First of all, apologies to anyone hoping to find the usual daily helping of wit, wisdom and footballing insight you have come to expect from Arsenal Arsenal.
As it’s Boxing Day and there’s bugger all happening from an Arsenal point of view, I’m afraid this is a bit of a quirky Post aimed at the regular AA contributors.
But don’t worry, normal service will resume tomorrow with a fine pre-match report for the Wolves game.
For today, however, I am delighted to present…
The Arsenal Arsenal Dictionary
(A guide to new words formed as a result of cross-generation of individuals via the medium of this blogular site).
ImPeach
(verb) to compel an individual to write a headline Post for AA ostensibly through charm, but with the underlying threat of physical violence.
Glicious
(adjective) award-winning.
LB
(abbreviation) measurement of weight equivalent to 16 ounces (for example: “That thong full of Arsenal badges must weight about 3 lbs… and must be highly dangerous to wear.”
Sharkenfreude
(adverb) taking pleasure in the misfortunes of Manchester United.
Rasp
(noun) a tool for abrading the rough edges of a disputatious blog.
GN5
(acronym) postal district of North London, located somewhere in the vicinity of the Great Lakes.
Irish
(adjective) feeling a degree of ire when something dear to oneself is insulted (for example: “I was feeling decidedly irish at the suggestion that, if Lady Gaga supported a Premier League team, she would choose Chelsea.”
FatGinger
(adjective) a new paint colour from upmarket suppliers Farrah & Ball. Strikingly red and ideal for virgin walls.
Big Raddiator
(noun) a device for giving one a warm feeling on the morning of an Arsenal game.
Oz
(proper noun) a mysterious land far away, favoured by Friends of Dorothy but occasionally producing wizard insights into all things Arsenal.
Red Arse
(proper noun) a medical condition that induces in sufferers an enhanced vocabulary cortex. No cure has yet been found.
Totalitarianism
(noun) being completely Dutch.
Dandanite
(noun) a rare mineral noted for its solidness and stability. Billions of years old.
Chas Longue
(noun) poncey French sofa thing – perfect for watching funny videos from.
Herb
(noun) slang term for a type of marijuana which produces in users the strong sensation that Arsenal’s best manager lived 75 years ago.
Kelsea
(proper noun) popular Cockney seaside resort in the south of Spain.
VCC
(abbreviation) short for Veritable Cornucopia of Comedy.
26May
(proper noun) annual public holiday for the legal profession.
Mancineration
(noun) the removal of all the hair from an individual’s head.
Illybongani
(proper noun) the capital of Bennigoonarmy.
Jamie
(proper noun) popular television chef who moonlights as a contributor on Arsenal Arsenal.
Evonia
(proper noun) Polish enclave of North London, inhabited by a race of fierce, blonde-haired Amazon beauties.
Micky-taking
(noun) making fun of fellow bloggers (particularly residents of Evonia) in such a charming way that they can never take offence.
Carlito’s Way
(noun) out of an aeroplane door and straight downwards.
Harry
(verb) to harass or annoy (in particular, to harass or annoy blog visitors making stupid points).
Charybbean
(proper noun) a beautiful group of islands set in a turquoise sea of Peroni.
In Exile
(adjective) living in Norfolk.
TommyStout
(proper noun) unusual form of porter ale, with a full red body and a clear white head.
Diannual
(adjective) pertaining to a female blogger; someone who posts comments about 10 times a year.
AllezKev
(verb) to exhort somebody in a foreign language. Homonyms include “AvantiNigel” and “ComeOnNwankwo.”
Veronica
(noun) a painful growth in the foot. Hurts when you step on it.
Pat
(verb) Gesture of affection in New Zealand. Often involving sheep.
Wiggy
(noun) usually required after undergoing a mancineration.
Lucci
(adjective) pronounced loo-chee: carrying too much ‘junk in the trunk’. For example “Blimey, Arshavin’s looking a bit lucci today.”
And apologies to any regulars I may have omitted. I’d had about a bottle and a half of good red wine when I wrote it.
RockyLives
Arsenal News 24/7
arsenalarsenal.net 
MESSAGE FROM BIG RADDY:
“Am not able to get ón the site at the moment so could you wish everyone a Merry Xmas ón ny behalf”.
Oh, and he says he will be at The Tavern tomorrow.
Rocky,
If that’s not “a daily helping of wit” of the highest order, then I’m to be our January Signing.
I’m going to pick a favourite and its “Chas Longue”. It works on so many levels.
Brilliant Rocky, thanks. Off to read through again.
Super stuff, Rocky.
The following is a visual representation of all you bring to AA.
Actually, I don’t know about having a favourite. Kelsea, cockney seaside resort 🙂
Wow Rocky, you are far too clever, that is such a great thing to have written. You’ve managed to sum us all up, flatter us and amuse us, all at the same time.
I can’t compete but may I suggest ……
The Rockies: a magnificent cornucopia of towering creations, each peak attaining greater heights as you travel through the seemingly endless range 😛
Super and clever post thanks a millionm rocky will provide many smiles today in the absence of real football. You did however miss one definition.
Rocky a positive condition induced by exposure to Dandanite should negative vibes dare enter the AA blog. 🙂
Chas,
Classic 🙂
This line up is awesome I prefer total futy and in luv with beauty amazonia…You guys re too much!COYG
This line up is awesome I prefer total futy as the captain and in luv with beauty amazonia…You guys re too much!COYG
Rocky,
You missed out:
Ezigbdom (Verb) When a thing is not worth saying once; to say it again. (origins unknown)
Please insert :-
Definition of;
Rockydemius: (Noun) pronounced – “R och ee deem ee us”
Denizen of wanna be American colony; charming person famous for assaulting the senses of innocent bloggers and addicting them to daily doses of mind blowing prose and syntax, ultimately inducing apocalyptic delight in creative wit and knowledge.
Not to be confused with a short, muscular, plastic boxer known as ‘Rocky’ and sometimes referred to, colloquially, as “sly”.
Emergency Re-definition of Red Arse:
Red Arse: (improper noun – can be used to describe baboons, orangutans and a lanky blogger).
Also (see): Devotee of Rockydemius; resistant to Peachy Post-itis; modest – with much to be modest about; possesses antediluvian humor – known to be corrosive to sensitive bloggers; loves words with lots of “s’s” (esses?).
Nice video summary of the season so far, best viewed in 720 (HD) and full screen.
Brilliant Rocky, The only reason i got into this site was after i read one of your articles several months ago, it was so good and thought provoking i felt compelled to respond, the first time i had ever posted anything in my life infact.You and Redders made me feel at home immediatly and ime very thankful.
Any way, the curse of the self employed Accountant strikes again so i have to trudge off to work. Hope i dont get a visit from Jacob Marley.
Rocky..Rocky..Rocky… What would we all do without you. We are privileged to have such an accomplished blogger frequenting this site. Without our daily dose of ArsenalArsenal is a hollow day.
Everybody in their own way, make this site compelling viewing, we all form part of a jigsaw.Long may it continue.
Happy,Healthy and prosperous New Year to all you AA’ers.
Brilliant Rocky, very clever idea and its left me in fits of laughter.
‘Dandanite -billions of years old’ bloody hilarious!
cheers for the mention
@ Chas
very funny video, almost passes as a shorter ‘world’s number 1’ look a like!
Great post Rocky, as per usual.
Top vids Chas.
Christmas cracker Rocky! What a leg-end! Honoured to be mentioned among some AA heavyweights, even if you do want me stoned!
‘Rocky Allan Poe’ – Capable of short pieces of brillance, particularly in the genre known as ‘Arsenal’. Held in high regard by all AA’ers and often sets the bar higher after every post, so much so that Oz and RA wonder if they should even bother attempting one again (especially not the day after!).
Highlights include:
-The Robin
-The Haunted Crystal Palace
-Eduardo
-The System of Dr Wegner and Professor Rice
-The Premature Burial of Nasri
-The Fall of the House of Old Trafford
Haha very funny Rocky.
Reminded me of I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clues New Uxbridge Dictionary round.
For those of us who have been ImPeached that has to be the best definition.
Pure brilliance from the Rockstar today….
Rasp – “The Rockies: a magnificent cornucopia of towering creations, each peak attaining greater heights”
Nutshell
Steve Harly by the sea here.
I hear we are in negotiations for Zamorra be it loan or otherwise.
Hi Gie and AA’ers, hope you’re having a Glicious Boxing Day sitting on your Chas Lounge next to the Big Radiator – and I’m not taking the Micky 🙄
On the subject of Impeachment, we need a pre-match for tomorrow and I’m still hioping someone will step up with some form of review for the year …. don’t make me Harry you, but the writer will get a free holiday in the Charybbean where they can get peronied to their hearts content.
Shaqueel play for a little football club. Arsenal asked him a few times but he prefers the atmosphere of a little club. Just like his daddy who stayed at Excelsior til1 his 13th instead of going to Feyenoord at young age.
@vanpersie fansite
The chavs draw – a win for us and we go 4th – who’d have thunk it?
Rocky – magnificent, very very funny 🙂 And terribly flattering to some, thank you
RockyLives (polish translation) – a gently giant endowed with good looks and wit. However, consumption of large quantities of bourbon can result in mild aggression; otherwise a perfectly lovable addition to any Arsenal fan’s life
Hello All and thanks for indulging my silliness.
Oz was actually the inspiration with his clever use of “Sharkspeare” to describe Sharkey. That led me on to Sharkenfreude (my personal favourite) and the rest followed after that…
I wanted to add a few more before it was posted but I was having server problems last night and couldn’t get back in to edit it. They would have been:
Pat
(verb) Gesture of affection in New Zealand. Often involving sheep.
Wiggy
(noun) usually required after undergoing a mancineration.
Lucci
(adjective) pronounced loo-chee: carrying too much ‘junk in the trunk’. For example “Blimey, Arshavin’s looking a bit lucci today.”
And apologies to any regulars I may have omitted. I’d had about a bottle and a half of good red wine when I wrote it.
Chas
Thanks for the vid – it’s hilarious.
Happy Boxing Day everyone.
Rasp – yep, 1 all, and only 1 point ahead of us 🙂
what shall I watch now….Manc can spoil my xmas, so I will watch Pool
Micky – Rocky is right, you do take the piss out of me, watch it!!
Chas – great vid, I was sure it was Chesny
evonne 🙂
He does like a bit like our Wojcech, doesn’t he? About a foot shorter, but definitely a resemblance.
Zamora… well, he wouldn’t be my idea of a world class striker, but as someone who has scored on a regular basis in the EPL, would need no ‘settling in period’ and could give the Prince an occasional rest… why not?
Well done Fulham. Good response after getting battered by ManUre the other day.
Now all we need are shock wins for West Brom and Wigan.
Hi Rocky, a piece of Rocky Mountain music for you 😛
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF2OP_gFsz4
Hi evonne,
Actually the chavs are 2 points ahead of us but the result is the same and a win tomorrow puts us in the coveted CL Zone
Rasp – yes, 2 points, damn it!
Evonne, hope you had a lovely day yesterday and your hosting skills were appreciated by your guests 🙂
Rasp
Great song that. Have always loved it. He did a few good songs after the Eagles broke up.
Rasp
Is it possible to edit in those belated definitions into the post without having to start all over again with the comments etc?
Yea, I am a fan too but somehow I feel he never reached his potential.
Gonna have to say goodbye for a while now to fulfill some family duties – catch up with you all later…. and hopefully someone will have volunteered to do a pre-match by the time I return 😕
OK Rocky, I’ve added them to the post – gotta rush now……
Thanks Rasp – talk later.
Rasp – thank you. It was lovely, but I didn’t cook, so cannot take the credit. I am sure you had lovely time with the kids back home; were you showered with gifts?
half time at anfield 0-1
would you adam and eve it (cockney slang RL 😉 )
I’ll take Liverpool losing or a draw.
Blackburn have had one shot all game according to BBC and Adam scored their goal hahahaha.
Big test tomorrow as we know this is the time when a door is opened for us and we leave it ajar rather than bolting through and closing it us behind us.
I’m on pre match case btw. It’ll be in Drafts before morning.
Kelsey – I wouldn’t, but I would believe 1:1 🙂
hold on WBA, less than 5 mins..hold on!!!
WOW Rocky, that must have been a good bottle of wine to get your creative juices flowing so richly. Top stuff.
Rocky-Living: Ability to produce a post at short notice, no matter how busy one is, where one is, or whether one has a subject to write about.
Bucking Frilliant, CockyLives from Ranada.
I`m Mumbled to be Henstioned.
Sanuary Jales, Luying and Beaving ?
It`s up to Wersene Anger . Mop sark Tigning or Shivelling Shot Poss Pit ?
A Creasy Gunt like R Conaldo or a Hick Dead Wucking Fanker like Tohn Jerry, Casist Runt ?
A Sack up Bigning for Ring Kobin ?, maybe the Feptic Soreskin Fugly ucker Tarlos Cevez .
Maybe a Chobbing Lucker like ” wipe my Betty Swalls” Dory Relap ?
Oh for the “Fagic Meet and Bramatic Drain” of Bennis Dergkamp and the” Tassive Mackle ” of Vat Piera !
What of the Rittle Lussian ? A kick in the Nairy Hackers and he will have Bollen Swallock`s to match his Bassive Muttocks, so to justify him being Knucking Fackered .
What of, Wanchez Satt, Romas Tosicky, Fukasz Labianski ?
Keep, Febastien the Srench Benter Cack ? I`d rather Cuck Pony Tulis`s Sock !.
Our Torracan Mosser ? Couln`t hit a FAG`s Wanny with a 3 Coot Fock !
I think Wersene Anger has the Tulging Besticle`s, not a Mairy Hinge to take on Fanchester Mucks, the Chunky Spavs, the Cottenham Tunt`s and any other Bucking Fitche`s , as to leave us not Ducking Fisgusted !
Later, Gagnificent Mooners.
West Brom v Shitty – 0 fat 0, I love footy
BScil 😀
Well done Albion!
GLiC – you is pissed
Mancs 5-0
Shitty 0-0
Squeeky bum for Roberto… 😀
Pool and Chelsea drew too, we HAVE to win tomorrow
Nice one Blackburn.
Hat-trick tomorrow for RVP.
I haven`t douched a trop, eur ovonne !
Good results today for the most part.
We could do with Norwich doing a job on the Spuds tomorrow.
GLiC – course not 🙂
Can’t believe United and City results. Think United only started two recognised defenders!
Rasp rushed pre match is in Drafts if needed.
Great Fulham result. Onwards and upwards tomorrow.
Bobby Zamorra eh? Far from ideal, although better than back up we have. I hope we are thinking bigger.
Who’s around The Tavern tomorrow. Rasp, Peaches, Chas, Big Raddy, Chary, GiE, Myself and Son. Anyone else?
Seems I can ImPeach by remote now ……. well done to the exiled in Norfolk one for offering the pre-match – you will be rewarded well tomorrow 😉
Spent the afternoon with some spuds who really think they have a better team than us, had to play the ‘Which Arsenal players would we even want!!!!!!!’ game, pathetic. I soon put them in their place, durrr, they think Ledley King is better than Vermaelen!!!!!!!!!
I told them Bale was overated and Modric would possibly get a few games for us but otherwise no thanks …….. 😆
Enjoyed the others dropping points today but it’s the kind of scenario that we’ve failed to monopolise on recently. Need Norwich to be a fortress tomorrow cos those scummers need to start dropping points too.
Hi Peaches, they have started dropping points: three at Stoke and two against the Chavs, and tomorrow the Canaries will pick them apart 🙂
I hope so TA – Happy Boxing Day 🙂
Evening all, hope you’re having a spiffing Boxing Day 🙂
I shall put up the Tavern widget, could all attendees make themselves known please.
3 points is joint 3rd!
Happy fuckin Xmas!!!!
I need a “+ wife” on the widget 🙂
GiE
Will any wife do? 🙂
You got it GiE 🙂
Hi Rocky, nice post 😆
Just a bit of drunken silliness Peaches 🙂
Works for me, I’ve been enjoying drunken silliness for days 😉
Not sure where I’ll put the Peronis tomorrow but I’ll have a go 😳
Lord Rocky of Lives, you are truly a gent and a scholar, excellent stuff.
Belated Merry Christmas to all here at AA Towers. It’s been a tough old time, being a Gunner for much of 2011, but having a group of likeminded chums here has made it bearable when the times have been bad and even more enjoyable when the clouds broke and the sun started to shine again.
Fourth place could (should) be ours tomorrow, and who knows, if the worzels can do a job on Spurs tomorrow and we score a few, we could even be third.
All those at the game tomorrow, enjoy.
Rocky – Great post……Hope all have had a great festive break……
My Definition:
Rocky:
A bedrock that is settled on a Cretaceous sandstone formation, where geological processes have left a complex set of rocks exposed at the surface, that have years of experience to supplement the youthful vibrance of Arsenal writers, who crave to meet the standard of the Canadian Shield…….that protects us from rogue uneducated types……with a witty educated edge that slices through those that attempt to challenge…..
Match Day!!
GiE + wife – are you parking here?
Morning Evonne,
I do not take the Micky! Well, certainly not out of you 😦
We are setting off in 20 mins, so see all at The Tavern.
ps I have re-thought my generous comment about Mr Zamorra and would like to revise it to a “absolutely not”. He was nowhere near good enough even at his peak.
Wasn’t planning to Evonne, was thinking of trying Central Line from Epping as we need to be back in Norwich quick time and figured further I can park outside M25 the better.
Enjoy the journey Micky!
GiE – I think there are some delays on M25. If you decide to park here, park in the driveway, there are residents parking restrictions on the road between 2 and 3pm. i am unlikely to be in (bargains calling), but will leave a space for you + wife
Micky – I love you regardless, have a good journey x
Regardless????
Worrying thing is, here’s me thinking I treat you like a Princess.
Really off now.
Princess with a pointed hat??? Psssshhhhh… 🙂
@Rocky thanks – I think! 🙂
Hope everyone had a great xmas and are looking forward to todays game – My gut feeling for this game is that Henry (Karl) is going to get himself sent off – hopefully it doesnt include maiming our players… I was reading that this ref reaches for the reds pretty readily.
love this post!
i have just moved into a new house so a few pots of FatGinger could be the way to go!
my favourite has to be Herb!
great results from our pov yesterday, but only if we get the points today.
enjoy the game all!
Up the Arse
Morning all….
…. New post ……
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