Arsenal Arsenal Isometric Test: Don’t cheat! Be brutally honest about yourself!
The test is pretty accurate and it only takes a few minutes.
There are 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper. Record your letter answers to each question and then compare with the answer table.
1. When do you feel at your best?…
A) in the morning
B) during the afternoon and early evening
C) late at night
2. You usually walk?….
A) fairly fast, with long steps
B) fairly fast, with little steps
C) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
D) less fast, head down
E) very slowly
3. When talking to people you?…
A) stand with your arms folded
B) have your hands clasped
C) have one or both your hands on your hips
D) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
E) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with?..
A) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
B) your legs crossed
C) your legs stretched out or straight
D) one leg curled under you
5. Something really amuses you, you react with?…
A) big appreciative laugh
B) a laugh, but not a loud one
C) a quiet chuckle
D) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering you?…
A) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
B) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
C) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You’re working very hard, concentrating hard and you’re interrupted, you?…
A) welcome the break
B) feel extremely irritated
C) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colors do you like most….
A) Red or orange
B) black
C) yellow or light blue
D) green
E) dark blue or purple
F) white
G) brown or gray
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are…..
A) stretched out on your back
B) stretched out face down on your stomach
C) on your side, slightly curled
D) with your head on one arm
E) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are…
A) falling
B) fighting or struggling
C) searching for something or somebody
D) flying or floating
E) you usually have dreamless sleep
F) your dreams are always pleasant
SCORING POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e ) 1
10 (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up your total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS: Other bloggers see you as someone they should “handle with care.” You’re seen as vain, self-centred and extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you but don’t always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS: Fellow bloggers see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality, a natural leader who’s quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once, someone, who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your blogging company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who’s constantly the centre of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate and understanding; someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Other AAers see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted or talented but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who’s extremely loyal to friends you do make, and who expects the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn’t want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don’t exist. Some people think you’re boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren’t.
Right – now that you have worked out what your scores/attributes are, can you put fellow bloggers into categories where you think they belong?
Written by Red Arse
Arsenal News 24/7
arsenalarsenal.net 
first!
Good morning to you all,
Here’s an interesting snippet of news…Andrei Arshavin has pocketed £7,800 per minute played this season. That’s almost as much as some accountants get paid. 🙂
hahaha, i got 45 Redders.
I always knew i was a good bloke
“And its Terry Mancini, Terry Mancini Egotistical FC. Hes by the greatest Narcisist the world has ever seen”. hahaha
Mistake! Rob, Big Al will be sending the boys round, be afraid, be very afraid!
2nd……. Bchs !
…..mebbe not….. 31-40 is about right
48…………..i seriously thought the high number was going to label me a nutter! Instead i will show this to my other half and prove that I’m not that all bad………
Well, i should probably get some real work done.
I’d love to leave a reply, but I’m too shy shy.
Ha! I got 43 points, then I read what others thought of me and I thought ” How wrong you can be!!”. 😀
35 which is spot on
It took me awhile to add up, by using the fingers of one hand to get 44 points, as I was holding my Mother-in-Laws head under the bath water with the other hand !. Obviously, she didn`t ( past tence ) appreciate what a top geezer I am !.
38… What more can I say?
Nice one Redders, I got 46 but I’m probably lying to myself 😆
44 RA. Good idea. 51-60 after an Arsenal loss though. But a fly kick to the chops is normal if someone annoys you after a bad loss right???
I got 40, RA.
I wish I was a 41 to 50er.
I doubt anyone will get over 50 or under 31. Now if the test was done at LG, that’s a different matter.
OVER 60 POINTS: Other bloggers see you as a complete and utter ******. You’re seen as vain, self-centred and extremely sure of your own ridiculous opinions. Others may admire you (other Arsenal-hating nutters), wishing they could be more like you but won’t ever trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you because you don’t really exist, except in cyber space.
TERRY MANCINI MUFF TRANSPLANT, you are indeed a top geezer and thank TERRY TICKLE TACKLE TICKETS for the Reading tickets !.
I can tell you without doing the test that I am mad 🙂 let’s check how accurate you are…..
No worries Ian, will sort out some for next season to. Have to get Redders and TA to a game as well.
“And its evo evo vonne, evo evo vonne FC, by far the maddest AAer, but destined to fall in love with narcistic Terry when she meets him, the world has ever seen” hahaha
Morning Peoples, 🙂
I find when I take isometric tests that I usually flatter myself, but as I also know, better than anyone, that I am a lying b*stard, I deduct 50 per cent and that is usually about right.
So for me 30 points.
Wait a minute, I don’t mean I have to knock 50% off that score — erm, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea and think I originally got 60 either! Well, OK, I did, but I think I undermarked myself and should have got 70 or higher, but modesty prevailed, so I didn’t fiddle the marks awarded part. 😳
Nice one TRANSPLANT, but lets not get too familiar…..you can call me Mr Face..TRANSPLANT……..thats not Mr Face TRANSPLANT…..It`s Mr Face !. Although I can understand you UMF`s wanting my face as a TRANSPLANT….`cos it`s f**king gorgeous !. hahaha
boring 35 😦
Most AAers are between 40-60 with DidIt and your good self leading the way. Chas on a weekday is a sensible 20-40; on his way to a game with a few drinks inside him he turns into a sex obssesive 50-60
Terry and Evonne — what a magic couple they would make! 😀
Chas as you are a goodie, and very well travelled, I altered your score by one, and you can now call yourself a 41er. 😀
Evonne @ 11:10,
Well that is very insightful, Chas a sex obsessed 51 – 60.
Is that good or bad? 😀
Listen Stretch…….e va va vonne….is only going to fall for someone as mad as herself, but also wickedly gorgeous !……now let me think….erm….who fits that mirror portrait ?. I`ll let you know as soon as I`ve caught myself in my daily self kiss chasey , it may be awhile as I`m playing hard to get with myself, plus I keep tripping over my Hampton !. hahaha
Redders, Evonne
One thing i noticed about chas is that he is one of the swiftest movers i have ever seen. A couple of weeks ago i was talking to him in the Tavern when i looked over the other side and noticed he was indulging in conversation with Rasp and Peaches.
Two chas, how can this be?? Then when i looked for him again he was gone from both places, and spotted at him near the bar region. hahaha
Dominic @ 10:06,
That qualifies as (√♀ + ☺ – ♪^23)/whatever is left over = 2♥
And that makes you a clear winner, so far! 😀
Are you chalanging me to a face off face? hahaha
So far, the only one who has answered part deux of the test has been Evonne!
Terry has made a reference to Swift Chas, but that doesn’t count, so come on, who do you think fits into which category — and remember only to insult someone on a different continent, or who is much, much smaller than you!! 😀
50!
Chas @ 10:46,
That is a perfect summary of the result of a similar isometric quiz elsewhere! 😀
Shard baby, where have you been? 😀
Anyway, 50 my ass, there is an obligatory 50% deduction for self aggrandisement!! 🙂
Busy busy time RA. Except when I’m ‘defending fascism’ (long story)
What, me? Manipulate scores in my favour? Who do you think I am? A bookie? Mike Dean? Sorry I don’t meet your perception of where I should figure in your own test, but you’re not taking my half century away. At best, I’ll allow you to make me a 49er 🙂
You can stick that one point in the woodpecker’s hole 🙂
60…..= Ian Ure Face
51…..= Terry Mancini
46…..= VCC 😉
40……= Rasp
30…..= Oz
20…..= Gooner Lost In Cornwall
Ahermmm….. Rasp 46 😕
Is that a league table of the most deluded? 😆
Rasp……..yep 😉 🙂
Afternoon all, well that is a departure from the norm my dear Redders, and well done for cooking up something left of centre.
My own score was 43 yet there were some questions none of the answers were that close to me for, for example, my dreams are a mixture of some of the options available.
There are a few people here I would put in the 51-60 category other than the obvious one – he of the long, sermonising one note/message comments, however I don’t want to say anything further as that would be too judgemental – a thing I accuse the old ball and chain of being.
36? should i feel bad about that…… naah i’m in some good company
Kelsey
Mayor of the Woolwich
Chas
Evonne
Bet we all passed our driving tests second time round too!???
Sorry Redders. I know the exercise of this little test is for us to pigeon hole ( Stretches only current form of penetration ! ) other gooners into certain psychological profiles, but sorry mate, I hardly know anybody and it would not be fair to type cast certain individuals with fear of erupting some evil deep lying wrath that is lying subconsciously in their being !.
Although, I think it would have been better to just have had six short definitions ranging from :
Under 21 points : Sad Bastard….to…..Over 60 points : Egotistical Bond Villain. With a medium being an example of VCC and his favourite aftershave…….Old C**t !. hahaha
In moderation again !. Who is it this time ?. There`s more moderators on here than Bloggers !. hahaha
RA
Please believe me when I say that I was doing really rather well.
Then came what I think was little more than a minor incident. The umpire had a different take on events, referring to it as a brawl.
Next up was the points deductions.
-5 was my final score. Do I receive a title or a small prize of any kind?
Apologies IUF, I don’t know why that went into mod (but then I haven’t read it 😛 ) any way, you’ve been let loose
IUF it was the ** that got you moderated – its automatic, no human action involved
Thanks Rasp. I`ll remember them starry things next time and put a 🙂 🙂 there instead !. 🙂
READ ALL ABOUT IT!
Rob Lucchi scores 99.9% !!!
Morning RA.
Well; that was real change of pace, and one that was welcome as, like most blogs, the dialogue of late has become boringly circular and very repetitious – so thank you for a little respite.
I scored myself a 38, but like most tests of this type there are few questions that give one the ideal answer and some in some cases none at all, however 38 is where I feel I belong.
As far as to where other bloggers fit, I feel it’s best for them to let us know by giving us their score.
I guess you are all beginning to realise the second part of the quiz is really difficult, so Evonne is the winner by default!!
In the case of the Glic Monster, and Ian Ure, there has been a show of unexpected restraint, so I shall have to tell everyone, on his behalf, that he loves all of you, and that puts you all into the 60+ socket.
Umm — Going by the scoring as per the isometric test, that’s fine — going by the scoring system of the Glicster’s alter ego, Ian Ure – dohhhh.
Under 21 points = Sad Bastard … to .. Over 60 points = Egotistical Bond Villain.
Looks like we have all got the same part in the next James Bond film!! 😀
Thanks for keeping tabs, VCC, that is useful and we can have a look this evening at how many fibbers there are. 😀
Correct Redders. I for one, am currently sitting at my all seeing monitors stroking a pussy !. Mwahahahahaha
” I dont want you to talk Mr Red Arse Bond….I want you to dye….your Dic..tionary Red and White ! “.
Ian Ure Face ….(aka ?) 🙂
Slap bang on 40 points. Having read the descriptions I would have thought I would have come in the 20-30 area.
To answer RA the second question
60+ Crumpets I can’t think of anyone
51-60 LB, Rasp, VCC and Evonne
41-50 Rocky, Raddy, Chas, 26May and RedArse
31-40 Kelsey, GN5, Peaches
OK, time for me to ‘fess up. [You appreciate that I filched the isometric test from one of my company team bonding schemes!] 🙂
I have not yet taken the test myself so here goes;
1. B
2. A
3. D
4. B
5. C
6. B
7. C
8. C
9. B
10. D
OK. This could be acutely embarrassing, and my life as a blogger could end in horrible fashion, if these are crap choices!! 😳
Off to look!
so Spectrum is a night owl, sits with his legs crossed but falls asleep lying on his back. He smiles sheepishly and likes colour black
RA – is this a real test or have you made it all up.
DidIt – 5 my arse. You got a minimum of 55 🙂
Shoot, I have cast the quotients and it comes to 50 [Just read GIE’s summary and I am impressed with him — I think] I had better check what it means before I get to pleased with myself — although there is no “right” answer.
Well, that summary does not sound like me at all!
GiE ..2:03…..Thank you for mixing me with such Elite company. I’m honoured. 🙂
I think GIE comes into the specialist category of Ex Mad Goalies…..in saying Ex, that means he`s an Ex Goalie….not Ex Mad……they never lose the Madness !. hahaha
Gadzooks, now that I am looking at the second part of the quiz, I find that with my limited knowledge of all you bloggeroonies. I can discount all but 3 categories.
51 — 60 = CharyB, Glic [exciting, volatile, impulsive]
41 — 50 = Rasp, TA, Rock-a-lot, Micky, Chas, Shard, 26M, Terry, Norfolk [charming, amusing, practical]
31 — 40 = GN5, Peaches, GIE, Evonne, VCC, Jonathan [sensible, clever, modest]
N.B.
— Each person can have cross category attributes, of course – they are not mutually exclusive.
— If I have not named you it’s because I am still thinking! 🙂
Off to do my daily mega sudoku it has the numbers 1-9 and letters A-G, they can be real mind benders.
Sorry Redders, but you seem to have left out….charming, amusing, practical, sensible, clever and especially modest out of that handsome bastardos glic bracket !. hahaha
Ure Ian My Face,
I don’t know what happened with that Glic category — does he practise hypnotism by blog? 🙂
Hi GN5, 🙂
I do the Times Sodoku most days, (but, don’t let on, — the multi-dimensional ones they put up on Saturdays often take me far more time than I like to admit to.) 🙂 A lot more time!
Enjoy!
Haha Redders – great idea for a bit of fun.
I came out as a 63 – which told me something very important about myself: namely, that I can’t add up.
When I re-checked it was lower – but not in the category where you have kindly placed me 🙂
51-60 – Crumpets, Stringfellow (remember him!), Big Al
41-50 – Rasp, Redders, GiE, Gn5, Merry Terry, Glicster, evonne, NG, VCC, Total, micky, jnyc, oz
31-40 – dandan, kelsey, peaches, Rob L, manthan, GoonerB, jonathan, chas
Anyone I’ve forgotten goes in the “Under 21 Points” category 🙂
The “Under 21 Points” category, Rocks…..is that like some Next Gen series ?
Exactly IUF
RA I think I should stress I was applying the categories to blog personas, I think it’s quite revealing when you meet people in person how much of a different character they can be when our from behind the keyboard.
Take Rasp for example, I put him in the 51-60 as a blogger mainly because of his sometimes short and to the point contradictory standpoint, but in person I would put him in the 31-40 or 41-50.
GM would probably be in the 51-60 as a blogger too, but again lower in the real life categories.
That is interesting, Rocky.
You, Rasp, GIE, Micky and GN5 have obviously got leadership qualities in your ‘real’ lives, which could/would change the category I rather arbitrarily placed you guys in, but keeping things to the limited blog world, where I know you all from, it was interesting to note the answers that you each volunteered, conformed in large part to how each of you comes across to me on the blog.
I know I am repeating myself, but there is no ‘top’ or ‘bottom’ in this type of isometric test, just an arms length self assessment. 🙂
Chary on the other hand is 60+ on both counts 😀
GIE – @ 3:14,
Snap! 😀
Damn! I forgot GM.
Definitely a 41-50
Redders
My tally was 39 – which I suppose puts me “on the cusp”, so you were almost right 🙂
I chuckled at your comment, GIE, about each person being very different in ‘real’ life when compared to their blog persona.
With the caveat that I, obviously, do not know how each of you see me, but if it is anywhere like, brash, irritating, impatient, introverted-extrovert, (? 🙂 ) pain in the arsenal, then I am not too different in real life to how I appear on the blog!! 😀
Rocky,
I would have liked to see what GM’s score would have been if he had taken the test. Anyway, he is a definite 60+ to your correspondent. 🙂
Same too, for GoonerB Good [where he?], I am of the view that he is an unflappable, smart and self deprecating dude, so that would make him a sure fire ‘sensible, clever and modest’ category type of guy. 🙂
You do realize that no one will speak to me after this! 😳
No Rocky, I am a respectable 35, there. I sleep on my side, like green and laugh out loudly. I sit with my legs stretched out and am furious when interrupted.
Back to footy lads – BM need one goal difference to win the Catalans; I hope they get it
Rock,
Shard and I were both 50s, but whereas he is definitely on the cusp (pretending to be busy), I am not sure I saw myself in any of the categories listed.
Trying to think back to my various personnel training courses, I have a suspicion that only the scores themselves were of interest to the Human Resources/Management guys.
There were no negative categories, as such, because that would be a downer, I suppose, though I remember in my younger days being described, with a knowing chuckle to soften the blow, as being ‘a character’, or, ‘you do not seem to have the profile we expect in an accountant’, or, on one occasion, ‘don’t sit looking out the window, it’s important to finish the task you have been set’.
Did not go down well when I said I had completed it already, and I was just admiring the Accounts Manageress walking to the IT Unit while I was waiting!! 😀
Yep – add cocky smart arse to the list!! 🙂
Well, no surprise here. Apparently I’m volatile and impulsive, but apparently people can actually enjoy my company and “emotional” leadership. Although, it seems that I’m valued more for my excitement over my intelligence (if the latter is valued at all hahaha)!
By the way Redders, this system is flawed. There should be an additional category distinguished as “perfection” and I clearly would be classified in that group ;).
Me, a 60+ Redders/GiE ? I’m so mild mannered and contemplative I thought 🙂
Hi HH, 🙂
I should have added the extra words to that category for you ‘volatile, impulsive and wields a mean hockey stick’!!
Perfect category choice! 😀
What was your score — or were you cheating?
That says it all then Redders, so these sort of tests are the brain child of the HR departments, just a way of trying to justify their well paid comfy jobs with silly title. I was going for a job once and I did not get on with the HR chap, he was bug ugly and threatened by my modest gorgeousness ! hahaha. He gave me all these stupid poncey questions blah blah blah, one was…..” What makes you get up in the morning ? “….obviously he was expecting some phillosphical answer !, so I said….” The alarm clock ! “.
I left him with one thoughtfull question of my own, I said….” Can you draw or paint artistically ? “, he said, ” no “, I said, ” well, I can, but I bet you could write a better written theory on it ! “. Question is, ” who would a person want to paint a picture, me who can paint or you who can talk and write about it ? “.
RA, my score was a 53, though your assumption that I was cheating seems to be justified; since I apparently am quick to make decisions, but not always the right ones 😉
HH,
I have already had representations from the Glic Monster demanding that he and his imaginary friend Ian Ure should have a special ‘mirror’ mention. ‘The Cracked Glass’ sprang to mind! 😀
Perfection, eh? No, no – You, Glic and CharyB fit perfectly into the 60+ band, but your hockey stick will come in handy!! 🙂
Although, I didn’t really have an answer for 3 and just chose one of the choices, since I’m usually moving my hands in some gesture when I talk.
RA, don’t lump me into the same category as that miscreant Glic. He’s probably staring at and admiring his Isco tattooed todger right now. If anything, he wants a category for himself “Iscoesque” for the clinically and obsessively insane!
Glic, you are a true philosopher!!
The art of philosophy, it seems to me, is to come out with some sparkling thought that leaves the listener stunned with incredulous incomprehension, or thinking, ‘what the f*ck?’ and you seem to have mastered both disciplines! 😀
Shush, HH, I was just calming him down, before he went all philosophical on me! Now look what you’ve done!! 🙂
Anyway, that was rather unkind of you – you know full well he could only get the ‘Is’ of Isco on his todger before running out of space! 😀
Yes, HH, but were you touching anyone at the time? I think the RCMP are looking for someone who fits your description!! 🙂
RA, what a laugh it would have been had he put “REUS” on his todger and a Dutch girl were to see it!
RA, I do not touch other people incessantly you presumptuous bloke hahaha. If anything the RCMP is looking for the “little boy that is inside” of van Judas. Every time I hear that presser, I can’t help but laugh and wonder if ever thought through what he said before he did.
Yes, that was an unfortunate conjunction of words, HH. 🙂
Perhaps he meant ‘the little clog in me’ after TA kicked his arse!
HH, not that I speak Dutch, but even the Monster Glic would not have the nerve to tatoo ‘Giant’ on such a tiny tadpole! 🙂
Oi, I am here you know !. hahaha
Got a 50
Ah, yes, but who are you?
Is you is, or is you ain’t, the ‘head’ or the obverse?
Your 50, GoonerJ, puts you in some very good company — well that’s you, me and Shard — but I am not too sure about him!! 🙂
Hi
Sheep took the test and scored 48 odd as that’s my age.
Much love
Hi Sheepy, 🙂
Did you cheat? If not, you are obviously already running the prison Service. 🙂
Do you know Illybongani? (he has not been around for a while, unfortunately).
He is also gainfully employed by Her Maj in your line of work.
A really nice guy!
Speaking of which, does anyone know what has become of SlimGinger?
It’s all this married life and the chores you guys have to do!
Hi RA
The sheep didnt cheat .
Don’t know iilybongani sorry never heard of them ,I work for the NHS.
Redders
I reckon the person stuck for 23 hours in a cell will be the best to judge whether Illybongani is a nice guy !. hahaha
Afternoon all. 47 for me.
Interesting article from Today’s times by Matthew Syed
Margaret Thatcher was the most polarising Prime Minister of modern times. She divided the nation on everything from welfare to economics. Over the past 48 hours there has been a vigorous debate about her influence on football too.
Many have been condemnatory, regarding her proposals for such things as identity cards as feudal. Others have credited her, somewhat improbably, with eradicating the scourge of hooliganism. But one perception has united most observers: modern English football, for good or ill, is a game conducted in Thatcher’s free-market image.
Clubs are no longer hubs of the community but profit-maximising institutions (Manchester United floated in the aftermath of the reforms of the 1980s). Spectators have become consumers rather than fans. Television rights are no longer handled via the cosy BBC/ITV duopoly, but auctioned to multinationals bankrolled by subscription and advertising.
The free movement of labour means that players are recruited transnationally (rather than from the local area). The maximum wage is a relic, replaced by free bargaining that has generated stratospheric incomes. Global marketing has recruited audiences from across the planet, reflected in foreign rights income that continues to soar.
For many, this free-market revolution, aided by the Taylor report, has been a boon. Spiralling revenues have built new stadiums, transformed television coverage and allowed players to earn money unfettered by dubious restrictions. For others, it has had regrettable effects. The Thatcherite obsession with profits, it is said, has priced many fans out of the market and altered the game’s meaning. Such people hanker for a return to the past, or at least a different future.
But while this debate is a fascinating one, it is also, in key respects, profoundly misguided. The premise that unites both sides of the argument — namely, that modern football is founded on free-market principles — is simply untrue. Premier League clubs are not, as often asserted, animated by the profit motive. According to the Deloitte Report, many clubs lose money year after year, with little prospect of recouping their losses.
Even many of the top clubs self-consciously lose money. Chelsea and Manchester City lavished so much cash on transfers, wages and facilities that many began to fear for the competitive integrity of the league. Financial Fair Play was introduced not to stop clubs making profits, but to stop them raking up further losses. Arsène Wenger called it financial doping. It is the opposite, the very antithesis, of free-market economics.
On the other side of the equation, the same analysis applies. Those who watch football are not consumers in the sense that would have been recognised by Thatcher. Liverpool fans would not switch allegiance to Manchester United if the football was more attractive at Old Trafford or the meat pies tastier. Indeed, they could not. Fans are not the footloose consumers of economic theory — and the moment they begin to envision themselves as such, they would cease to be fans.
The Glazers (one of the ownership groups to have profit-focused aspirations) were mesmerised by this aspect of fandom. In a prospectus to market a bond issue in 2010, they boasted of the willingness of United’s fans to tolerate ever-spiralling prices. “We have been able to consistently increase match-day ticket prices for both general admission and seasonal hospitality seats at levels above the rate of inflation,” it read. Fans, they had realised, are captive to their loyalties.
In this sense, the exploitation between fans and many clubs is reciprocal. The basic motivation of both parties is identical: winning matches. Fans demand success from owners and get impatient when it doesn’t happen. Owners respond by ratcheting up ticket prices for fans in order to pay for it, and supplement this by pouring in their own cash, often supplemented by debt. The beneficiaries are players and agents who walk away with much of the loot.
When people say that football is obsessed with money, then, they are both right and wrong. Clubs are obsessed with revenues, not profits. They want money, not to line the pockets of shareholders, but to buy the results that fans crave, too. Free-market economics? It is not even close.
Fans attend matches predominantly for reasons of identity, tribalism and the power of shared experiences. These rituals and rites predate capitalism by thousands of years. Owners often become bound up in them, too. It is about anthropology rather than economics.
And this hints at a blind spot in Thatcherism. The Iron Lady was a great believer in individualism, arguing that self-reliance was the best guarantor of progress.
Many of her reforms were imperative, as the Labour Party slowly (too slowly) realised. But they missed a basic insight: no society succeeds through self-interest alone. At some level, Thatcher understood this. As a patriot, she must have recognised that there are tribal bonds that are vital for society, but which cannot be commoditised. During the Falklands conflict, for instance, military personnel did not put their lives on the line simply because they were paid a salary to do so. They were not mercenaries. Rather, they died, in large part, for their country. They were animated by a connection deeper than an economic one.
Football articulates the same lesson. When fans hug each other in the stands, travel the country en masse, and pay more for tickets than they can afford, they are evoking something that many on the Right had little time for in the 1980s. It is the idea that individuals yearn to be a part of something larger than themselves. That is why so many were offended by the idea, expressed by Thatcher, that there is “no such thing as society”.
Thatcherism left its mark on football, just as it did on society. Both have moved in the direction of free exchange, shorn of the restrictions of the postwar consensus.
But they do not embody the assumptions of free-market economics through and through. Look closely and you will see allegiances to larger ideals — to community, club, or nation — that shape behaviour every bit as much as incentives or profits. Football and society ignore these impulses at their peril.
Hi Dandan, 🙂
Not at all surprised by your score. Charming, amusing and well balanced sums you up to a tee!
That article was beautifully written, and though it skirts politics, it does highlight a truism that often escapes the more depressive and cynical blogger, and that is with a few exceptions, “Premier League clubs are not, as often asserted, animated by the profit motive. According to the Deloitte Report, many clubs lose money year after year, with little prospect of recouping their losses.”
At Arsenal, that translates into the shareholders not being paid any dividends on their shares, and the directors, other than Gazidis, only draw a pittance in salaries (and that includes Kroenke), so that any profits are ploughed back into running the club.
Like many of us on AA who have consistently said just that, Mr Syed will not be believed by those who do not want to hear!
I hope things are not too difficult for you and your family, at the moment, and it is good to see you on AA, again. 🙂
I misunderstood you Sheep, I thought you worked in the Prison Service, as does Illybongani.
Good article dandan, although I think his understanding of Thatch’s philosophy regarding individualism is flawed.
Explain, Rocky, please, for someone not versed in British political philosophy.
Not on this site Redders 🙂
Politics-free zone, my Colonial chum…
Ra glad to be in your illustrious company 🙂
Dandan, to quote Nick Hornby in relation to the modern game (bare in mind he wrote it in the 90’s) some things are better and some things worse. This might sum up that article…. but then again I think it always depends on your personal point of view.
I am glad to be associated with you too, GoonerJ. 🙂
Rocky, you lazee devil, email meyour explanation — you cannot excite my interest and then say ‘sod off’! 😦
Rocky/Goonerjake 6.25/6.26 Those were the reasons I simply published it and called it interesting
44 points 🙂
Hi Strus, 🙂
Are you lively, interesting and well balanced? If so, welcome aboard!! 😀
Excuse me Mr Smart Red Arse. I am not pretending to be busy. And your continued insinuations of me being less than truthful about my score in your stupid HR ‘exam’ are uncalled for. I resent it, and if I were British like Rocky, I would tell you to ‘sod off’. But I’m not, so I won’t 🙂
Well said, Shard, altho’ I never doubted the veracity of your score, just a little doubt about you being exalted company!! 🙂
So, what have you been busily up to?
A bite to eat, and the Barca game are calling – Sayonara.
Oh. On that score (me not being exalted company) I have no complaints.
Been busily up to, believe it or not, studying for an exam. A very tough one at that. My last shot at getting a job as a civil servant 🙂 (Cue shock horror?) 🙂
RA
I do some prison work for psychiatric assessments but HMP don’t employ me .
The good old Tories pay my wages the NHS.
Hope that explains it.
Ps Ian Poulter playing in the masters he’s a huge gunner and has the badge on his shoes.
I’ve backed him to win he’s 40/1 come on POULTER
Much love
I’m just glad I passed the test and did end up mad ha .
Shard, blogging most definitely comes second to your career, of course, so keep revising, and I am sure you will be rewarded with success.
I will keep my fingers crossed for you! 🙂
Thanks, Sheepy, that does explain it very well.
In your message at 8:14 did you miss the word ‘not’ out or are you admitting the job has driven you mad? 🙂
Lol sorry misdeed the word out not cheers for that RA.
Did not 👍🍺👀
45. Bloody typical – every time I do one of these I come out as an average Joe.
Though according to Rocky I am under-21.
RA. Good funny and different post. Well played
Mrs sheep had a go she scored -5
Much love
Messi could hardly bloody run and he improved Barca….
Lucky Barca.
Evening guys, we’re desperate for posts, anyone got any ideas?
Rasp I’ve been racking my brains all day, I’ve could have a go at a reminiscing one.
In the loading bay Rasp.
hahahaha. Well played Redders 🙂
1. C
2. A
3. D
4. D
5. A
6. B
7. C
8. B
9. A
10. C
Total= 51.
hahaha. Always up for an adventure, that is why im a gunner 😉 and i will try ‘almost’ anything once.
Morning All,
The results of the regulars were unsurprising weren’t they? Perhaps there is something in this …. I will get people I know beter to answer.
Not impressed with David Villa last night, he was completely anonymous, as was Fabregas. We need better than them.
Morning all,
Raddy do you think Cesc regrets his decision?
Morning Guys, 🙂
Raddy,
There is no ‘average’ in these tests because they are designed to match people to suitable jobs.
I was going to ‘tweak’ the test to make it more blog orientated, but I thought that would make it a bit too personal.
Your score of 45 is no surprise – to be described as ‘kind, considerate, charming and well balanced’ is admirable!! 😀
Morning/Night, PPP, 🙂
Again your score of 51 meets my own impression of you ‘volatile, impulsive and leading from the front’ is very much you!! 😀
GIE,
In answer to your question concerning Cesc, I don’t know how he now feels about his move back to Barcelona, because the personal pull of his own country must affect his mind set.
What last night’s game did show was that he is very much the monkey and not the organ grinder in the Barca team, and his slowness has become, if anything, more pronounced playing with technically skilfull and speedy players.
Messi was and is – magnificent!!
Thanks GiE, top bloke 🙂
And to think ‘if only i fell asleep curled on my side’ rather than on my back, i would be a completely different character 😀
Morning all,
Cesc is still awesome. Barca just cannot afford to play to his strengths. There is a different little magician that they have built the team around.
3P,
I agree that Cesc is still a great player, and altho’ it will not happen, he would be very welcome back at the Emirates, and would bring the nous and experience that might make all the difference to our team.
Morning all, great piece from GiE today ……
….New post …….
I’m a bit dyslexic and can’t be arsed to plod through all that! They say all Arsenal fans are paranoid tho’☺ wot with the Sperz mafia aunty Beeb and talksh!t radio!!☻ For years I thought I was the nutter Nick Hornby avoided on the north bank (delusions of grandeur?) then I attended a book recital he held with the author of the Jamie Bulger case book at Crouch End Library and a as I walked in I’m sure he pointed at me and whispered something into the other authors ear (more Arsenal paranoia?)♣
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