Move over Gunnersaurus, there’s a new comedy act in town.
He’s there to amuse the kids and provide moments of slapstick fun for all the family.
Yes, it’s Runarssaurus! Laugh, as he flaps his hands in the air while the ball flies off the head of an opposition striker; giggle, as he cleverly guides a tame shot into our net using nothing but his own patent rubber wrists.
Or perhaps, as Bob Monkhouse once said: “When I said I wanted to grow up to be a comedian they laughed. They’re not laughing now.”
We’re not laughing now, are we?
A slick Man City side dumped us out of the Carabao cup last night, winning 4-1 at the Emirates in a game that turned into a horror show for our young reserve goalie, Alex Runarsson.
I feel bad for writing the headline and making fun of the lad, but his signing always seemed a bit odd (he was a reserve ‘keeper in the French Ligue 2 and not particularly rated by his team’s supporters. His stats were bang average or worse).
But apparently our goalkeeping coach had worked with him previously and ‘saw something in him’. Hmmm.
Anyway, the kid didn’t buy himself and nor does he pick himself so if it looks like he’s just not up to it at this level of football it’s not his fault, it’s on the club and the coaches.
And who knows, maybe he has immense strength of character and this will be the making of him, which would be wonderful for him and us… although somehow I doubt it.
The sad thing was that after going behind after two minutes (a headed goal for which Mustafi and Runarsson probably share most responsibility) we had hauled ourselves back into the game with an excellent Lacazette goal following not one but two superb crosses from Martinelli.
At 1-1 we were very much in the game, at least until Martinelli got crocked in a 50-50 with the City ‘keeper. Could or should the ‘keeper have been booked or red carded? I don’t know. If it was the other way round I’d be saying that he was quick off his line and got the ball.
Nevertheless, we were in the game. Then came City’s second and Runarsson’s humiliation. A Mahrez free kick came straight at him at a perfect height to catch or (if you’re Leno) to punch away. Runarsson did neither, merely deflecting the ball into our goal with the most limp wristed effort I’ve seen since John Inman was free.
It was going to be tough enough eking out a result against the most financially doped team in the Premier League without gifting them a goal. Our heads went down and the last two City goals were just the botulism on the cake.
Can I make a plea to our recruitment team: if we’re going to sign a crap goalie, please can we sign a BIG crap goalie. There aren’t many small, successful ‘keepers at the highest level and poor young Runarsson looked like a player in a schoolboy team last night.
To compound a miserable night, Martinelli looked to be in quite a bit of difficulty after his injury (why the heck he came out for the second half at all is a mystery). He was by far the brightest spark for us in a gloomy evening so let’s hope this is not serious.
If you’d asked me if I’d take a 4-1 defeat in the Carabao Cup and a league win over Chelsea on Boxing Day I’d have bitten your hand off. We’ve done the first part so, hey, we’re sure to win on Saturday. Aren’t we?