It’s common knowledge that the surly, German-loving Glaswegian refuses to talk to certain media outlets (especially after a defeat when, like a snivelling coward he’ll send out the assistant manger to face the press) but even then the rest of the media are perpetually currying favour with him, laughing at feeble quips like “If the Italians say it’s pasta, I’ll look under the sauce” (said before a Champions League game in Italy.) Pardon me; the new Oscar Wilde has split my sides permanently.
Naturally when someone is smart back to him Fergie is less than happy; remember Ken Bates attempting to present him with a medallion inscribed “Lord Fergie – the best thing since sliced bread” at a Wembley cup final?
It’s not just the referees that are held in thrall by Fergie but the raft of managers in the Premier League who have Old Toilet connections, mainly as ex-players, although to our good fortune we have thankfully lost a number of ex-mank managers, such as Paul “The Governor (!)” Ince, Mark “I’m at City for the long haul” Hughes and Roy “Prawn sandwich” Keane with only Steve Bruce remaining.
Aside from the ex-players we have Fergie acolytes who attach themselves to him and vicariously bask in his reflected glory, such as Fat Sam “Walrus-face” Allardyce (seen sucking up to Lord Fergie at the Aintree races the day after Bayern dumped them put of Europe) and Alex “Ginger nuts” McLeish. Managers like them are those who have taken as the only way to play us from the infamous game where the Neville sisters took it in terms to rotationally kick J A Reyes out of the game and, ultimately, back to Iberia.
”Get in their faces, kick them off the park and Arsenal will have no answer” was probably first said by the Highland Malt man and all round euro-diplomat.
Legend has it that Ferguson and McLeish spoke before the Birmingham away fixture in the 2007-08 season and you can just imagine those words ringing out in the home dressing room at St Andrews on that fateful day just over two years ago. Those instructions having a special resonance for one Martin Taylor, and similarly so for Shawcross whose manager is another one who thinks ridiculing Wenger will ingratiate himself to Fergie.
Having therefore placed himself in an unassailable place in which the media and FA give him undue deference and having plenty of Fergie “mini me”s within the ranks of other premier league managers he can do no wrong.
For example Fergie brings in the serial crock (and horse racing trainer who plays a little football between spells on the physios couch) Owen who then manages three league goals in nineteen appearances and it’s a master stroke, yet Wenger signing big Sol on a pay as you play is a sure fire sign of the “Nutty professor” in charge at our club having “lost the plot” – you can always bank on the gutter press to load every article about us with an EU quota of clichés and, to be fair to them, utter bollocks.
The same goes for Fergie’s gamble on Shreks fitness in the Manks final Champions League fixture – he’ll say “No chance to play” but then miraculously the Dreamworks character is showing the recovery powers of a biblical one, Lazarus.
Do I know why Fergie acts in the way he does? As an amateur shrink I can only guess his inferiority complex (as evidenced by his need to undermine all his competitors on a personal level) comes from an upbringing where every verbal exchange was a quarrel and such a tough environment would probably give little chance for personal growth and quiet contemplation.
He has only ever worked in the UK and while travel broadens the mind being an “Island monkey”, as continentals would label Fergie, has created his insular, narrow-minded outlook. A manager who Fergie would do well to look at for an example of how a British manager can act with exemplary good grace is Roy Hodgson, who by no coincidence has worked in many countries. While I disagree with (and am frustrated by) a number of things that our managers does, I can see a well-travelled and rounded individual that represents our club with honour and dignity.
So if you hear that Fergie has the touch of one of James Earl Jones’ roles about him, you know it is more likely to be a whiskey-soaked dose of Rab C.
Let’s hope he doesn’t mention the war.
By our guest writer charybdis1966
Thanks chary for your post, another excellent rant at the scot and his followers.
Alfa put the following post up this morning – an invitation to be part of Bob Wilsons Charity Quiz – have a look.
Bob Wilson World Cup Charity Quiz Night
Join quiz master, former Arsenal & Scotland goalkeeper, Bob Wilson, as you pit your wits against friends, family and colleagues. Teams of 6 to 8 people are invited to take part. Supper will be provided on the night.
The event takes place between on Monday 26 April 2010 from 6.45pm – 11.00pm at Sopwell House, Cotton Mill Lane, St Albans.
Tickets: £20 each (entrants must be 18 years or over)
To purchase tickets, please contact the Community Fundraising Team:
E: fundraising@willowfoundation.org.uk
T: 01707 259777
Click here to view the event flyer.
Arsenal News 24/7
arsenalarsenal.net 
Morning all, I reckon the FA should launch a conflict of interest investigation into the way Fat Sam celebrated with Fergie at Aintree yesterday – that can’t be right, in so many ways.
Of course he’ll be under orders from Sir Drinksalot to kick us even higher up into the air on the 1st of May.
Morning all
Excellent rant chary – always fun to read. Will the manks want to come and chat today I wonder 😉
No pictures today as rasps PC is on the blink but hopefully he’ll be along later.
Morning chary – they’ll be able to renew their friendship tomorrow as Blackburn entertain the manks.
I mentioned yesterday how hard they fought to win a point against the chavs a couple of weeks ago – will tomorrow see that kind of contest???
Well done London – it was a good call that the club would annouce that van Persie could feature against spuds next week after we went out of the champs lge and I’ve just noticed NN are full of it 😉
Peachy, I reckon Walrus face will send out his stiffs and make them roll over & die for Fergie’s mob.
Sure, they’ll pretend to try for the first half, but they’ll cave in around 55 minutes and concede 3 or 4 to Old Toilet FC.
That’s my prediction.
What a total load of w*nk. The sad thing is I think you believe all you write. people like you really add so much to the internet. tit.
And yet Wayne, you felt compelled to post a comment.
The more comments and hits the better.
Cheers mate ! 🙂
Morning Wayne – guess you’re a mank then …….
How is Cornwall this sunny morning Wayne, and is Waynetta fine ?
Funnily enough, Fergie doesn’t bother me as much as he used to. A bit like Roy Keane towards the end, he’s still a dangerous opponent but doesn’t have the same aura as he used to. He can still do a lot of damage but he can’t buy his way out of trouble any more, doesn’t have a ‘Class of ’99’ group of youngsters coming through and his strategies (the mind games etc.) don’t seem to be working any more. Would the old Fergie have played Rooney? Or would he have just said ‘we’ve got loads of world class players, we don’t need to play an injured one’?
Wayne, if you come back on, tell us what you think of Arsene.
Morning alfa
I still think theres a bit the old school about him and his cronies. Like chary I don’t expect Blackburn to go for it tomorrow, mind you the manks have been pretty poor lately so maybe they won’t be able to help themselves.
Morning Alfa – I see what you mean to an extent, Fergie is not the threat he was as he can no longer spend his way out of trouble but his pettiness hasn’t stopped. The unholy triumvirate of Fergie-Ince-Keane are about as detestable a collection of sports people as was possible.
Amazing post Charry well done, you’ve covered his good points, now what dont you like about him? LOL
I agree he is still the spiritual leader of the ‘it’s a man’s game, win at all costs’ brigade but as the sun is out and I’m feeling unusually balanced, he did also bring us Ryan Giggs and David Beckham, both of whom I would have been happy to see play for us (despite the pain that semi-final goal brings every May when they show it again and again).
Did you see him celebrating his horse winning yesterday? Bayern seemed a long way from his thoughts.
Good one Dandan – in an odd way I worry about his retirement as I’ll have no one to vent my spleen at.
Alfa – I reckon the true reason for Sir Drinksalot signing of Owen is now apparent – to be his guide at race days like Aintree yesterday as it seems that is their main interest nowadays.
Manskum Utd ? A side issue.
Chary, I always wondered whether there was some connection between Owen’s fascination with horseracing and him not really fulfilling his potential. I know about the injuries etc. but it always seemed like a major distraction.
They are certainly a pair well matched now.
Alfa, I reckon Owen realised his playing days were numbered and he was best off getting himself another vocation.
Perhaps Owen can have hi scontract renewed as an advisor rather than a player?
You are right charry to talk of Fergies Govern upbringing having been the major contributor in forming his character. After all he was a shop steward in the shipyard there in his pre-football days.
Shop stewards are normally aggressive power seekers. Petty officials who look to improve there own position in comparison with the bosses they profess to challenge, whilst pretending it is for the people they represent. (ie Arthur Scargill).
This can easily be seen in Fergie in his insistence on only traveling first class to first class hotels and his love of owning and racing horses, long the playground of the establishment.
Another trait of petty officials is the need to be recognised and the absolute refusal to countenance any criticism, which in Fergies to a tee and results in an instant ban. A trigger reflex he cannot control
Sam on the other hand is a completely blank canvas incapable of coherent thought, a kicker throughout his own career in this “mans Game, contact sport” a genius at incoherent rage, a sycophant rather than a disciple who hides his own shortcomings behind an army of assistants.
I hate the Arse.com ticket website-it shows an area as having some tickets available and when you select just one ticket it rejects it and says “please try to request a smaller number of seats”.
GGGrrrrr…
Chary, he could be the next Mick Channon 🙂
Peaches, thanks again for including the Bob Wilson quiz night material. Got to shoot.
PS RvP back for Spurs? Surely not, I think London called that one correctly.
Good points Dandan – I was angling at that in my post but you’ve explained it better. I think Fergie is fast becoming the embarrassing Uncle who shoots his mouth off at family events and causes discomfort to everyone else.
Does anyone see an “End of an era” feel at Old Toilet, or is it just wishful thinking?
Decent article ‘cherry B’ and just about sums up old whisky nose very well indeed. Him and that fat slum pit Allardyce have always got on to well for my liking and I bet Blackbum will roll over on Sunday. After all, the fat Walrus has to ensure old whisky nose continues to invite him to all the best events.
I loved the way he called Bayern Munich ‘typical Germans’ and ‘cheats’ Mmmmmm, let he who cast the first stone eh?
Anyway, lets hope Pompey rough up the Spuds on Sunday and even put them out. Oh how loud would Ilaugh? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Its a rather cruel attack on Rab C, who is a far more principled character. You wouldnt find him hob nobbing with the rich at Aintree. And he would have even less time for the Glazers
Cheers Brigham – I’m hoping that Pompey are so desperate for a Cup final place to help their desperate financial position that they’ll give the Spuds one hell of a game. A win for Pompey after extra time would suit me fine and I will smile like I did on Wednesday night.
Ah yes Padre, LOL I guess it was a bit unfair to compare Rab C, I may have slighted him unfairly!
You are right about how it is another bit of hypocrisy for a former shop steward to be so keen on such an elitist activity.
chary – if you haven’t seen this already have a read, you’ll love it
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article7092400.ece
LOL Peachy – I could have written the first half of that!
This is what I called delibrate targeting
‘‘Since August 2002, Arsenal has suffered 138 more injuries than Chelsea to first team squad members. In the same period, Arsenal has suffered 86 more injuries than Manchester United.’
2009/10 AFC 79; MUFC 55; CFC 52
2008/09 AFC 74; MUFC 62; CFC 46
2007/08 AFC 60; MUFC 53; CFC 42
Jason, you can thank the Allardyce’s & McLeish’s of the world for that kind of anti-football, cowardly tackling. I think it’s a load of crud when people say “It’s a mans game, it’s a physical contact sport” – how is it manly to take out someone from behind with a snide, studs up challenge. That’s not bravey that’s as cowardly as a drunk hitting his wife and children.
Chary, unfortunately they’ll keep kicking us until we get a real hard man or two in the team – although I don’t see that happening any time soon. We’ll be heading in the upward direction of Barcelona, not down into the sewers occupied by the Blackburns and Stokes of this world.
RockyL – we seem to have a little more steel this season with the Verminator and the emergence of Song, but we do need a bit of the fear factor back, e.g. a Paddy type to exact retribution on the likes of the Shawcrosses and Taylors of the world.
Quiet today – eveyone must be out enjoying the sun.
Back rom the sun to a super rant from Chary. It is good to be home.
Not been able to watch any games and perhaps that has been for the best, though the second half of the Barca home game sounded good.
Chary I should point out that kicking more skillful opponents was not a recent tactic. Leeds 1970 were very tasty (Jack Charlton, Giles, Bremner, Hunter etc etc. And the GG teams were adept at “going through the back” – TA, MK. SB, JJ +++.
Though I agree that we are getting the rough end of the pineapple at the moment, as is proved by our injury record.
Cheers Radders and welcome back.
I think the difference we have is there is specoific rough house tactics in the Premier League against ceertain teams and by certain teams. It’s not a case of there generally being more physicality in the game as there was in the ’70’s, although to be honest I was a mere kid then and maybe I didn’t see that many games.
Thanks Chary. I think there were “fancy Dan” teams in the 70’s, and the tactics were the same. George Best must have had the most kicking of any British player ever. And Pele was continually kicked – in his autobiography he says that it just made him ore determined to make fools of the perpetrators.
We shall see if Messi gets floored in the CL semi’s …. I expect someone t put the frighteners on him !
Welcome back Raddy…. you’ve been missed 😉
Thanks Rasp.
Cold Turkey mid-season is not to be recommended! I was searching everywhere for our results, though of course the Italians were raving about Messi – they expect him to sign for Inter !!
[…] contributor, Chary, also has his fingers in other pies and has written a hilarious rant about Fergie over at Arsenal-Arsenal. Check it […]
Not a huge golf fan but I love the US Masters. Right now, the field is led by two Brits, and one of them an avid Gooner….. Come on Mr Poulter….
Arshavin is on A Question of Sport now
is he in a high chair 🙂
Raddy, welcome back.
Evening Raddy, Rasp and kelsey
If you want Fergie to talk to the BBC let his horse win a race.LOL
The above was Quote from Colin Murray on 5 live
He couldn’t understand a word Sue Barker was saying bless him…..
Hi dandan
where are they all tonight Rasp.
Me? Do you mean me?
I’ve been a gardener today, it was wonderful 😉
Welcome back Raddy, hope you had a great time…..
You are welcome to come and do mine peaches
Evening all – I was quite impressed by Andrey on a question of sport; although if he failed to spot Jack Willshier there would have been hell to pay.
Hi Chary
A fine rant indeed….my own personal deep rooted hatred is aimed at spuds. No mancs picked on me at school but I truly hate the spud bastards who used to make my life hell in the playground.
By the way I missed A Question Of Sport did Arshavin sound like a Meerkat?
My family did not travel half way round the world to bring you cheap car insurance.
Hello London,
When I followed the Arse in a big way in the late 80’s and 90’s I was surrounded by way too many London reds who glory hunted the manks.
Funnily enough I’ve not really encountered many spuds.
Andrey was quite meerkat like, but he said most of his answers briefly.
He didn’t even say “Ah, you son of a mongoose” when they got the “What happened next” round wrong.
Lol
Perhaps it will be on Utube. Good to see the Arse have players of enough interest to get on TV.
Anyone remember Iain Ure? He was a smart cookie – a latter-day Vidic.
As to pet hates – it was the Spuds for many years, but for the past 15 years they have been laughable. I have always hated Leeds with a vengeance but that was due more to their fans than their football (how sweet was 1971!).
Today I have no particular animosity towards any team, more towards managers and football style. Hull, Stoke, B’burn are shite and play shite football. The Chavs are robotic and I would rather watch paint dry (except when they are getting beaten by Inter/Barca). MU are good when the Shrek has the ball, otherwise dull, dull dull.
We are the only team committed to entertaining football. It is one of the main reasons I have nothing but admiration for Mr. Wenger. There were times during the GG years when I considered giving up my ticket, despite the success. It was so damn boring watching Selley, Morrow, Jensen, Hillier, Morrow, Hartson, etc etc. Can you imagine AW signing any of them?
Agree Radders – there is much joy to be had from watching a Chav/Mank defeat.
The Chavs in particular play a very soulless and functional style – I liken them to driving a Japanese car, functionally efficient but with no character.
The manks seem to try a type of “kick and rush.”
Great rant Chary (I’m a bit late catching up)
And totally agree with Hodgson.
Ferguson is still fecking moaning, what a whingebag. Instead of blaming the “typical Germans” he should look at the clowns who stood looking at Robben.
Rant over 🙂
Hope you all like the new colour scheme.
Morning Alfa
Wow, very flashy lettering.
Morning London. You did ask for red 🙂
Chary
When my beloved Tigers won 4 Cups in one year in 1973, U/17’s U/19’s Reserves & Seniors, then next year U/19’s & Seniors, in front of 115,000 people (I was there in the Members) every club & their fans hated us. We won in 1967, 1969, lost the final in 1972, & won the big one in 1980, & lost in 1982. Haven’t looked like it since 😦
RFC were the envy, & looking back, the nasty words about my club were really a compliment. Then everyone plundered the club from the management & players down to the bootstudder.Tonight, soon, I will watch them cop another thrashing. We are the laughing stock & have been for 30 years.
Now I know you don’t like SAF but what you say is a compliment to him, coz his total domination has got to you. With respect to all his mind games, etc. all i can say is it has worked, it has got him success. The alternative is nice guys like Arsene & we all know how SAF has given him the run around.
The best way, the only way to stick it up old sweaty sock is to beat him. Remember the Beckham boot tantrum with SAF, that is one of those times that you know he hurt bad, real bad 😈 But the old bugger has had benefactors who have been able to buy him things so he can get retribution.
The good thing is he is old news now, in the Autumn of his career, & his club are all but bankrupt, & cannot play the bully boy role anymore. Relax chary, I sense change is in the air. Old Frenchie may just have had enough of being the nice guy. We may have 5-10 years of payback time acoming.
Morning Alfa, London, chary,
Wow, the red is really striking …. it stops us looking like many other sites, although it will take some getting used to. Thanks for all your techy expertise Alfa 😉
Rasp, good morning. Glad you like it. Anything can be changed; in fact we probably should freshen it up from time to time. Hopefully it will enhance the blogging rather than distract from it.
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[…] Alex Ferguson–Lord of the Sith or Rab. C Nesbitt? Part II … […]
Carlos Vela is one of the best players around. Nice blog. 🙂
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I found your entry interesting thus I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)…
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Vacuum Breaker…
Alex Ferguson–Lord of the Sith or Rab. C Nesbitt? Part II « Arsenal Arsenal…
elliptical trainers…
Alex Ferguson–Lord of the Sith or Rab. C Nesbitt? Part II « Arsenal Arsenal…