Ok, we lost at Old Trafford again, but so what? In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t mean much. I’ve had worse times fitting into my trousers. We are closing the gap on all the top teams and soon will be beating the lot of them. Bet you any money, and I can’t coz I’me skint, that we will win the league this year.
No, I take my cue from Arsene. The man exudes confidence and I have every faith he is building a great side. This confidence is vital if you are to achieve your goals. Alright, I know we all can’t be like Arsene. I dont go into my local bank and say to the cashier “I am like Arsene, so you will put £100,000 into this carrier bag and ask no questions”. I have tried, it don’t work.
Look, I know about these things. After the Mrs threw me out I was at a low ebb. I would wander into my late night Tesco’s in the hope somebody would talk to me, but no one ever did. Well, apart from the security guard, who threw me out a couple of times for “Staring at people”. Now, if that was Aaron Ramsey, do you think he would be thrown out of Tesco’s? Of course not, because he has confidence that’s why.
Our confidence is growing, but we need more. We would never have lost to Utd if we had more faith. Our ability exceeds theirs.
Confidence is king. About six months ago I saw a picture of Oliver Giroud in the paper with his girlfriend, she was a right stunner. I thought, why can’t I have a women like that? Ok, he looks like Giroud because he is Giroud, and I look like Ralph Coates, but the reason he is successful with women is confidence.
Anyway, I went to one of these over 40’s discos to try my luck. You know sometimes you switch on the Box and see some Boffin talking about the possibility of Invisibility, well they’re talking bollix, I have already invented it. Not one women spoke to me all night. Imagine having invented an Invisibility Cloak and the thing only works on you. Would Giroud have been invisible to those women? Course not, confidence that’s why.
The confidence of the players is strongly linked to Arsene Wenger. The man is a genius for instilling belief in his teams. That’s why we will bounce back from the Utd defeat.
I wish my Boss was like Arsene, but he aint, he’s an horrible Git, Totnumb fan too. He’s the kind of bloke that talks to people without looking at them, usually because he’s counting cash.
Yeah, I can really see Arsene greeting Alex Chamberlin in his office with “you might play. £240, £260, £280, you might not”.
As I said, the main reason we didn’t do Utd was our confidence is still not 100%. We played with a bit of fear, bought on from previous disappointing encounters. We just have to beat them once up there, then we will be beating them all the time.
We can’t let our confidence wane now, it would be a tragedy, turning us into nasty people and costing us the league. A few months back I was invited to a family party. I hated it. Full of couples having a good time and kids running around being a nuisance. One particular kid was really winding me up. He was about nine or ten and was going round kicking and swinging at people “Ahhh, little Joe has been affected by the cola, bless”. F*ck that, the little Runt was getting on my nerves. He picked on me for special treatment, probably realising I was the sad loser in the corner.
Now if I was full of confidence like Per Mertsacker, I would probably have laughed it off, but because I was on a bit of a low I cornered him in the kitchen “Have you ever had a seriously aggressive snow ball fight with a middle aged man and suffered moderate injury requiring hospitalisation”? He got the message. “Ahhh, little Joe is tired from running around” they all said, as he lay face down on the couch sobbing.
We have tremendous potential running through the Club and team. The idea is to keep the squad together, let it mature and improve and then add when necessary. I can see us beating the top boys at home this year, but only if we believe, and we should believe. The quality is there to beat anybody. Look at the young players at our disposal. Fantastic talents who will only get better.
If you believe, anything is possible. Just like Arsenal, I too am rising again.
In the Loft that I share with a couple of pigeons I have installed a microwave machine and eat a whole variety of delicious readymade meals. I have also replaced my 1970’s heater with a flash 1980’s version which means I now no longer need to rub up to the pigeons for warmth.
In addition, I have joined an internet dating site. Wasn’t very successful at first, but since I removed my own photo and replaced it with a fake of some male model from the Argos catalogue, I am getting plenty of attention. Though one women almost caught me out when she asked whether I had ever been used in a promotion for an electronic Drill.
Yes, just like the mighty Gunners, things are looking up.
I will leave you with this. Arsenal is on the verge of a great team with a fantastic future. The only thing we have to do is get behind the team and instil as much confidence in them as we can. When you have not won anything for eight years, you need belief and we can help push the team over the line, that’s our part.
The Ghosts of the Thirties are Stirring
Written by TMHT