Suarez to Arsenal In January Is 100% Certain

“Calm down, calm down,” as Ga, Ba and Te from Harry Enfield’s ‘The Scousers’ would say.

When I use the phrase “100% Certain” what I mean is 100% certain NOT to happen.

There may have been stories in the press and on the internet over the last couple of days suggesting that the Uruguayan masticator might be heading our way for a cool fifty million, but PUR-LEEESE…

Brendan Rodgers could not be more of a Muppet if he had Jim Henson’s arm up his arse, but even he is not that stupid.

I imagine that Liverpool’s strong start to the season will soon fall apart like a kid’s toy on Boxing Day. It looks all shiny and exciting on Christmas Day, but then the working parts stop working, bits start to break off, the wheels (literally) come off and finally it’s abandoned in the corner, never to be played with again.

But even if ‘Pool are well placed in the Premier League pace by January, this transfer could never happen.

For one thing, the long-suffering and perennially optimistic Liverpool supporters would be up in arms. Those poor fans have had to put up with so much manure, false promises and even falser dawns over the last 20 years that selling Suarez to a “rival” (I know, don’t laugh) could be the final straw.

Never mind our Black Scarf movement, Anfield could be brought to its knees by a black ‘tache-and-perm protest of the like not seen this side of Saddam Hussain’s personal bodyguard.

The facts just don’t add up.

For a start, the Liverpool hierarchy were clearly deeply offended at our attempt to land El Munchio for what we thought was his release fee plus a quid. Apparently, according to some observers, this was “disrespectful” and we should have bid a million pounds more than we thought we needed to just to be nice.

I don’t know what sort of world these observers live in, but clearly it’s one with diamond encrusted armchairs and champagne glasses made out of the frozen tears of nightingale chicks if they think so little of a million smackers.

Personally I think it’s good that our club is not so profligate as to p*ss away such a large amount of money to make a bunch of pseudo-Scouse American millionaires feel a bit better about themselves.

Nevertheless, the episode clearly left a nasty, Ivanovicy taste in the mouth and did nothing to foster good relations between the two clubs.

I’m sure our Board of Directors are still mulling over the unsubtle barbs that were sent flying their way by John Henry and his cronies (apparently, in response to Henry’s comment that “I don’t know what they’re smoking at the Emirates,” Sir Chips Keswick was heard to say: “Well obviously we’re smoking hand-made Cuban Ramon Allones Estupendos. What are they smoking in Lancashire? Marlborough Lights?”).

So, that’s hardly a propitious starting-point for us trying again in January, is it? If ‘Pool were to sell Suarez it would  more likely be to Real Madrid than to us.

But in fact it does not make sense for Liverpool to sell their best player to anyone in the mid season transfer window.

With Manchester United in freefall under the iron flipper of Gollum Moyes, Manchester City unable to decide whether they are world beaters or panel beaters, Chelsea struggling to convert their free-flowing skilful attackers into Mourinho robots and Totteringham providing the laughs for everyone, this may be Liverpool’s best ever chance of getting back into the top four.

I think they’re unlikely to do it, but without Suarez there is absolutely no chance.

It might even be a resigning issue for Rodgers if his Board insist on selling the Uruguayan without his support

So, I’m sorry to say, the little fellow will not be coming our way in January or ever.

We may buy a striker in January but it won’t be him and I even have my doubts as to whether we’ll buy anyone.

The signing of Ozil shows we have moved our shopping habits from Lidl to Harrods and I’m not sure how many strikers will be available in the January sales at Harrods. I happen to think that, barring injury to Giroud, we will not add to the squad at all.

What do you think?



131 Responses to Suarez to Arsenal In January Is 100% Certain

  1. g clarke says:

    The kid like black scalf and back stabbing bloggers aaas were and are a disgrace to supporters and arsenal


  2. chas says:

    Haha, nice one, Rocky.
    Maybe if Rodgers resigns, we ought to consider him for next Arse manager. 🙂

    Suarez to Arsenal is 100% not going to happen. In fact, I doubt the two clubs will do any business for the foreseeable future.

  3. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Bravissimo Rocky.

    The usual brilliant lines to light up our Monday, thank you.

    Naturally, I take a certain amount of personal offence to the Marlboro Light fag reference, but I’m in forgiving mode 🙂

    I tend to agree it’s unlikely Pool would flog us Suarez, or even that he wants to come, but stranger things have happened. I never imagined Sol would see the light, or be allowed to stroll into it, so who knows.

  4. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Ha ha ROLF, brilliant pic Chas 🙂

  5. Norfolk Gooner says:

    Good morning to you all.

    Excellent post as always Rocky, Nah! we won’t be signing Light Bite Luis. But according to the Telegraph Lewandowski might still be an option.

    Apparently there is no truth in the rumour that his summer move to Bayern Munich is a done deal. “I will be able to sign a contract [with any club] in January, but I have never said that I will sign a contract with Bayern,” Lewandowski said. “One day I would like to play in Premier League. It would be a great experience.”

    Borrussia Dortmund won’t want to lose him for free in the summer, so a serious bid in January could secure his services. C’mon Arsene, send a taxi for him, get him signed up, you know it makes sense!

  6. Norfolk Gooner says:

    Great picture Chas, but that’s not a protest, it’s the regulars at the Kop End. 😀

  7. Jeb says:

    Don’t out headlines like this just so your site can get hits. It’s sad

  8. LB says:

    Great read Rocky

    Thank you for continuing to take the trouble to write them.

    I always like to pick out my favourite line and today’s is:

    “a black tache-and-perm protest” This conjures such a funny image to me.

    And my semi serious point is that although I agree that Liverpool are more likely to sell him to Real Madrid, it is Arsenal who are more likely to buy him, subtle difference but important nevertheless.

  9. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Ooo LB, that is a very good point. I shall call you “Subtle” from here on. Maybe 🙂

  10. chas says:

    Isn’t that a bit like saying Tottingham Hotsperms are more likely to win the Prem than Stoke?

  11. Räsp says:

    Jeb, have a look around the site, we do not carry advertising or make any money out of hits or by any other means. This is an Arsenal site for Arsenal supporters with no other agenda than promoting healthy discussion of issues affecting our team.

    The headline was designed to get people reading an article that although amusing in nature, carried a serious message.

  12. GoonerB says:

    I agree.

  13. MickyDidIt89 says:

    What are you on about Chas?

    The final league standings are perfectly clear and laid out elegantly in Exile’s Masterpiece….The Swingometer 🙂

  14. MickyDidIt89 says:

    How do you make the “eyeballs rolling around” smiley face 🙂

  15. GoonerB says:

    Sorry Rocky, I should have said a bit more but it’s this damned “how to say what you want in less words” course that I have been attending.

    lovely post and I agree that i think Suarez will not be a possibility but I do think that there will be a couple of top strikers available. Whether we go in for them or not is another matter.

  16. Räsp says:

    Hi Micky, its colon, the word roll and then another colon with no spaces 🙄

  17. Räsp says:

    Top post Rocky, I hope its not wasted on too many people 🙄

    Someone put up a very interesting article the other day that featured an interview with AW talking about the need for a striker at all. The false striker seems to be the way ahead. It appears that AW believes that players like Ozil who set up the golascoring opportunities are the most important. I think I read that only 51% of the goals scored this season have come from strikers.

  18. LB says:


    To answer your question: No, not in my opinion.

    It is equally unlikely that Tottenham and Stoke will win the league but it is more likely that Arsenal will buy Suarez than Real Madrid.

  19. nobby says:


  20. LB says:

    Everyone knows my obsessive views on Wenger but when it comes to transfer talk I trust what he says as far as I can throw him.

  21. nobby says:

    :- i

  22. chas says:

    Ahh, LB.

    I thought we were talking about the dippers selling Suarez in January and I think the chances of that are zero. 🙂

  23. LB says:


    I agree with that.

  24. LB says:

    Someone was talking about false number nines above.

    The thing I am most looking forward to in the world of all things Arsenal is of course the first game when Cazorla starts with Ozil.

    The second thing I am most looking forward to is when we play Ozil as a false number nine. This might take an Ollie injury which I do not wish to see but there will be a very exciting silver lining.

  25. goonermichael says:

    Nice one Rocky

    The story going around at the moment is that Suarez is adamant he wants to leave and he’ll push for it again in January. I don’t think there is anyway they’ll sell to us. The rumour is that we are being offered Benzema at a cut price £20m to partly fund RM buying Suarez. If RM go in for him with decent money I think they’ll sell.

    There is even less chance of us getting Lewandowski.

  26. Red Arse says:

    As usual I am well taken by your purple prose, Rocket, tho how you could mention those poor nightingale orphans in the context of Suarez observers – well ………………. “diamond encrusted armchairs and champagne glasses made out of the frozen tears of nightingale chicks” — sob, sob.

    I may well be an oddity here, but when I envision Arsenal buying players it is not only footballing skills I am looking for, I am also hopeful we will acquire someone with pure thoughts, wholesome chiselled good looks and athletic bodies, such as those possessed by Mickey and Duck that spring to mind, in a very heterosexual way, of course and to that end the idea of a scrofulous, cannibalistic goofball just does not do it for me!!

    Stick to Giro Check and Sanogo is what I say.

    I was talking with a bunch of friends and other dudes in a bar last night, included in the party was a scrawny, obviously wealthy guy I did not know, who even made me look less ugly.

    About 10:30 this stunning woman walked in dressed immaculately and looking like a film star, and my jaw betrayed me by failing to work as it should. She looked like someone you want to see in a dream that you want to dream about again as often as possible, and eyes on stalks I just could not get enough of her. As she came closer I was enveloped by her perfume which made me start to dribble – damn that jaw – and huskily said to my friends in a gently mocking tone, ‘I hope my husband is behaving himself.’

    Incredulously I switched my gaze from this vision of youthful perfection to regard her middle-aged husband and then back again.
    Immediately my thoughts were filled with the undiluted knowledge of the sure and certain power of money and rolling my tongue up, I put it back into my mouth and tried to act nonchalantly by taking a sip of my beer, which unfortunately fooled no one as it refused to go down my gullet and instead somehow ran down my best shirt and onto my crotch -oh, the ignominy.

    Wish I could stay and regain some equilibrium by talking footie but my folks are picking me up later, and I have to prepare some lame excuses to try and defect the joshing I am going to get. 🙄

  27. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Hi GM

    I think Benzema has the not-so-small matter of a court case coming up, but a shake up involving those two does look a possibility.

  28. 26may1989 says:

    I agree, Rocky, it’s very unlikely Suarez will join us in January. The player refused to use his power to force the move in the summer (as did Rooney), and I don’t see that changing in January, when he would be much harder to replace.

    Having got Ozil, and therefore having destroyed that myth about Wenger having been stubbornly refusing to spend a vast pile of cash he’s supposedly been sitting on for the last eight years, the pressure to sign Suarez for reasons other than his footballing talent has dissipated. And while he is very talented, Suarez comes with so much behavioural baggage, plus the inevitable saga of wanting to go to Madrid a little way down the track, that there would always be question marks about him being the right choice. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fantastic player, but there’s certainly a sense of having dodged a bullet.

    Lewandowski would be great (if nothing else, it would make our Polish clique huge, which would please evonne) but I can’t see us signing him in January – I think he’s Dortmund’s only senior striker, and sacrificing him mid season for a few million euros wouldn’t make a lot of sense for them. And I can’t see anyone offering Dortmund €10m or something similarly silly for the sake of one half season of football. Perhaps we, as well as City, Chelsea, Spurs and United, could try to get him on a mega Bosman for the summer, but no earlier than that, and even then, I’m sure he will end up at Bayern.

    Benzema would be alright (ok, perhaps a bit more than alright), but he doesn’t get the juices flowing like one of the more mobile types. He does, as micky says, have a court case pending, for sex with an underage prostitute – that doesn’t exactly commend him, to say the least, however, I think the French prosecutor actually asked for the charges to be dropped for a lack of evidence against Benzema, but the judge decided to proceed anyway. Seems odd, but it does sound like he’ll be cleared at some point.

    There is another person who’s facing potential sex crime charges that could be a candidate: Loic Remy. If he did participate in a gang rape, lock him up. But if he’s cleared next month (which is possible) perhaps there is scope to sign him from QPR in January, presumably also compensating Newscastle for losing a player midway through a loan.

    Why do so many of these strikers (allegedly) have such crappy personalities?

  29. neamman says:

    At this moment I believe there are no squad additions expected, unless its a youngster for the future. But It all could change depending on injuries and our form over the next 10 weeks. If we suddenly stop scoring or start leaking goals then anything is on the table. But I feel when all are fit we have a very competitive squad.

  30. Evönne says:

    🙄 just testing

  31. neamman says:

    Why do so many of these strikers (allegedly) have such crappy personalities?

    That’s only what we hear about. Probably many more players than we realise are complete a-holes .. that’s to be expected.. they are not Gods.. just humans with one great skill.
    That’s why I don’t really care what a player does off field.. as long as he preforms on the pitch and his other activities don’t harm the team than sign him up. IMHO.
    Off field is private, how many of us would want our own private lives on public view?

  32. chas says:

    The nature of the beast maybe.
    I seem to remember at school it was the centre forward who was usually the most obnoxious one in the team.
    The need for single-mindedness and the attendant belief that the rest of the team are there to enable the striker to score must play a part?

  33. 26may1989 says:

    Neamann, I generally agree with both your points: I don’t care what football players are like off the pitch and so much of it is all tittle-tattle. But criminal proceedings for gang rape and paying for sex with minors take things to levels where it does matter. As for Suarez, his off pitch behaviour doesn’t seem to cause any problems, with him it’s the way he behaves once he gets on to the pitch that has the impact.

    Chas, yup, agree with that.

  34. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Chas and 26

    I played Long Stop when forced into cricket, which is as far from the limelight as possible. That must make me a “good bloke” right?

    Cripes, are those the allegations against Benzema?

  35. RockyLives says:

    Good day all and thanks for the comments.

    I was in New York for a few days and wasn’t able to check in and say hello to the AA loonybin, but I got back last night and caught up with the posts and comments before scribbling my words on Suarez.

    The Friday round up continues to be an xcellent addition to the site; BR’s “Part Deux” made for another good discussion and I misread GiE’s headline at first glance and thought it was going to be an article called “where have all the whingers gone?” Once I had realized my mistake I enjoyed the post and comments. Tactical Bollocks is not my strong point so I always enjoy other people’s views on such arcane things.

    Anyway, it’s Thanksgiving today in Canada (think Christmas lite), which happens about a month before American Thanksgiving, so Happy Thanksgiving fello AA-ers 🙂

  36. RockyLives says:

    “Long stop” 😀

    I haven’t heard that expression in years. Do they use the term in professional cricket?

    I was always Long Stop too 🙂

  37. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Everything you are all saying about personality types, does underline what appears to be a very happy dressing room Arsene has assembled.

    I used the term “big swinging dick” last week when referring to a player, and went on to say how much I enjoyed the understated and modest celebration from Ozil.

    It’s great when your very top players don’t come saddled with that “I’m the boss around here” type of character trait. What great examples Santi and Ozil are.

  38. LB says:

    I must be the only one who has stoped to look at the Suarez situation from Real Madrid’s view point rather than just keep repeating how much Suarez would obviously like to join Real.

    Did it cross anyone else’s mind to wonder why Real Madrid haven’t signed him before?

    Maybe people don’t realise how powerful the draw would be on a Uruguayan to join Real Madrid making it incredibly easy for the Spaniards to sign him whenever they would have wanted.

    And yet they never have……………I wonder why?

  39. RockyLives says:

    Isn’t it because they really wanted Monkey Boy and now they’re skint?

  40. MickyDidIt89 says:


    I always thought Long Stop was ideal for chatting up watching girls. It soon dawned on me that they all wanted to have sex with the arrogant yob smashing the ball over my head.

  41. MickyDidIt89 says:


    I, too, think that’s what LB meant, but who knows, he moves in wonderous ways to perform his mysteries.

  42. 26may1989 says:

    Hi LB. Yup, the thought has occurred – and the conclusuion I came to was two-fold: RM don’t rate Suarez as highly as others, and they find his bitey ways (as well as the use of racist insults) not in keeping with their image of themselves.

    I still think they might go for him at some point: they’ve sold one striker recently, and may be about to sell another; even if strikers are going out of fashion (copyright AW), they would need to go into the market for one at some point.

  43. 26may1989 says:

    Long stop in cricket is about as dead a fielding position as there could be – not much chance of seeing action down there, on the boundary rope, directly behind the wicket keeper. No offence micky, but I think your team may have being trying to give you a subtle hint….. 🙂

  44. dhakka09 says:

    Rocky; never took you as an attention seeker but that headline sure was the best of the bunch, only to throw spanner in the works. Job well done :p
    On a side note, was reading Independent earlier and came to know that Lewandowski’s wife is a Karate black belt, father a former Judo champion and mother, a professional volleyball player in her halcyon days. Now that’s a family no one would want to mess with, lol

  45. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Not so, 26, I performed a pivotal role. We had exceedingly fast bowlers who sent down many wides. I was a very busy fellow.

    But thanks for the insinuation. Mate 😦

  46. Evönne says:

    LB – I commented on this some time ago. In my opinion RM cannot risk their reputation being tarnished further, after all the problems Marinho created for them

    off to read rocky

  47. 26may1989 says:

    🙂 Apols micky!

    I’ve now got visions of you making one desperate dive after another in order to save the loose missiles of your team-mates, all while trying to keep your patter going with the objects of your desire.

  48. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Busy Fellow, as I said 🙂

    Good news.
    Just received my New Arsenal Membership pack. Liking this years’ contents very much, and no key ring 🙂

  49. Evönne says:

    happy lite xmas Rocky! Clearly you are in a festive mood already, cracking jokes as if there was no proper xmas in December!
    I think I agree with you about Suarez, ie Pool will not sell him to us. It’s a shame, because he could do for us what van Judas did for United.
    Mind you, he has ;less than two years left on his contract, so I guess they will sell him next summer probably to Chelsea.

    thanks for this humorous post!

    dhakka – Rocky is defo not an attention seeker, but merely a mickey teaser

  50. RockyLives says:

    I meant to say, thanks for that great pic of the Scousers 😀

    I wouldn’t be surprised if Mourinho came in for him. They certainly have the money at Chavski and no-one seems to be paying the slightest attention to Financial Fair Play.

    I never make any apologies for a cheeky headline that pulls in visitors to this fine site 🙂

  51. neamman says:

    I agree that criminal procedures should be prosecuted to the full and I was thinking more of a Bellamy or Barton who appear prickly people rather than actual criminals.

  52. dhakka09 says:

    Evonne: not being well-versed on the mysterious virtues of Rocky, I resorted to googling ‘Mickey Teaser’ and was instantly treated to a teaser-trailer to a Disney Wii game called ‘Epic Mickey’. As I hunkered down and listened to the final words of the narrator at the end of the teaser-trailer (….only then can a mischievous mouse become an epic hero), I had an epiphamy that even though you certainly didn’t mean it at the time, this was surely what you were destined to be telling me about 😛

  53. dhakka09 says:

    oh Rocky, there you are. right on the money 😉

  54. Räsp says:

    Micky, Long Stop is the position given to someone who can’t run, can’t catch, can’t field and nobody else wants to talk to 😆

  55. dhakka09 says:

    Rasp: I used to be (still am) a pretty bad thrower of the cricket-ball; could be the perfect place on the pitch for me. However, I often shamelessly compared my reflexes to that of Jonty Rhodes though 😀

  56. dhakka09 says:

    Rasp: and how come your smiley is pulling cheek muscles and laughing perennially while mine is stuck in some kind of frozen time-space? 😦

  57. Räsp says:

    Hi dhakka, its common practice to give your worst fielder the nickname Jonty …. we have one in our side 😕

  58. dhakka09 says:

    Rasp: if its any consolation (to me, of course), shall I try to paper-over-cracks by saying I used to go for batting at 4 wickets down and had a good cover drive and a good shot on my leg-side? 😐

  59. JM says:

    Luis Suarez is unlikely to move to Real Madrid:

    R1: Fiorentino Perez is a businessman. Looking for the next right image and marketing Galactico for Real Madrid.

    R2: Pere Guardiola, Suarez’s agent. (who is coincidentally both Jon Toral & Hector Bellerin’s agent as well).

    R3: Real Madrid (and Perez) will look forward to WC2014, and buy the next superstar who rises from that competition.

    R4: Perez might look at recruiting Falcao from Monaco instead. (as previously the Colombian was from their city rivals and unable to move across due to unique circumstances). A Galactico signing. (Which could involve in another transfer merry-go-round, with Benzema and Suarez linking with Monaco)

    Luis Suarez at Chelsea? Potential explosive encounter with Ivanovic. (The player who was beaten by Suarez).

    For our club, we stick with and support with the players we have, and bring in the necessary reinforcements next summer. (Pre-contract agreements could be done during the season). Expect 1st team positions with jerseys No.2, No.18 and No.13(perm) to be filled up at the least.

  60. Mayor of the Woolwich says:


  61. Evönne says:

    dhakka – sorry, I didn’t realise that it was an Irish expression:) It’s a person that gets you all excited and then pours a bucket of water over your head – Suarez 100% certain….not to join us kind of teasing

  62. LB says:

    Well, my view on why Real have never bought Suarez is that not only do they not rate him but equally as important they do not view him as being glamorous enough — not a Galactico.

    Real think of themselves as the biggest club in the world and one of the obvious ways they try to perpetuate this image is to continue to hold the record for owning the most expensive player in the world.

    Bale fits the bill perfectly; he is foreign and as such exotic and glamorous, all the boxes are ticked to keep the illusion in tact.

    Suarez is South American and they are not thought in any way shape or form as being glamorous; they are the people that Spaniards employ to clean their toilets. It is obviously a generalisation but it makes the point quickly.

    Any manager worth his salt watches the Copa de Libertadores (South America’s version of the CL) to keep abreast of the new talent coming out of that continent, well, common sense should scream out that every manager is Spain certainly does watch it ;where, you have to remember, no visas are required.

    My point is that Suarez was a star long before he moved to Ajax and Real would have known more about him than any club in this country ever will and as I said before the draw on a Uruguayan player to join Real Madrid is so strong that it makes it really easy for Real to sign him when ever they want — and yet they didn’t, nor did they before he went to Ajax and nor did they before he went to Liverpool and nor did they when he was trying his hardest to leave at Christmas.

    Saying that Real where more interested in Bale might be true but it does not follow that if they hadn’t signed him they would have gone for Suarez, I repeat they have had so many opportunities and every time they have passed.

    Lastly, anyone who uses the argument that the departure of Benzema will trigger a bid for Suarez is clearly unaware of Morata: to the Real Madrid faithful he is the most exciting young CF they have had in a long time and he is already at the club.

  63. LB says:

    Good comment JM, I hadn’t read yours before I wrote mine.

  64. 26may1989 says:

    All good points LB – just a tiny point of information: Suarez’s first move to Europe was to Groningen, where he had a season or so of scoring for fun before (amidst controversy) he pushed through a move to Ajax. Where he bit someone.

  65. LB says:

    Thanks 26

    I think that backs up my general point just that bit more.

  66. Basically, Long Stop = Being sent to Coventry !.
    Also known in Cricketing terms as….”The Billy No Mates Position ! “.

  67. neamman says:

    and it was a bugger changing position at the end of each over!!!

  68. Gooner 101 says:

    Shameless attempt to get more hits

  69. Evönne says:

    gooner 101 – not shameless, but clever 🙂

  70. MickyDidIt89 says:

    I wrote one cunningly entitled “Arsenal and Sex”. What do you reckon to that then?

  71. Evönne says:

    LB – You are probably right about Spaniards being image conscious and possibly right about the toilet cleaning stigma, but do you think that Bale looks better than Suarez??

  72. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Right, down to business, how’s the Post In-box looking between now und Friday? How many fillers required?

  73. LB says:


    No, not from my Anglo Saxon perspective.

  74. Jamie says:


  75. Evönne says:

    LB – same from my Slavic perspective 🙂

    what are you rolling your eyes for Jamie?

  76. chas says:

    So Messi is a toilet cleaner. It all makes sense all of a sudden.
    Or are the spaniards and basques ubendamentally different?

  77. Evönne says:

    Spaniards, Basques and Catalans are all different, a bit like Welsh, Irish and Scottish or Polish, Russian and Slovaks

  78. […] it is “essential” for top of the table Arsenal to sign in the January transfer window. Suarez, Konstantinos Mitroglou, Kjetil Haug, Patrick Herrmann, Mads Dohr Thychosen, Sime Vrsaljko, and […]

  79. Jamie says:

    Some comment about a colon and the word roll.

  80. dandan says:

    Have a look at this guys

  81. chas says:

    Ok, so Di Maria, Pepe, Higuain, Kaka and Marcelo are all toilet cleaners as was Di Stefano.

  82. chas says:


  83. chas says:


  84. Jamie says:

    Great post Rocky.
    Our Suarez dream is definitely over but Lewandowski seems a good option. He wants to leave BD for the PL and Neither the chavs or man city need a striker (I may be proven wrong though, those people are reckless spenders), Only a complete IDIOT would go to Man U and I think we can outbid anybody else.

  85. Evönne says:


  86. LB says:

    I wondered how long is it going to take someone to put Messi’s name forward.

    I was just trying to find a way to explain their prejudices as quick as I could.

  87. Evönne says:

    don’t be silly Chas, Di Maria, Pepe, Higuain, Kaka and Marcelo are all footballers, for xrists sake!

  88. Evönne says:

    😳 full stop after chas of course

  89. LB says:

    Ok while I am on a generalisation roll, excluding Mourinho’s reign, name me five black footballers who played for Real Madrid?

  90. Jamie says:

    chas 😀

  91. LB says:

    And for no other purpose than this interlull question, Marcello is not black; Makelele is.

  92. dhakka09 says:

    lol, after the revelation of ‘toilet cleaning’ bit, it makes sense now why Higuain left too, the last straw for him was probably trying to flush down an impossible Perez anaconda.

  93. Peter says:

    Classless attempt to drive traffic to your sub par website, waste of time!

  94. Jamie says:

    Name 5 Africans who made it under Fergie

  95. LB says:


    You are right, it inadvertently caught you.

  96. LB says:


    Is that a real question?

  97. Jamie says:

    Thanks Peter, we love AA too 😀

  98. Jamie says:

    LB, It would be if it actually had an answer.

  99. LB says:

    Fascinating, so it can’t be answered, hmmmm, I had never realised that.

  100. dhakka09 says:

    Evonne: Many thanx for elucidating the meaning of that Irish phrase for me. You’re a single ray of Confucian wisdom around this Gaellic wild-west swamped with obscure references and head-scratchable phrases 😀

  101. chas says:

    Robinho, Ronaldo the first, Mahamadou Diarra, Lassana Diarra, Pepe, Laurie Cunningham.

  102. Hello all

    No time to blog in the day I’m afraid 😦 but there are only four days to go until we get our football back …….. roll on Saturday 🙂

    I’ve haven’t checked arsenalnuts yet but we do need a post for tomorrow please and a couple more to see us to the weekend.

  103. chas says:

    The site is behaving very strangely.
    What’s all this Face palm “like this” rubbish after each comment?

  104. chas says:

    I’m getting motion sickness.
    It only stops after each “like this” is loaded.

  105. LB says:


    You have only got 3 so far (my 8.27 explains why)

    Laurie Cunningham is a good one though, hmmmm, he goes some way in disproving my theory.

  106. LB says:

    All I have got is more concerns about Wenger and Wilshere blowing a golden opportunity to win the EPL and I feel I am irritating enough already so best I keep my thoughts to myself I think.

  107. chas says:

    Do you irritate yourself? 🙂

    I quite like your lil’ Jack rants.
    Don’t stop.
    Do you think Jack’ll play once Santi comes back against Norwich?

  108. arnie says:

    Throw Dortmund ot of CL and go for Lewandowski, in the process adding some more Polish presence into the team. Thats a thought! Suarez would have been OK, but now that the Ozil regime is here to stay, we are a bit more choosy. Realistically speaking, I agree, there is nothing probably coming in January.

    Great fun, Rocky!!!!

  109. 26may1989 says:

    LB: Essien, Adebayor, Anelka, Baptista and a bit sneakily (since I don’t think he actually played a game for them before he went on loan to Mallorca) Eto’o.

    Oh bugger, I’ve just realised Essien was a Mourinho signing. Seedorf then.

  110. goonermichael says:

    Can’t see lewandowski coming here at all. He wants to go to BM. I’ve just read that the only reason it’s not done is because of the money. He say he’s been offered £300k a week by other clubs. That definitely isn’t us.

  111. 26may1989 says:

    I loved reading these words from AW today:

    “Of course, [the Ozil deal was] a big responsibility to spend that amount of money. But I feel comfortable with it because we had the money to do it. Before we couldn’t have done it because we didn’t have the money available. It’s as simple as that. I had a huge sense of responsibility when we built the stadium to get the Club through it without going bankrupt. The first years were difficult, and also explained why we lost some players. Now we are in a more comfortable financial position, I – more than anyone – want the great players to play for Arsenal Football Club. If we have to spend the money to do that, I will spend the money.”

  112. One problem with Wenger’s statement, he’s a bare faced liar.

  113. arnie says:

    26may: Nice. The wind has somewhat gone out of the financial fair-play idea, but I think this will return soon.

  114. MickyDidIt89 says:

    I’ll do a post, so you can all come out of hiding 🙂

  115. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Ok, post in.

    Back to the Membership Pack I got yesterday. The six little badges. Anyone else read the back explanations.

    For those that haven’t seen them, they are six AFC crests going back to the first time one was used on an Arsenal shirt in 1927.

    Interestingly, and news to me, our new East-Facing Cannon that I slag off is not, as I thought, a break with tradition. The first ever cannon used by the club on printed stuff back in 1922 was East Facing.

  116. LB says:

    Morning Chas

    I can’t do one of those smiling faces but imagine one here “l am irritating enough” lol

  117. chas says:

    Morning, LB. 🙂

    I really like the badges, too.
    We had this about the cannon facing direction a couple of weeks back. The first barrels were viewed from above, so looked like they were facing upwards etc etc.

    Ahhhh, the joys of no short term memory.

    It still amazes me how quickly you can knock one out. Did you used to be a journalist?

  118. chas says:

    Hey, it’s Mesut’s birthday.

  119. chas says:

    25 today.
    Give it a couple of years and he’ll be reaching his peak. 🙂

  120. Evönne says:

    Happy birthday Mesut and Nick xxx

  121. Evönne says:

    i love Ozil’s goals, especially the ones from a long distance. I know that the short distance shots are often more technically difficult, but I just cannot see enough of those miles and miles of football flying through the air, with fans in the background and then the ball lands in the net and crowds are screaming, players celebrating…..ooooh my favourite type of a thriller

  122. MickyDidIt89 says:


    “It still amazes me how quickly you can knock one out. Did you used to be a journalist?”

    Which part of that statement would you like me to address first? 🙂

    Well, as for part two, you obviously haven’t read today’s!!! But no, I was never a journalist, only a Sea Lion Trainer and a Long Stop.

  123. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Guten Tag Evonne und LB.

    Do you speak German. If so, how do you start a letter. I put “Dear Mr Whatnot” into Word Translate, and out pops “Lieber Herr Whatnotten”

    Is that correct, as it sounds a bit like “What Ho Darling” to me.

  124. Evönne says:

    Herr Didit – my German is far too rusty and write letters, but I found this for you

    In essence, you would either say ‘Lieber Whatnot-first-name’ or ‘Sehr geehrter Herr Whatnot-surname’

    Kels is your man

  125. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Brilliant, Evonne, thanks.

    I owe you one, if you know what I mean 🙂

  126. Räsp says:

    Morning all,

    I picked my son up from Stansted at 11:30 last night and it was swamped with burly, shaven headed, semi-inebriated Poles …. not a pretty sight, and I’m going to the game this evening 😦

  127. Räsp says:

    On that note, I’m pleased to announce that we have a …….

    ….. New post ……..

  128. andrea friel says:

    if Louis saurez is too ugly for RM,rooney’s got no chance either. So the top tip to AW is buy only weird looking,badly behaved canibals with a rape conviction if you want them for a long stop. Oh and beer glasses in frozen pigeon tears will be better…don’t want the Spaniards thinking they are chic champagne types. As for the diamond encrusted chair give it to alex song ,he’ll be more comfortable.

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