Arsenal sign Baconario Sarnielli

Written by Jamie

I am brewing a pot of coffee, steam rising. I have bread product of some kind with Bacon. I’ll be honest, I’ve lost track which one. I still don’t know what is wrong with Bacon between two slices of bread but now it’s all focaccia and ciabatta and I couldn’t tell the difference if you laced one with a month old Estonian herring.

Another thing worth a question is this, when did butter become an optional extra when you are getting a bacon sandwich? Do you want butter? Of course I do, if it’s not too much trouble. No proper bread, optional butter, no red sauce, in future just do me a couple of rashers of bacon and leave it at that.

Of course I want butter, the greasier the better, dripping out of the side mixed with the red sauce.

Today, I dream of Spain, of America, or frankly just about anywhere where sea is lapping to shore. Where I can sit like Derek Trotter in a beach bar drinking more cocktails than James Bond.

Such fantasies while frustrating are slightly more appealing than the alternative. Which is, in reality sitting at my desk getting neurotic about Arsenal’s transfer activity or rather, the lack of it.

If I were on holiday, I wouldn’t be sitting there doing that. I would be in a bar, on a beach, having lunch, exploring an old cathedral, doing a tour of a football ground.

I would even rather be in a Waterpark, Go-Karting possibly even at the same time but I wouldn’t be subjected to this.

If on holiday I would occasionally find myself looking at a two day old report from Steve Stammers in the Daily Mirror while consuming a big cake and cooling VAT looking at a magnificent vista. As if i were some amatuer James Richardson.

Instead, it’s Coffee, Bacon and a Windows vista.

Every TV show yesterday showed a beach, even the Grand Prix.

I look out over London Wall and the day looks lethargic. People move slowly in the heat outside the Museum of London, almost slow motion, Almost as slow as Arsenal’s Summer. A summer of big change, so we are told. Not one player in or one player out by 27th June and don’t give me any of that Jenkinson stuff, i mean players that will definately have an impact next season.

First we are signing Gervinho, then we are not, then we have signed him, now we haven’t even made a bid.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m right behind Le Gaffer but the time it takes for us to sign a player does gives me the ache.

Stars form and burst, giant pandas mate and we still can’t conclude a deal.

We are like a 16 year old geek of the class trying to get his next door neighbours phone number. The President of Lille says we made contact but made no offer. It makes it sound like we rang up and got shy, giggled, said “Gervinho” and hung up.

I watch a lot of European football and I have seen Gervinho play half a dozen times. However despite this and him having the most ridiculous centre parting since “Saved by the Bell” was on TV, a month ago I couldn’t have picked out Gervinho if he, Scott Parker, Chris Samba and Juan Mata had done a conga past me singing “The Locomotion”.

That isn’t to say that he is not a good player.

I watched reports from around the world on the news this morning. War, torture, famine and not one word about Arsenal, Not one word. Selfish BBC.

This summer however for Family reasons, some work reasons and some financial reasons a holiday in June or July or even August is out of the question.

There is nothing quite as frustrating as being told you can’t go to Barcelona when all you want to do is hang out on the beach in Barcelona. Ask El Capitan.

Last year I went away in late November, it wasn’t easy catching the games abroad in November. You invairiably end up in a back street Irish bar sat next to some guy who came for a holiday in 1982 and never went back.

“I had trials” he will say, then you are subjected to two hours of the “I could have been a contender, but the booze, the girls, knee injury, blah,blah blah” speech. By the time Wilshere pops in the fourth at Villa Park you are reaching for the Tequilas.

The overwhelming point is this. Summer is for holidays, Winter is for football.

Holiday resorts in November are full of sadness and storm clouds and sitting around looking at Newsnow in June doesn’t look a lot differnet.

It isn’t going to do you any good come the fixture pile up.

So if you can’t get away and I can’t, then get your sun tan oil and get to your nearest park or pub by the river, or your back garden. Pour yourself a Pina Colada and read a two day old copy of the Daily Mirror and for a moment, just a moment, you might be able to convince yourself that your not addicted.

So Happy Holidays even if they are, only in your mind!

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82 Responses to Arsenal sign Baconario Sarnielli

  1. Qudzy says:

    Cheers mate!

  2. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Jamie,
    Great read, and we all know where you are coming from.
    “Stars form and burst, giant pandas mate”..love it, and may I say, that is by far the best pic I have ever seen on a Football Blog. So right with the white bread and red sauce. I was nearly involved in a fairly major incident recently with one of my loathesome sisters-in-law when she tried to tell my children they ought to eat brown bread. Wretched creature.

  3. TotalArsenal says:

    Hi Jamie, what a wonderful, eloquent, summer-indolent post! A joy to read: you described accurately the mood that most of us are in at the moment. Beach for me, anytime, during a football-drought summer ;)

    If you like reading, get yourself a good book: that will do the trick. ‘A man in full’ by Tom Wolfe for example will help you get through the summer – if that is what you want (about 1000 pages).

    I wonder what the percentage of yes votes would be if footy fans across the UK were given the choice to press a button that would instantly skip the period between the end of a season and the start of the next season in one flash?! They would not get the time back at the end of their lives though…. :lol:

  4. goonermichael says:

    Great post jamie. Best story on newsnow this morning is from the daily mirror. Barca are going to buy cesc and nasri. They can’t even afford to pay thier cleaners.

  5. goonermichael says:

    That picture reminds me why I have cholesterol problems. Just looking at it is giving me chest pains and numb fingers :)

  6. MickyDidIt89 says:

    GM,
    Get some bloody pills and then tuck in!

  7. Rasp says:

    Morning all,

    The bacon sandwich debate is the hottest story on NN – just going to check if Cesc or Jack have twittered anything about it yet…… nothing so far, I’ll keep looking.

    Micky, I am very surprised that you, as a gourmet, have not mentioned the importance of getting the bacon crispy and the merits of brown sauce. I guess you have thinly sliced truffles as an accompaniment in yours.

  8. Rasp says:

    I’ve just noted that the post has not appeared on NewsNow – probably because they block anything with NN in the title, I shall leave it a mo and then change the title so the world can give it’s thouhgts on the merits of bacon sarnies.

  9. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Rasp,
    You have me down as a right ponce. Believe me, its a bacon sarney every time.

  10. Rasp says:

    OK title changed, I wonder how many will wiki Baconario Sarnielli? :oops:

  11. dandan says:

    Magic read jamie, we have all been there.

    But believe me, the boot can be on the other foot. You really can have too much sun sea and whatever :-0 , The longing to be wrapped up against the cold and feeling the rain on your face on route to a game can physically hurt, when you are away from it for to long. Beaches and sunshine pale into insignificance when you are sat in a bar in foreign parts watching the arse in a different language.

    i was on a ship just about as far from land as you can get anywhere on this planet, no TV or Internet, during the last Liverpool Cup final and had to wait 24 hours to find out the result.

    Now that was agony, and then we had bloody lost when the result came through.

  12. MickyDidIt89 says:

    I know of two Veggies who caved in under the intense pressure created by the whiff of sizzling rashers.

  13. Rasp says:

    Hi Micky,

    I’ve got to go for a while, will you moderate all the irate vegetarians we are about to be deluged by? :P

  14. dandan says:

    The bacon sarnies were free and as often as you liked though. :-)

  15. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Rasp,
    In the only way I know!

  16. dandan says:

    My own particular weakness is BLTs done properly they truly are the nectar of the gods.

  17. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Actually, one long time veggie mate of mine was forced, against his will (complicated) to emmigrate to Australia, and as he sat there on the plane thinking life could not get much worse, there came the aroma of hot bacon. He cracked, and life was once again a place of great beauty.

  18. Rasp says:

    I’ve just read on Wikipedia that Sarnielli is a 6ft 13in 30 goals a season centre back with pace to burn but we’ve been outbid by totdumb…. right I’m really off now

  19. MickyDidIt89 says:

    dandan
    Can’t help but notice how guarded you are with the identity of the sacred vessle on which you sailed that supplies free bacon sarnies!

  20. MickyDidIt89 says:

    How do feel about the inclusion of an egg?

  21. MickyDidIt89 says:

    and yes, I could keep this discussion up all day

  22. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Kinda puts into perspective the importance of trophies and all that crap :-)

  23. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Way too many pink panthers. I’ll shut down for a while.

  24. TotalArsenal says:

    Piggy-Karma is going to get you, Micky! :P

  25. dandan says:

    P and Os finest all do it Mickey

  26. London says:

    What a great read, a real pleasure.

  27. Carlito11 says:

    Jamie- great post! Really enjoyable read and an exact reflection of my summer- I never have summer holidays and July and August are the busiest time of year for me. The compensation is that I’m too busy to dwell on football related matters for too long. I absolutely loved this amongst other quality phrases “It makes it sound like we rang up and got shy, giggled, said “Gervinho” and hung up.” Made me laugh out loud!
    On the bacon sandwich debate- this is a bit quirky but I like it- just a sprinkling of ground cinnamon on the bacon as it starts to crisp up. What do you mean “weirdo!”? ;-)

  28. evonne says:

    Jamie,
    …’you might be able to convince yourself that you are not addicted’, is this an addiction then?? Checking NewsNow every half hour, turning off good music to listen to those muppets on TalkSport Radio in case something happened, counting days till 13th August and planning weekend around pre-season? No, I am not addicted, just take interest in Arsenal :)

    Poor Chary and 26may are vegeterians :)

  29. evonne says:

    I actually think that THIS season could be ours for taking. Lets think about it – ManCity still gelling; ManU were the worst for yonks and are getting worse; Chavs with the new manager under humongous pressure to win CL instantly, in February if he can; scum and pool nowhere near us good as us….well, well, I think we are in for a good ride!

  30. dandan says:

    Evonne I thought listening to talk sport was a punishment, visited upon those who believed the moon was made of blue cheese.
    There is more chance of Arry giving up dealing than relevant information being first heard on that advertising magazine they laughingly brand a sports station.

  31. WiganGooner says:

    Nice post Jamie, a good way to summarise how we’re all feeling.

    We’re all grasping for good news. The media is delivering us bad news, mostly fake every single day and we need some concrete good news to brighten the Arsenal fan mood.

    We had a naff end of the season, everyone doubts us and I want us to go out, sign a couple and then annihilate everyone in pre-season and throughout the season.

    The media is loving our general fan malaise at the moment and I am sick of reading how unhappy we all are…lets have some good news!

    WG

  32. evonne says:

    Dandan :) you make me laugh :) Arry the dealer

    I know, I know, TalkSport radio are mostly anti-Arsenal, but they usually hear about transfers before we do. Different story when Wrighty comes on though or Perry Groves lately

  33. TotalArsenal says:

    ‘We might as well face it, we are d*ckheads to gossip’ (on the tune of Robert Palmer’s ‘Addicted to Love’) :lol: :lol: :P :P

  34. kelsey says:

    Jamie is it Jamie Oliver.

    It is absolutely awful living by the sun drenched mediterranean with occasional sun 330 days a year,and all those middle aged tourists wearing their far too small football replica shirts,which they bought 20 years ago, shorts, socks and sandals, never ever trying to speak a word of Spanish and then crowding into the various bars,linekers being the most notorious, and then swaying out of there at full time with a majority of them not even knowing the full time score.
    moral of the story is don’t come here in August.

  35. WiganGooner says:

    @ Kelsey

    Yeah living in Margate is a bitch…I used to live nearby :P

    I think its the English Channel though, not the med :P

    heheheh

    WG

  36. kelsey says:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/jun/29/barcelona-bid-arsenal-cesc-fabregas

    Iknow, i know wait until it is on the official website.

    WG, life’s a bitch

  37. WiganGooner says:

    Just as a quick poll…

    Who would be happy with less than £50million for Cesc?

    WG

  38. kelsey says:

    I gave up a long time ago trying to evaluate players,but 35 million plus add ons might be OK especially with three seperate hamstring problems in the last two years.But the money has to be spent on quality.

  39. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Me.

  40. Rasp says:

    Hi WG,

    Barca aren’t going to pay £50m for Cesc, I doubt we’ll get over £40m, but at least we can move on once the deal’s done rather than hang on for a higher offer and then try to do everything in a rush at the end of August.

    The writing’s been on the wall for months, even down to Cesc distributing presents at the end of the season.

  41. WiganGooner says:

    @ Rasp

    Did you read what the presents actually were though? Headphones. Trinkets like that are hardly leaving presents are they?

    I’d rather we got a decent chunk of money for a player with 4 years left on his contract. What’s wrong with playing a little hardball? Barca need to be taught a lesson that they can’t nick him on the cheap.

    I’d rather keep him and let him rot in the reserves than have us seen as an easy club to bully.

    WG

  42. Rasp says:

    I understand where you’re coming from WG, but we need to build the team for next season and ideally get in new replacements as soon as possible.

    What would you prefer – take £40m for Cesc now and secure the services of say Cahill and Baines, or hold out for an extra £10m and find that those players are no longer available?

  43. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Hi Wigan,
    I think there is a misconception about Barca. On the whole, we have done very nicely out of them. Overmars, Hleb, Petit all very good money for what they went on to do. Henry was our fault.
    More seriously, as to his value. Yeah he is very good, but certainly no Messi. So even if you value him at 50m, how does that equate to a bloke who starts 22 odd PL games. I would definately factor-in injury proneness when evaluating a player to buy.
    I am with Rasp, flog him and move on quickly.

  44. WiganGooner says:

    @ Rasp,

    But surely we have the cash in the transfer kitty to get those players regardless of player sales?

    WG

  45. kelsey says:

    yes they were trinkets, again just sensationalised by the press as leaving presents, but to rot in the reserves will never happen.

    I have my doubts that he would be committed next season,regardless of the games barca have been playing, so in conclusion it is better he goes now.

  46. Rasp says:

    WG, well this was what I was referring to in yesterday’s post – I don’t believe the club will commit to expenditure until they are sure that funds will be raised from sales.

    Has Arsenal actually come out and said we have X amount of money to spend? (and are prepared to spend it)

    If Ivan knew in advance that the strong likelihood was that Cesc was going he could confidently announce that we were going to be busy in the transfer market.

    Kelsey’s maths in past seasons has shown that we can only buy if we sell – I wonder if that has changed?

  47. MickyDidIt89 says:

    London,
    How was the cycling Alpine style?

  48. WiganGooner says:

    @Rasp, Kelsey

    Personally I don’t want us to just roll over and let Barca tickle our bellies and accept £35 million for Cesc. His value is more than that and so is our pride.

    I know we have a ready made replacement in Ramsey, but I just think £35 million is too cheap for someone with Cesc’s record, experience and ability.

    WG

  49. kelsey says:

    Most importantly our PR department needs to be refreshed, and show some clout.The days of Hill Wood and co are numbered.

    I understand your point WG, but Ramsey is not ready to take on such a role for the moment.

  50. Rasp says:

    WG, I’m not sure we’d come out of that deal looking like the losers. We nicked him off Barca originally, we’ve had 8 years service out of him and we’re still going to make a fine profit.

    I don’t think his heart was in it last season. He spent a lot of time looking at the ground when not in active play. It would be very poor to force him to stay another season against his will in human terms, and in business terms, in terms of his contribution on the pitch and the effect on his team mates.

  51. WiganGooner says:

    @ Kelsey,

    Rambo pre-injury was stepping in for Cesc when Cesc was injured and was performing very well indeed. I certainly think he has the ability to do it. I guess it remains to be seen whether that will be the eventual selection by Arsene but I’d back Rambo to do the job.

    WG

  52. London says:

    Micky

    It was the hardest thing I have ever done. One buttock cheek is as raw as uncooked steak. That’s the down side, the upside, unsurprisingly, is that it was a great experience.

    I see nothing has changed transfer wise but then again the only player I anticipate coming in is a replacement for Bendtner.

  53. TotalArsenal says:

    So London, your behind looks a bit like Jamie’s post-photo? :lol:

  54. TotalArsenal says:

    WG, why do you think it would be Rambo rather than Jack or Nasri, or even Arshavin to replace Fabregas, if he were to leave? I think the Welshman is fourth in row at the moment.

  55. MickyDidIt89 says:

    London,
    That’s what happens when you ride side saddle you old girls blouse :-)
    Seriously, I have done hill/mountain walking in both Alps and Pyrenees and occasionally saw lunatics reaching the top of some of the passes. I could never do it myself, so respect.

  56. WiganGooner says:

    @TA

    Because in the past it has been Rambo (pre-injury) who stepped into the middle leaving Arshavin and Nasri out wide.

    I’m looking at the past behaviour, however, Nasri might be able to force himself into the picture. As for Jack, I think he is a great foil for Ramsey, but he is better used slightly deeper in the midfield to release the likes of Rambo, Arshavin and Nasri into space.

    WG

  57. TotalArsenal says:

    Hi WG, that is Jack’s current position, next to Song in the 4-2-3-1, but I don’t think it’s the best position for him. If we keep playing 4231, you might well be right that Nasri might force himself in the middle of the ‘3’ position. If we would change to 4-4-2, I would be interesting to see who would play in midfield and upfront.

  58. Rasp says:

    Any way …. back to the ‘T’ word, it wouldn’t surprise me if Oxlade-Chamberlain (OxCham henceforth?)was our first official signing once the transfer window is open properly.

  59. Jamie says:

    Bacon Sandwich – White Bread, crispy bacon and lots of but and ketchup. Dont mind an egg but it’s egg or sauce not both.

    Transfers – I agree that Chamberlain may be first. I think we will sign Cahill.

  60. Rasp says:

    Hi Jamie thanks for an innovative take on bacon transfers.

    We started with your original title but it was excluded from NN (probably because NN was in the title) so I changed it and it still didn’t get on?

    It’s had 900 hits so far and produced some mouthwatering responses – well done :)

  61. WiganGooner says:

    Bit of news…

    I work on Chorley New Road that runs right up to Middlebrook where the Reebok Stadium is. With my own eyes I have seen Gary Cahill leave the stadium, get into his car with an overnight bag.

    Is it happening?

    Unfortunately not…the incident above happened about 6 weeks ago.

    WG
    ..Sorry…just thought we all needed a bit of humour :D

  62. Rasp says:

    Hi WG,

    On a serious note :? if we are really trying/intending to buy Cahill (or Samba), I can only assume that one (or more) of our existing CBs are going to be tried as DM or LB

  63. Jamie says:

    Rasp, I’m rubbish with titles, the new one is much better. Any idea on a title for the book?

    Vermarlen is moving to left back if we buy two.

  64. Rasp says:

    If you email me some more details about the thrust of your book Jamie I’ll be happy to suggest some titles.

    If TV becomes LB, does that mean that Kozzer will remain a first choice CB or just be back-up I wonder?

  65. Jamie says:

    It’s all rumour isn’t it.

    I think we are getting Cahill and whether we get another Centre back depends on whether Clichy leaves. If he does Vermarlen moves to left back and we buy Samba or somebody. Kosser is class but we would need three top line centre backs to win a league. I would make it Koscielny, Samba and Cahill, you can’t draft Vermarlen in from left back everytime you get an injury. Flog Clichy because let’s face it he isn’t as good as we need, nowhere near as good as our right back for instance. Move Vermarlen to left back and Sagna will be right back. With TV5 at left back we would basically always have 3 centre backs at every set peice.

    That’s what I would do. But I would have some fish and chips first.

  66. johnQ says:

    superb post jamie. Here’s an article worth a read if some of you folks got tired hanging around newsnoww.

    http://www.sabotagetimes.com/football-sport/arsenals-arsene-wenger-on-idolising-pele-playing-like-roy-keane-and-being-fond-of-pies/?

  67. Gooner in Exile says:

    Great post Jamie, read it earlier and didn’t have time to comment.

    Fantastic read and sums up how we are all feeling. I am lashing out in footy threads (on unfooty related forums) at Liverpool and City fans right now…..i am bored of the “media tells the gospel” attitude.

    Anyway on the Cesc transfer or otherwise, £35million would do as 4 years at £90-100k per week equals a further £18m into the kitty that we are currently committed to with him staying. Thats a healthy chunk of wages, Liverpool got rid of Torres and brought in Suarez and Carroll on a similar nil increased spend. Clever business, and we all know Arsene can do it, will the board let him or will debt clearance be too tempting?

  68. chas says:

    Brilliant read, Jamie. :)

    I like mine with crispy bacon, thinly sliced mushrooms sauteed in butter with a little chopped garlic. Some might say heresy.

  69. goonermichael says:

    White blooomer, thick sliced
    Unsmoked bacon not crispy with rind
    Brown sauce
    Benecol spread (for the cholesterol)

    You must never cut it in half.

  70. London says:

    Why is Hill-Wood still at the club?

    He doesn’t need the money, he doesn’t need the kudos, he doesn’t do it for egotistical reasons and I am sure he could do without the grief, so if that is the case, why is Hill-Wood still at the club and what is stopping him walking away?

    My guess is that he will as soon as he can, the only thing keeping him there is a deep loyalty to Arsenal and a sense of duty to try and ensure that the club is handed over to someone who cares or at least someone he hopes cares about the club.

    The fact that Kroenke is thought of as a genuine sports loving man first and a billionaire second obviously did not happen by accident this perception has been a carefully stage managed PR exercise spun out of Arsenal and if you believe, as I do, that Hill-Wood and the late Fizman acted in the best interest of the club then it surely is also reasonable to assume that they genuinely believe that kroenke is the right man to be the future custodian of all things Arsenal.

    There are still many hurdles to jump but it seems most likely that Kroenke will take complete control and shortly after he does I suspect that Hill-Wood will feel his mission at Arsenal is complete and will ride off into the sunset.

    As to whether Kroenke turns out to be the right man only time will tell but all things still point to Hill-Wood trying to do what he feels is the best for the club he loves as much as we do.

  71. dandan says:

    London, I agree with that 100%, Hill Wood is of the old school establishment, mocked by many these days but that wont bother him. He will do what he thinks is right for the club his family have nurtured for three generations, His grandfather was chairman before he was born and the responsibility was handed down to him through his father. Why would he damage what is basically a memorial to the family.

  72. Gooner in Exile says:

    Welcome back to the UK London, glad your trip was good.

    Tend to agree on Hill-Wood okay he may make the odd gaffe but he has the club at his heart, and as DanDan says a family history that is the club.

  73. Gooner in Exile says:

    Anyone else finding it hilarious that Spuds are wasting money with High Court appeals for Olympic Stadium Award review?

    Must really be struggling to negotiate any other kind of funding for a new build or agree terms with their local council…..poor old Spuds :D

  74. MickyDidIt89 says:

    GiE,
    On subject of the Olympic Stadium. Wham have it, but do they have to hand over proceeds of sale of ground at Upton Park as a contribution?

  75. Gooner in Exile says:

    Not sure Micky, I think its almost been gifted does it cost them £40m or something which Newham Council have lent them?

    I don’t care as long as Spuds are crying :)

  76. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Fair point GiE :-)

  77. evonne says:

    GiE – you are evil :)

    During the bidding for the Olympic stadium I seem to remember Spuds saying that they don’t really want it, they are just acting as a staging horse and there is no way Tottenham should move away from N15. So clearly it was just bullshit, as usual.

    I would actually like them to get it and get the feck out of North London

  78. Geoff Strong says:

    If they do move to the Olympic stadium they will have to drop Tottenham from their name, thus becoming The Hotspur, which for those of you not old enough to remember was a kids comic, quite popular in the early sixties :-)

  79. evonne says:

    Geoff – how very appropriate then :)

  80. Morning all

    There’s a New Post

  81. Hello there just wondering. How do I get hot sauce out of carpet??

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