Dear Arsène,
DidIt here again. Couple of things.
Now I realize that you and I are not natural Bedfellows, what with my rather gung-ho and somewhat cavalier attitude to life, but nevertheless, I still feel that you may enjoy more of my footballing analysis and insight.
Thing is this, and my first topic for today, your positional awareness with regards to the left side attacking slot leaves quite a lot to be desired. It is, Arsène, this habit of yours in sticking the wrong players out there. Having discussed this issue with you before, I was going to let things lie. That was, Arsène , until you dropped your most recent bomb.
You crack open the kitty, and splash out 40 Million pounds on Mesut Ozil. Great so far. Then the bomb. You stick the poor fellow out wide. Not 4 million, Arsene, 40 million, and you play him out of position! 40 Mill may be sloshing about your petty cash tin, but to us normal folk, that’s a lot of milk. Let’s get some perspective on that, shall we? It’s the equivalent of about 1,000 pints of milk for every day of an eighty year life! “Respect Value”, I say, or have you completely lost the plot, Arsène ?
You see, it’s not the first time you’ve done this, is it, Arsène? No, it isn’t. Bendy, Chamakh, Podolski, Ramsey, and now Ozil. Are you mad? What’s going on?
You know what, I’ve had a thought and there’s sod all you can do about it. Very soon, both Santi and Mesut are going to be up for selection at the same time, and you know damn well that they both start.
Here’s the really funny bit, Arsène, you can’t stick both out wide. Ha ha ha. So what’s the plan then?
Even that Lunatic LB had a brilliant idea yesterday, and that was sticking Mesut centre top. Lateral thinking. Lateral thinking. This idea of his ties in nicely with the second point I wanted us to discuss with you, Arsène.
Nicholas Bendtner. Name ring a bell?
We really do need to consider our options in terms of protecting Big ‘Ol, and I cannot help thinking that our Nic is the most similar kind of player that would bring as little disruption to our style as possible. Never really gave him much time through the middle, did we? Just as I kept saying last term regarding Big ‘Ol: “Along the ground. Ball to feet”. He may be better than we think.
Thing is ,Arsène , what are we going to do about his fitness and more importantly, his attitude?
Bribery springs to mind. He’s one of those poofy sorts of blokes that like jewellery, so there’s an option right there. Perhaps a more ruthless approach, like the use of electricity, I don’t know, but I’d certainly like to hear your thoughts.
My biggest single problem with you, Arsène , is that while I feel perfectly qualified to share advice on tactics and whatnot with you, I do have to take into account your recent bloody results:
WWWWWDWDWWWLWWWWW and bloody W again!
Let’s be clear about one thing, the sooner you start listening to Bedfellows like me and actually take on board our advice, the better, and then together we can eliminate these draws and losses forever.
Sagely words I’m sure you’d agree. Perhaps send that Gazidis bloke down to Smiths and buy a new folder. You could then put a sticky label on it and ink words like “DidIt Do’s and DidIt Do Not’s” or something.
So, in the meantime, I say, “Sod it, over to you, Arsène ”.
I remain, you obedient servant.
DidIt, M.
Arsenal News 24/7
arsenalarsenal.net 
Torturing Bendy and the Left Flank Dilemma.
🙂
Hi Micky.
I thought it was Wilshere who started in the left wing spot (nominally) rather than the umlaut-ed one. Or is that ‘The Öne’?
I think Ozil would fit perfectly with Cazorla playing left because as we’ve seen (and why you got confused :P) Ozil tends to drift wide to find space. At Madrid this was mostly towards the right, but that might be because he just wanted to stay away from Cristina who inhabited the left. Cazorla (or even Podolski) both tend to drift inside and this interchange between the left winger and the AM, especially with the creativity (and finishing of Poldi) that they possess, could be just the key to re-establish our left wing to the days of Henry-Pires, with Gibbs forming the triumvirate, a la Cashley. This would the make Walcott a sort of Ljungberg, cutting inside with well timed runs to score.
Of course Ozil is more Bergkamp than Henry, and Giroud, for all his capabilities, is neither , and that is probably where we need a player to help our attack. Suarez could have been it, seeing as he is capable of being both a scorer and a provider, but that ship might have sailed. Rooney likewise. (Both are players that I don’t really like) I wonder if we’re going to go for someone like Lewandowski or Llorente, who are good players, but similar to Giroud, or if we can get another type of striker. Having seen Aubemeyang for Dortmund, I have a feeling we might have missed a trick there. But no matter. Hopefully the players can stay fit long enough, and on that note, I really liked the suggestion yesterday (was it GIE?) of playing our lesser lights against Stoke, and then bringing on Walcott and Giroud later in the day. That won’t happen though.
Harvest moon yesterday, hence LB’s howling.
Tongue in cheek! Gazidis would be Gazidas to mirror the blogger you mock though…and Cazorla would be Carzola. Some unqualified nitwits do have the balls to think they have the knowhow to lecture a 3 time PL winning manager. Criticism needs to be made in a constructive and measured way and not in an anti club way like some dumb bloggers express it.
Your Honour, I give you heat maps for Wilshere and Özil versus Sunderland.
Who, in your learned opinion, played left wing? 🙂
Jack heat map
http://twitpic.com/de9v74/full
Mesut heat map
http://twitpic.com/de9vbz/full
I didn’t realise any specific blogger was being mocked and I’d be amazed if DidIt did, too.
I believe our formation is a bit like freeform jazz.
As long as a square or triangle shape is being created somewhere on the pitch, we are good to go.
Yup, freeform jazz, that about captures it.
We are a post-winger team. The wide-ish players are mobile inside-forwards really.
I do love micky’s style, even if I don’t agree with all of it! Though electrocuting Bendy is a valid suggestion, I hope Wenger has taken note. In fact, since NB52 is doing his fitness training/pie-eating competition (delete as appropriate) in Copenhagen, we could subcontract the electrocuting service to Raddy.
LB’s brilliant idea? I think not, in our Oh-No-We’re-Too-Reliant-On-Big-Olly angst, plenty of us pointed to the False Nine idea. Perhaps it was a duff suggestion, but if the good looking one were to get crocked, it would certainly be a way of playing to our strengths. (Sorry LB, didn’t really want to steal your thunder.)
The write of this article is a typical boo-boy, the formation that Wenger plays allows the Wilshere and Ozil to have a free roll in midfield the same as Theo being allowed to push forward and across more central. And you really thing Wenger would listen to people like you, your derraged just another pub pundit if you was in his position I could guarantee I club would not exist. IN WENGER WE TRUST.
hey folks…DidIt, chas, Evonne, Big Raddy, LB, micky, Peaches, GoonerB, Glic and the rest (apologies for the names I missed). I’ve followed you guys for years silently and its always fun to listen (consigning imaginary voices at times) to you all discuss and squabble and laugh at tiny-totts (not so much fun when you collectively pull-your-hairs-out, point fingers etc: after a lost game) But watching from afar for so long and loving it, I thought maybe I should join the community that I’ve so closely followed. Thus, here I am. I hope I’ll get to know everyone here better in coming days and get to talk all things Arsenal (where I live currently, Delaware, US, people barely follow football let alone Arsenal). So, hoping for connected-ness to the fellow fans of The-Greatest-Club-The-World-Has-Ever-Seen; COYG 🙂
P.S: Great post, DidIt.
26
I don’t agree with much of it either, but then, I’m not that idiot DidIt 🙂
He’s a nitwit and a boo-boy. Nothing more.
John Cleese on the European Reaction to Syria
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels..
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.
Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person
And as a final thought – Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are
getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray.
Welcome back to 430 BC.
Life is too short…
dhakka09 – Hi, great to have your company, as you already know us you’ll fit right in 😉
Hilarious Micky, I love your style, take no notice of Nathan, clearly he’s had a humour by-pass.
Freeform jazz – that’s our style 😆
Do we need a widget for the pub? I’ll see if I can find it or I’ll ask Rasp to do it …….
thanks peaches, I sure do hope so (barring any fabled adjustment period for new-signing) On a side note, I’m not sure if Arsene will find time to go over this post by DidIt as he must already be busy scouting thick dossiers of players going to be out of contract by the end of this season 😉
Morning all and a fine post Micky.
Nathan and Alex, I imagine that you haven’t been regular readers of A.A and have popped on today on a whim. If you followed the posts and bloggers on here regularly you would realise that Mickydidit89 is a regular and far from anti Arsenal anti Wenger chap.
I don’t wish to be condescending and point out what is reasonably obvious to me, but my suggestion would be to read it again and think along the lines of satire, and you will probably then get it.
Interesting that you both come across as pro-club pro-Wenger chaps and have found your way to one of the sites that chiefly champions the club and Wenger but haven’t realised it.
dhakka09, great to have new contributors on this site and I am honoured that i was one of the ones you remembered. I hope you perhaps remembered me from a positive aspect, because that is not normally why people remember me (according to my wife). I hope all is well and dandy in Delaware.
dhakka, I’m out of contract at the end of this season and have often been described as a thick dosser. Maybe I am being closely monitored. It would explain all those people I keep seeing in tracksuits following me.
GoonerB, you are one of the funniest chaps around here and my impression of you has always been that of a top-top-top quality contributor. About being followed by Arsene’s scouts, if you aren’t injury-prone, your chances are slim to none. Quick, grab a bucket and bang your head with it (you can sport a Rooney-isque band later), scouts will be impressed then.
Thank you didit, it’s writers like you Rocky and Raddy that remind me why I continue to blog.
Your writing helps me blot out most of the other inane nonsense that is written nay scribbled, thank you once again.
The John Cleese bit may be old hat to some of you but today was the first time that I had read it.
dhakka09,
A big welcome from me to the site.
Your gravatar is the dogs doodahs, especially in the recent comment bit to the right of this comment. ————————>
I want to know how dhakka got a photo of me to use as his gravatar.
There is an uncanny resemblance.
Nice one Micky, but Arsene aint going to listen to you or no one.
That’s what I like about Arsene, he don’t care about what others think and takes no shit. I tried that with the Mrs the other day “Not listening any more and I take no shit”.
I got a mop full in the face and now my nose looks queer.
I don’t know how Arsene does it, the mans a genius.
Undeterred with my previous experience, I tried Arsenes approach with a bailiff who had sneaked in catching me unaware as i watched family fortunes. “I don’t care about that warrant and I take no shit”
I now have no furniture and have to watch family fortunes by peering through the neighbours window.
Morning Terry. I suppose on the plus side at least you now have a better reason (of the non-perverted variety) to look through your neighbours window. Every cloud……
lol Chas, I took it off the internet absent any copyright consent of the owner/artist. If it is a portrait of GoonerB, then maybe he should draw his bedroom curtains and shut shower-room ventilators. Paparazzis have been lurking and posting his pictures all over the internet. I bear no responsibility for his invasion of privacy.
Hi GB. Not really. They look like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. The only problem is that he looks like Ginger and she looks like Fred Astaire. hahaha
I told you dhakka, I am being scouted.
Maybe you should try your neighbours on the other side Terry.
Super post Mr DidIt. Arsene phoned me after he’d read it and asked my advice, apparently he thinks it is a great idea but now you’ve put it in writing her can’t adopt it. Apparently he fancies a 4:2:4 formation if Ollie needs a rest where the front 4 can basically go anywhere and do anything – very confusing for the opposition.
TMHT,
Your posts never fail to bring a smile to my face – now I look queer!
Welcome dhakka09, why wait so long? 🙂
hey Rasp (still haven’t mastered the umlaut, my laptop seems impervious to alt+number method), let’s just say I was too shy and unsure of what I’d say given how little I manage to constructively put my thoughts into words. Also, I’ve always been a staunch Arsene supporter and the negative vibe around the web was depressing to say the least (I know, this blog has refrained from such which is why I love it). With sunshine looking likely to return to Emirates, it didn’t feel quite right to stay indoors looking at you all basking in your umlaut-ed happiness and not share a little bit of it. Call me selfish 🙂
Ok dhakka, welcome aboard. We expect at least 1 comment a day from you and it is only a matter of time before I or peaches start nagging you to write a post for the site. There is no going back now 😛
I’m here most of the days already anyway, Rasp. The only difference is I’d be visible from now on. About writing posts part, please don’t set up high expectations already for an inevitable fall, Rasp. I thought you were above the journalistic stunts embraced by the likes of Daily Fail 😛
Very brief visit.
Thanks all for defending that idiot cousin of mine, Didit.M. Firm words will be had, I can assure you.
dhakka09
Welcome.
You say: “unsure of what I’d say given how little I manage to constructively put my thoughts into words”..to this I say “piffle. Just look at today. Rasp is a tart and will publish any old crap”
Chas
Heat Maps!!! Just to highlight my inaccuracies. Ha! The post was written having never seen Ozil play due to technical failings at this end, so how the hell was I know to know whence he wandered? Anyway, as you well know, the detail is irrelevant to me. 🙂
Must potter off now.
Oh, and a word to those I upset.
Sorrrrrrrrrryyyy 🙂
Was it the jewellery line that did it? I happen to like the stuff on Punks, Pirates and Pretty Ladies if that helps 🙂
😆 micky , very true
Thanks for a very entertaining read Micky.
dhakka
Are you anywhere near Bethany Beach?
I’m near Wilmington LB, the place is called New Castle (lol, no geordies here though). Bethany Beach is about 2 hrs drive away. May I ask why Bethany Beach?
Micky,
I thought it was funny that you said Mesut played on the left, Shard said Jack and the heatmaps suggested neither!
After a very negative summer (apart from Ozil), I am hoping that after the great results so far, the atmosphere on Sunday will be confident and excited and the team picks up on it as a sign that we are believing in them again rather than waiting for them to mess up.
We have yet to face the top teams yet so the boys are going to need all the help they can get especially with all the injuries.
If we can get that positive vibe going again like the good old days, then who knows what we could do. Especially if Mr Wenger makes a couple more decent signings in January.
PS. I don’t think it matters where Ozil plays his impact is going to be enormous, Giroud,Theo,Podolski should all be like kids at Christmas right now.
chas
I also used the word ‘nominally’. 🙂
Evonne is that you?
dhakka
Bethany Beach: I have relatives who own a beach house there, we could have watched a game together. I have enjoyed your comments today.
Ozil is most certainly one of AW’s best signings it rates up there with Henry and Vieira, I hope he is just as successful as they were.
I still have this awful feeling that he will be hacked to pieces by the heavy artillery in the EPL and have to hope that he is nimble enough to avoid most of the hacking thugs. It goes without saying that as an Arsenal player he will get no protection from the referee’s.
Frankly I’m more excited about our possibilities with this squad than I have been since since AW’s glory years, or the majority of all other seasons I’ve watched. At the bare minimum it will be fantastic football to watch.
Didit. Superb work. Every word a winner – no sensible nonsense, just total waffle. Just what we expect from your fine self.
In light of which …. did you know it is 45 years ago this week that The Beatles Hey Jude was released!
Spot on GN5
This is a very exciting time to be an Arsenal fan.
There is something very satisfying watching a Club and team develop, overcoming criticism and scepticism on the way.
The minimum is great football and the maximum has no limits.
The Clubs policy and steadfastness over the last decade has given us a gift. A club that we can still be proud of and a potential, with the right management and fortune, able to compete for the top prizes in domestic and European football.
Dhakkar09. Marvellous news that you have overcome your reticence and joined us at the Arsenal Arsenal Tavern.
The only thing I know about Delaware is that she wore a brand new jersey 😀 (Perry Como joke)
“I tried that with the Mrs the other day “Not listening any more and I take no shit”.
I got a mop full in the face and now my nose looks queer.”
There is only one Terry Mancini’s Hair Transplant,
One Terry Mancini’s Hair Transplant
Only one Terry Mancini’s Hair Transplant
etc etc etc
Shard,
I had realised that you said both “started” and “nominally”. 🙂
Contrary to what Mr. DidIt esquire implied, I wasn’t trying to highlight any inaccuracies, but was simply attempting to illuminate the discussion.
Haha, take a look at Bendy in the back row.
Definitely not expecting electrodes to the nads. 🙂
chas. I think the pic is taken post-electrical treatment.
Damn. Can’t download it!!
Top quality Micky – had me fair spluttering over me cornflakes.
Who needs the Arsenal Gent when we’ve got the Didit?
This Sunday I shall be a very proud man, taking my daughter to her first ever game.
Shes 16 and only recently expressed an interest in the Gunners.
Of course i am delighted, but i cant help but be suspicious. What does she want? If its money, she knows ime skint. Her mum takes it all. Can it be that she has met a boy and she is trying to impress him? I hope not, I l already have a problem with my eldests boyfriend. When there on holiday I hope the sharks get him.
But apart from a bit of paranoia, I am very happy. hahaha
I really enjoy your daily comment Terry, long may they continue.
BR,
Choose a size that fits the screen then option 1 here
http://www.printscreenmac.com/
Terry,
Your daily excerpts remind me of a book by Hunter S Thompson.
What was it called again?
hmmmmmmmmm………
Got it.
Fear and Loathing in Bethnal Green.
Mesut looks like he just baked a bad one and Jack is suffering the consequences.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/35115236@N03/9838863185/
Aaron is obviously holding his breath and Tomáš is still tittering at the noise.
FOYS
http://www.flickr.com/photos/35115236@N03/9815488773/
German core
Highlights of the day:
“The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels.”
Terry’s 12.26pm (Mrs 26 thought it was funny too).
Terry wishing the sharks get his daughter’s boyfriend – had me spluttering food over the keyboard.
But most of all GN5’s: “I’m more excited about our possibilities with this squad than I have been since since AW’s glory years, or the majority of all other seasons I’ve watched. At the bare minimum it will be fantastic football to watch.” Brilliant.
Really enjoyed the John Cleese letter
Some great funny stuff today.
Didit really set the tone with his Post and everyone has picked it up.
Love the Cleese stuff.
And the Travails and Triumphs of Terry the Goon deserves to be a blog in its own right.
Chas’s “baked a nasty one” pic 🙂
Welcome Dhakka (no, not offended at all, honest). If you see a huge American with a scarlet posterior bumbling around, tell him to post a comment.
Here’s a real tasty one…………….
If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
John Cleese
The last John Cleese for today.
An old couple are sitting in a pub when the husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’
Yes, she says, ‘I remember it well.’
OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?’
Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!’
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation
and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both
collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know..
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,’ Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?’
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
‘Fifty years ago that wasn’t an electric fence.
Gn5 🙂
😀
Rob @ 2:50 – yes, that’s me, absolutely
DidIt M – the funniest footballing piece I’ve read, ever. Absolutely fabolous!! I am not sure how that lun LB feels about it, but i love it, lots of ROLFs
I view today’s post and my name check with the good humour in which it was certainly written.
LB – I wouldn’t be so sure, nasty piece of work that DidIt, watch him!
Hey fellas, afternoon. Apparently Wilshere is not the best singer in the World and Daily Fail are having a go at him, mehh, where do they get their journalism degree from? Lithuania?
I think all open letters should be like this Micky 🙂
Talking of open letters it’s all gone quiet over there in Red and White Holdings hasn’t it?
I do hope Alfygun is right about a restoration of belief in the team, not that I think the support should require it before raising the roof for those on the pitch but every little helps as they say.
I think it was GoonerB who said yesterday that it is surprising how many fans expect the opposition to be nowhere near our goal for any second of a game, I share this view, every game will ebb and flow it’s about how you control it, and this is the one area I think the fans in the ground could improve. When the Spuds came the fans played a huge part in helping the team, especially towards the end of the game, would be good if we the fans responded to pressure from any team in the same way.
What a pity, missed all the fun today. Great job, DidIt and everyone!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhD4goJsfnk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw0XNyQ8PC0
Chas
Heat Maps, indeed.
Now look here Sunshine, step out of line and I’ll “heat map you”
Wouldn’t mind betting it would reveal some fairly unpalatable truths
Off to see today’s fixture list to find out where the ROLFINGLY funny losses may come
First stop, who are Chavs playing?
Mmmm, may have to wait until Totteringham visit Cardiff tomorrow.
Mind you, well worth waiting for.
DidIt M – UKIP conference is fun to watch too 🙂
Morning All,
I am looking forward to writing tomorrow’s post. Always a pleasure to write about Stoke
Raddy – now I have a dilemma – check Arsenal v Stoke stats or wait till tomorrow…….. too long to wait
Good morning all. I hope you are all well. Just thought I’d say hello early as I may not be around much today.
hello GoonerB 🙂
Hello GoonerB from me too 😉
………….. New Post ……………….
chanel 新作