Miscellaneous Monday morning musings

Good morning AAers, it’s the dog days of summer, the 2014/15 season is just a distant memory, our second FA Cup is safely locked away in the Emirates trophy cabinet.

Chile have won the Copa Americas, the England Ladies secured an historic first ever win over Germany to take the bronze medal in the Women’s World Cup and there is just the final between The USA and Japan to look forward to. Although, by the time you read this the result will be in one way or another.

The back pages have been taken over by Le Tour, Henley and Wimbledon, no not the Crazy Gang, but the genteel game of Lawn Tennis.

Ah Tennis! The game where the players clothing must be predominately white. Audible obscenities, nothing so crude as swearing, are penalised by a one point deduction and smashing your racket over the head of a dilatory ball boy brings a gentle rebuke from the umpire. While out on court young ladies with immaculate make-up and the longest legs known to mankind scream with orgasmic ecstasy when delivering the ball and gentlemen capable of holding two balls in one hand while furiously swinging a racket grunt their way to yet another boring final set.

In football we are left only with the ludicrous transfer speculation of the media and the few tit bits of actual news. Such as Lukas Podolski’s transfer to Galatasary and Sepp Blatter’s refusal to attend his own disgraced organisation’s Women’s World Cup Final in Canada.

One oddity to come out of the Women’s England Germany game, was that Alexandra Popp, one of the German substitutes, came onto the pitch wearing a helmet. Now we all know that our own ‘keeper, Petr Cech, wears a head guard but heading the ball is a very rare event for a goalie but Popp is an outfield player and heading is an integral part of an outfield player’s game. Isn’t the wearing of a helmet gaining an unfair advantage?

Now I know that this hasn’t been a very Arsenaly, or even footbally, sort of post but there really isn’t too much of that sort of thing going on at the moment, so feel free to chat about anything you like.

You usually do any way.

Written by Norfolk Gooner

 

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130 Responses to Miscellaneous Monday morning musings

  1. mickydidit89 says:

    It’s a “thanks but” from me Norfolk 🙂

    Boring final set!!! A fifth and final set means it’s an epic and you’re entering the winner takes all climax. You could say the salvation of a dull 0-0 cup game would be the penalty shoot out

  2. X says:

    Well, tickle me larrikins, if it isn’t Worzel Gummidge’s best mate, Norfolkem, producing a humdinger of a Post, full of innuendo amid an eye catching array of delicate prose – then I have 6 toes toes too.

    There is nothing quite like a man of experience summing up all that is best about tennis; “young ladies with immaculate make-up and the longest legs known to mankind screaming with orgasmic ecstasy while holding two balls, and hitting another” – says everything you would want to know really.

    Loved it! 😀

  3. mickydidit89 says:

    Thinking of the Copa America ending, when do Arsenal players return to start pre-season? In other words, how long do the other lads get off before returning, and therefore how much longer should Alexis be rested?

  4. X says:

    Tickleydidit,

    Enough with the questions – most Arsenal players return to pre-season training today – the rest – no idea. 🙂

  5. mickydidit89 says:

    x
    And I liked the fact that Norfolk highlighted the okay’ness of smashing ball boys around the ears

  6. mickydidit89 says:

    Today!!!
    Bloody hell that’s a short break

  7. mickydidit89 says:

    How long do the Krauts get over Christmas for their winter break?

  8. mickydidit89 says:

    last question 🙂

  9. Rasp says:

    Morning all, apologies for my recent absence.

    Lovely musings from NG and a big thanks to GN5 for more of his Arsenal education in the previous post.

    Most of the first team players are returning to training this week. I don’t know if Alexis will be rested enough to start the season but I certainly don’t expect him to play in The Emirates Cup …. incidentally, what a farce that is. I find it a slight embarrassment – a round robin tournament where the teams don’t all play each other …. who ever heard of that?

  10. LB says:

    Can you actually imagine Sanchez not playing in a game if fit………..

    I can’t and I know he will be running down every lost cause or so it often seems to his team mates to try and recover possession, what a player.

    I am a bit surprised that Theo is still at the club….

  11. ‘afternoon all, X? is that you Redders? Most of us have ten toes actually, but you seem to have twelve. At least mine aren’t webbed. 😀

    Mind you that might be an advantage for Micky as he spends so much time in the water having fallen off his surfboard, a pair of gills might come in useful too.

    LB, I have it on good authority (a Tarot reading) that Theo will be with the club until the end of his career…..if we don’t flog him first that is. 😀

    Right I have an emergency in the garden. ten days ago I finally managed to trap a mole, since doing so there has been no activity under my lawn until this morning that is. While we were out shopping one of the little b******s crept back in and created another mole hill so I have to go and set the traps again. Incidentally I found a good way of disposing of the corpse, while my neighbours were distracted I flipped the little sod over their fence onto the barbie. apparently it went down well with the rest of the road kill they were cremating. 😀

  12. The Cockie Monster says:

    Nice one my 6 fingered friend !. 😀

    I like watching the TDF, but only when a British guy is in the lead, as for Wimbledon….too ponsey !…..although, when I do 5 a side football on Thursday nights there`s a really fit women in the most short tight skirt who puts me off my game !…….hope the wife`s not reading this as it will be a case of ………. “new balls please !”.

    I dont know what Rasp is on about , but we mean business in the Emirates Cup !.

  13. Rasp says:

    Hi Cockie, I’m sure the Emirates cup serves its purpose and keeps sponsors happy – but I have yet to see a game I would describe as scintillating. The best players are rested and the focus is on not getting injured, therefore the games are a bit insipid. That poster can big them up as much as you like, but for me the EC is an opportunity to get back to THOF early, but definitely not a spectacle of hard contested football.

  14. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    Cheers Norfolk

    I agree with Cornwall. Tennis is played by men who fear manual labour.

    I did go school with a bloke called Dawson who had webbed feet Norfolk. He was a strange geezer. He had some form of weird power. I once saw him bend a parker pen by just rubbing, and he could make objects disappear by sticking a towel over it and then staring

    In chemistry I would now and again catch him staring at me. Of course, like all off you, my natural reaction was to reach for my nether regions to make sure they were still there.

    I used to get into terrible trouble for that. The teacher Mr Burton going potty “Mancini, you disgusting imbecile, playing with your bunsen burner again. No women will ever strike chemistry with you, you horrible pervert”.

    He would march me toward the headmasters office and I would make it worse by pleading “But Sir, its not my fault, its Dawsons. He was staring at me and I was worried he was going to come over and start rubbing to make me bent”

  15. Rasp, You are right, the Emirates Cup is usually a pretty dull affair. Perhaps it could be livened a bit with a few new features.

    How about supplying the players with slices of pizza as they return to the pitch after half-time, they could throw them at the opposing manager. Or what about setting up a coconut shy behind one of the goals, any official guilty of a wrong decision could replace the coconuts for fifteen minutes and members of the crowd invited to hurl wet sponges at them.

    Or even a “Celebrity Stocks” where BT Sport and Sky commentators could be locked while anyone paying fifty pence could throw rotten fruit and dead moles at them. 😀

  16. Terry, I don’t know about the other AAers, but I have never, to my knowledge, been within reach of your nether regions and don’t expect ever to be in such a position. 😀

  17. mickydidit89 says:

    Message to fellow ponces and other sports fans 🙂

    Murray is playing a 6′ 11″ Croat with a howitzer 155 mph serve

  18. mickydidit89 says:

    I’ll let you know if we get to a boring 5th set 🙂

  19. The Cockie Monster says:

    Agree Rasper, but I had to use you as you were the first to mock the EC and I had to put up a photo of…..Robozil !. 😀

    Unless it`s a free for all Monday when normal people like Transplant, chas, Didit and myself can get in Wimbledon, then it`s the crowd that are rich poncey`s, not like us working class poncey`s !….they probably have to pay by American Express for a strawberry, whereas I can go to Lifton Strawberry Fields and eat as many as I like and come out with a empty punnet for nothing after having an argument with one of the many pervy scarecrows eying up my missus !.

  20. The Cockie Monster says:

    Obvious why the Greek debt has got out of control !………Transplant was part of a British Accountants Survey To Athens Researching Debt`s….BASTARD`s for short !… but got side tracked here instead and was heard at one point moaning…..”Grease will make it easier babe !”……………………………………………..
    ttp://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/07/06/swingfields-festival-2015-gloucestershire_n_7733928.html

  21. Micky it won’t get passed the third set, unless Murray goes walkabout. Even then he will win in four. Definitely no boring final set.

  22. Vintage Gooner says:

    Thanks for the post NG but to go completely off-piste I would like to ask a question that occurred to me from your heading.

    Normally most AA and indeed probably Arsenal fans generally would say their first ambition would be to win the Premier League. However this season if we win the FA Cup it will be unique firstly because no team has ever won three in a row and secondly as a delicious cherry on top it will enable Arsene Wenger to have enjoyed more FA Cup triumphs than any other manager in the history of the FA Cup which as we all know is the oldest football competition in the world.

    So AAers what would be your first priority?

  23. Vintage, a good one I trust? The Premiership for me. Yeah another FA Cup win would break all kinds of records and would enhance Wengers reputation but to win the league again is a must for the team, the fans and Le Professeur.

  24. Eddie says:

    Thank you NG, anything is better than a meaningful silence 🙂

    You are right thought – helmet wearing Germans are thing of the past and should not be allowed anywhere in public places let alone a football pitch

  25. Eddie says:

    Where is Terry? I need him to explain to me why the Greeks are celebrating?

  26. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    Hi Eddie

    Greeks always celebrate escape from slavery. In fact, in our 4000 year history we seem to be slaves every week, so throw in loads of Ouzo and breakable plates, its party time

    However, when the party ends we have a terrible hangover. This current crisis can be explained by our exploits during the 2nd world war.

    We said Oxi (No) to Mussolini, so when he invaded we battered the Italians and nicked there vine yards. This led to a massive party were we drank Italian wine, danced to the dulcet tunes of Nana Mouskiri, and for one day only, decided to be kind to Donkies and Albanians.

    This pissed of Adolph, so the man with the drooping testicle sent in the German army. After a tough fight, resulting in the death of many Goats and Chickens, we were taken over by the SS.

    Fighting for our freedom, we resisted by maiming our Kraut friends by playing Demis Rousous music very loudly, and killing the odd jack boot wanker by use of our teeth only. This resulted in the death of many innocent villagers at the hands of the SS and the denial of free dental care.

    Once the Germans left, we had another massive party, though every one had a tooth ache, it was great. Unfortunately we were now free so with no one else to blame we decided to have a horrendous civil war, were many Greeks, and sadly once again, poultry, snuffed it.

    After the in fighting we were all skint. The only thing that kept us going was the spectacle of Greco/Roman wrestling and the magnificence of Telly Savalas acting skills. And of course consecutive Juntas who terrorised the population with threats of playing Turkish music and the banning of the Skewer..

    A Greek tragedy.

  27. The Cockie Monster says:

    Who cares, E va va vonne ?……………….If I didn`t have any money and lived in a beautiful place in the sun with golden beaches like Greece would I give a fcuk about the economy ?……………………hold on a sec` !………..that`s me, but in Cornwall !……. and I dont give a fcuk !……………….and I support The Arse` as well !……..who needs money ?……what a life !. hahahaha

  28. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    hahaha, quite right Cornwall. Thrown in a bit of slavery and you will have it all. hahaha

  29. The Cockie Monster says:

    Hey Stretch !……………..I was just looking on Arsenal Newsnow and it had a survey on there which proves how people like yourself turn negatives into positives !………the survey said that 52% of us would refuse to kiss someone with “fag breath” !….whilst 27% were turned off by the smell of Garlic and 12% were put off by bad kissing !’………………you have cornered the market of women with no sense of smell by making love to them whilst still smoking and with a garlic smothered baguette sex toy!. hahaha

  30. Eddie says:

    Terry – Are you suggesting that the Greeks felt enslaved by Europe?

    Cockie – you will start caring when a chunk of your tax will go to feed starving greeks

  31. Utter Tool says:

    Cheers, NG, great summary.
    Feck all going on.
    Lovely to have a few peaceful weeks in the summer, isn’t it?

  32. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    hahaha, the things you read crack me up Cornwall. No one likes bad breath mate. I once made love to a bird whos breath had a whiff of Rod Hulls emu, so had to use my emergency gas mask.

  33. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    Eddie, all countries in the euro will end up as slaves of the Germans.

  34. The Cockie Monster says:

    E va va vonne………………honestly !……….I dont earn enough to pay tax !…….in fact, the last letter I received from the tax peoples was giving me back some money !. 😀

  35. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    You would make a good Greek Cornwall. hahaha

  36. The Cockie Monster says:

    I suppose it could have been worse and smelled of Rod Hulls Rod !……..which coincidentally was used to work Rods Emu !. hahaha

  37. The Cockie Monster says:

    My favorite peoples, Stretch !…..Paddy the Greek and my Greek sister in law taught me everything !……chuck in some Jason and the Argonaults and my name being Greek for ….” The Bearer of Christ” and I`m half way there Bruv !. hahaha

  38. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    hahaha. Apparently Hull was a really depressed Geezer Cornwall

    I read somewere that he was jealous that Emu was getting all the attention and fell out with him and was also pissed off with Phil Browns management. Shame, it ruined both there careers. Emu ended up working in tescos and Hull fell of his roof and snuffed it.

  39. The Cockie Monster says:

    Talking of Greeks and Germans……my son went for a holiday on Rhodes a few weeks ago and had a great time !……..apart from breaking some Borussia Dortmund supporters leg playing football !………………….I think the insurance payout played major part in the debt crisis !….blame my son !…I do !. hahaha

  40. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    Lovely place Rhodes. Not as nice as Crete, but still lovely

    Cornwall, if you ever get the chance, take the Mrs to Crete for a well deserved break. How is the good lady mate?

  41. The Cockie Monster says:

    Hahaha ……….Bloody rumours !……I read somewhere that Emu`s long neck was Rod`s Rod !……..no wonder he was always trying to strangle Emu in front of women !.

  42. The Cockie Monster says:

    Touch wood….she`s OK and she`d be better off resting at home whilst I took trip to Crete with the fit looking tennis player opposite our Thursdays 5 a side footie !. hahaha

  43. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    hahaha, nice.

    Right, ime off to draw out my 60 Euros.

  44. Never mind about Rod Hull and Emu, Terry and Cockie are the finest and funniest double act on the web.

    Sign em up for the next Royal Variety Performance I say. 😀

  45. Right I’m off down The Feathers for a quiz and a pint or two.

    Just chat among yourselves for a while.

    Toodle-pip.

  46. Gööner In Exile says:

    So what is it 4 weeks til kick off, 5 weeks til league starts.

    That’s kind of crazy really, feels like summer is just getting going!

    Are we worried about Alexis? Not really given he didn’t seem to suffer any after affects from last seasons World Cup, the guy is a bit of a machine.

    As for Emirates Cup, I enjoy it I like seeing some of the youngsters. Are we not going on any money making tours this season?

  47. How’s the Summer? If Wimbledon is any indication, it looks like a ripper 🙂 By August I will be thawed out down here enough & ready for hopefully a realistic shot at the Title by The Arsenal.

    Eddie

    My Greek mate here has explained the situation. he told me they have told the Germans & French to go & get f%$k&d, of which I replied “Do the Greeks think they are English” 🙂

    COYRRR

  48. Utter Tool says:

  49. Utter Tool says:

  50. mickydidit89 says:

    Loved the Transplant/Cockie “Understing The Greek Situation”. More needed to help Eddie get a grip on the facts

    Morning Chas
    While Arsene is right to call the fans morons, there is definitely less noise this summer than usual. Generally people appear more okay and less fussed if we don’t sign more
    Not me obviously

  51. chas says:

    Wenger would never call the fans ‘morons’

  52. mickydidit89 says:

    I have rights you know, and that includes believing stuff you post 🙂

    I am about to become a little jealous of my cricket loving chums as they have the ashes and each match takes up five days. Blink, and it’s West Ham at home

  53. mickydidit89 says:

    Bloody hell, just seen that The Emirates Cup is July 25
    That’s…like….in a minute

  54. chas says:

    The latest twitter outrage is that Arteta has been given a 1 year extension!!!

  55. Eddie says:

    Reporting on duty.
    Since Poland joined EU it has undergone such transition that Warsaw is barely recognizable. Independence from Russia was a equally important, but I’m surprise each day how the country is booming. EU funds little blue signs show objects build with Germany money. I am all for this type of slavery

  56. Eddie says:

    Chas – did they think it should have been 2?

  57. mickydidit89 says:

    Chas
    Being serious for a moment.
    Like your thoughts as you are more media savvy.
    The only other blog sites I know are Le Grove and Arseblog. I always think of Twitter and LeGrove in the same vein. Kind of Red Top sensationalist “me generation”, whereas with Arseblog, people remain pretty civilized even through the bad times. For most, football and Arsenal are not the most important things in life, but I suspect the likes of LeG and Twitter attracts the sort for whom they are.

  58. mickydidit89 says:

    Here on AA for example, I reckon most of us blog when we have our computers on for work, and simply enjoy a little banter to lighten the day. Of course we all have Arsenal DNA and that is the common thread

  59. Eddie says:

    Sorry about worse than usual English, I’m in the Polish mode 🙂

  60. mickydidit89 says:

    Also, I have two 14 yr old children, and while the boy one is not interested in comms. (doesn’t even have a phone) they both have internet access. More so with my Daughter who has SnapChat, Apple I talk, in fact everything, we as parents spend ages at least trying to help them to understand the difference between fantasy and reality, as the two can easily be confused through the haze of media bullshit

    Naturally I thrive in the murky fog of transfer fantasy 🙂

  61. mickydidit89 says:

    Morning Eddie

  62. Eddie says:

    Hiya 🙂
    Barca signed a new midfielder for 24m euros (should wait a bit longer). Will they sell, whom?

  63. Gööner In Exile says:

    And after I asked about money spinning tours I have seen on Arsenal.com that we are off to Singapore to play in a competition with Everton, a Singapore Select XI and bloody Stoke!!! Who decided that one in our commercial/fixture arrangements? If you can help it two games against Stoke per season is quite enough.

  64. First Sampan says:

    Everton will beat Stoke, and Arsenal will beat Singapore Select XI, and Arsenal will play Everton in the finall…. so will not meet Stoke at all……………..

  65. MickyDidIt89 says:

    That learned you Exile ROLF

    Thanks for info First

  66. mickydidit89 says:

    Isn’t it some weird team like Leicester who have unusually large shirt sales in Singapore?

  67. Gööner In Exile says:

    Hmmm kits..

    New away kit to be released July 14th, and new cup kit available in August. I had rather hoped that despite the amendment to the fans charter when we signed the new deal with Puma that when only a new home kit was announced early on in the summer that the club may stick to past policies of only releasing one new kit per season in line with the fans charter previous wording.

    Unfortunately it seems that was too much to ask and I guess goes some way to understanding why Puma paid so much for the rights.

    Here’s a question though, do they think they will sell more or less kits?

    I think back to when I was a kid I may have asked for the kit for my birthday or Christmas, up until the end of the Nike deal that would have probably meant having a kit (if choosing the right one for at least a full season, now any children with birthdays in the latter half of the season know that their kit will be out of date come the next July/August.

    Changing kit every season will probably mean less fans updating kits regularly as if the shirt you buy is out of date in a season may as well wear an already out of date shirt?

    To be honest I buy the kits I really like, lay one I bought was the Forward Arsenal one that Nike did for the 125th year.

  68. mickydidit89 says:

    No I didn’t mean XXL shirts 😦

  69. mickydidit89 says:

    Exile
    I guess we can only assume Puma have done the numbers. Don’t know.

  70. ‘morning all, Very small paragraph in this morning’s Telegraph……”Alexis Sanchez will miss the first three weeks of Arsenal’s new season after helping Chile win the Copa America last weekend”.

  71. The Cockie Monster says:

    Devon Didit……………..Arsenal are not the most important thing in life !!!…….am I missing something else in the outside world ?…..are there other things going on I should know about ?…..why haven`t we signed a £60M striker yet ?.

    Fcuk, NG !……………If Alexis misses first 3 weeks we are doomed !.

  72. How long does a football shirt last? If you wash it after each wearing, how many matches can you get out of it before it falls apart?

  73. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    Eddie, good luck to the Poles.

    The main problem with us Greeks is we are a bunch of Ponces. No one wants to do manual labour for f*ucks sake. Apparently per population the Greeks have the most educated percentage in Europe

    I blame the parents. My dream as a kid was to be a scaffolder, but no, my dear old mum (God bless her soul) was “No Terry, youer be be a Doctor and make peoples healings” I was to thick for that and ended up a lowly Accountant.

    My old man was disappointed I didn’t win the Noble Prize for Literature

    The last time I was in Greece I rang a plumber to come round to fix my pipes and a bloody Doctor turns up asking to take my trousers off and show him were I was leaking.

    If you want a builder forget it. The last guy I got turned out to be a Physics Professor. When he screwed up and the wall of my extension collapsed he said “Doona aworry Terry, ina nother dimension the wall is strong asa Hercules”. I was so angry, I beat him up faster than the speed of light.

    i think we can win the league with the squad we have. I expect big things from our younger players next season. The likes of Wilshere,Chamberlin, Bellerin etc are very close to becoming world class players. Exciting times.

    The Ghosts of the Thirties are Stirring.

  74. Eddie says:

    Ha ha ha – i translated your comment to my old she – devil and now she needs a Greek plumber 😆

    Why is Alex to miss 3 weeks? Is he Greek?

  75. The Cockie Monster says:

    Alexis has 3 weeks off to go and renovate Greece due to the dodgy physic`s builders !…………Alexis belongs to the FMB ( Federation of Master Builders ), after scoring the winning penalty to win the Copa America for Chile he popped straight around to build a conservatory on the back of Arsene`s house !. He`s a fcuking workaholic, not seen someone that excitedly lively since Transplant was let loose in a Wig Superstore and had a fisticuffs with Silent Stan over the golden fleece of wigs !.

    I`ve become a grandad again !……….. my son bought a black Labrador puppy !…….a few injections and I`ll cradle it around Tesco`s in a few weeks time…..I`m a babe magnate and it gives women an excuse to fondle me in public !. hahaha

  76. Eddie says:

    Congrats cockie!! I’d love a black grandchild, honestly. I have a sponsored ‘daughter’ in Africa, Nazira, she is stunning

  77. GunnerN5 says:

    Eddie,

    It makes me extremely happy to hear that you are the kind enough to sponsor a child in need – well done you deserve a lot of credit.

  78. Cockie, don’t forget the dog needs injections as well as you. 😀

  79. RC78 says:

    Weird news whereby AW proposed 60 Mln EUR for Higuain and Napoli rejected :(…Anyways, we do not need that type of player…

  80. RC78 says:

    So who will join us…? I love transfer windows but at the same time, they are a bit frustrating – I wanna know early on who will be on my teams (AFC, PSg)

  81. Eddie says:

    NG5 – i am not poor and have noone to leave my money to. I love animals and Micky but the thought of making a poor orphan filthy rich (in her country) makes me happy 🙂

  82. GunnerN5 says:

    Well done Eddie, regardless of the amount of money you have it still takes a special person to reach out to those in need. Nazira is a very fortunate young lady – I would really like to see her picture.

    Most people in your position would not dream of doing the same thing.

  83. The Cockie Monster says:

    Wow, what a woman Eddie is, unlike me who is black ( I turn back to white when the summer has ended ), homeless and with a hungry puppy to feed !…….Cornwall is the new Africa !………….give generously and I`ll let you tickle my tummy at the Arsenal Tavern after Norfolk has paid for my injections !.

  84. X says:

    Amused to read Norfolk’s question about how long a footie shirt lasts, if it is washed after every use.

    You should know, NG, I suspect you have had yours since 1950 and never washed it, and it is still as good as ever – ‘course it reeks like Terry’s codpiece – actually it might be Terry’s codpiece! 🙂

  85. Eddie, two questions 1) How rich are you? 2) Would you like to adopt me? I’m an orphan too. 😀

    Redders, I have two one is a fake that I bought in a market in Turkey. It wasn’t until I got it home that I realised that written on the back was “Berkgamp”.

    The other was a gift from my sons, a genuine article that I have sworn not to wear until we win the Premiership.

    Exactly how do you know what Terry’s codpiece smells like?

  86. X says:

    Oh, you know, The Cocky Monster told me that anyone standing two hundred yards downwind of Sir Terry could not fail to notice – and the pack of dogs chasing him were a bit of a give-away. 🙂

    And you are a legend along the North Norfolk coastal paths – so two and two clearly make five in those circumstances. 🙂

  87. fatgingergooner says:

    So Barcelona’s new toy has to stay in its box until January? I wonder if they would let us borrow him until then if we promise not to break him!?

    Play Turan in every single match until January and rotate with a different attacking player each game, thus come January, all our best players will be well rested and raring to go!

    Turan might end up like Vermaelen for a bit but that’s Barca’s problem!

    This management stuff is easy.

  88. Gööner In Exile says:

    Didn’t seem to do Barca much harm waiting for Suarez to play last season.

    Who do they have that we can buy in January…..any more Alexis types waiting to become footballing gods?

  89. Utter Tool says:

  90. Utter Tool says:

    I wondered why I was happy most of the time…..

  91. Utter Tool says:

  92. LB says:

    Every now and then Ken was able to surprise us. If JFK had made that speech it would be played forever.

    Free bus fares for children under 16, brilliant in its simplicity.

    If only he hadn’t acted so bitterly envious of anyone who had become successful of which there are many in this great city of ours.

    The politics of envy Ken was your downfall and it was that mindset which paved the way for Boris.

  93. Eddie says:

    NG5 – here is a photo of ‘my’ Nazira. I am pleased she looks like a girl with character 🙂

  94. Eddie says:

    LB – picture of bike friendly Warsaw for you

  95. Eddie says:

    who is that training with Hector?

  96. GunnerN5 says:

    Eddie,

    Nazira is indeed a good looking young lady and she also appears to be a very proud young lady.

    How long have you been her sponsor?

  97. Eddie says:

    GN5 🙂 Thank you, I think she is stunning. I cannot disclose facts about her life, but all I can say is that it is one of the most horrific stories I’ve heard, ever.

    Anyway, what I normally do is copy football gossip columns, paste to word and search for ‘Arsenal’. For several days now there is not one mention of our Club!!! Fantastic work from the management – this day and age is extremely difficult to keep big transfers a secret and they are managing it with ease. Congrats!

    ….or has our transfer window closed now? Nay, they wouldn’t do it to DidIt

  98. GunnerN5 says:

    Eddie,

    I rarely read the transfer gossip as 99.5% is just idle media BS to draw in more readers. I don’t get too fussed about the speculation I simply log into the Arsenal site for information as it’s the only site where the information is 100% accurate.

    I admire the way in which AW goes about his business as he shows respect to all who are involved in the transfer process including his own players.

    You should be proud of Nazira and she must realize that she is a fortunate young lady to have you as a sponsor.

  99. Eddie says:

    GN5 – I agree with you about gossip, BUT I have acute withdrawal symptoms. Footy is such a big part of my otherwise boring life, that take it away and I am climbing walls.

    Sshhhh – don’t tell Nazira Eddie is a complete fruitcake 🙂

  100. GunnerN5 says:

    Eddie,

    I’m totally steeped in football but I usually find ways to beat the withdrawal symptoms. This off season has been easier than most as we have had the Ladies World Cup and the COPA America to watch and now there’s 10 hours a day of Wimbledon.

    It would not surprise me if AW does not add any more players to our squad because he will only buy if he sees the players to be an improvement. We are not like Spurs or Liverpool who buy their players on the wholesale market simply to fill positions and placate their supporters..

  101. Eddie says:

    Utter @5:45 – it was Hemingway who said that before committing suicide. I am very intelligent 🙂

  102. Peaches/Rasp, possible post e mailed to arsenalnuts.

  103. Utter Tool says:

  104. Utter Tool says:

  105. Rasp says:

    Thanks NG, gratefully received 🙂

  106. Utter Tool says:

  107. Utter Tool says:

  108. LB says:

    The little boy inside him made the decision, lol

    Robin, Robin, Robin, we don’t mind if you leave our club, many have done so in the past, but what we do mind is that you take the piss out of it on your way out.

    That, Robin, we will never forgive you for……………….ever…………….

  109. Eddie says:

    yada yada yada podolski, show us an Arsenal tattoo on your arm

  110. chas says:

    Show us yours.

  111. Utter Tool says:

  112. mickydidit89 says:

    “Show us our Arsenal Tattoo”

    Yeah, like that makes a difference. Think of all the inked out Sharons up and down the land 🙂

    Oh yes, and morning

  113. mickydidit89 says:

    Chas
    Just thinking. No way Eddie has an Arsenal tatt. If anything it would be eight inch BOLD letters on her back “FUCK OF SPURS”
    Now, THAT would be our Eddie 🙂

  114. The Cockie Monster says:

    More likely that Eddie has “FUCK OF SPURS” on her knuckledusters and Oh to be a Gooner on her Doc Mart laces !.

  115. Eddie says:

    chas – my tattoo is not on my arm 🙂

  116. mickydidit89 says:

    Cockie

    Two days of sun down our end. Quick, into the shade, summer will return on saturday

  117. Eddie says:

    plus I don’t have another club tattooed, podolski does

  118. Eddie says:

    Question – if Van Traitor didn’t leave us for the enemy, what would we do with him now?

    I remember some AAers saying it was good business, as keeping a 29 year old injury prone striker on a huge salary would have been a mistake. So perhaps after all it wasn’t that bad? No, it was. Going to ManU was that bad

  119. mickydidit89 says:

    Eddie
    As LB rightly said, it was the manner of his exit.
    Talking oh knobs, that Sterling and his agent come across as a right pair

  120. Eddie says:

    gosh that Sterling situation is a disgrace. Pool should not sell him, sit the front bottom on the bench and make him stew. The rest of EPL should chip in to help Pool financing the punishment,

  121. Rasp says:

    I think Brendan Rogers is a knob. That silly ‘I’ve written three names in an envelope’ trick he pulled is more like David Brent than SAF.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2216654/Brendan-Rodgers-envelope-trick-Liverpool-boss-picks-players-let-team-down.html

    As soon as he got some acclaim he had a Simon Cowell tooth job and ditched his wife for a younger model. His permanent tan is suspicious as is the mascara like effect around his eyes 🙂 The corollary of this is that he is vain and has a massive ego – which doesn’t make for a good manager.

  122. Rasp says:

    He’s definitely had the Shane Warne treatment …. I blame his new GF 😆

  123. Rasp says:

    Before ……

  124. mickydidit89 says:

    Oooo Yuk
    Thanks for nothing Rasp 🙂

  125. TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says:

    Quite right Rasp

    I have shiny new teeth, hair transplant, fake tan, and the staff live in fear of the envelope but have never, never, never, claimed Liverpool are a bigger club than Arsenal.

    The mans a Cretin

  126. Morning all

    We have an amazingly well researched article from GunnerN5 coming up.

    ……………………New Post everyone …………………

  127. The Cockie Monster says:

    So basically !, if Brenda loses his job he will be a shoe in as Transplants next assistant !. It would end up like a Bounds Green High Noon !………..both jockeying for best position to get the sun reflecting off their teeth into each others eyes !…….I can see Transplant (the master of deception) feigning a fit and as Brenda comes in for the kill, Transplant produces some mustard spray ingeniously hidden under his rug to stun Brenda into sub misssion and then testicle torture Brenda with his Arsenal Velcro rosette !.

    Went to a speed awareness course yesterday !……they laughed at my reason for being caught doing 63 MPH in a 60 MPH area ( My van should have been doing 50MPH…..60mph for a car )…and this is the truth !……I saw the Police camera van on the opposite side of the road and started to flash the on coming cars to slow down and forgetting to slow down myself !.

    Right out to buy some footballs for tonight`s 5 a side !.

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