Bale To Arsenal?

There was an amusing incident after Real Madrid’s loss to Barcelona in Sunday’s “El Classico.”

As he was driving away from the stadium after the match, Gareth Bale was shocked to find his car set upon by some angry Madrid supporters.

Now, I have been to Whipsnade Safari Park, I have been to Longleat, I have been to Woburn Abbey, but at none of these venues have I ever seen a situation where the monkey is inside the car and the people are on the outside ripping off the windscreen wipers.

This was just the latest in a string of unfortunate moments for Bale, whose Spanish adventure is turning sourer by the day.

The world’s most expensive player had an OK first season in Madrid but in his second he hasn’t really progressed and seems to be going backwards.

ogbIn Gareth’s defence, it can’t be easy playing alongside the walking ego that is Cristiano Ronaldo. Particularly when the preening ladyboy of international soccer is happy to parade his dislike of Bale very publicly (last week he celebrated a Bale goal by looking like Wayne Rooney had just crapped in his best pair of Nikes).

So now, inevitably, there is much talk of a return to the Premier League for the Welsh wizard, presumably with a price tag considerably lower than the one when he left.

Manchester United are said to be in pole position to repatriate him, but other clubs are also no doubt paying attention. Which brings me to this question: would you like Arsenal to sign Bale?

I know, I know. He used to hang out at that cesspit of subnormality that is known as White Hart Lane (where he was awarded the honorary title of Primate of All Tottenham). But surely even the most churlish of Arsenal supporters would have to admit that – by his final season there – he had turned into a devastatingly effective footballer.

And just think of the anguish it would cause in N17 if their former hero returned to wear the red and white of a real club. It would be Sol Campbell all over again (and would probably lead to another riot season in the swamplands).

So, what do you think? Yes or no? And if we signed him, who would make way: Welbeck? Alexis? Walcott?

Over to you.

Rocky Lives

65 Responses to Bale To Arsenal?

  1. steven unwin says:

    worry about where he plays when he is here

  2. henrychan says:

    No.. Do you think Fans will agree for his price..??
    Wenger certainly won’t.. hehehehe..

  3. double98 says:

    He’d have to compete with gibbs as monreal’s understudy – so 5 million and 30k per week

  4. RC78 says:

    I like Bale but I would not want him in our squad. He is a top quality player but I do not think that he would bring us what we need…Hence – a no go for me..

    Up front – we need a real winger (Bale is now a forward, he does not stick to the line anymore…).
    Middle – we need steel
    Back – we need strength and tactical displine

    Bring me a Meertens, Bender and a Garay and life is good 🙂

  5. ‘morning all, ah a Rocky post, just what’s needed to brighten up a dull March morning.

    I’ve voted yes to the Bale question, he could be just what we’ve been looking for, Reyes, Gervinho, Podolski and a few others didn’t quite cut the mustard.

    Realistically though, the transfer fee and wage package will be astronomical so it’s certainly a non-runner. What about Angel di Maria instead?

  6. Naz says:

    ‘Now, I have been to Whipsnade Safari Park, I have been to Longleat, I have been to Woburn Abbey, but at none of these venues have I ever seen a situation where the monkey is inside the car and the people are on the outside ripping off the windscreen wipers.’

    Quote of the year my friend!!!

  7. RA says:

    A very welcome return of a Rocky special and as amusing as ever. 🙂

    I have voted ‘yes’ as to me he is a superb footballer – and just to put a gloss on it, he was a self-confessed Gooner as a kid. 🙂

    What a terrific ODI between the Kiwis and SA.

    Loved it.

  8. henrychan says:

    I want Hakan for Wilshere and Rosicky
    Carvalho/Kodogbia and Schenederlin for Flamini, Diaby and Arteta and Podolski
    Bring 3 and sell 6.. heheheehe

  9. But RA, according to Rocky’s Rules it’s only half time surely! 😀

  10. Big Raddy says:

    Wonderful. A RL post and as amusing as ever.

    I voted No. Prior to the arrival of Alexis I hankered after a player with the energy Bale brings to the team but now?

    Bale replaced Ozil at Real, would we be stupid enough to make the same mistake? I hope not.

    Furthermore, Bale is likely to want to play on the right side as an attacking MF – we have Ox and Gnabry. Would I swap Ox for Monkeyboy – no way.

    But as a swap for Theo? Perhaps

  11. Arthur says:

    I voted no. It is easy to stop Bale by denying him the space to run into. He has no other skill.

  12. Rasp says:

    Excellent Rocky 🙂 and a question that may well be asked with some sincerity come the summer.

    I voted yes for the following reasons

    He’s an excellent, potentially top world class player
    He’s quick
    He knows where the goal is
    He can take a free kick
    He seems a decent fella despite his poor judgement earlier in his career
    Most importantly, it would really get up the noses of the shadow dwellers

  13. Dick Swiveller says:

    Hats off, that was one of the funniest blogs I’ve read for a while, still giggling like a schoolgirl at the sight of Madridistas jumping on Bale’s car.

    It’s undeniable that Bale would be useful, if he cost us under 40m and he wouldn’t ask too much in wages (i.e. on a par with Ozil and Sanchez), I’d welcome it. Then again, if Cavani is available or we can genuinely look into getting Reus/Pogba or I seem to remember hering rumours that Pedro is surplus at Barca, rather them than Bale.

  14. RA says:

    Of course, no matter how we vote, it will never happen.

    There are too many clubs out there with money to burn, and can recognise a very good player when they see one, so we will never get a look in.

    Imagine if AW had decided to splash out the extra £5m when he bought Theo, or bought Bale instead of Theo, we would either have had £90m in cash or someone who could have made the difference between winning the EPL, or not.

  15. RA says:

    Hi Norfolk, 🙂

    Re. your 10:29, I never take any notice of Rocky at the best of times, because he is barmy — but I do not know what you are referring to, so you, of corse, are barmy too!

  16. GoonerB says:

    Thanks Rocky, I voted yes. I have always rated Bale even when he was going through that weird period at Totnumb where he wasn’t on a winning side for ages. A Spud mate of mine wanted rid of him then and I pointed out that he had great power and pace, good technique and an excellent right foot and that I would have swapped him for adebarndoor (who had started to play up) right then. he accepted the deal, shame that Levy and Wenger didn’t.

    I am sure somewhere i read he is a gooner from a youngster but I might have this wrong. Any problems he is having at madrid are likely to do with the general way things are done at Madrid and also as you say that prancing peacock Ronaldo disliking him. He was probably doomed from the start under these circumstances and won’t be the first top player to find Madrid didn’t work out for them but still to have a great career elsewhere. I actually think he could be one of our missing links but will we get him ? I don’t think so.

  17. Bale may well have been a Gooner from childhood, in fact he could have red and white striped blood, he could have cannons tatooed all over his body but it won’t make one iota of a diiference, money will talk and he’ll be off to Paris St. Germain….if he leaves Real.

    That’s my barmy view 😀 others may disagree, or not understand the comment….now about the off-side rule

  18. bamboozle says:

    Mertesacker said their mentality wasn’t right when facing Monaco in the first leg.Therefore the manager has to take the blame for sending his players out with the wrong mentality.

  19. chas says:

    Superb, Rocky, ta.
    Everything that’s good in a football post.

    I voted ‘no’.
    We can’t afford him.
    I don’t think he’d fit in.
    I can’t stand alice bands.
    GoonerB thinks he’s the missing link. 🙂

  20. That’s a very sincere conclusion you have come to bamboozle, obviously you have spent a long time thinking about it, five weeks in fact, such dedication will surely earn it’s own reward, in time of course. 😀

  21. RC78 says:

    The season is soon coming to an end and we have to achieve our two remaining objetives – win the Cup and finish top 3. Anything less than that would be failure. I think we can do it so with that in mind, and according to you, which players shall we sell (let go) and how many players should we bring and who? Also – from the youngsters, who do we keep in our A-squad?

  22. RC78, your comment could be the inspiration for a very interesting post, there are plenty of opportunities for it to appear during the “interlull”, why don’t you write it?

    It could include your pick of those to go as well as those to come in.

    I commend the idea to the house. 😀

  23. chas says:

    There’s still 2 months left of the season.

  24. GoonerB says:

    Chas, It takes a missing link to recognise a missing link.

    On another note I always felt you would look rather dapper in an Alice band. You will have to indulge me next time I have the pleasure of your company pre-match at the FFB.

    RA sorry I didn’t have time to read the earlier comments but just having scanned through them I notice you preempted me in mentioning Bale as a possible childhood gooner. Obviously I don’t want to just repeat what you are saying.

    One more original point I would like to make about us likely not getting Bale is this :

    Of course, no matter how we vote, it will never happen.

    There are too many clubs out there with money to burn, and can recognise a very good player when they see one, so we will never get a look in.

    Imagine if AW had decided to splash out the extra £5m when he bought Theo, or bought Bale instead of Theo, we would either have had £90m in cash or someone who could have made the difference between winning the EPL, or not.


  25. Rasp says:

    Much as I am a fan of Theo, Bale would be an upgrade on him I think, so if Theo is going, Bale would be an ideal replacement – but not for £60+m and £200k a week.

    Still the question asked was should Arsenal sign Bale, so my ‘yes’ still stands as long as the price is sensible (which it won’t be) 🙂

  26. GoonerB says:

    Utd will get him. They will do a Bale / De Gea deal then cough up £20m or so to Chavs for Cech to replace De Gea. That would be good business on their part. We have nothing that Madrid want or need.

  27. RockyLives says:

    “I can’t stand alice bands” ROLF

    Thanks for the comments everyone.

    I feel a teensy bit bad being so mean to Bale. He’s a good footballer and seems a decent enough sort.

    He can’t help it that he has Dian Fossey as a Godmother.

  28. RA says:

    Well there you have it GooonerB A Loon. 🙂

    I was cogitating quietly to myself thinking there has to be something I am missing [damn I have myself a hostage to fortune there] 🙂 but it is now obvious – YOU are the third member of the Barmy Brigade, the third mustyketeer.

    You, Rock-Me Hard and Norfolk-The-Lot-of-You. Desperados if ever there was!! 🙂

  29. Rasp says:

    Hi Rocky, some classic lines in the post – nothing to feel bad about 😆

    Guess who’s head is hiding beneath Bale’s?

  30. RA says:

    Umm, that is a very interesting comment regarding Bale’s Godmother — I am now waiting for the punchline Rocket, Dian Fossey died about 5 to 10 years before he was born, I think.

    Damn – I might have ruined a simian joke — actually Terry thinks Bale looks quite fetching in an Alice band, and Bale always sends him a ‘heart’ gesture when he scores. And does the same thing when he gets a goal! 🙂

  31. RA says:

    I have no idea whose head is under Bale’s, but the body under his head has to be Chambers’s.

  32. Rasp says:

    Bale would probably rather play under Simeone.

  33. Rasp says:

    No RA not Chambers

  34. RockyLives says:


  35. Rasp says:

    Nope, not Alexis either

  36. RockyLives says:

    You’re right about Dian’s dates Redders.

    That was a bit of a Howler.

  37. Rasp says:

    Apparently he takes after his father – he’s a chimp off the old block

  38. Big Raddy says:

    Rasp 😀

    Stop monkeying around.

  39. Rasp says:

    His psychiatrist says he has multiple split personalities … one who can see no evil, one who can hear no evil and one who can speak no evil

  40. RockyLives says:

    OK, I reckon it’s the BFG

  41. RA says:

    It’s like a tea party on here.

    There was a series of incidents in Madrid in December last that may explain the fans’ dislike of Bale the Gooner.

    Bale and his mate went into a bar, and while his mate ordered a nice cold draft beer, Bale jumped up onto the bar and ate a very old shrivelled olive that was sitting there.

    The bartender said, “Did you see what your mate did? He ate that disgusting olive!”

    The mate said, “Oh, he does stuff like that all the time. Just ignore it.”
    He finished his beer and he and Bale left.

    A couple of days later, they turned up at the bar again and and the mate ordered ordered a beer. Bale jumped onto the pool table and swallows the cue ball.

    “Oi” The bartender said, “Did you see what your mate just did? He swallowed the cue ball!”

    Bale’s mate said, “Oh, he does stuff like that all the time. Just ignore it.”

    The mate finished his beer and they left.

    A week later, they turned up again, Bale’s mate sat down and ordered his beer, but Bale jumped up onto the bar, picked up a cherry, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it.

    The bartender said, “That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. Your mate just stuck that cherry up his butt and ate it.”

    “Yeah” said the mate, “Ever since the cue ball incident, he likes to measure everything first.”

    Olé. 🙂

  42. RA says:

    Bye the by, GoonerB, re your 1:36 – did I ever tell you what a wise and eloquent blogger you are — it is almost as if you read my……mind! 😀

  43. chas says:

    It’s obviously Welbeck under the chimp’s heid.

  44. RA says:


  45. GunnerN5 says:

    Rocky I’ll bail out on Bale.

    Just to continue to stir the pot ———–

    The Premier League will have to wait at least three seasons before video technology can be possibly be introduced.

    It is the Dutch FA (KNVB) who are leading the way in trials of a system to aid referees.

    However, their bid to introduce the technology in cup matches from next season was rejected by the International Football Association Board (IFAB) last month.

    Referees chief Mike Riley has called for the arrival of video technology into the Premier League

    Given the increasing number of controversies in the Premier League, referees’ chief Mike Riley has called for its arrival in the English top-flight. But the IFAB have delayed any decision for 12 months at least, meaning the earliest we could see video assistance for referees will be the 2017/18 season.

    The Dutch are certainly confident their process could work. It involves a fifth official located in a video room with access to instant replays.

    During Eredivisie games they have been trialling how long it would take that official to make a correct judgment on key incidents only, such as red cards, penalties and fouls before goals.

    They have found that an average of two to three crucial decisions per game can each be resolved within five to 20 seconds, with the official having a direct audio link to the referee.

    Should the IFAB give the go-ahead for trials of this system – or another one – in competitive matches during the 2016/17 campaign, they would then want to see it used in a FIFA age-grade tournament before giving permission for video technology to be implemented in the Premier League and elsewhere around the world.

    With Goal-line technology in use, and calls for videos to help with penalties and red cards too have risen too

    Meanwhile, the notion of a ‘challenge system’ for managers has been rejected for fear of it being used for tactical gain.

    FA chairman Greg Dyke will offer his full backing to any attempts to expand the use of video technology and will even volunteer English football to operate trials.

    ‘In 20 years we’ll look back and say: “Wasn’t it quaint that we didn’t use video technology?”’ said Dyke. ‘When we discussed it at IFAB, even the ones who were most against it accept it’s going to happen.

    ‘If we’re going to do it sometime, why don’t we do it now? We are 100 per cent behind it. I suspect we would like to do an experiment, but you’d have to get that through.


    It will happen – sooner or later.

  46. RockyLives says:

    Redders 🙂

    Chas: well played

  47. Rasp says:

    OK, I’ve just seen that chas has got it … I knew he would …. Na na, na na na na, Hey Hey Giroud 🙂

  48. Rasp says:

    Maradonna warms up to music ….

  49. stevepalmer1 says:

    Evening all,
    Nice one Rocky Boy, i do like a post with a bit of tongue in cheek a bit of humour and a question at the end, i am not much on stats and seeing how this fine post hasn’t got them, even better for me.

    Bale is a talent no doubt about that, when he runs at defences he does excite, he scores goals that’s the pluses, The negatives is the cost, also can we use him, and another could he fit in with our squad. and the biggest negative he’s a Spud and that heart shape celebration, for some reason that grates with me.

    Bale going on the market would be good, as he will come with a hefty price, and that should hammer one of the rich clubs FFP.

    Bale i must say has talent and a few of the goals he has scored have been of real quality, but for me not at our club.

  50. stevepalmer1 says:

    Just noticed your comment GN5, you make a good case mate, if i remember rightly didn’t Wenger trial the goal line technology in the Emirates cup.

    Just thinking 🙂

  51. California Gooner says:

    Enough with the Chimp jokes — chimps are faster, stronger and more agile than humans. If we can find one who plays football, we should sign him!

    But really, is there a question here? If Arsenal could sign Bale, of course they should. Play him out wide or play him centrally. It does not matter.

  52. Rasp says:

    Just to remind everyone, we need posts for the next 10 days – at the moment the cupboard is bare 😦

  53. fatgingergooner says:

    We have Wellington Silva who has just sorted out his work permit after a ridiculous amount of seasons on loan. He can play RW. I wonder if he will be recalled in the summer?

  54. Gööner In Exile says:

    Evening all, Bale yes please, at whatever cost.

    Look we will have a big fat war chest in the summer, we can sign Bale, sell Theo, and i don’t care what the wages would be.


    1….Come on who doesn’t want another Sol?

    2….Gooner B was commenting yesterday about Ollie struggling to hold the ball up long enough for his teammates to catch up, well with Bale you have someone who can start from deep and be on the opponents 18 yard in a matter of seconds, and he does take his goals well.

    He has unfortunately joined a team with a player with a huge ego, yes Bale does have an inflated self worth, but the poor lad was at the Shite Hole for a number of years and lets be honest that place makes their fans believe they are some glorious team so a few years there for Bale was never going to be helpful.

    Put him in amongst our team…….hmmm i’m going away for a moment. 😀

  55. fatgingergooner says:

    They may aswell give us Benzema aswell!

    Sanchez Benzema Bale

    Hmmmm, not bad.

  56. omgarsenal says:

    Who wouldn’t want one of the best attacking midfielders/strikers in the business? I believe his character fits in well with Wenger’s worldview and that, like Campbell, he would become a legend for Arsenal. That said, Real aren’t in the habit of selling their best players for a loss and certainly won’t want to sell to any club that could threaten their CL interests or their LaLiga ambitions. That means the Italian league or staying put, regardless.

  57. Big Raddy says:

    Morning All,

    Morning crew must be on holiday or offended by one of my posts.

    Akpom going on loan. Good idea IMO – hope he has more luck than Sanogo

  58. fatgingergooner says:

    Is Hodgson taking the p*ss?

    That’s 3 Liverpool players he’s allowed to go home and rest up for the Arsenal game in Lallana, Sturridge and Sterling. None of them looked that injured to me against United.

  59. Big Raddy says:

    FGG. Nothing new.

    Shame on the players for not insisting they represent their country. Once again we see that money is the over-riding consideration for these people.

    Fair play to Rooney who is genuinely proud to be England Captain

  60. RA says:


    And Spain have ‘allowed’ Costa to be excused boots for their games as Chelsea have said his leg is hanging off.

    That will be a hat-trick for him in the Chavs next match then.

  61. Morning all

    We have a New Post ……………….

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