Written by ArseChicago
Perhaps I’ve come to this realisation before, but the weekends with no football seem to shine an even brighter light on how large of a role supporting the Arsenal plays in my life. Yes, watching the Arsenal, I realise, provides my weekend life with much needed structure (in addition to a perfect excuse to have a few morning pints in lieu of a 5K jog by the lake), as well as complete immunity from friend and family obligations for a handful of hours on any particular Saturday or Sunday. Sad you say? Yes, I agree. But there’s a lot in the world to be mourned. For example, my sad soul neighbour currently sitting by himself in his backyard as I type this, eating a bag of potato chips and listening to Chicago Cubs pre-game radio. For those that don’t follow baseball, the Cubs would be relegated this season were it the Premiership.
But that’s all neither here nor there my friends, for I’ve got important and revelatory news to report. News emanating from an exotic, mystic source. Without the aforementioned immunity last weekend and with complete availability for spousal duties, a routine Friday evening dinner out at one of our favorite Chinese places yielded BBQ duck and this:
Now, I’m sure like me, many of you await with eager anticipation the opportunity to attach “in bed” to the end of the fortunes you receive. And when I initially read the strip of paper from this fortune cookie, I immediately debated whether or not this was to mean that Arsenal, far and away the “sports team” nearest and dearest to my heart and leaving all others in its wake, would garner many notches on its collective bedpost this year or if it was to mean that Arsenal would in fact have great success on the pitch. After some thought, I concluded that this message could only mean good things for the supporters of the club’s effort on the pitch. Considering that Jack Wilshere is employing the ol’ camera up the skirt trick, which, according to my female friends, never seems to lead to good things, and given that Bendtner’s groin is on the fritz, how could I conclude otherwise than that this tasty cookie was telling me unconditionally that Arsenal was to challenge for, if not win, silverware this very season?
I know many of you have been up in arms all throughout the transfer window, wondering whether or not Arsenal had enough to overtake the likes of Chelsea and United. Perhaps you’ve started to doubt the wisdom and frugality of Wenger and are looking for answers. And while I can rehash myriad arguments in Arsenal’s defense, I suppose I’m sharing with you this fortune as a sort of last line of defense. I have always watched our matches on the same screen at the pub. Worn the same Arsenal boxers on each match day I bought at the Armory gift shop some years back. Imbibed my morning coffee from the same Arsenal mug each match day morning. And now it’s paid off. My pleading with the cosmos has finally returned a verdict on our collective fate. Arsenal will be successful this year. Don’t believe me? What if I told you I picked up 3 pennies off the ground yesterday? C’mon, folks, it is as good as etched in stone.