Really hate to bring him up again, but remember my Uncle Earnest, well last week dark clouds descended when the revolting reptile materialized on the other end of the phone. Anyway, thing was, despite clearly having been on the sauce and tight as an owl, still managed to inform me that I was taking him out to eat on Friday night as he was staying with one of his “business chums” not too far away.
According to him, his lifetime ban of ever setting foot South of the Border has “expired”. Anyway, funny thing about Uncle Earnest is watching him at work with a Menu. In his 79 debauched years, no-one has ever known him order anything other than Soup, Steak and Apple Pie. That’s ok. The strange thing is, you’ll never meet anyone, anywhere, who spends more time pouring over a Menu. He takes forever, and yet the result is always the same. Then the whole bloody performance starts again when asked if he’d like a pudding. “Do you have Apple Pie?”. “I’m afraid not, Sir”. “Then may I see the Menu?”. Oh God, here we go again. Twenty minutes later, he hands the wretched thing back. “Nothing for me, thank you”.
This all ties in nicely with the idea of “what not to buy”, and as usual, my mind races to matters Arsenal. A few days ago The Morning Crew on here were discussing that both Persie and Balotelli may be on the radar, and I’m guessing one or two of the Natives may have certain reservations, which made me think about who we “don’t” want to sign. Now we hear that Arsene has been dining with Brave’s Agent, so the whole sordid business surfaces again.
I love few things more than a bit of transfer speculation, but am aware it’s not everyone’s bag, so I’ve come up with an inverted form. Who, or what sort, would you least like Arsene to buy?
For example, who was the last Scouser who managed to cope with the bright lights in the Metropolis. Can’t think of one, so they’re out.
Is there such a thing as a Footballing Intelligence Test, or is it the same as an IQ? Don’t know but I’d have thought players like Frimpong would have failed with low flying colours.
Any other traits we don’t like? Biting ears off other people seems to upset some. Not me, as it goes.
Is it ok to occasionally break the “Team Spirit Code” and sign a single minded, solitary, moody individual? The creative genius. The young McEnroe sort. I think it is. Enter Balotelli perhaps.
Oooh, forgot to mention. Uncle Earnest always travels with his vicious little Highland Terrier, Duncan. Complete bastard is Duncan, and hates my guts. Just stares at me, top lip curled back, muttering away under his breath in Gaelic. Makes me think of the kind of bloke we need in midfield really. Or not.
So who, or what sort, would you never want to see on The Arsenal Menu?
Written by MickyDidIt89