Following on from the news broken by Wrighty7 that the former Newell’s Old Boys player has agreed a 5 year contract with the Ashburton Grove team AA has gained exclusive access to an interview conducted with the pocket sized maestro and his agent Jorge Mendes explaining the reasons for his departure from the team newly sponsored by the Al Thani family of Qatar.
“Speaking to Thierry (Henry) when he was with us, he told me how competitive the nature of the Premier league was and it took my breath away; he told me about the fascinating tactics of teams like Manchester City, it was – how you say “Estacionar el autobús” – I very much want to prove myself against teams like these.”
He went on to say “Here in Spain there is only El Classico, after that the other teams are no challenge, my goals against them feel cheap”
“In England every team fights hard in the Premier League and strikers can be tackled, when they tried that against me, when Thomas (Ujfalusi) tried that in the Atletico game, everyone defended me and all of Spain was horrified to see such a tackle. They tried to ban him for ten months but I laughed because I was back playing in ten days! In England I hear the other team’s players lean over you when you are injured on the floor and abuse you? I want to show how strong I can be in a spot like that.”
It also became apparent that Messi is keen on a reunion with a former team mate, Arsenal legend and mainstay Cesc Fàbregas.
“I speak with my good friend Cesc regularly, he tells me what hard work EVERY league game is and what a challenge playing my style of football is in such a tough environment; of course it’s easy in Spain, no one kicks teams like Barca here. We share the same footballing DNA and I am confident I can show my quality away from Spain. I am tired of playing in a two team league. Cesc is right the Primera Liga will soon be like the Scottish premier League. He calls it ‘a pub league’ – what is a pub league?”
It’s no secret that Barca’s manager, and Messi’s mentor, has refused to sign an extension to his current 12 month arrangement and Lionel feels Pep is also looking at a new challenge, quite possibly in the Premier League and what better team to play with than Arsenal with their current coach more than likely retiring at some point during Lionel’s five year contract with Arsenal?
As if there were not enough reasons to make sense of Messi’s shock move the little Argentinian began to explain his disillusionment with the Catalan outfit:
“When we wore the UNICEF badge I was proud of my club for not taking money for advertising on our shirts; now we will have Qatar on our shirts I don’t understand what Barca has in common with Qatar, why…?” at this point Mendes cut him short to prevent any legal complications between his former employers and their new sponsors.
In order to placate his former team, Lionel Andrés was prompted by his agent to say if he would consider a move back to the team that made him once he has proved himself in England.
“Yes, “he grinned “I would like to come back and finish my career with Newell’s Old Boys” – proof positive of the class and sense of humour of the Ballon d’or winner.
Written by charybdis 1966
Arsenal News 24/7
Now Messi actually looks like a real man
Morning all
Thanks chary for injecting a bit fun into the transfer madness.
Messi looks rather good in our shirt 😉
Agreed gg 😉
Morning Peachy, Gnarley – I hope we don’t get any irate Barca fans on here, but you’d think they’d have a sense of humour about it.
I’m tempted to get Wrighty7 to add a trackback/link for “authenticity”
Great work on the mocked up pic Peachy/Raspers.
Rasp gets all the credit for pic 😛
Oh right, but where have your legs gone Peachy ?
Who is that, a young TH14 ?
Evening peaches/chary
I’m not going to fall for the Messi rumours 😛 especially after being shaken up yesterday by Londres.
& raspy about the potential signing of Samba.
come on Gnarley, let’s do the Bamba – it would be nice if it happened, but as Raspers said “emergency signing” doesn’t have the connotations of a proper signing.
chary
On a more serious note, the 1st leg of the Ipswich tie, I hope that mon ami is ready for Roy Keane. This could be a tricky one.
Morning all,
Entertaining post chary, Barcelona fans across the world are in a frenzy of panic over the news 🙂
GG,if we can get £2.50 for Almunia, that would buy one of Samba’s toenails. Seriously, as chary said, an “emergency signing” (if that is really how AW described it) suggests a stop gap player probably at the end (or past it) of his career – not a quality, ready-to-go CB with prem experience.
Roy Keane’s been sacked, Paul Jewell is their new manager.
Say what? Sacked? When?
Messi looks much better suited in an Arsenal shirt :-)!!!!
Last week, well overdue. They shouldn’t pose a threat to us under any management, but no doubt getting rid of Keane will be a boost for them as apparently the players hated him.
Blimey rasp I just googled it 😆
Now I’m having visions of Cesc holding up the Cup.
Buying bacerlona messi is it a joke or real?
I guess everyone on here will be going to Wembley.
Me, I guess it’ll be the old comfy couch…….again.
I agree arsenal4ever, and as you can see it is an official Arsenal picture as it is embossed with club’s name 😛
Onyea
Its a joke. Arsene would never buy him 😀
Superb post.
The transfer merry go round begins ….. Messi to us ….. Arshavin to Man City … Wright Phillips to Tottenham ….. Bale to Barca !!!
Fine graphic Rasp
OG – it’s just me having a giggle. It’s a strike back against all the fabrications about CF04 going “home”
Gnarley – I don’t think Jewell is actually taking charge tomorrow, only watching from the stands.
Raspers, it’d be nice to think it has caused a momentary bit of panic amongst the Al Thani family’s team although I get some points in about how FCB have changed their ethos significantly.
Cheers Radders, I think gooners need a laugh during transfer windows.
No it’s for real, I just checked on Championship Manager via my X-Box
Rasp,
Your 9:48 is a bit of a harsh way to describe Sol! 🙂
Pls mr wenger arsenal has money to buy quality players. You must add one striker and one central defender.
Rasp,
What do you make of the rumour we are going to buy Ghengis Kant?
He is supposed to be a right terror, so I hear! 🙂
😆 Red Arse, you’re on good form this morning!
Rasp, Chary,
I think you two should go on a road show. Definitely lightened up the morning. 🙂
The one thing that has me worried this a.m., is that tho’ I did not want to believe Peaches was a dipsomaniac it seems, even this early, she is legless again!
Not a bad idea RA, I can be Bud abbot, to Raspers’ s Lou Costello !
As long as I get some groupies.
who gives a f**k what the barca boys think-it’s a tiny drop of payback in the ocean of shit we’ve had to put up for years from them.more please!
Glad you liked it K Gooner – I’d like to think this would make a few gooners grin, but if it annoys a few Barca fans also, then so be it. 🙂
Arsenal should forget about socambell. He is not the type of a player arsenal need now.
Just talked my friend Carlos Puyol he has signed for Arsenal and will make his debut very soon he may tommorow he’s heading to North London for his medical.
Good one LM – we need a stand in mascot for when Gunnersaurus is feeling a bit poorly.
It was shrewd business by Arsene Wenger 7million plus Almunia in exchange.
True OG, while he performed admirably for us last season, he is definitely on the decline now.
I see ‘Arry after appearing to lose out on Beckham he now is looking at bringing in P Neville.
Desperate for media attention Mr Redknapp?
Maybe we should start getting #MessitoArsenal trending on Twitter and I’m sure we could substitute “a source close to the player” for Chary and get this in the tabloids by morning.
That would be cool GiE – it’s probably little different to how 95% of the transfer “stories” start.
Lionel Messi has been spotted in leafy Hadley; North London accompanied by estate agents, one of which said that Arsenal’s new signing is looking for a five million pound home to accommodate his whole family equidistance from the Emirates and the training ground in London Colney……..watch this space.
I am very worried about Walcott’s future at the club if Messi joins in this window, the young Englishman is not going to be a happy bunny.
There are so many things to think about: like what song shall we use that incorporates his name.
hahahahahha..gave me a good laugh did this one. Quality
Ahh this is getting too complicated, questions, questions, questions, what position should he play, what song should we sing. Are we really sure that we want this Argentinian dwarf?
Dwarf, London?
He is a giant among our many little people, although I hear he has tiny, tiny, little feet! 🙂
Chary – pure brilliance 🙂
We need someone to be ready to step in if Theo gets injured.
Cheers Rohan; London how about we rotate him with Jack to give him a breather?
Song wise how about “Lionel- woo-oo-ahhh, we pinched him from Barca, there is no quicker passer” ?
Cheers R lives. 🙂
OK, a source at the club has given me some details of the deal.
It’s a deal worth £75 million, but not all in cash.
We’re giving them £15 million in cash, plus Denilson (£12m), Almunia (£10m) and Eboue (£38m).
Barca also get additional payments if he turns out to be any good.
Good point R Lives, additional payments on proof of quality as we wouldn’t want a dud to “kill” Randall’s progress.
CharyB,
You forgot to report that Messi spurned Manure and the Chavs. You reported that Cesc played a major role in his arrival at Arsenal.
What you failed to report was that they both have appealed to Pique and Iniesta to join them, especially after Pique was spotted wearing an Arsenal shirt over Xmas and Iniesta was seen kissing his Gunners badge, as well as his arse!
It was very remiss of you to fail to mention these important disclosures, but it at least stopped the site being overrun by maddened fans from all three loser clubs! 🙂
Barca want 2 use messi to swap up fabregas.if fab4 move this january then later on they will say no transfer room for messi.to prove d reality let them allowed him to come this january.if not fabresgas is not 4 §ale:->
Legless peaches here, I reckoned Henry’s return to training with the team was worthy of a Gravatar. Welcome home Thierry 😀
Messi is shit.
We need a gazebo signing like Phil Neville….sorry, marquee signing.
hahahaha GREAT post I’m having some good laughs mates.
P.S Messi does look like a man in an Arsenal shirt
gazebo signing lol
Yeah RA, I thought discretion was the better part of valour in this case, LOL.
Jay – you’re welcome.
Chas – “Gazebo signing” great stuff.
gazebo 😆
Ok, you can all relax now, I’ve got my Barcelona tickets so I won’t be throwing a hissy fit, its so tedious waiting for the white line to fill in with burgundy to get into the box office 🙄
They won’t let you on the ‘plane Peaches if you can’t even walk the white line (well it seems you are at the Burgundy as well?) to get into the Box Office! 🙂
Peaches, much as I love Thierry, I’m already missing the legs…
Why would we need Messi when we’ve got Super Nicky Bendtner?
Chas. Gazebo 😀
Peaches. Very early to be on the pop!
Smithy,
That’s my worry too. I just cannot see how we can slot Messi into the team ahead of lead boots Bendy, the barndoor miss-er!
What a quandry!! 🙂
Chas, I think they are wicked for laughing at your “typo”. You were clearly referring to Gazpacho, a nice raw vegetable Spanish tomato soup, which sums Messi up nicely.
It enables him to fart all over the pitch at great, speed and with a reverse flick, blow the ball into the net! 🙂 A gastronomic genius!!
i dont want no more fucking midgets in my team.
DG,
Agreed. Copulation on the pitch is so non de rigeur! 🙂
He’s so two footed its a joke. Waste of money.
Thanks for original post Chary.
Does anyone know of a decent Arsenal blog site that features girlie legs? Football’s alright, but…needs must.
You’re welcome MDi89 – have you tried this : http://www.goonerettesonline.co.uk/
No legs!
Brilliant article would-be great if our papers run it show them stuck up catalans we not pushovers
Ok if I must, but don’t tell Rasp 😆
Conor – it’s precisely because the spanish papers are happy to regurgitate stuff like this I felt we should push back a bit.
The strange tihng is our own media are complicit in this campaign to get rid of the best talent in the Premier League.
Aaaaaaaah…all better!
Can’t stay and enjoy, work calls.
Just read about Ryan Babel being charged for his tweet of Webb in a manc shirt – something wrong there
http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/pfa-says-fa-overreacting-to-rya
Peachy, proof positive that Fergie has the FA in his pocket; the drunk, jocko retard.
Cracking post Chary…..a real rib tickler.
Gazebo. Lol…well played there Chas !
Thanks S Sure, I’m half hoping a hack picks this up and takes it as an actual transfer rumour.
That would be a welcome reversal of the usual scenario re. Arsenal Barca transfers.
So, it’s confirmed, the Verminator “had a little setback” over the weekend and Wenger says they are looking for a centre back. No mention of “emergency/stop gap” or proper medium-long term replacement so we’ll have to wait and see.
It’s been confirmed that Chesney’s in goal tomorrow.
Ha ha!
Blinding stuff there.
I tell you something, Messi really suits that Arsenal kit doesn’t he?!
Hi Wrighty – you and chary could do a double act 😀
That’ll be the Samba then chary, much as I love Sol he still hasn’t got his fitness back after the summer and unless AW thinks he can crack the whip and get him into shape, Samba is the no 1 for me.
Hiya Wrighty – yeah, your thing the other day got the cogs in my little brain whirring ! Who knows what might result from this.
Peachy – I’m hoping for the Bamba too, but whoever it is the sooner the better, the suspenders are killing me.
Haha, loved the post and the comments.
I would love to see Xavi’s face if we did sign Messi.
“Fabregas is really on loan until we decide to bring him back home” do you all remember that?
Never been so irked by a smug little Spaniard in all my life, well not since Malaga 06 but I won’t go into that…
Still you and your little friend In-ya-keista didn’t outshine the lil Argie dwarf at the awards eh?
GG…..
What do you call an Australian cricket fan with a bottle of champagne?
“Barman”
OK. That was the last one …. promise
Bugger anyone seen the Vermaelen news, broke down again on Saturday and they’re off to find more specialists.
Really need a CB now, so apparently we have added Marquez to our wish list, Thierry is sorting the paper work for him to come back from New York Red Bulls and Thierry has decided to offer any assistance on the pitch we need for the next 3 months.
now why would a proud trophy winner leave a trophy winning team for a team who can’t beat a team like Leeds and be trophyless every single season?
why would he choose to leave a team that has 5 other Ballon d’or players to play with denilson, diaby and the awful rosicky.
funny though how anyone would think that.
you would refuse to play with denilson too
I for one am not wholly convinced by Samba. I’ve seen him have some pretty awful games. Then again I do know that he’s a monster, but think we already have one of those in Big YoYo as GG9 calls him.
So yeah I’m unconvinced/undecided on this one.
I really liked the look of Bartley on his one CL appearance, and by all accounts he’s doing wonders at CB for the Blades. Any defender we get in needs to be able to understand and live with playing the Arsenal way and recognise that he’ll mostly be communicating with his two full backs thru a loudhailer, as they bomb forward repeatedly. He”ll often need the same loudhailer to communicate with our keeper as we play such a high line.
Its a very diffeent kettle of fish for the likes of Samba, Cahill and Hangeland who play in teams where the back five practically form a huddle for most of the game.
Crooked…very funny answer to a completely satirical post…well played there.
No honestly, I’m being serious. Lol
Ooooohhhhhhhh………Marquez…….now your talking……..a player that really can play CB and DM and I mean proper DM…..this is big…….Captain of Mexico…….has been round the block…..I think he played for THEM in Paris…….this is good people……this is better than Samba.
It’s been along time since I burst out laughing while reading a comment on a blog but BR’s at 6:12 made me do just that…..what do you call an Australian cricket fan with a bottle of champagne?………. Barman……how good is that?
Whooops, I might have to revise my thoughts……I have just read crooked comment and if I wasn’t so shocked would be rolling around the floor laguhing.
Crooked I am going to give you the benifit of the doubt and say that English is not your first language but if I am wrong and you are a native of these shores and you are a supporter of our wonderful football team then you really, really need to learn the difference between someone being serious and someone totally taking the piss, that is unless you are in which case this joke is on me………but I doubt that.
That’s five, OK I surrender.
London, your surrender is accepted, respectfully of course.
I like the thought of Marquez too, but its not exactly a hot rumour at the moment though is it..??
You talk of him playing alternate positions, half the National side seem to do that. They’ve a guy called Rosario who’s equally at home at RWB, RB, CB, DM. In their fantastic clash with Argentina in 2006 WC, they were mesmerising as a unit which switched between formations at varying points in the game. It was a similar thing when they played England last summer before Capello’s boys set off ‘to bring the trophy home’ (TM and LOL?).
I’ll try to find the article about their fluid set up, its on Zonal Marking somewhere.
Marquez was a joke, i’m quite surprised at 31 he decided to bugger off to the States. Although he always seemed older than that.
Hi Sharkey
I don’t know Rosario but Marquez is one of a few players that can genuinely play CB or DM.
When was Marquez a joke?
In the World Cups?
In the CL beating us?
Here’s te article:
http://www.zonalmarking.net/2010/05/27/mexico-tactics-world-cup-2010-javier-agurre/
Oh and it turns out that Rosario has changed his name to Osorio by deed poll in the last 48hrs. I’ll give my Mexican contact a slap next time I see him, hes supposed to keep me ‘in the know’ about that sort of thing.
Cue another Comedy Gold comment from Crooked about Osorio’s name change..?? Bated breath over here !
GiE its cos he’s been around forever. I rate him as a decent player and a great leader. Gotta agree with London, he;s te genuine article at both CB and DM. Yasya can do it as well.
Neither are as good as Alex ‘SheepsHead’ Song though
There is only one SheepsHead.
This boards gone giddy today.
I mean my suggesting him was a joke. One of the best Centre backs I have ever seen. Reason being unlike most of the current English clogging centre backs he was very rarely on his arse sliding into last ditch because he read the game so well. That’s also what has been so good about Big Bad Johan in recent weeks.
And that reminds me we need a song for Big Bad JD. To the tune of My Gang:
Joh-Han Joh-Han Joh-Han Joh-Han Joh-Han Joh-Han Joh-Han DJOUROU
Look for the guy singing it in the Clock End on his own against Wigan.
Okidoke GiE. I knew it was just a faint rumour, but completely forgot that only I’d read it on here whilst at work earlier.
Alzheimers as well as Typinsons, and I’m only 43. I might as well kill myself now. On second thoughts I’ll wait til late May so I can squeeze in a trip to Wembley to see Cesc lift Old Big Ears.
SS. Don’t do it – you have yet to fully inculcate your kids into Goonerdom! Once they can get to the Grove on their own then perhaps it is time to consider the Gentleman’s way out ….
What do you call Great Britain surrounded by a square, a postage stamp 🙂
Whats the difference between a postage stamp & Great Britain? Great Britain drops in value 😆
Whats the difference between Labour & the plague. Labour has been declared a disaster 😛
Hi Gnarley – looks like it’s just you and me around to see a moment to make me a little proud – my post has got “Top Story” billing on Newsnow. http://www.newsnow.co.uk/h/Sport/Football/Premier+League/Arsenal/All+Sources
I’m the 4th story on the right hand side
Cue Oscar acceptance type speech…
Well done Chary. I’ve had too much bloomin work today to join in properly, but it was lots of fun. Get in!
(We must know someone who can send a link to a Catalan newspaper – surely!).
chary
Its about time a post like that came out re The Arsenal & transfers. Well put together, & no doubt it went all the way to Spain 😆
On a more serious note. Things have gone from bad to worse up in Queensland. I don’t no wheather you have had any vision of the flash flooding over there in Blighty, but 😯
Over the years Australians have given billions of $$$ in aid to other countries, it will be interesting to see how much help Queensland gets from OS = zero I bet. The only country that ever comes to our aid is the USA usually.
“Estacionar el autobús” – comic genius Chary 😀
chary
What was that old saying, ‘start a movement eat a prune” 😉 well now it could be replaced with “start a movement read a chary post” 😆
I for one will do what I can to further the cause. If we knock Barca out, it may help the chary cause as well.
Gnarley
Seen some incredible footage of cars being swept away and whatnot.
Is it all just from extremely heavy rain?
I believe the England cricket team tried to help out but had to stop because the little urn they were using to bail with was not effective enough…
Well done chary – its great when one of our stories hits the NN top ten 😀
RL
The England test team had to go home early, it is too expensive for them here.
What was that old Barmy Army song “We’re fat, we’re round 3 dollars to 4 pounds”
GG 🙂
Peaches
Nice to see the legs back 🙂
About to get on plane. Catch you all on here tomorrow.
Oh yes the legs are back 😛
Gnarley, it does look quite grim viewing, it reminds me of the poor people in New orleans and how much they suffered and I fear it may be a similar scenario for the “banana benders”(is that the correct term Gnarley?)
If just one Catalan has read that and a seed of doubt has been planted then that’s an added bonus.
The main point of my post was to make my people(the Gooner kingdom)smile a bit, and mission accomplished there.
And as I said, I got AA onto the “Top Stories” bit of Newsnow – you’ve got to be liking that. 🙂
Rocky – It seemed the site wasn’t the same without them 🙂 Safe journey
R Lives, I was wondering who would spot the “Park the bus” gag. 🙂
Anyhow time for me to turn to in, night Peachy, R Lives, Gnarley and all gooners.
chary, as Agent 86 used to say “annnnnnndddd loving it”
yep I’m off to.
Londres
I’ll be watching you 🙂
[…] Messi transfer to North London – AA exclusive: “I need a challenge” Following on from the news broken by Wrighty7 that the former Newell’s Old Boys player has agreed a 5 year contract […] […]
Thanks..
I think the signing of Messi is an amazing coup. Him,Nasri and VP upfront will be absolutely lethal. But,typically, Arsenal.com are the last to confirm the transfer 😦
Messi has Arsenal DNA in him and secretly always wanted for the best team in the entire world – Arsenal FC. It seems at last his dreams may come true!
fun to look but that is laurent koscielny body stucked with messi’s head
. Simic How and why do you know that?
A masterpiece.
Every sports journalist should by law be forced to print out and pin up on their wall as THE template format for “reporting” any old twaddell with maximum apparent authenticity. The bus was a particular highlight and predict it will be copied by others when we play equivalents in the German, French, Italian etc leagues.
Sincere commiserations to Queensland, looks horrific. Don’t underestimate UK ability to help mop up tho.
There’ll be two of us at Clock End for the Wigan game; a decent song for Djourou well overdue – nice one.
simic,
Well spotted, it is Koscielny’s body
A Andrew – it does seem to be the way Libal football, sports.co.uk and most bollocks-driven football websites seem to operate when it comes to transfer rumours.
Morning all.
Morning chary,
Congratulations on penning the post which has had the 2nd highest number of hits on AA (Rocky hold’s the record you won’t be surprised to hear)
We’ll have to encourage you to lie with style more often 😛
Cheers Raspers, but Rocky is a professional writer and I’m only a keen amatuer enthusiast so I’m quite happy to be second to him. 🙂
I thought I’d try a spoof(ok, lies) as it’s something less serious than what I usually write about.
Morning all
There’s a New Post
Simic and Crooked, separated at birth, reunited on Arsenal Arsenal..??
Maybe we can get Cilla Black and her Surprise Surprise team to do a special one off show about it..??
It was an excellent piece and in keeping with the mood of supporters at this time chary. The transfer windows are a time of torture for gooners. I don’t want to get too political, but I’m tempted to put a list of the worst sites for telling lies (as opposed to witty satire 🙂 ) with goal.com near the top.
There is obviously a direct correlation between sensational headlines where the truth is secondary and advertising revenue.
telepromptinGUK…
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Messi looks gay in thay shirt =P
funny pics…
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Messi transfer to North London