Some time ago I wrote a post about my best ever Arsenal Eleven, I think it was during another interlull, or maybe the phoney window. I promised a post for Peaches and without anything new to write about I have decided to kind of rehash that premise. Someone mentioned recently that a better use for cloning Dolly the Sheep would have been to clone Tony Adams.
I’ll go one further, with £100m plus in the bank and a Russian billionaire at our disposal, and the promise by Gazidis of more investment in our Academy and training facilities I have a cunning plan, one that will see us dominate the leagues for many years to come. Micky has created Arsenaldom so any human rights or cruelty issues should not be an issue.
The plan is a genetic cloning facility to be built at Colney a very specific clone that gives us great players in every position. We can call it London Cloney and it will be our Area51.
The key to this plan is that every player will be interchangeable, so injuries will never affect us again. We can have a few different recipes for different positions. My suggestions are as follows:
Keeper – there is only one Seaman so we can get cracking on that one easy, should be easy to get Dave to contribute to the cause.
Defender: The slide tackle of Winterburn, the heading of Bould, the heart of Adams, the harassment of Keown, the grace of O’Leary, the stare of Lauren.
Midfield: The tackling of Viera, the runs of Freddie, the vision of Bergkamp, the timing of Cesc, the cross of Limpar.
Forwards: the instinct of Wrighty and everything else from Thierry.
Now obviously we will need a birthing mother for these clones and whilst I know there are a few ladies who visit this site that would jump at the chance of gathering the DNA required I figured we should not stop the process here.
So enter laboratory left the Arsenal Ladies all conquering team for the last decade or two.
This is the future my friends, or about as likely as expecting an influx of £200k per week footballers from around the globe. Either way we will get the team everyone is calling for and we will see Arsenal not just challenge for but win every trophy every year, that’ll make it worth supporting them again, won’t it?
Written by Gooner in Exile
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Ha ha ha, very good GiE, I reckon we’d need some of our very best supporters cloned too, you know, those with the loudest voices …………………..I’m volunteering you and Harry 🙂
(I copied these two comments over from my the last post). Will read GiE post now.
Morning all,
I am with BR on this on. Nobody makes it to the very top in football without a winning mentality – an ability to fight harder than others. Top footballers do not just choose a career for money, it just does work like that: they have to give it their all to get anywhere near the top. But there might be other factors, like injuries, a bad atmosphere between a number of players, players wanting to leave (and other players knowing that there fellow players will be leaving), a negative crowd, etc, etc that have a negative impact on a player’s motivation/ abiltiy to fight for the team. I just don’t think it is as easy as saying some players have a fighting spirit and others have not.
Should Arsene have one to ones with players in order to get the best out of them, or shout at them before and during the game, in front of everyone? They are professionals and if Arsene would spot a real, rather than perceived, lack of motivation he is likely to deal with in a one to one. I think he is rock-hard when he comes to the conclusion that a player is not giving their very best for us: that player will be out of the door in no time.
If Ferguson is such an effective motivator as many believe, why is it they performed so poorly away last season? The real motivator for MU is the home crowd.
And why did he lose top-top players like Stam, vNistelrooy and Beckham? Give me Arsene anytime.
You would have to put in there the defensive nous of Frank McLintock and I would prefer the tough tackling of Peter Storey.
A great idea nonetheless. Can we afford to wait about eighteen years though?
GIE. Great idea – get working on it.
Plus
The irreverance of Charlie George.
The left foot of Liam Brady.
The aerial ability of John Radford.
The pace of Anelka and Overmars
To be continued ……
GiE,
Excellent. Until the science gets its shit together and up to speed, how about micro-implant-electric-shockers where the manager can release a pulse at the first sign of lack of effort.
Be aware Andrei!
The all-round package of Bobby Pires
Hi GiE, that is hilarious! 😛
Well done for giving us the vision of a Brave New Arsenal. This might well be the future of youth development football, so let’s sign-up 100year+ contracts for exclusive rights to the DNA of the players you mentioned, right now. Let’s not forget to sign up Arsene too. Obviously a single hair will do, but why deny the AA ladies their opportunity of a lifetime?? 😀
TA,
That’s quite a thought. Buying up rights to someones’ DNA.
You missed Davor Suker’s left foot off your forwards list, or you could use RvP’s. Probably the only say you could improve the mixture of Henry and Wrighty.
Micky, it is, isn’t it? We at AA should put some money together and set up a company that buys and preservers Arsenal top footballers’ DNA. Look at the name of our blog: it is simply our destiny!!
I thought for a minute we should buy the DNA rights of other top footballers as well, but it would just get Messi! 😀
FGG agreed, and we need Eboue sense of humor, teeth/smile and ability to walk very fast whilst straight as a sausage!
Morning all…and sorry it was last minute and not a debate starter I know. That said thanks for going with it. 😀
TA Eboues smile when coupled with Laurens stare will confuse many opponents, I like it!
Just read that Ox got a hatrick for the U21s…. sweet!
I would add for the defenders:
leap of Vermaelen
strength of Campbell
was also thinking of adding the height of Mertesacker…
lead me to this thought – whos the tallest player ever for the Arsenal?
Pat. Don’t know – who is it?
The hair of Petit.
The determination of George Armstrong
The Arsenal blood of Pat Rice.
heh – was hoping you might know Rads…
Have we added “the heart of Wilshere”
I was guessing Mertesacker “was up there” if you pardon the pun… but I don’t know either…
The shrug of Grimaldi, the goal celebration of Wright, and the self-belief of UberNiklas
Interesting stuff GiE.
If ime not mistaken, clones only have a short life span, r.e. Dolly the sheep. It would be great to clone someone like Thiery Henry, but we would only get one season out of him before he snuffs it. Knowing our luck something would go horribly wrong anyway and instead of Henry we would get Jeff Blockley, and he would probably last about 25 years.
@ GiE
good idea, and im glad my comment inspired you some what.
great lineup where do i buy shares?
how about the stamina of flamini, the poise of Rocastle, the grit of parlour and give every player a piece of seamans dna so they can grow porn moustaches with long pony tails.
Cool avatar Oz – especially the touch of uniqueness in it.
cheers TA, for someone reason i thought you only get one for writing a post haha
Mertesacker is 198cms , 6’6″ tall, but Arsenal did have a youth team goalkeeper, Michael Jordan who was 208cms, 6′ 10″ tall.
Haha, GIE,
How about Nigel Winterburn’s right foot?
OZ, true but you will ‘use’ the digital batch with more pride now!
Glad McLintock got a mention = Lifelong Gooner. But I would eradicate all memory of O,Leary. Sung to the tune of firestarter, arsenal hater.
Feed the Ox
http://www.youtube.com/england#p/u/1/w0FYwiPfgaw
awesome interview – very talented, intelligent young man!
@VCC
Yeah that memory of O’Leary celebrating when Leeds had ruined our chances of winning the league – I’ll never forgive him for that.
Surely we could add just a few strands of GG’s DNA to AW. I would go for the whisky drinking threads. I do think waking up on a saturday morning with a crashing hangover might add some bite to his pre-matchers.
Nice one GIE,
so many to mention as been applicable to lining up for cloning their traits……..
Un surprisingly you go for a thoroughbred version of Seaman in Goal, if i was to blend many into one…..
Seaman, ability and positioning, Jennings Handling, the bravery of wilson and the confidence of Szczesny…….
I agree with those that have ousted O’leary, who managed to damage a legend status that looked bullet proof……
So would go for the organisational ability and desire of big Frank, the spirit and heart of adams, harassment of Keown, the composure of Vermaelen and the recovery of Toure in his pomp….
Midfield – The drive and power of vieira, the left foot of brady, the movement of Ljungberg, the composure and vision of Cesc, the skill of pires and the engine from Romford……..
Forward – Vision of Bergkamp, the finishing ability of Wrighty and the speed and skill of Henry………finished nicely with the heading of Radford.
As for the Manager?
Tactics of GG
Philiosphy of Wenger
Vision of Chapman
Harry can you put Jennings in there? I like him but I think his heart is down the road where he does pre match corporates and stuff.
Forgot to add some heading to the Forward concotion, Radders would be a great choice for his ability to hang in the air as much as anything else, how would he have faired today one wonders with lighter boots and firm ground underfoot. If we’rte adding in another player to the mix what about the physique of Kevin Campbell to add some beef to the mix.
O’Leary isn’t the only one putting the boot in, to be fair I think he chases the media buck now he is out of management and he was always a bit bitter he didn’t get to come back to manage us I think.
People are suggesting McLintock but as much as he is Arsenal he is not shy of putting the boot in to the current team and manager, and hasn’t been for quite a few years.
And to ensure we can afford any external player we want, let’s have a bit of the DNA of Peter Storey’s printing press for printing forged bank notes 🙂
Very funny and eccentric post GiE. What are they putting in the water in Norwich these days?
Could things get any worse.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-15213346
@ kelsey
bloody hell you had me worried there. I thought ‘shit oxo has injured himself in training’ It’s bad when injuries blight us that much we can never really enjoy internationals
@ TA
it is all the sweeter
@GIE – For me Jennings although one of them down the road, he has a respect for us and doesnt get embroiled in things like O’leary who for me is a Tawt of the highest order on par with Cashley and Na$ri………..and he has the biggest shovels in footie………
Big Frank, is a gooner through and through, he speaks his heart and wants the best for us, he does wind me up a bit, I do wish all of these ex players remember their comments are used to heap pressure on us and were a tad more discrete…….
Yeah Super Kev had a great Physique to bustle through……….
Cracking post GiE. Had me thinking… if only. Great shout for Lauren’s stare, that was a massive but often overlooked factor in our Invincible season. Beyond that Lauren was also a very good footballer.
The pics of Lauren in a boxing ring that Chas once put up …brilliant.
Lol OZ, it’ll soon be me as the only without a gravatar. I don’t really understand them, and it’s a bit embarrassing when we have septagenarians on here with gravatars and I still only have that ‘thingy’. I’m sticking to my Luddite guns for now though.
And yes, whilst I’ve stil got the Fordicus Capri on loan, I’m still the Commander of the Fleet !!!
Yes it’s all a bit of light-hearted fun, but has no-one read the assinine comments of our CEO.
Speaking yesterday he said ” Arsenal could still compete financialy with their rivals if they missed out on a Champions League spot”.
Does Gazidis think that we are competing financialy with our rivals now? Wenger apparantly doesn’t, does anyone?
The Champions League was worth around £26 million last season, could we compete without that sort of money.
Would our top players hang around if they were offered Europa league football or worse?
Would the fans continue to pay sky high prices for their season tickets?
What does Gazidis’ comments say about the clubs ambitions?
Watch out fellow Gooners, mediocrity beckons!
Lifelong,
I’m sure I’m not the only one here getting an email this week offering seats in a Box from £110!! I can’t remember what % of match revenue is made up from corporate, but its massive. I cannot believe for a minute that Gazidis can possibly think we wouldn’t be hit very hard without CL Football.
LG. What is your alternative?
Micky. Is that true? Which matches are they for?
BR Hi,
Let me check my inbox.
BR,
Ticketfinders can exclusively offer individual tickets in a 12 seat Executive Box which can be purchased with or without a full range of hospitality for Arsenal Home matches this season.
Here are a list of upcoming fixtures:
16th October Sunderland PL £175 each ticket only
3rd October Stoke PL £175 each ticket only
25th October Bolton Wanderers CC £110 each ticket only
1st November Marseille CL £150 each ticket only
5th November W.B.A PL £175 each ticket only
Kroenke must end his feud with Usmanov, invite him onto the board and develop a working relationship with him so that both can find ways to invest in the club.
Maybe the pair of them could then appoint a CEO who understands that there is more to running a successful football club than the ability to read a set of accounts.
Wenger has been working with one hand tied behind his back ever since Gazidis arrived.
LG. I accept the first para but not the second and third.
Assuming IG has nothing to do with the purchasing policy of AFC (there are others who take that responsibility) I think he is doing well.
The club are finally expanding into Asia, we are profitable and ahead of schedule on the stadium debt. IG is not interfering into the onfield area and in response to fans pressure has started to speak out, yet when he does he gets slated.
Financially, we remain a Top 10 team in world football despite the influx of billionaires. In these terms he is doing what he is paid a huge amount to do.
Micky. Thanks. If it includes free food and as much as I can drink, it appears to be a good offer. Fancy it?
Chelsea fans are up in arms about the proposed move away from Stamford Bridge.
A spokesman said: you just can’t bulldoze 5 years of history.
BR,
What’s wrong with the to biggest shareholders working together?
Why do you assume that Gazidis has nothing to do with purchasing policy? Are there others who take that responsibility? If so aren’t they responsible to Gazidis? He is the CEO after all.
Do you really think Wenger has had a free hand with purchases? If so how come we are regularly out-bid for Wenger’s targets? We went for Mata and got Arteta.
His comments, when he makes any, are so transparent that only wearers of the most opaque of rose tinted spectacles can’t see through them.
Being a financial top ten team is hardly relevant when we are not even in the top ten of The Premiership.
In these terms, is he doing what he is paid a huge amount to do?
LG, the thing we need to assess the recent Gazidis quote is what (if any) was the question he was responding to?
My assumption:
Will failure to qualify for CL have an effect on future transfers?
Answered as he did
LG,
We are not necessarily “outbid” it may simply be that we reach the limit of our valuation of a player.
It’s a nice idea to get kroenke and Usmanov to work together but the fact is they are rivals; two extremely competative men who both want to individually own the club out right.
I wish someone could come up with an easy way to explain this persistant Mata question becasue the fact that Abramovic does not run Chelsea on a self sustaing basis where as we do is clearly not as satifying an answer as people require.
@Peaches, you say the nicest things!!!!!!!
GiE,
Read the article, it’s on the BBC Sport Football page.
gunnern5,
Really?
London – I have been saying all along that the reason Abramobitch chose that particular club was because of the location. I was and still am in no doubt that he will recoup all of his money be selling the grounds. Exteremely cunning, but that’s why he is considerably richer than most.
The Chavs who are not happy about the move can go and star.star.somehting rude. They were happy enough when he was buying them the trophies and they forgot that nothing is free in this world.
SK and the Fat Bloke working together? Nah.
BR,
I think we will be out of that top 10 without CL football in double quick time.
SirSharkilusSure got me thinking about those Ralphie boxing pics and this was the result…..
The stare
Even sitting down he looks mean
Put any left winger’s face on that bag
The kind of tackling we need
I didn’t touch him ref
Duncan was a nice man
Clone the lot of ’em
Fancy a Double?
Fighting spirit
We don’t crowd round the ref like we used to.
Freddie making a late run
What a goal
A fine midfield
Impossible for Bobby to not look cool
Dennis liked it
Cloned already
Diamond geezers
G.O.D.
G.O.D. “Cmon”
Get in
Man or machine?
BFG
Who’s harder?
…or
Feed the Ox
GiE – and there is me saying what a sensible young man you are! You are as mad as that prince Micky!
How many great footballers have sons that are great footballers too?
I know of Gudjohnson and his dad, Szczesnys, Redknapps, any others? SWP is not blood relative of IW, so no genetic carry on. Who else?
Becks reckons his daughter will be a great footballer, clearly his boys don’t appear to be gifted 😳
Hi evonne 🙂
Hi Peaches! Girls do always better than boys, but unfortunately men run faster
Sorry chas, all those links sent you into spam but I’ve released you 🙂
Sharkey – check chas’ comment at 6.53
Theo starting for England and one of my other favourites too – come on Dazza
evonne:
Frank Lampard Snr & Jnr
Brian & Nigel Clough
Cesare & Paolo Maldini
Johan & Jordi Cruyff
Vic Groves and Perry Groves.
Well, they both played for The Gunners.
I’m seriously considering watching some rugger this weekend. What time England France and Ireland Wales.
N5 – oh yeah, the other great goal keeper and his son…..blond..Schmaikel
Wales Ireland 6:00
Enland France 8:00
For anyone interested, followed by a great punch up between S.Africa and Australia on sunday morning.
Micky – that’s bit drastic! watch some old DVD of our glory days
Hi and Bye Evonne.
My son wants the laptop for the footie. I can’t be bothered to watch it.
Catch you in the morning.
Kiss kiss Micky.
kiss kiss 🙂 you are something different altogether xx
Great, great pictures Chas. Many thanks!
G5, impressive father-son combinations!
http://www.101greatgoals.com/videodisplay/park-chuyoung-(2)-poland-15518803/
A slippery surface in Rotterdam and RvP is playing. Fingers crossed!
Brilliant cross from Theo, for Young, 1-nil England 🙂
LG. We disagree and I am fine with that. To me IG’s sole job is to make AFC as financially sound as possible.
Yes, AFC have a man specifically employed to deal with transfers – can’t remember his name.
You are right in that the buck ultimately stops at IG’s desk. After this summer’s debacle I would expect some changes to be made.
Would you prefer IG got involved in pitch matters? Of course not – he is employed to maximise profits. One cannot judge him on what is not his remit. If we are not top 10 on the pitch , blame AW and his players.
Micky. You are right, but as of today we are!
Do you think If I were to reinvent studs for football boots the Modern pros could stay on their feet when we have a bit of rain it is painfull watching the England team slide all over the place
LG I have read the article, it is pretty much the same quotes everywhere, there are a couple of quotes that make me think he was answering questions not just spouting out stuff for the fun of it.
One bit of body to an article says “he declined to comment on the future of RvP”. You see what I am saying it is being used by Arsenal fans to claim he doesn’t care or doesn’t understand football, but all he is doing is answering questions put to him, and to me it’s an answer that stops even more pressure being heaped on the team and the manager.
If he says “failure to qualify will be a financial disaster” what would the headlines have been then?
RvP did not score tonight, but also did not get injured 🙂
Whos in goal for Poland tonight, if it’s Fab I’m guessing he is giving Park some confidence…..bless 🙂
Only watched the second half but England have been dull, dull dull
You switched off before the paragon of virtue that is Wayne Rooney decided to liven things up then..?
I’ve not seen it yet…how bad was his kick..??
I believe Rooney Snr had a big bet on there being at least one sending off in the Montenegro-England game.
@Danny. Nice to see someone else remembers the turn coat traitor o,leary.
Rooney at 3:17
Not a good start in the rugby.
Re: Rooney. HIs behaviour was mystifying, his sending off cost 2 points and in another game could have been immensely costly – think Becks v Argies. And he knew immediately that he would get a red.
He should be tarred and feathered, then hung, drawn and quartered
I’m just preparing the tar 🙂
Hi Raddy – missed you, where did you go last week?
Morning all
i’ll take the quartering duties, i would get great satisfaction. I’ve hated him ever since the rocket he scored against us while playing for everton.
Fejo – a tiny island off the Danish coast. Very peaceful and very beautiful with no TV or internet which was just as well – not only for the game but more for the aftermath of Spudgloating
@ Kelsey
great read, always enjoy you’re intelligent insight
Kelsey. You are entitled to your opinions and there can be little doubt much of what you say is correct, but not all.
What would you like to wager and what is the time period?
Morning kelsey – your Saturday morning musings could have been a post.
I too am worried about the financial state of the club and I’m not convinced that our self-sustainable model is actually working. If we were balancing our books efficiently all the money from property sales would be extra profit. It looks like we need that money to run the club at the moment so the question is can Gazidis negotiate deals for the naming rights that will add enough to the coffers if indeed in the present economic climate it’s possible. That ‘bunce’ needs to come from somewhere doesn’t it?
Hi Raddy
what do you mean when you say..
What would you like to wager and what is the time period?
make it a post peaches, nothing else going on of interest. 😉
What’s the wager Raddy? That the club is in trouble financially or that the team will come good? That RvP and Theo will desert us next year or that Ox and Park will push us on? That Kroenke is involved in Arsenal because he loves the club or that he’s just waiting for Usmanov to offer the right price?
How long?
@ peaches
good idea, do a rasp and extract it because that’ll get some great debate going. And with kelsey you are going to get great rebuttals
Raddy the Holiday King!
Yes Peaches, make it a post
Have to be somewhere else now kelsey 😉 can I keep it until tomorrow – gonna need more time if I’m going into battle with BigRaddy 😆
We have a post from gunnern5 today …………….
ooooggghhhh…GunnerN5’s post, how interesting..
kelsey – I’ll sort it out for tomorrow if that’s ok xx
New Post …………………….
Morning all interesting take on it all Kelsey, re: buying from within PL, after watching Cahill last night I’m not sure it’s a solution.
You raise Arteta question, but also there was Scott Parker that everyone thought we should buy, he is 30/31 what contract would people have suggested we gave him.
Buying from within the PL does not necessarily work either, is there the talent pool outside of the Big 5 (6 if we include Spuds) which would give us better than we actually signed in the window? Let’s be honest the only reason we could buy Arteta for a reasonable fee was the recent announcement of Everton’s financial plight.
And then there is a contradiction, you bemoan the signing of Arteta at 29 on a 4 year deal, but worry about losing a similarly aged player in RvP.
The over 30 policy was always very clear, it was never about players having a contract into their 30’s it was about offering the over 30 player with contract expiring any more than one year contract extensions. Was never a problem for DB10.
GIL
we are leaving this debate until tomorrow “peaches has spoken”
I am aware Kelsey that’s why I didn’t copy it into new thread. I was composing reply before Peaches had declared.
fun photo…
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