite comical.
Please remember this is the ALTERNATIVE alphabet, so don’t scream and shout at the absence of Brady and Bergkamp.
Boring
There was a time, when we kept winning games 1-0 and when George Graham’s famous defence was meaner than Scrooge, when we fans actually revelled in the ‘Boring, Boring Arsenal’ epithet. But it was much more fun later on when Arsene arrived and we became ‘Scoring, Scoring Arsenal.’
Battle of Old Trafford
It was September 2003… Arsenal and Manchester United were the two best teams in the country; Patrick Vieira and Roy Keane were in their pomp; the rivalry was intense. Vieira was sent off in the 80th minute after receiving two yellow cards in three minutes – thanks in part to play-acting by Van Nistelrooy. In the dying seconds, with the score at 0-0, United won a penalty. Van Nistelrooy took it but it hit the bar. The reaction from the Arsenal players was fantastic – with Martin Keown bouncing in the Dutchman’s face like a demented Zebedee. A mass scuffle broke out, leading to five Arsenal players and two United players later being fined.
Battle of the Buffet
A little over a year later and we were back in Manchester with a 49 match unbeaten run under our belts. Mike Riley and a ridiculous dive from the Granny Shagger conspired to end our run. The fun really started in the tunnel, when scuffles broke out and Cesc Fabregas lamped a pizza onto Alex Ferguson’s head. The first and only time a pizza has been served with an extra topping of twat.
Bragg
Melvyn Bragg – or Lord Bragg to you – is one of our celebrity fans – and as one of the most erudite and intelligent gents in the land (check out his wonderful “In Our Time” show on Radio 4), it just goes to show that Arsenal supporters are the brightest and the best. By contrast the Spuds boast Darren Day and Chas ‘n’ Dave among their support, while the Chavs have David Mellor and Michael Greco.
Banana
Chelsea fans can bombard our players with a thousand sticks of celery at Wembley and that’s OK; Spud fans can pelt an injured player (Theo) and the stretcher bearers who are carrying him with coins and that’s OK. One Arsenal fan throws a single banana at Gareth Bale and he gets banned for three years (perhaps he should have launched an a-peel). Mind you, I did like this line from the trial: “Thomas Flint, who, the court heard, has no interests other than football, was sentenced to a three-year football banning order, fined £250 and ordered to pay costs of £85 and a £25 victim surcharge.”
Buying Trophies
It may work for the Oilygarchs of Manchester and West London, but I am delighted to say that it’s something that Britain’s classiest club does not engage in.
Right that’s a few to get you started… now over to you.
RockyLives
Arsenal News 24/7
arsenalarsenal.net 
ha ha ha ha. Brilliant Rocky. 🙂 🙂 FIRST.
And Big Raddy. Great fun!!!!! Without Raddy’s pre-matches and quiet and strong views about everything Arsenal, where would we be!!!!!
“Born is the King of Highbury”!
GG Loves a BUNG
“The first and only time a pizza has been served with an extra topping of twat.”
Hahaha. So true.
B is for Bischoff…Amauri Bischoff.. Secret agent. Rumour has it he could give 10 chickens indigestion, and kill one Highland Terrier, with a single twang of his hamstring.
Bollocks ( of the dogs ) is what we are !.
Blockley ( Jeff ). Bertie Mee`s self confessed “worst mistake ” !. We call something sublime…” Bergkampesque” !, may be something atrocious should be called… “Blockleyesque” !. Forty one years later and I`m still sending him death threats !.
Bishop Bashers…….Spud fans.
“Bullshit” The period between the end of the season and signing Mesut Özil.
The biggest bastard on the terraces is the one who shouts “Give us a “B” at a Borussia Monchengladbach game.
Hey Cockie Monster may I add John Hawley to your “blockleyesque”
pile?
Do me a favour and update your goalscorers list, I know for a fact that Ramsey has scored an FA cup goal.
B – bete noire – I can think of many over my 50 plus years! Sheringham, Shearer, Poll, probably stand out.
– balderdash – a polite way of summing up Talkshite
– blancmange – just a word I like!
Thanks for the instruction Stephen, anything else I can do for you?
On celebrity fans: Bernard Butler, Saffron Burrows, Ronnie Biggs, Raymond Blanc, an apparently even Darren Bent and Karren Brady
I am confused, Rocky.
You know I am a simple person and need to be told exactly what is required, please? 😀
Thing is are we talking about an alternative alphabet, in which case;
The new Klingdon Alphabet: ž d ë ę ż œ ź æ p ł w q b d ã
ždžë ęæł ãžęœź æwãI. (Your horse has farted);
Or are we looking for an alternative dictionary?
In which case, there is no contest – Cockie Monster will win hands down – he is barmy after all! 🙂
ëżźæ płqdãž dëęœæ Cockie. We all love you, Cockie! 🙂
Great fun piece Rocky 😀 . The only “B” I want to see is a Plan B.
” Arsene, Arsene give us a B,”
Boner !……..Surely I wasn`t the only one to get one when Ramsey scored the winner !.
Blind !……..Wenger didn`t see it !.
Beaver !…….Silent Stan wears a symbiotic one on his head !.
Beard !……Biggy R likes them on PM`s and they are essential must have`s for the Iranian branch of Arsenal Woman`s Supporters Club !.
Barrel !…….there seems to be a lot of scraping the bottom of it at the end of our Transfer Windows !.
Bondage !…….Essential when trying to remove Arsene`s wallet in Transfer Window !.
Bible !……. The Ten Commandments 1) Though shall hate Totnumb !. 2) Ditto. 3) Ditto. 4) Ditto. 5) Ditto. 6) Ditto. 7) Ditto. 8) Ditto. 9) Ditto, 10) Ditto.
Bum !……Please, an end to squeaky ones !.
Blessed ( Brian ) is the one……who should be an Arsenal cheer leader !.
Budgie smugglers !……..Hands up those who have a mirror and a bell in theirs !…….the fcuking constant ringing, I thought I had tinnitus !.
Braille !……..I have my name and address etched onto my todger and like to walk into a blind women`s WI meeting and tell them I`m lost !.
Cockie, 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
I said you would win!!!!!!
Hi Redders !……As a walking dictionary, I`m sure you would have no trouble in out witting me !. 😀
TCM……..lmao
Beautiful piece = Rocky.
Bloody funny = “an a-peel”
Boring also goes to = Repetitive Bullshit served up by Backward “fans” and Blind “experts”
BBB Triple B = Bye Bye Bendtner.
Import B’s sorted first by goals then games and based on playing at least 150 games.
Although this is our alphabetic “B” list many of these players are on our all time “A” list.
Bastin Cliff -178, 396
Brain Jimmy – 139, 232
Bergkamp – 120, 423
Baker Joe – 100, 156
Bloomfield Jimmy – 56, 227
Ball Alan – 52, 217
Blyth Billy – 51, 343
Baker Alf – 26, 351
Barnes Wally – 12, 294
Bould Steve – 8, 372
Butler Jack – 8, 296
Forget Import and start reading at B’s sorted first……………..
Blog Blocker – GN5 comments!
Benzema and…Balotelli..and err…Bender…and err B..B..B..errrr…ummm..Barsene Benger and Bacary Bagna and errr…
Well, that’ll do.
Thanks for the inspiration Rocky 🙂
Phew, first day of house moving done. Damn it’s great. Everyone so excited.
Where you going Didit ?……..North, South, West or East of your current position ( wherever that is ) ?…….knowing your love of the surf, I`m going to guess closer to the beach….West ?…….then again you like Dartmoor, so it could be South !…..maybe a different county !…..stressful, but exciting moving house !. Good luck with the move .
Boner !……..Surely I wasn`t the only one to get one when Ramsey scored the winner !.
……………………………………..
Well just as long as it wasn’t your reaction to seeing GN5 and me on video!!!!
:>)
Jeff Blockley, God a name from the past. He wasn’t that bad.. but not that great either!!
Mickey Boot.. played 4 games scored two goals.
Then disappeared to South Africa or somewhere.
Feel sorry for Orient. I usually will go there on my trips over if Arsenal are away and they are at home.
B is for Blog and it’s wonderful bloggers 😉
B is for Board – we are relying on them to spend Big Bucks this summer to Bring Big Bloody Brazilian striker and even Bigger defender
you are extremely witty Mr Rocky! Thanks for great fun with the Bees
Look guys tomorrow is the 25th anniversary of Anfield89 and while we’ve got great Anfield 89 posts to repeat it would be good to have an amazing introduction from someone.
Have a think, I’ll be back in the morning 😉
where is 26? does he not have a moral obligation, having adopted 26may1989 as his blog name! 😛
Sunny morning 🙂
Could do an intro Peaches 🙂
sunny? did you move abroad Mr DidIt?
Peaches. Sent.
Oh good, it’s raining in the South East is it, Evonne?
About bloody time we had the best of the weather 🙂
pee off Didit, you get stunning views all year round!
Am I allowed to ask what you think of that Nigel Farage? I sort of agree with his views, but don’t trust him, he’s a funny fecker
Morning All,
B for Brand,. We are a club unlike some .
Buddhist. How we miss Steve 😀
Blip. A 9 year one
Beer. Goes so well with football
and BR to top the list 🙂
and where is Herb, has anyone heard from him lately? I’d be interested to see if he changed his views on AW now
Don’t like him 🙂
Ahhh, Buddhist Steve ROLF
Herb said he wasn’t going to blog here anymore a couple of months ago after a small dispute.
Shame, it was always good to read his comments even if I didn’t always agree.
whom? BR or Farage , or both?
Micky. I should go back and re-read Buddhist Steve Day – it was one of the blogs highlights.
Hope the move goes smoothly. At least there is plenty of room for your things!
Raddy – yes, a pity. He had incredible knowledge on all Arsenal related matters.
Where’s chas?
Camping or the Sauna?
Micky – when I was looking for new digs I was assessing space for dogs and bees. Did you take into account space for your pigs? Or are you going to leave them behind?
Real removals people here weds and thurs, but we started yesterday with a big trailer.
Evonne: setting up the surf wet/dry shed today, you’ll be pleased to hear. Oh, and what will be the veggie garden, cripes, have we got our work cut out.
Great, no more smelly rubber suits in the kitchen! Yes, I am very happy about it!
Chas is camp
They are coming. There’s a lovely old open sided shed leading into their own paddock. They will be very happy, and so will Mrs Didit, as they won’t be able to roam around the garden smashing pots any more
ha ha ha 🙂 fantastic! I hope you are all very happy in your new home!
“Chas is camp” 🙂
Bet he has an inflatable hot tub, so that he can invite new “friends” over.
Actually, I remember Chas saying they take a spare tent for special “friends”. My God, it must be a debauched and sordid affair.
In fact, it all sounds rather Scandinavian, wouldn’t you say Raddy? 🙂
sounds perverted to me. I just hope he wont publish any photos here 🙂 After seeing JP my life will never be the same again
first world cup fixture – Brazil v Croatia, yummy
😀 😀
I bet he serves Rose´ wines.
Yes, Scandi’s are very “hospitable”
That’ll be ok, Evonne, he takes two cameras, and all images from Tentcam only go on specialist websites.
brrrrrrr….i am too catholic for all that.
Indeed Raddy.
I heard the reason Scandis hop straight into bed within minutes of meeting, is to determine early doors whether it’s worth the effort of bothering moving on to the conversational level.
I think they’re dead right.
I thought such behaviour was very catholic
Micky. Shame we didn’t grow up here!!
It’s trailer time for me.
Very Happy May 26 one and all.
Morning all
Thanks Micky for the post.
Happy 26 may to you all.
happy 26 may everyone.
plans for climbing Cairngorm scuppered by rain and fog yesterday. ultimately we gave up. revised plan today. walk from Crail to Elie along the Fife coast. hopefully better weather
I am going back to bed, no point doing anyything else in such treacherous conditions
I checked the Brazilian and Argentine squads – scaaaaary stuff
Didit – do you know, personally that weirdo Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall? He shares many of your interests and hobbies
I think I`ll get my boyz toyz out !…….up the top field on my 42″ cut John Deere ride-on-mower !. I can see Kit Hill and Dartmoor from up there !……Heaven !.
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