….and we think its tough being a Gooner

The following post was forwarded by Chaf and is an actual rant from a Grimsby supporter. While there has been a lot of chest-beating, ranting and vitriol this week on the blogs it has been coupled with  passion, delusion and optimism and maybe thats what being a supporter is all about.  Although not successful in our quest for silverware we  have been competetive and putting things into perspective could you support any other team?

Subject: Grimsby fan bemoans potential life in the Blue Square

April 17, 2010, 9:54pm Report to Moderator
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Now I’m as optimistic as anyone when it comes to this twát of a football club, but after this afternoon’s latest capitulation it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee – we’re ****ed. Down. Goners. Non-league. To be honest I didn’t know how it would affect me, it’s not like it hasn’t been coming, but tonight I just feel absolutely deflated. Absolutely ****ing devastated.

I can’t get away from these emotions, I just want the whole world to just **** off and leave me alone. To help me come to terms with this whole mess, I’ve decided to compile a list of everyone and everything I want to **** off most of all.

For starters, work can **** off. If they think I’m going to be there on Monday morning they’ve got another thing coming. No way am I going in to spend time dealing with ****s that I can barely stand being with when I’m in a good mood, let alone this crushing feeling of anger, frustration and outright metaphorically-kicked-in-the-b*llocks .

Plastic Premier League fans can **** off. I just spoke to my Manchester United supporting neighbour (who incidentally, has been to Old Trafford before – twice) about Town’s predicament. You know what he said? “I know how you feel; it’s like when we failed to win a trophy in ‘95”. NO IT FCUKING WELL IS NOT.

He no longer has a face.

The girlfriend can definitely **** off. Her best attempt at consolation – “I don’t know why you’re bothered; you knew they were shít anyway”. Yes love, but they’re MY shít team. They’ve been MINE for pretty much as long as I’ve been able to wipe my own árse, and they’ll be MINE for as long as I’m alive (or at least, until I’m no longer able to wipe my own árse). Truth is, watching my team win does things for me that no woman can. If push comes to shove and I’m horny, I can always have a wánk.

Barrow can **** off. I’ve been all over the country and beyond to watch my team, but frankly I just don’t have the stomach to visit any town which makes S****horpe look like ****ing St. Tropez.

Dad, you can **** off. This is your fault. Your idea. You introduced me to this shower of shít. “Come with me to Blundell Park”, you said, “Come and support the boys”. What could I do? I was ****ing four, what choice did I have? Why not get me hooked on Heroin whilst you were at it? I could have gone with mum shopping for bras and knickers at British Home Stores, but no, you knew best.

Granted, I’d have probably grown up a homosexual but surely even being simultaneously búggered by two guys named Seth and Quentin couldn’t hurt like this.

Seeing as we’re on the subject of homosexuality, Gok Wan can **** off. No particular reason, I just plain don’t like the annoying, goggle-eyed ****.

The F.A. can **** off. Not for supplying us, week-in, week- out, with inept referee after inept referee, but for imposing sensible financial rules on all clubs in League Two. How many clubs in this division have been into administration this season? Not one. How many points deducted? Not one. How the **** else are we supposed to avoid relegation – footballing merit? We didn’t have to last season, so why spoil the fun now?

The World Cup can **** off – I don’t care anymore.

My local pizza shop can **** off. I ordered a 12” Pepperoni over an hour ago, and where the **** is it? Are they trying to ****ing fly it to me or something?

Sky Sports can **** off. Nothing personal, but there’ll be little need for me next season with no Town to be found anywhere. Ooh, Bolton versus Wolves, LIVE. I think I’ll pass…

The radio can **** off. On my way home from the match, whilst driving down the M180, I caught three completely separate stations playing ‘Down’ by Jay Sean at the exact same ****ing time. The song’s the best part of a year old, how the **** does that happen by coincidence!?

My nan’s old lucky Buddha that used to sit in her front room can **** off. When I was a kid I held it in my hands and wished for Town to be in the Premier League. I meant the proper one you fat ****, not the one occupied by Histon, Eastbourne and for ****’s sake, Ebbsfleet, wherever that is.

Tonight can **** off. I’ve had enough of trying to cope with my emotions; the time has come for oblivion. I haven’t kept any booze in the house since an occasion known only as ‘That Night’ by myself and the missus, but suffice to say that the toilet duck and luminous blue mouthwash are looking like stronger propositions by the minute.

Most of all though, the last 10 years can **** off. In that time I’ve watched my team fall from the top of the Championship into non-league nothingness. We’ve gone from one great big **** up to the next without even coming up for air, and today is just the big, **** off cherry on top.

One thing I’m sure of though is that we WILL be back. When it comes down to it, a football club is basically just a set of supporters, and frankly what I’ve learned in the last few years is that this one has some of the best. We’ve had to put up with some shít, haven’t we boys, but in spite of all of that the future is still bright – it’s ****ing black and white.

Grimsby ‘til I die…

90 Responses to ….and we think its tough being a Gooner

  1. Morning all

    Thanks London for that quick edit.

    We’ve got a game tomorrow against those manchavs, if they think there’s vitriol between them and the mancs they need to hold onto their hats for the reception the Lazy one is going to receive tomorrow.

    Hot – more like boiling cauldron 😉

  2. charybdis1966 says:

    Morning all, Peachy – are you taking your inflatable elephant tomorrow ?

  3. Urmmmmmm why?

    Morning chary

  4. London says:

    Now that is what I call a rant. Hilarious

    “but surely even being simultaneously búggered by two guys named Seth and Quentin couldn’t hurt like this.”

    Watching Almunia let in the equaliser at Birmingham came close.

  5. charybdis1966 says:

    Sorry Peachy– I know you’re too much of a lady to get involved in such vicious Adebarndoor baiting. The elephant refers to the cruel song about our ex no. 25.

  6. Irishgunner says:

    Morning all.

    Nothing like the lower leagues. That Grimsby fan should try watching Limerick FC play ha ha to think we once played Real Madrid in Europe….

  7. jack says:

    really enjoyed this, funny and you can see how much his team means to him

  8. Irish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello, how’re you doing?

  9. Irishgunner says:

    I’m H-h-h-h-appy Peaches – just bought me some Lady Gaga tickets, I ❤ the Gaga 🙂

    That aside, I'm fine as long as that volcano stays quiet so I can get home in a few weeks ha ha

  10. Irishgunner says:

    P.S. I got some ideas for articles around World Cup time – like players we should be watching out for but not the obvious ones like Villa or Silva etc but some lesser lights that might do good for the Arsenal.

  11. Oooh good girl – looking forward to that. When are you planning to leave Oz?

  12. dandan says:

    Morning all

    Wonderful, wonderful Post Rasp am sitting here crying with laughter, O the pain of it. Don’t you just feel for him

    And to think we have won nothing for 5 years. ain’t we the hard done by one’s, sort of puts things into perspective doesn’t it

  13. Irishgunner says:

    In two weeks time, fingers crossed. My parents don’t know I’m going home (well they know just not what date) – they are going on their holidays so all things going well I’ll be in the kitchen when they get home SURPRISE 😆

  14. Irishgunner says:

    Oh and I want to design a hat cos like its Gaga – it I find myself bored over the next few months I might do an Arsenal-inspired creation although it’ll probably get taken off me ha ha

  15. Irishgunner says:

    Oh yes but back to the World Cup period – I volunteer large chunks of my time to it (as long as I don’t get a job – but like that’ll happen…) so yeah I have ideas. I’ll e-mail them/put them up nearer the time.

  16. Irishgunner says:

    The one time I’ve internet and no-one here 😦

    Laters y’all, hopefully we regain some face against the Manchavs…

  17. Big Raddy says:

    Hi Irish . Lovely to see your gravatar!

    What a brilliant post. Congrats Rasp. The best laugh I have had for ages. How can our rant Friday’s compare with that?

    I expect Ade to get a little light ribbing tomorrow, nothing too abusive …….

  18. Irishgunner says:

    Hiya BR – you’ll be seeing a lot more of it soon I hope 🙂

    I must be off. Gooners for the 3 points and Manchavs to be put back in their box.

    Bye bye

  19. Rasputin says:

    Morning everyone, welcome back Irish 😉

    Thanks for the plaudits but the post came via London and the opening paragraph was written by peaches … team work 😆

  20. dandan says:

    Rasp I have sent that to supporters of many sports all over the world I think it is that good, wish I could write like that. Immense. Cheers Peaches/ London it made my day

  21. London says:

    I love that rant, it gets better every time I read it and I have just read it for the fifth time. Brilliant.

  22. 😆 that is one of the best blogs anywhere on the net

    hillarious rant

    top bombing.

  23. Rocky Lives says:

    Back in England at last, and just in time to shout myself hoarse tomorrow booing that useless, lanky, lazy, self-obsessed lump of narcissism that is Adebarndoor.
    Unfortunately I fully expect him to score against us and I can’t see our weakened team being able to cope with a club desperate for 4th place.
    Maybe the Wigan game has forced some home truths on certain players and maybe they’ll pull out a true Arsenal performance to put the the cash-rich class-poor Citeh back in their box. I hope so.

  24. Rocky Lives says:

    What’s great about this post is the way it taps into the universal football supporting experience. You can’t imagine even the most dedicated rugby, cricket, basketball or ice hockey supporter writing something like that.

  25. Rocky Lives says:

    Big R – what with volcanoes and transatlantic travel I never managed to get back to you about the source of those Rory Delap stats I posted (very late) a couple of nights ago.
    (for anyone who missed it, I noted that, far from Delap terrorising the entire premiership with his throw-ins, only three teams had conceded goals from them this season in the Prem – us, Wolves and Burnely. The other 16 teams all coped just fine. We also shipped one from a Delap throw-in in the Cup).
    I got them partly from the Stoke official website, but also from some research into match reports because, as it turns out, Stoke’s official stats are inaccurate (classy club).

  26. Big Raddy says:

    Thanks Rocky. You must be pleased to be back in Blighty, ready to celebrate St George’s day.

    Of course Ade will score, there is an inevitability about it. But will RvP show Ade the underside of his boot? There will be some needle tomorrow, shame Cesc isn’t fit (and TV)

  27. gbenga says:

    I will definitely feel like this guy if Adebayor scores the winner against us tomorrow! Why do I have this strong feeling he will? Silvestre is sure gonna play-that’s why! To pluto with him.

  28. London says:

    gbenga please read the rules above, it clearly says we do not stand for language like “to pluto with him”

  29. charybdis1966 says:

    Do what, London ?
    LOL, “To Pluto with him” – I like it.

  30. Big Raddy says:

    Me too. I may use it in tomorrows post!

  31. London says:

    Please tell me you knew I was joking? You didn’t did you? I thought the clue might have been that there aren’t any rules above Aaaaaaggggg To Pluto with you all.

  32. charybdis1966 says:

    Of course London, it’s the “LOL” that was the giveaway.

  33. Rocky Lives says:

    Maybe Gbenga was already from Pluto in the first place?

  34. Rocky Lives says:

    OK, team for tomorrow (not the one I’d like, but the one I expect to start):
    Sagna Campbell Silvestre Clichy
    Eboue Song Diaby
    Walcott Bendtner Rosicky

  35. charybdis1966 says:

    R lives, this is my preferred choice:

    Eboue Sagna Sol Clichy
    Theo Song Rosicky
    Bendy Robin Eduardo

    Can’t see it happening and I think Wenger will go for your selection. Are you going to the match R Lives ?

  36. Oh no not Fabianski – look I’m only 5’5″ but I’m sure I could do a better job 🙄

    Let the Don have a go – at least we’ll have used all the options

  37. Rocky are you still stranded across the pond?

  38. charybdis1966 says:

    Actually the trouble with my centre back pairing is that they aare both right footers, I’d suggest Song there , but I’m not sure if he is another right footer. I’ll try anything to avoid Fish head in the team.
    Is Eastmond left footed ?

  39. Fabianski may surprise, he cannot possibily get any worse.

    He is a far better keeper than Mannone imo.

  40. Hi SFH – I think its safe to say he was a far better keeper that Mannone……. whether he is now remains to be seen.

  41. Rocky Lives says:

    Hi Peaches – back home now thanks.

  42. Rocky Lives says:

    Chary – yes, taking up my usual seat for the regular dose of pleasure and pain.

  43. Alfa says:

    Fabianski? To pluto with him.

    Let’s play 11 outfield players instead. That will also guarantee that Ade will be offside for 85 of the 90 minutes, instead of the usual 60, so restricting his chances even more.

    We can then play a back 5, the 5th defender being Theo playing as a sweeper. His job will be to tie Tevez’s laces together when he isn’t looking.

  44. Sounds like a plan 😆

  45. with the way this season has gone… one week hero, next week zero…

    let me write sunday’s newsnow headlines for you today..

    Super Fab
    Fabulous Fabianski
    Fab the Man
    etc etc

  46. Ok, I’ll keep everything crossed for him then 🙂

    We already have a fabulous fab though, maybe its a psychological problem for him – aaahhhh maybe he needs to change his name 😆

  47. Rocky Lives says:

    Alfa – love the idea of Theo tying Tevez’s laces together.
    Maybe Eboue – the ‘club joker’ – could sneak into the away dressing room and put itching powder in Adebarndoor’s shorts.

  48. Alfa says:

    RL, now you are on the right track.

    How hard can this management lark be?

  49. London says:


    We all hope you are right.

    My guess at the team.


  50. Alfa says:

    London, that works for me. And some chilli in Rosicky’s pre-match orange juice to get him fired up.

  51. London says:

    Clichy had to be called Slichy so the whole back line started with S. Childish I know but I am in a good mood. The pressure is off, time to relax, drink cold beer, laugh and make fun of Adebayor every time he is off side.

  52. kelsey says:

    Evening all.

    Stevie G is in trouble again.he is trying(again) to keep it out of the papers.

    He has knocked up a 16 year old who is now with lump and mrs. G is shagging a Derby county player. I am shocked and amazed.

  53. London says:

    That’s hilarious to Pluto with him.

  54. dandan says:

    Good evening all. Hi Kelsey, How kosher is that info, or is it rumour

  55. kelsey says:

    It started this morning as a rumour but it has gathered momentum all day and a friend in Liverpool just e mailed me.not the first time either has been in trouble is it, so I would guess it could be true.

    I must say our English players such as terry and gerrard and cole are real role models for the kids today.

  56. dandan says:

    Oh dear, trouble free, relaxing world cup then.

  57. kelsey says:


    some of Stevie G’s family live very near to us in San Pedro, and shall we say they are not true and upright people.Mrs.G has had a major drug problem for years, i am sure you can sniff what i mean.
    About 3 years ago he had all but signed for chelsea, but it wasn’t allowed by certain individuals in dipperland.

  58. dandan says:

    Great shame, fine player, but if he has no back up or role models in the family then it is hard.

    So sad for all the kids who worship him

  59. kelsey says:

    The Derby player is Kris Commons

  60. i hear mrs g loves a pancake 😉

  61. Big Raddy says:

    I love a bit of gossip, and really no surprise about Stevie Me.

  62. the first child, is openly not his, fathered by a gangster who runs all the door in liverpool called pancake.

  63. Big Raddy says:

    Now that is salacious gossip SfH !

  64. BR – that is old news, that was the reason for all those shenanigans abour 2 years ago when he did not play for half the season.

  65. dandan says:

    Evening String, where do such rumours come from.

  66. this pancake chap is also known to be a high scale cocaine peddler up in liverpool, mrs g is know to have a taste for powedering here nost.. this is how they met.

    i thought everybody knew this?

  67. hi dandan, the rumours about pancake fathering the child and nearly breaking up the marriage were plastered all over the web by scoursers in the supposed know.

  68. NOTW had this story and it was blocked, unlike JT, he won his court hearing.

  69. dandan says:

    Its a sad old world for youngsters today, wouldn’t trade my youth for theirs, stuff the millions if what you outline is living they can keep it.

  70. kelsey says:

    SH has got the facts right. knowlwdgeable chap indeed 🙂

    Of course the media will lap all of this up just to kill off any chance we might have in the World Cup, as they have done before .

  71. London says:

    I just made the mistake of reading the headline post of another blog — big mistake. If ever anyone needed proof that it is easier to slag off something than it is to be constructive, there it is for all to see. I reckon I could write something negative about spuds every day I also reckon Chary could easily write something negative about the mancs every day. So what does that say to you about someone who writes something negative about Arsenal every single day………there are still enough who visit it…..someone tell me how slagging off Arsenal everyday is some how synonymous with supporting them because I just don’t get it?

  72. They have a mental illness, London

    but the good news is, they have paid the renewal fee for their season ticket, so order is restored, apparently.

  73. London says:

    That made me howl SFH: “we are renewing our season tickets because we know if we don’t this will be the year when we sign five experienced players”…………..by contrast, I’m renewing my season ticket because I fucking support Arsenal.

    To pluto with them, I’m out for the night, see ya.

  74. night… to pluto with them 😆

  75. Do you think I should write to gbenga and make sure he doesn’t mind us adopting his ‘to pluto with him’ punch-line?

    I reckon its here to stay 😆

  76. London says:

    Peaches, write to him and ask if he has anymore because that one made me cry with laughter.

  77. Rocky Lives says:

    As Mickey Mouse might say: “G’night Pluto.”

  78. gnarleygeorge9 says:

    Arsene Wenger places faith in Fabianski
    By Soccernet

    Arsene Wenger believes Lukasz Fabianski will prove to be a “great ‘keeper” for Arsenal and will give the Pole the chance to made amends for his mistake against Wigan when Manchester City visit Emirates Stadium on Saturday.

    Here we go the bullsh*t threats by Arsene Wenger that he will spend then, when the dust settles, he does sod all.

  79. gnarleygeorge9 says:

    5th is looking a real possibility 😦

  80. Thanks gnarley – thats a really positive thought for me to go to bed with – night night catch in the morning 😉

  81. kelsey says:


    I wasn’t going to comment and you both call a spade a spade but I agree that headline post was really a bit much and did nothing to show support for the club.

  82. London says:

    Thank you Kelsey, very kind of you to say. I was a few glasses of wine in when I read it and commented last night. I still feel the same way but I probably would not have said anything in the cold light of the day. Still, hey ho we have a game today.

  83. Big Raddy says:

    Sunny here at last. Could Spring have arrived or is it another one of Gaia’s jokes ?

    I hope GG is wrong in his assessment. What is AW meant to say? That Fab & the Clown are unreliable? He may well think it privately, but a man cut from his cloth would never state that in public.

  84. gnarleygeorge9 says:

    Evening BR

    If you endured countless days of shit weather, & then you were told that soon there will be blue skies & sun, etc. You would think I’ll believe it when I see it. How many times has Le Gaffer said he will spend then doesn’t over the past 5 years. The bloke is a signings tease.

  85. Big Raddy says:

    LOL GG That last sentence really made me laugh

  86. gnarleygeorge9 says:

    Noises apparently BR about Joe Hart, though again, I’m not going to let myself get sucked in by old Frenchie & his yes/no/yes/no/no need. But he would be a great signing don’t you think 🙂

  87. gnarleygeorge9 says:

    This is what I want. I want Arsene Wenger to hold aloft the PL Cup. The world needs that. It will help create world peace.

  88. dandan says:

    Morning all, Hi GG This is wind up season for all managers, The silly season, Wenger will know who he wants but try and put others off the scent, Highly unlikely of course with all those Mr 10% looking to hike prices.

  89. Rasputin says:

    New post ….

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