A Song For Smith Rowe

A player on song…

Rumour has it that Emile Smith Rowe is about to sign a new five-year contract extension, which is truly excellent news.

It’s important that we don’t get carried away with how good this young man is and put too much pressure on his young shoulders.

But quite clearly he’s already better than Brady, Bergkamp, Pires, Merson, Fabregas and Ozil.

Only joking. But there’s nothing wrong with having high hopes for the lad.

And if he’s going to be with us for years to come and featuring regularly in our first team he needs a song.

I have a couple of offerings, but they’re both a bit rubbish, so feel free to come up with something better

  1. To the tune of that nursery favourite, Row, Row, Row Your Boat:

Rowe, Rowe, Emile Smith Rowe

First name in our team,

When he scores another goal

Don’t forget to scream.

(Original lyrics)

Row, row, row, your boat

Gently down the stream,

If you see a crocodile

Don’t forget to scream.

2. To the tune of the Christmas song ‘Let It Snow’:

Emile Smith Rowe’s delightful

And his passes so insightful,

If we want to score some goals

Play Smith Rowe, play Smith Rowe, play Smith Rowe.

(Original lyrics)

Oh, the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Ok, I’ll get me coat.



49 Responses to A Song For Smith Rowe

  1. Neil Pearce says:

    To the tune of johnny comes marching home
    Again again again again we’ll sing well sing
    Again again again again we’ll sing well sing
    When Emile smith scored a goal your shove your heads right up
    Your hole , and well
    All go mad when Tottenham go down Again

  2. AG says:

    We’ve got Smith Rowe, Emile Smith Rowe
    I just don’t think you understand
    He’s Artetas man
    He’s better than Zidane
    We’ve Got Emile Smith Rowe

    Deserves this much more than Ozil ever did!

  3. RA says:

    Hmm, a little tricky but;

    Emile’s simply the best

    Better than all the rest

    He’s better than anyone

    Anyone I’ve ever met

    At finding the back of the net

    Go Emile!!!! 😎

  4. RC78 says:

    Maybe a bit out there and definitely needs some finetuning

    On the tune of Low Low Low by Flo Rida (not a classic but a nice tune to it)

    Blond hair in the wind (wind)
    Boots with cleets (cleets)
    First name on the sheet (sheet)
    Racking assists (assists)
    Scoring some goals, you know
    It’s Rowe Rowe Rowe Rowe Rowe Rowe Rowe Rowe

  5. sean vassallo says:

    What a bunch of fucking children.A few decent games and you’ve got a song for him loooool.Oh and AG you’re a twat.Don’t think Ozil bothered himself too much about a song from a bunch of hypocrites.

  6. RC78 says:

    It is all good fun Sean – nothing too serious. No need to get all worked up about a song that probably will never be sung at the stadium anyways…

  7. TotalArsenal says:

    Excellent post, Rocky. Emile looks a bit like an old fashioned pilot so I go with your first song.

  8. AG says:

    Sean, I am genuinely embarrassed for you. You go onto the comments section of a light-hearted article about an up and coming Arsenal player and call someone a twat. What a great human being you must be in this of all years. I just hope I don’t sit next to you in the North Bank.

  9. Rasp says:

    Just for info, sean vassallo is a totnum supporter who has nothing better to do than to troll arsenal sites spouting drivel. He usually ends up in the bin but we do not need to pay him that compliment.

  10. TotalArsenal says:

    Not pilot but pirate! 😁

  11. LB says:

    I am glad Sean never ended up in the bin, in the usual sad way, it is quite a funny comment.

    Good bit of fun today.

    I think ESR will get the Ozil song.

    I just don’t think you understand etc.

  12. Rasp says:

    We could revive the Giroud one to the tune of Hey Jude … ending with Smith Rowe …. but it seems too much for him at such a young age. It would be more fun to have something incorporating ‘the Croydon De Bruyne’

  13. Sue says:

    Sokratis has gone then! Be an interesting song with his surname in!!
    He’s left for WWE…. 😆😆

  14. RockyLives says:

    Dunno Sue, there must be something that can be done with Papastathopoulos and ‘Papa’s Got a Brand New Pig Bag’ by James Brown/Pigbag…

    Anyway, best of luck to Papa. He always put in a good shift for us whenever he pulled on the shirt.

  15. RockyLives says:

    Some nice contributions there, everyone.

  16. Gööner In Exile says:

    Swing Low Sweet Chariot. I need something for the Sweet Chariot bit.

    Smith Rowe,
    Coming for to carry us home
    Smith Rowe,
    Coming for to carry us home

    I looked over Arsenal and what did I see
    Coming for to carry us home
    Emile and Saka playing for free
    Coming for to carry us home

  17. Gööner In Exile says:

    Smith Rowe, plays number 10?

  18. RockyLives says:

    Love it GiE!!!

    How about:

    Smith Rowe, the Croydon de Bruyne,
    Coming for to carry us home
    Smith Rowe, there’s nobody finer,
    Coming for to carry us home

    (With line 3 it helps if you’re Irish: “…nobody foyner…” 😀

  19. Gööner In Exile says:

    While we’re at it surely Saka needs a song too?


    His Name is Saka, Bukayo Saka
    The hottest man in north London
    His Name is Saka, Bukayo Saka
    Dribbling and crossing and always his scoring
    With Saka we fell in love

    I’ll get my coat.

  20. RA says:

    I think there is nothing wrong with Sok’s surname ‘Pasthepolos’.

    That’s another surprise to me — not that he is leaving, but the story of him being an experienced, hard as nails player who took no s**t from anyone, played well — got injured and disappeared.

    He was arse nalled as far as I see it.

    Still he gets a ‘free’ with his contract terminated today.

  21. Gööner In Exile says:

    Like the Croydon de Bruyne thing, but I’d prefer if the player wasn’t still live in the Pl.

    That was always good about the Romford Pele, he wasn’t anywhere near as good as Pele but for Romford he was, the thing with ESR he could easily be as good as De Bruyne, so we should aim higher and maybe someone who is no longer playing the Croydon Platini?

  22. Sue says:

    My favourite Sokratis moment!!

  23. LB says:

    He is a diver, makes my skin crawl

  24. LB says:

    Well, we have to say that Mikel’s to do list is slowly going down.

  25. RockyLives says:

    So is Kane.

    All those ‘England Captain’ fouls and penalties he wins.


  26. RC78 says:

    Arsenal’s Winter clearance:
    – Ozil out
    – Sok out
    – Who is next? Mustafi?

  27. Pete the Thirst says:

    LoL Rocky Can I have some of what you’re on? Must be good sh!t

  28. Pete the Thirst says:

    Hopefully RC78

    He’s been an unmitigated disaster since he arrived for £35m. £35m!!!

    I’ve read rumours today that Mustafi, Kolasinac & Ozil were a problem group in the dressing room.

    ‘RC78 says:
    January 20, 2021 at 2:57 pm
    Arsenal’s Winter clearance:
    – Ozil out
    – Sok out
    – Who is next? Mustafi?’

  29. GoonerB says:

    Thanks Rocky. Rasp is the one with the musical talent so I expect no less than 5 suggestions from him and maybe even an original specially written song for him.

    When I started reading the post I thought for all the world it was an RA post as it was in his indelible style. Is our giant Wichitarian friend getting into your head Rocky?

    I think I must have said a couple if years back that Smith Rowe reminded me of De Bruyne in his style of play and movement. However, like GIE I am not sure having his name linked with someone still playing in this league quite works.

    The Romford Pele was always more tongue in cheek anyway but Smith Rowe’s comparison to great technical players is more of a direct comparison. Personally I think we should go with the “Croydon Bergkamp”. A technical number 10 that makes the team tick and scores and assists. The similarities are there.

  30. Pete the Thirst says:

    A song for Sean. To the tune of the Ozil ditty:

    Sean Vassallo
    He’s snorted too much blow
    I just don’t think you understand
    It’s just a bit of fun
    Stick your finger up your 8um
    Sean Vassallo

    *calm down

  31. Sue says:

    Hello RA.. I’ve just seen your comment on the previous thread.It made me chuckle, almost belly laugh, about how you read the sports pages in the supermarket and nobody challenges you! 🤣 Can you blame them?! I’m not sure I would either 🤣 Although I’d expect to see you down the tinned food aisle – the ‘jolly’ green giant!!

  32. Gööner In Exile says:

    GB I considered suggesting Bergkamp, but felt that was a large burden to shoulder for anyone.

    5 year contract extension good to hear, hopefully we start getting all the youngsters nailed down.

    If £45k a week is correct the kid is now made for life. £11.7m over the next five years guaranteed, just concentrate on your football now young man.

  33. RC78 says:

    In 3 years, we could have the following line-up

    Leno – Bellerin, Holding, Gabriel, Tierney – Partey, ? – Saka, ESR, Martinelli – ?

    which is basically missing 2 players…and we may get them this winter or next summer so building a relatively young and competitve team for the years to come?

  34. RockyLives says:


    I’d be surprised if Hector is still here in three years time, but you never know.

    All we need now is the new Gilberto Silva to play alongside Partey and we’re sorted.

  35. RockyLives says:


    A bit harsh to describe Redders’ style as “inedible.”

    I find his prose style very palatable. 😀

  36. Daz says:

    We should buy Luka Jovic the Serbian striker at Real Madrid struggling atm he’s built for the PL to replace Laca in the Summer

  37. RA says:


    I am an early riser and when I get to the local supermarket they often tend to be unloading some fresh food, and I give them a hand while awaiting the newspaper deliveries.

    The deal is, I don ‘t eat to much of their fresh comestibles, while they let me read the sports.

    Hence it bugs me when you are so brilliant at unearthing the latest transfer news. 🤔

  38. RA says:

    Rocky, Rocky, take no notice of that naughty GB.

    I would never allow him to impugn your eloquent and apposite prose — no siree.

    Now Emillia SR that is interesting, indeed;

    See how he dives
    From those boots in the gloom

    See how he darts
    Through the Ems like a loon

    Past kicks and eels
    Any way he feels
    Past fluffs of mud
    And fresh camel crud

    See how he wins
    A foul with a swerve
    A flip of his … zipper,
    A flick of his wrist!

    Softer than spray,
    He goes down, rightaway
    With a sneaky sway
    Like he’s having it away

    Before you can utter,
    He’s a cheating nutter
    He’s done it again
    And squawks like a hen.

    Now that is a high class poem and difficult to write, but I can teach you, if you feel like you might. 😉

  39. RockyLives says:

    Top Quality Redders 😀

  40. GoonerB says:

    Readers, that last bit was truly indelible in style but I wouldn’t want to eat it.

  41. Sue says:

    RA.. An early riser, hey?! 😉😜😂

  42. GoonerB says:

    Frickin phone….. Redders not readers

  43. JM says:

    Emile Smith Rowe – “Croydon Zidane”

  44. RockyLives says:

    Croydon Cruyff ?

  45. RC78 says:

    What about closer to home…”Croyden Pires”

  46. RockyLives says:

    New Post

  47. Sam says:

    To the tune of pilot by magic

    Oh, ho, ho, he’s magic, smith Rowe
    never believe it’s no so,
    he’s magic Smith Rowe,
    never believe it’s not so

  48. Sam Cross says:

    Croydon De Bruyne!!!
    We’ve got the Croydon de Bruyne
    Croydon De Bruyneeeeeee
    We got the Croydon de Bruyneeeee!

    To the tune of there’s only one Arsene Wenger

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