Raddy’s Review of the Season.

Every Tom, Dick and Harry has had a go, so why can’t Big Raddy?

However, this post is not just about the pitch and boardroom – No, this review will go elsewhere… For example, what did we think about the team kit this season? I thought the home kit was excellent but was disappointed by our away colours. The team played well in both, so I guess it doesn’t matter to them. With the arrival of a Puma kit we can look forward to something radical – Borussia Dortmund play in Puma and they are doing OK.

And what of Mr.Wenger’s touchline attire? The man is looking a bit scrawny and must be a tailor’s nightmare. Do you think he buys off the peg at M & S or has them made by some bloke in Islington? Then there was the disaster with the “sleeping bag”; the merchandising chaps must have given a royal rollicking to the sweatshops in Vietnam questioning the quality of the zips. Given the harsh and long winter there was ample opportunity to improve the quality of the garment or give Mr. Wenger some instruction as to the use of a zip.

I have to admit to being disappointed by Steve Bould’s lack of sartorial elegance. Nothing in the Big Man’s wardrobe apart from freebies from the Arsenal shop, and he wore long tracksuit bottoms in winter despite spending 20+ seasons watching Pat Rice. Shabby work, Steve – better expected next season.

Did the substitutes bench look interested in events on the pitch? Were they Song-like in their total disinterest (or should it be Adebayor-esque) or kicking every ball like Jenks? I enjoyed seeing Arshavin looking like an extra from The Hobbit.

images

The subs were brilliant at the final whistle at St .James. Proof that a real team spirit exists amongst our squad.

A disappointing season as regards ball-boys. No-one got a kicking, no-one handed out towels. Poor work. Nor were the mascots memorable – OK, we had a couple who had spent too long at the pie-shop but generally they were dull. I wonder if any of them will play for the mighty Gunners like Yennaris has.

And what of the team’s tatt’s? Coming from an older generation I am not a fan of the tattoo but accept that in order to be en vogue, a tattoo is a necessary evil. And what of ours? No-one can get near the Beckham or Agger though almost every player has some. I notice that Theo has extended his down one arm, as has JW, and Giroud has taken the needle of late (though he arrived with some). Do you think that there are cliques within the club that are tattoo related?

Hair: No-one can touch Arteta.- not even GoonerMichael can explain his immaculate locks; I have not seen the like since Scott Tracy from Thunderbirds.

images-1

Mikels’s Dad?

Sagna’s beads have become passé and sadly it appears we have returned to the days of short back and sides. No dreadlocks, no silly shaven bits, no Song-like dyes – another poor showing from the lads.

We did much better on the message on the underwear front. Young Bendtner let us down at the World Cup with his green pants but he paid a heavy price for his stupidity (a years holiday in Italy). Since then we haven’t resorted to any silliness that I can recall; no “I belong to Jesus”, no “Happy Birthday, Mum” …. nothing.  I like the new found discipline. Ever since IW8 ruined his record breaking goal tally celebration by taking his shirt off a goal early, the whole vest message has upset me. What is it apart from another display of massive ego?

The only  acceptable message was Robbie Fowler’s support of the dockers.

Goal celebrations: Another good year. A few silly golf swings and a couple of thumb sucks apart our celebrations were quality. Almost always all the players celebrated together and in some style. I always like the knee slide to the corner flag and the around the back of the goal towards the fans, Theo was particularly good in this regard. Note to Gervinho – copy OG.

Part One ends on a high note. I was very impressed with the speed at which the medical staff reached an injured player.  Those sprint training routines under the watchful eye of Linford Christie are paying off. Well done.

Written by Big Raddy

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88 Responses to Raddy’s Review of the Season.

  1. Norfolk Gooner says:

    Firrrrrsssstttt!!! Am I?

  2. Norfolk Gooner says:

    Good morning to you all,

    That’s the kind of Season Review I like! Straight to the meat of the subject. No messing about with MVP’s or LGS’s or GotS’s, no need for MotS’s or SotS’s either. Well done Mr. Raddy,









    Glossary,

    MVP Most Valuable Player
    LGS Leading Goal Scorer
    GotS Goal of the Season
    MotS Miss of the Season
    SotS Save of the Season

  3. charybdis1966 says:

    Thanks for the giggle Big Randy, much needed after the events at one of my old stamping grounds yesterday, S.E. London.

    One of the funniest goal celebrations was BFG’s calamitous attempt at aknee slide.

    Oh dear, he just doesn’t have the agility for that, bless him.

  4. LB says:

    I haven’t seen the BFG knee slide but the image it conjures in my mind is funny enough.

    Thanks for the read BR.

  5. Big Raddy says:

    Quiet today. I thought it was an amusing post but clearly not!

  6. LB says:

    It is amusing.

  7. LB says:

    Damn knee, still can’t ride.

    I have booked into a sportive (race against the clock) with 500 people to ride from Barcelona to Biarritz, up and over all the most difficult mountains in the Pyrenees.

    I am worried I won’t have trained enough.

  8. charybdis1966 says:

    It was Big Daddy, I’m sure the regulars will be back soon.

    Gotta ROLF at Pugiliis getting tin tacked, as many have commented I’m sure he can get a job at Saracens/Wasps easy enough.

    Just looked at the first team stats and saw that Santi made 47 starts and 2 sub appearances this season – no wonder he looked absolutely shagged out after the Wigan game.

    The next highest appearances was the BFG with 43 starts and 1 sub.

    Take a bow lads for your stamina and fitness.

  9. Norfolk Gooner says:

    LB, as long as you have a good horse you’ll be fine. :D

  10. sai says:

    Good day everyone. Raddy, it takes a special mind to summarize unique observations. Apart from the hair styles and celebrations, you should have watched a lot of games at Emirates to obsere the mascots and the Ball boys.

    Arshavin’s pic is a gem! I haven’t seen the movie Hobbit, but sure resembles Frodo from Lord of the rings :D

    I’m not sure if this has been discussed, but doesn’t BFG resemble Paul Anderson (Col. Sebastian Moran from ‘The Game of Shadows’)…. We can actually write up an article comparing every Arsenal player with an actor (If it’s not too rude).

    Thank you for reminding of Bendtner. Is he coming back to England?

  11. Belfastgooner says:

    Big Raddy the post is fantastic. Long overdue analysis of the crucial things in life. Keep it up!
    LB how long have you to train? Hope the knee mends soon. I did the pyrennian raid last year and suffered like I’ve never suffered before. Did it on the cheap 36-38 degrees for the 5 days with no back up crew no air conditioning and not enough food to supply my needs for the 720km.
    You’ll be fine if you make sure you’ve very generous gear ratios or a granny ring. Forget the racing part of the equation, it’s all about survival!

  12. IanRealGunner says:

    Reference Bendtner coming back, he broke his wrist at the weekend, 10 minutes into his comeback match with Juve – the footage was pretty horrible!!!! Difficult to see where he goes from here.

  13. Rasp says:

    Great fun post Raddy :P

    We’ve been guilty of taking ourselves too seriously this season – mind you, its easy now we’ve made top 4 but 10 days ago I’m not sure I’d have said the same.

    Things I’d like to change …

    … Arsene, please do your zip up before you are in range of the cameras

    ….. Sz, please zip up your lip until after we’ve reached St Totteringham’s day

    …. Tony Pulis to take over inside Gunnersaurus

    …. The club to bring in a system to make unoccupied seats (season ticket holders who do not attend) available to red and silver members 15 minutes after kick off

  14. Rasp says:

    Ian, we all know why Bendy has a weakness in his wrist :?

  15. LB says:

    Hey Belfast

    You are one of us. Thanks for that.

  16. Gooner In Exile says:

    I’d like to launch an investigation into celebrations, no dancing, only one pre rehearsed routine which is Rambo and Theo’s golf swing.

    Not good enough!!!

  17. Norfolk Gooner says:

    Rasp, Pulis to take over in Gunnersaurus? No, no, no, He’ll tackle Rambo as he walks onto the pitch. :-)

  18. GunnerN5 says:

    Very clever post Raddy.

    I`m very busy today, finalising my summer posts, but I hope to have time to participate later on.

  19. RockyLives says:

    Excellent stuff BR :D

    It’s nice to see at least one season review that concentrates on the important stuff!

    Speaking of goal celebrations, what was Kozzer doing after getting the winner at Newcastle? It looked like he was either playing a trumpet or quaffing from an imaginary bottle of bubbly…

  20. RockyLives says:

    BFG attempts a knee-slide under the watchful eye of his Mum…

  21. charybdis1966 says:

    Mr Rock, searching my rubbish memory I think the BFG Fail on the knee slide may have been during the Spud home game.

    Quick, Titus Bramble is available on a free – if the Arse pretend to be interested maybe that will get the Spuds to sign him up. :)

  22. RockyLives says:

    Didn’t know you were a SE London lad, Chary…

  23. charybdis1966 says:

    Well, I lived there in my twenties after I left Essex, Plumstead Common to be precise Mr Rock.

    Actually raised in Essex though.

  24. RockyLives says:

    I used to use that crappy “trim-trail” exercise course on Plumstead Common.

    And used to drink in all the pubs along that main road near the barracks where yesterday’s horror happened.

  25. charybdis1966 says:

    Oh yeah, I remember that, you might as well have jumped on the kids playground in the Slade for all the good the stuff on the Common was.

    I used to go to that dive of a nightclub in Wellington Street, Flamingoes – only ever pulled twice in there.

  26. Red Arse says:

    Rocky,

    It is clear that you are of a gentle disposition, and certainly of an order of magnitude far higher than me.

    Rock: Kozzer – trumpet – quaffing bubbly.

    Me: Kozzer — sucking his thumb — mummy’s boy.

    You see, I told you we are very different in our observations of human kind — especially players. :-)

  27. Red Arse says:

    And by the way, I am driven to believe that you and that CharyB are speaking in tongues – or at least code.

    Plumstead? Crappy trim tail (sexual innuendo?), Slade playground?

    Wossat orl abart? :-)

  28. RockyLives says:

    Hmmm… on reflection I reckon it’s more like playing a musical instrument…

  29. RockyLives says:

    Flamingoes was a right dive Chary.

    Spent many happy nights there :)

  30. charybdis1966 says:

    Redders, you’d have to have been in SE18 to know what we’re on about. :)

    Ha ha Mr Rock – you got some right rough sorts in there, that’s for sure.

  31. Big Raddy says:

    I spent some student years living in SE13 and used to cycle up to town along the Old Kent Rd. A real keep your head down place.

    And my brother i-l taught at The Slade. They had brilliant student dances there

  32. evonne says:

    very amusing post Raddy :)Right up my stream!!

    I thought that Wenger is always immaculately dressed and apart from the sleeping bag with a broken zip, he looks smart.
    The hairstyles were fantastic last season, proper boys barnets with partings, lovely.
    I am disappointed you didn’t elaborate on the underwear and in TV’s case absence of any, that was the hottest picture of the season :) The picture from celebrations in the dressing rooms on Sunday showed lads wearing white y-fronts, horrible!! Only Santi wears proper boxer shorts, very sexy.

    And lastly on the subject of Sagna – was it little Sagna on his shoulders after the Newcastle game? And little Santi carried by Cazorla? aaaahhhh….sweet

  33. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Ha Ha Big Raddy,

    You may mock our lads’ hair, but hang on. We are Alice Band and Ponytail free. Now both must be reasons to be proud :-)

  34. chas says:

    I thought Koscielny was blowing raspberries at the spuds.

    Here’s one of BFG’s knee slides celebrating Kos’s goal at the home of the light blue oilers.

  35. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Talking of The Old Kent Rd, many many years ago, I went to a Chinese Restaurant there called Gracelands, and once everyone was seated, the Chinese Owner appeared fully Elvis Vegas’d Up and went into the full routine.

    Jailhouse Wock and all :-)

  36. MickyDidIt89 says:

    I am in no way related to the one that goes by the name of Chas, just because we appear at the same time :-)

    Hi Chas.

  37. Big Raddy says:

    Rasp. Can you recall the transfer targets chart we had on the site? Any chance of another?

    So far … Cabella, Jovetic, Higuian, Gonalons, Goretzka, Isla, Bony, Rooney, Fabregas, Begovic +++ and that is only today!

  38. chas says:

    Funny post, BR.

    The bits and pieces you point out give the game its colour.

  39. chas says:

    Micky,
    I thought you were always on which means I have little chance of not being on at the same time. :)

  40. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Chas
    On 24 secs of your clip, can I ask what the hell Pod is doing in the stands. No major objections or anything, just curious?

  41. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Last time I was on was when we, I mean you, went to the gym at 6am!

  42. Big Raddy says:

    Micky. What a great memory.

    I went to that place as well. He was hilarious! Then he moved to a fancy place further down the A23 – I think it was Streatham.

  43. chas says:

    Talking of the BFG, what a likeable chap he is. This has that knee slide again.

  44. chas says:

    Micky,
    celebrating ze great goal….

  45. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Bloody hell, until now, I am the only person I know who went, and over the years I’ve mentioned Gracelands to so many.

    You and me Daddy, you and me :-)

  46. Big Raddy says:

    Cassius Clay (as he was then) trained above the Thomas A Becket pub on OKR in preparation for his Henry Cooper fight at Highbury in front of more than 40k spectators ….. ruined the pitch though

  47. Big Raddy says:

    Micky. To most people Sarf Lardarn is another country.

    When the Elvis impersonator moved to Streatham there was a huge illuminated sign of The King outside his Chinese restaurant. It was very visible. But I guess your mates just flashed passed in their Porsche’s on their way to Brighton for some high jinks.

  48. Big Raddy says:

    chas. You are a genius!

  49. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Chas…that’s incredible :-) :-)

    Raddy,
    Sarf London IS another country. As for back then my mates having Porches, mmm, mopeds for the successful ones :-)

  50. chas says:

    I think Stuart Macfarlane’s photo of Kos and Gibbo hanging off of the BFG deserves another airing.

    Laurent Koscielny, Kieran Gibbs and Per Mertesacker celebrate after the match

  51. chas says:

    Why hasn’t anyone bought it?
    £1.30 :)

    http://bit.ly/18ltU56

  52. I knew you’d find that hilarious BFG knee slide attempt Chas.Top tubing.

    Anyone wonder what Wreh, who scored vital goals during our 2nd double winning campaign ?

  53. Gooner In Exile says:

    I have man love for the BFG.

  54. Big Raddy says:

    Micky. I was going for your record low comments.

    I had a good pre-season, worked hard and kept in shape, stuck to the programme and came good at the right time. When times were hard I stuck together and fought my way through, The gaffer supported me right the way through and today I think I can repay him for all he has done for me.

    Sadly, I came up short but will return stronger and better able to challenge for the trophy.

  55. Great post made me laugh

  56. RockyLives says:

    I used to go on pub crawls down the Old Kent Road when I was a teenager. The Thomas a Becket (all very tough-looking old ex-boxer types); the World Turned Upside Down; the Frog and Nightgown; the Dun Cow; the Montague Arms and others whose names I can’t remember. I also visited the Chinese Elvis – so that’s three of us!

    Back then the OKR was rough in a kind of old-London working-class kind of way. But fortunately we teenagers were below the notice of the real hard men who frequented those pubs. If we stepped out of line one of them would just glare at us and that was usually enough…

    I’m told it’s a lot more dodgy these days…

  57. Big Raddy says:

    RL. You are hard core. My pub crawls were through Greenwich or preferably Blackheath!

    Though I am very much a NL boy – born and raised and my late teenage nights were spent in the West End at The Valbonne and Samantha’s (as were kelseys)

  58. RockyLives says:

    I did lots of Greenwich and Blackheath boozing as well BR.

    Hare & Billet, Crown and Station in Blackheath.

  59. Just had a look in the cupboard and it’s empty …….. if anyone has something for tomorrow that would be good.

    Nite

  60. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Morning Chas

  61. chas says:

    Up and down like the pantaloons of a lady of the night.
    What a season!

  62. chas says:

    Flippin heck, Micky.
    Don’t give the game away!!!!!!!!!!

  63. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Every year our transfer balance sheet balances.
    No big money boys to sell this year means no big money boys in.
    Or does it?

    I’m not bothered about Jovetic as he is not the out and out striker we need, and as for that French Bloke from Ligue 2, his legs are too thin and he will break.

  64. chas says:

    I thought Jovetic and Higuain were ruled out yesterday?
    I haven’t seen twiglet legs from Ligue 2.

  65. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Peaches

    Does there really need to be a post every day in the summer? I’m not making a suggestion because I’ve done that before and zilch.

    Apart from anything else, lets you and Rasp off from worrying.

    Let’s vote :-)

  66. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Chas,
    Ligue 2 Boy does not look durable :-)
    Makes Diaby look strong.

  67. chas says:

    If there has to be a daily post (sounds as if GN5 has produced a magnum opus which will provide many), can’t some just be a one line question, such as

    Is it true that Arsene Wenger plays some players out of position? Discuss.
    Does moaning throughout a football match actually help the team, the people around you and, last but not least, yourself?

  68. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Chas,
    Yikes, does that look like a dull night.
    Love the Ox.

  69. chas says:

    I put it up because of the Ox and because it had Arshavin smiling.

  70. chas says:

    Gotta go, au revoir.

  71. MickyDidIt89 says:

    I’m off for a week today to Scotland for some good honest Dads and Children time.

    Ant ‘n Duck, on the other hand, are off with their “entertainment tent”.

  72. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Oh well, I too will “au revoir” to all.
    Back a week on Sunday.
    Behave all, and no abusing trolls :-)

  73. Big Raddy says:

    Aah. Missed the lads to say goodbye and wish you both an enjoyable time. Pack Nurofen.

  74. Big Raddy says:

    Peaches. I will write a quickie. If we can get through the weekend the whole of next week can be devoted to Gn5.

  75. Adrian says:

    It seems benteke has issued a come and get me message to Arsenal, would be a shame if we didn’t at least put in a bid.

  76. Big Raddy says:

    Adrian. I agree. Benteke looks the dogs in a poor team.

  77. Gooner In Exile says:

    Morning all, I’d like someone to explain why Benteke would be a good choice, he had a very good end of season, but he doesn’t strike me as the finished article.

    Bearing in mind the type of player we are looking for I won’t lose any sleep if we didnt enter the market for him.

  78. Big Raddy says:

    GIE. Depends upon the fee (as always). Benteke has a goal scorers instinct which sets him apart. He has pace and can score individual goals. Whether he can be taught to play in a passing team like AFC is another matter, – he reminds me of Anelka but better in the air.

    Given the choice of Benteke or Higuain – well, there isn’t one, is there? :-)

  79. Gooner In Exile says:

    There’s a quickie in drafts.

  80. Big Raddy says:

    In that case there two quickies in the loading bay. Peaches will be happy.

  81. Big Raddy says:

    Pulis, Redknapp Hughes all gone in a season. It seemed to good to be true – now Stoke are talking to Sparky.

    Could there be any worse combination for the future of entertaining football?

  82. Two quickies ……. my cup runneth over :) Thanks Raddy and GiE

  83. FrothingInarticulateLoon says:

    Best review of the season I’ve read this season.

    Skips all the useless tosh about signings, formations and tactics and gets straight to the real nitty gritty of what matters most to the sensible and erudite Arsenal fan.

    I salute you Randy !

  84. GoonerB says:

    Nice satirical post Raddy. Sorry I didn’t read it till this morning. I think we should glam ourselves up a bit with cheerleaders and have AW stand in the middle of them and do a rendition of Gangam style pre-match. Elvis is so yesteryear.

  85. New Post ……………….

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