Strictly Come Arsenal …….. your chance to vote!

Now I’m sure no red blooded Arsenal supporter would admit to watching Strictly Come Dancing – but maybe the missus has it on in the background or you’ve been forced to watch it as some sort of penance. For those that claim not to have seen it, the performance of the dancers is scored from 1 to 10. At the start of the series the scores are lower but towards the end the audience go into raptures when their favourite celebrity dancer is awarded a perfect 10……. which brings me to Arsenal.

Before the Sunderland game, Arsene said that the team was performing at 99% and when interviewed after he increased it to 99.5% – albeit with that playful little twinkle he often has in his eye.

To me a perfect 100% in terms of a sporting performance is never attainable. I’d happily shoot the next sportsman who claims to have given it 110% if I could get away with it. Clearly Arsene’s 99% was his way of saying to the players you’re doing really well …. just a leeeelte bit more please. It’s his style of man management.

For me the 20 seconds that led up to the winning goal by Arshavin against Barca was a 99%, and the first 20 minutes at home against Napoli last season was a 95% …. but 99.5% against Sunderland ….. really?

So what I’d like you to do today is have a think and vote on what you think is the current level of Arsenal’s performances. You can relax because no answer will imply negativity. If you agree we’re at 99% then you are very happy with our game and if you think it’s 80% then you’re simply saying we’ve got a lot more to come!

To continue the debate perhaps you could suggest a game or a passage of play  when you saw Arsenal play at 99%.

Written by De Ville’s Advocaat


132 Responses to Strictly Come Arsenal …….. your chance to vote!

  1. 100%…. why can’t we make quick counter attacks like this all the time… no chance for the opposition to get 9 men back 🙂

  2. RA says:

    Thank you for your Devil may care attitude De Ville’s Advocate. 🙂

    I voted for the 80 – 90% level, though it is more an expression of my current view than a mathematical calculation.

    We are better than most teams in the Premiership, and despite our apparently poor form as assessed by some fans, or perhaps the standards they have come to expect over the years, that is still pretty darn good.

    What the difference is between 80/90% and the very top mark relates to my opinion that we do not have top class players in certain positions, or too many are slipping down to the nadir of their careers.

    As has been said, ad nauseum, is that we are only 2 or maybe 3 players away from irritating the 2 teams occupying the high ground of the 90/100% level. So just a leetle bit more transfer activity Arsene and we will all be rockin’ in the aisles. 🙂

  3. Shard says:

    Whenever I try to think of my favourite Arsenal game, the first that comes to mind is the 5-3 vs Middlesborough, with the 2 quick goals (2nd scored by Reyes while they were showing the replay of the previous goal) brought us to 4-3, after earlier being 3-1 down. It tied our unbeaten run with Forest’s then record 42 games.

    I’d say that passage of play after going down 3-1, was among the best I’ve ever seen.

    I don’t really know how to rate us, but I went with 80-89%, since I don’t think we’re too far off, even as I think we’re not playing well. (The Anderlecht game would be a 20%, and that was only because of the late goals)

  4. Rasp says:

    That’s a brilliant clip Shard thanks – I’d forgotten that game. The pace and flow of our attacking play was awesome

  5. Big Raddy says:

    Advocaat. Fine post. Like you I detest the use of 110%

    I voted 70+ because we have yet to play a game with all our players on top form, if we get 7 playing well it is usually enough to get a result..

    Shard. Love that Boro clip though It brings back bad memories. My ex-wife had booked our summer hols without checking the date our season started and we flew home the day after the game – it was the first home game I had missed for many a season and believe me she got both barrels.

  6. kelsey says:

    Thank you for the post.

    I think I read it correctly. You asked what is the current level of Arsenal’s performance,so I presume this season, but I then get confused when examples are given of some excellent goals going back to Middlesborough which was years ago.

    Anyway I voted 70%

  7. RC78 says:

    I would say we are at 60-69% given the facts that:

    1. We are missing some key players (Koscielny, Walcott!) and some players have yet to hit form (Ramsey esp);

    2. We are not yet incisive enough effensively and are more frail defensively than last year.

    3. We have yet to see the impact of some players on our overall squad (Campbell, Gnabry).

    Now, the good news is that we have won some games despite playing abysmally against weak teams but the bad news is that we have not won enough and that we lost against Chelsea and Dortmund…

    Best performance so far this year: Half of the game against City.

    Best performance ever: too hard to say

    Anyways, one Walcott is back in the squad and that Ramsey hits form, we will be a totally different team offensively. I think that we are better off with playing a 4-2-1-3 rather than a 4-1-2-3 as neither Flamini nor Arteta have the abilities to play as lone HM…

    My starting XI – When all fit and after long thoughts:

    PiG – Debs, BFG, Kos, Gibbs – OX, Arteta – Ramsey – Walcott, Giroud or Wellbeck, Sanchez

    I put OX in my team alongside Arteta because I believe that OX can be great as a box-to-box as he has the drive and the workrate to succeed there…Arteta is ahead of Flamini just because he is better with the ball and with Ox at his side, they ll manage to defend well.

    Now I change my mind all the time…lol

  8. That goal by Jacko was exactly a year ago, when we were topping the league and the team were probably playing at 99.5%

    So where 99.5% comes from this season I’ve got no idea. I’d put it more at 60-70%. In comparison to last season I think that’s fair.

  9. chas says:

    I went for below 60% because for one reason or another we haven’t really got out of second gear yet.

  10. RC78 says:

    Wilshere’s goal was pure Arsenal brilliance and demonstrates the different type of team we can be in some games with Giroud in the squad…

  11. G’day all,

    I think perhaps Wenger’s 95.5% figure is correct. Given the current state of the squad, I doubt if there is much more to come.

    Alexis, Welbeck and Cazorla have played in virtually all the Premiership games so far, plus Internationals, Champions League and the Capital One Cup. And, in the case of the latter two, it shows.

    Wilshere isn’t fully fit, Ramsey looks well off his best. The one player who looks near to his top form is Oxlade-Chamberlain.

    The pick-and-miss-match defence are just about coping.
    When Walcott gets back things will improve, his pace will liven things up. Wenger just has to make use of what quality there is on the bench, give Welbeck and Cazorla a rest by bringing in either Podolski or Campbell and play Rosicky.

    Yet more changes in the defence are inevitable, with again Gibbs injured, Monreal must move to left-back, Chambers to centre-back and Bellerin start at right-back. Of that back four, the one player I fear for is Callum Chambers, not only is he constantly swapping from full-back to centre-back but he’s at risk of burn-out from the number of games he’s having to play.

  12. RC78 says:

    I fully agree about the risk of also losing Chambers to injury…My other fear is also to lose Alexis as he is also being overplayed…

  13. The best passage of play I can recall?

    1st February 1958, Arsenal 0 – 2 at home to the Busby Babes. Three goals in as many minutes got us into the lead. Great passing, great pace and great goal scoring.

    Sadly it wasn’t enough, final score 4 – 5.

    Only five days later many of United side perished in the Munich Air crash.

  14. arnie says:

    Nice one, the De Ville or his (her?) Advocaat. 😛 I voted 70-79%. I think we are improving game on game, marginally at the moment, but I believe we are.

    99% would be us at our sublime best, and that too only during a specific passage of play. Consistently over a series of games, the best we can do is I think about 90%. I believe we can get there in about 10 games.

    In the mean time, there is the small matter of ManUre, Dortmund and Soton. All three at home, so I am hopeful we can negotiate these with aplomb.

  15. arnie says:

    Enjoyable motning batner. Thanks all, and thanks RC for your good wishes. I woke up to bad news from afar, and more disconcerting news was to follow, this time from immediate home here in Botland.

    Nevertheless, AA is great pleasure and a helpful distraction, and I plan to be around. Let us see what happens.

    The fight goes on! 🙂

  16. Rasp says:

    Hi arnie, I’m sorry I didn’t know you were suffering some strife – my best wished for a satisfactory resolution 🙂

  17. arnie says:

    Rasp. Age and illness are the love and marriage of modern times! High spirit, head held high, and chipping away against the forces of nature! 😛

  18. Big Raddy says:

    arnie. That’s the spirit. Play life with a straight bat and all will be well, unless some bounder bowls you a googly

  19. Jämie says:

    Compared to how we played last year, I’d say we’re playing at about 70%. Considering the squad additions, I believe we could be playing way better than we’re currently are. I think when Theo and Özil return, well be able to play at 99% for longer periods like last season.

  20. RA says:

    The only bounder on here, today, is the man I always look to for positives, save for Terry that is, and that happens to be Chas, and he serves up not a googly but a curmudgeonly 60%.

    Shocking – the bounder is a cad – or is that, the cad is a bounder – he has obviously been kidnapped by Eddie and forced to make the assessment under duress! What would Ant say? 🙂

  21. chas says:

    You’ve got the whole gist of the poll round your neck.
    The higher the assessment of how well we’re playing, the more “stockings on” you are.
    Just look at Norfolk’s answer – this is as good as it gets for him.

    I’m definitely a “stockings nearly off and dangling around the ankles” kind of chap, hence I can see things improving tremendously.
    Any better?

  22. chas says:


  23. chas says:

    We only have 60% of last year’s points after 9 games, so what other conclusion could a logician come to?

  24. arnie says:

    ah, Chas the logician! 😛

    Raddy. 🙂

  25. chas says:

    Good luck with your trials and tribulations, arnie.

  26. RA says:

    I am totally confused by your clarification, Chas, I thoughtRasper was the one with his nickers one leg and zip on the other. 🙂

    In fact you turn out to be in a majority of bounders, with 60% in the ascendancy, so a camel hump half full and a bit.

    My 80% seems to be somewhat forlorn, with the barometer showing we are in the doldrums.

  27. RA says:

    And I suppose it all depends on the size of you logs, Chas, the logician 🙂

  28. chas says:

    Nothing wrong with the size of my log.

  29. RA says:

    I suspect your problems are family illness related, arnie, and some years ago when both my mother and father passed quite close together – I set out travelling all over the States with no destination in mind.

    just rode the rails and met people and one day I was OK again.

    Tell the truth I miss those days – there is something about bumming a ride in a freight car – and not caring where it was going. Tricky tho’. 🙂

    Anyway, i hope things work out for you.

  30. chas says:

    Surely knickers half on isn’t as good as knickers half off? 🙂

  31. Rasp says:

    Let me clarify ……

    Tights half up = pessimism … implies they’re on the way up
    Tights half down = optimism …. implies they’re on the way down
    One leg in implies you can’t make your mind up 😆

  32. Rasp says:

    😛 chas got there before me

  33. chas says:

    For all you Fat Bob fans out there, cop a load of this belter….

    (The description below the vid says ‘The original audio track of this video was replaced with a better sounding source from that same performance’)

  34. chas says:

    I thought one leg in implies impatience. 🙂

  35. Rasp says:

    Brilliant chas, so one leg half up and one half down must imply indecision

  36. Rasp says:

    I would like to point out that my original analogy was stockings and not tights and this is the preferred terminology – not only because stockings can be removed individually but also because they can be fishnet, attached to suspenders and standing in high heels 😕

  37. chas says:

    As for half-cooked chicken………….Sam ‘n Ella plus bilious vomiting can turn anyone’s demeanour bitter and twisted.

  38. Rasp says:

    Personally I’m having a stockings half down day …….

  39. RA says:

    Two legs out indicates success.

    But it worries me that Rasp wears knickers – I don’t known what Big Bertha would make of it if I told her that I was swopping my chunky long-johns for flimsy women’s apparel – mind it would have to be some solid sized woman. 🙂

  40. Rasp says:

    Now I’m getting confused because its obviously better if the stockings stay on?

  41. Knickers off would = glass half full

    But actually it would = glass full

  42. RA says:

    Now I am becoming disorientated.

    I can’t make my mind up if Norther’s pic at 4:51 shows them goin up, or comin down, and after Rasper’s 4:52 boasting about his fishnet stockings and high heels I am ….. well, shocked and curious.

  43. Rasp says:

    You guys are obviously taking this the wrong way and getting all smutty so I’m going to put stockings in Room 101 and replace it with “Crumpets half toasted”

  44. RA

    You don’t have any experience, if they were going on then she wouldn’t have any shoes on

    But alternatively, if she IS putting them back on then it means the business has been done 🙂

  45. RA says:

    I don’t know who started all this knickers business, but he deserves to be shot. Now I have had to ‘phone BB to see if she will have me back – well on a short-term basis (not that I have problem with my terms, OK?)

    And she said “f*** off and don’t play with my f****** kn***** and f****** suspend***, you f****** sh** f**** bas****.”

    I think I’m in with a chance there! 🙂

  46. RA says:


    I am experienced enough to know that Rasper is a canny lad. Stockings don’t really have much part to play in deciding whether or not one can gauge Arsenal’s performances this season – on or off! 🙂

  47. ah… censored, condom has gone into room 101 🙂

  48. stevepalmer1 says:

    Evening all, A fairly strange post Advocaat at this stage of the season. Wenger i believe is trying out his Psychology or kidology, perhaps a better word, 99.5% has left me speechless or almost.

    Now i am one who does watch Strictly, why i watch it i don’t know i know its fixed and as far as a competition it is a joke. A fat woman who hasn’t got leg action foot action and looks like a blown up doll, gets though. A gay Pigeon toed clown who moves like he has s–t himself, also through, a Scottish woman without any coordination with straight legs and flat feet also through, while a Manley rugby player who has improved every week and who is having a relationship with his partner is voted off by so called experts, do me a favour experts my eye. Fiddle fiddle fiddle.

    Arsenal at present abysmal, Passing, individual, and teamwork, only one word describes this spell of play abysmal.

    90% luck at the moment, draws that should have been losses , How does Wenger get 99.5% when we struggle in every game.

    I don’t even give the invincible’s 99.5% and they did something no body living has ever seen before, in my mind they want to walk before they can run, just for that i give them 60% as they are 5th or 6th and there are a lot behind them, but no more until they can string a couple of games of reasonable football.

  49. Now who would be prude enough to censor condom? Safe sex and all that, it’s a necessary part of sex education! Come on, own up.. 🙂

  50. It was me northbank, my mum was just looking at the blog when your comment came on and she frowned. I bowed to parental pressure I’m afraid 😉

  51. Fair enough peaches, Mum’s rule 🙂

  52. The Cockie Monster says:

    If `69er had been a full stockings on type instead of a stockings half off type…….. he wouldn`t have got picked out of the police line up !. Not a suspenders sentence for the dodgy bastard !. hahaha

  53. The only time I’ve ever worn a stocking is over my face 🙂

  54. bugger, posted too soon, should have continued, *just as Cockie said.*

  55. Big Raddy says:

    chas. Worrying that a Spurs fan should voice an opinion close to my own.

  56. oh dear, the vote has shown that the majority think the current level of performance is below 60%. I must be a positivista for thinking it was between 60-70%……… there you go Transpant man, I’m in your camp…. and I emphasize CAMP ha ha

  57. arnie says:

    Thanks guys. Yes, family meaning wifey. Unfortunately, modern life means old age starts early. Such is life! 🙂

  58. arnie says:

    motning all. wakey wakey. 🙂

  59. Eddie says:

    Ha ha ha chas, I noted there were few 99% votes and I was sure it was you! gie and Annie 🙂 I voted for 70ies and that’s generous IMO.

    What’s wrong with your wife Arnie.

  60. arnie says:

    As per NorthBank’s wishes:

  61. arnie says:

    This is with younger daughter Anoushka. Both daughters are really remarkable.

  62. arnie says:

    Raddy. your downhill comment yesterday was really surprising. Decreasing marginal returns!

    The first one I put up was Dhrupad-Dhamar, the earliest form of Indian music. From the vedic times. Most people, somewhat uninitiated, find it very heavy.

    This is why I tried to then make the load progressively lighter, first a relatively light part of a khayal by one of the greatest contemporary vocalists, Pandit Jasraj.

    And then instrumental. Shehnai by Ustad Bismillah Khan.

    This is why your reaction was a bit of a surprise. But then you are a hippy who has travelled in India, I guess widely, and may not be quite so much of an uninitiated newby. 😛

  63. arnie says:

    A lecture demonstration from much earlier. When Pandit Ravi Shankar used to play really well. Probably 70’s.

  64. Eddie says:

    Yes ready, a very good article, worrying times for old school fans.

  65. chas says:

  66. Big Raddy says:

    Morning All,

    Strangely quiet without Didit and Chas in the mornings.

    arnie. It is purely a question of taste – of which I have just the bare modicum.

    I spent a long, long night at a Ravi Shankar concert, it felt endless. Stupidly I went to see him a second time having listened to more India music, only to discover that my first impressions were correct. Brilliant musician, lovely man but dull concert.

    But credit where credit is due I stayed to the end which is more than can be said when forced by Mrs Raddy to see UB40 and on another occasion Simply Red.

  67. mickydidit89 says:


    There were 12 votes in the over 90% categories. Yikes, glad they don’t work for me 🙂

    Anyway, I’m back and ready for anything, although it’s a bit like having that worldy Sting in yer front room with all that Indian Music.

    Morning Arnie.

  68. chas says:

  69. chas says:

  70. chas says:

  71. mickydidit89 says:

    Love that Cantona bloke. So wish he had played for us, and there’s a thought, so wish we had exactly one of his talent and example right now.

  72. chas says:

  73. chas says:

  74. Morning arnie

    Thanks for the wakey wakey with Ravi 🙂

    That vid of Cantana shows something that is really worrying in football today. After he nearly broke another players leg, he has no concern for the player, all he’s concerned with is what the ref will do. You see it too often these days and I think it’s a sad indictment of the game.

  75. chas says:

  76. chas says:

    October 22

  77. Eddie says:

    How is your brother.? Any gruesome stories?
    Arnie – I’m in Poland. Played your clip and was shouted at to turn that noise off. I think it’s in your genes, you have to be Indian to fully appreciate it. A bit like jellied pigs’ trotters – polish delicacy 🙂 or tripe soup, take your pick

  78. mickydidit89 says:

    Paul. Tosser.
    Ringo. Tosser.

  79. Big Raddy says:

    arnie. There is no Ravi in that vid, just the tabla player!

  80. chas says:


    Did you see yesterday afternoon’s Fat Bob video?

    Also, do you know what type of rock the chippings from Everest are, ta?

  81. mickydidit89 says:

    Yeah right Chas. They treat dogs like shit. Worshipped indeed!

    It’s the only reason my brother has two

  82. Eddie says:

    Ooh aah Cantona! Ooh aah Cantona!!!
    My cat had kittens when Eric was at his best and I called all the off springs Cantona

    Chas – the Dog Day – is it for real? Is it today?

  83. chas says:

    So that he can treat them like shit?

  84. Eddie says:

    Brian O’driscoll was my hero too, what a fantastic guy, shame hem retired

  85. chas says:

    The tweet was from October 22, so no.
    I thought Micky might have a comment, what with Nepalese Nigel being such an all round good egg.

  86. Eddie says:

    Chas – of course, DidIt told us he is a bastard

  87. chas says:

    Any better, BR? 🙂

  88. mickydidit89 says:

    Fat Bob as in Robert Smith? So answer to that is no.

    Everest rocks? Small fingernail size grey things.
    Can you imagine, a Sherpa escorting some mountaineer down from the summit, along the worlds highest and most treacherous ridge, only ten minutes fro the top and Sherpa saying “hang on a mo., Didit Major wants me to get my ice axe out and grab a few pockets of rock chips. Should only take 20 minutes’ worth of our oxygen up here in the death zone”

    Send you one if you want.

  89. Big Raddy says:

    I was never a fan of Fat Bob’s early work but really enjoyed the simplicity of the vid.

  90. mickydidit89 says:


    Did I say bastard? Mmm. Sometimes. Can be very nice also.

  91. Big Raddy says:

    If everyone of the loonies who pay so much to summit Everest took some chippings from the top it would eventually lead to it being the second highest mountain and thus devalue their ill-gotten gains. 😀

  92. Big Raddy says:

    chas. Much better

  93. chas says:

    I once read that the rocks at the top of the Himalayas were sedimentary.
    Just wondered if that was what you had.
    Geology and its time frames – wow, boom shankar. 🙂

  94. mickydidit89 says:


    I think it’s only fair to be honest with you, so that I, at least, am not responsible for leading you on.

    That noise is horrible and will never strike any chords with us without massive drug intake.

    Also, you keep banging on about we on this site celebrate diversity. Again, I need to be clear on that point as well, count me out, as I certainly do not.


  95. RA says:

    I am often sedimentary, Chas, just a lazy sod I suppose, but I am one with the sedentary rocks.

  96. mickydidit89 says:

    Morning also Raddy and NB

    I guess they are sedimentary, and Raddy, thing is everyone won’t all do the same, so little to worry about there 🙂

  97. kelsey says:

    Morning all.

    I know nothing about rocks or indian music but I wish your wife better,arnie.

    I might do a post about Wenger based on chas’s 60|% and my own feelings 😉

  98. mickydidit89 says:


    I take it from that Crystal comment that your Wife is unwell. I hope she makes a full and speedy recovery. Sorry to hear it.

  99. chas says:

    Get writing, kelsey.
    9.30am would be fine.

  100. RA says:

    Anyway, Chas, why climb Mt Everest or K2 to get some rock chipping? – technically, those mountains with bases deep in the sea are the tallest (OK so that is not the highest, in above sea level terms) 🙂 so just pop over to the pacific and have a gentle stroll and voila, Mt Kea will give you a nice chipping and a good sun tan. 🙂

  101. kelsey says:

    Not today chas really,have to go to the dentist but will tomorrow or the next day.

  102. mickydidit89 says:


    Rock is hard stuff and comes in different colours. The plant that most of us live on is made of it (naturally, I exclude everyone who voted 90+ %)

    Bring on that post. It’ll be good for 200 comments

  103. mickydidit89 says:

    plant = planet 🙄

  104. chas says:

    But we all know the Earth is only 6000 years old and someone put those rocks up there so we could marvel at his creation.

  105. Ravi has just been put into Room 101 🙂

  106. chas says:

    This is what came to mind when Evonne said she’d been told to turn the music down.
    Anywhere near?

  107. RA says:

    Hi NB,

    If you are still around, and have not gone back to bed, again, that Damon is knocking you into a cocked hat, or is that a bendy chorizo? 🙂

  108. RA says:

    Well to be fair Chas, It was all knocked up in 7 days, and you have to make allowances.

  109. mickydidit89 says:


    Interesting point. Just googles Mount Kea. It’s about 4000m above sea level. Everest 8000. So are you saying Kea goes 4000 odd deep beneath the waves?


  110. Big Raddy says:

    Anyone have something to put up as a post?

  111. RA

    But the lazy bastard had a rest on the 7th day.

  112. RA says:

    I don’t know, Micky, and could not be assed to look it up.

    I heard it at a Pub Quiz, as a trick question – you know mixing highest and tallest, and like a lot of useless stuff it just stuck in the memory banks, and I don’t know if it was correct.

  113. RA says:


    That’s a terrific cartoon. I take it the guy in the stetson represents you? 🙂

  114. mickydidit89 says:

    18000 ft below sea level. Wow.

  115. mickydidit89 says:

    I could do a quick starter if you’re around to push the button.

  116. RA says:

    Fantastic pics, graph, Chas – so I shouldn’t be so sniffy about Pub Quizzes – just because i don’t win. 🙂

    Mt Kea the iceberg of the mountain world.

    I am not surprised, really, having lived for a time in Hawaii, and walked around the volcano Kilauea which is still ‘bubbling’ away nicely, creating even more lava from which the islands came. 🙂

    Wear stout shoes if you go up there, and don’t walk on the red bits! 🙂

  117. chas

    Just looking at the mountain comparison and there seems to be a bit of a discrepancy on Mount Kea. It says total height 33,465 ft, and then 13793 ft above sea level and then 18000 ft below sea level. Somehow, 1672 ft has gone missing?

  118. Big Raddy says:

    Mazing pics though I don’t understand them. What is the arc?

  119. Morning all

    Just rifling around in the cupboard, back in a bit.

  120. RA says:


    — It’s got a big beach?? 🙂

    — Depends on whether or not Raddish has gone in for a swim??

    — The Pub Quiz Master is a lying sod??

  121. We have a New Post …………………..

  122. mickydidit89 says:

    Done Daddy

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