In the wake of some Club Financials, I am going to assume that future commercial deals are in good hands. That leaves the biggest threat to our business being the renewal/take-up of Corporate Boxes, and the massive contribution to match day income (someone can correct me, but I believe it represents something around 30% of match day revenue). I have noticed some spaces up there, and this is worrying. What’s to be done?

Well, let’s begin by studying these creatures.

I have only been in a box once. While very generous of my host, and I did have a great evening sitting with real die hard Arsenalistas in our compartment, I have to say that the boxes surrounding us were filled with decidedly uninterested looking sorts. Their mobile telephones were very busy and I could only think that it was an okay evening out. Nothing more.

Firstly, I must point out that I have nothing against Corporations or Big Business, although sitting amongst them does not rock my boat. However, we at The Arsenal do need to show them a good time, and I’m not convinced we are doing a very good job. I think the most fundamental error is in assuming these people are here primarily for the football. I don’t think so. It’s to impress someone, meet someone, tick a box, its free, and ok some like a game but probably follow some other team, while overall I would imagine only a tiny percentage are serious Arsenal Fans.

In the name of research, I have just visited The Arsenal site and unearthed this picture. Let’s be honest, if we were comparing to hotels, then these boxes are at the Travelodge end of the market. I also downloaded these prices for the next home game.

Executive Box Package
10 Seater @ £4,500 + vat
12 Seater @ £5,400 + vat
15 Seater @ £6,750 + vat

Right, so £450 a pop including lunch and nibbles. Just had a look around options on the same day, and you can get best tickets to see someone called Cheryl for £100, or Swan Lake at The Royal Opera House for the same price. Alright, so no chicken legs included and no welcoming glass of fizz, but still.

Look, 90% of Corporate are male, and we know what generally constitutes a good night out. Think Stag Party, belching, farting, and throwing up. I know what I would do…ban women, improve the waitresses, cut the quality of the booze and vastly increase the quatity, and turn a blind eye to smoking and inhaling. Re-instate the 3^rd floor as THE place to be for rich, fertile and highly obnoxious City high flyers, and turn this tier into a sea of vice.

I do understand that you may have other suggestions.

Written by MickyDidIt89