Here’s something to smile about ………

Can you remember the 1966 World Cup Final …….. you know, the one which ended with Bobby Moore (sadly deceased) lifting the Jules Rimet Trophy? It was on television and it was in black and white.  I guess few of our readers were born back in those far off days..

5 years earlier Tottenham last won the League.

4 surgeons are taking a tea break:
1st surgeon says “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
2nd surgeon says “Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
3rd surgeon says “Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them is colour coded.”
4th surgeon says “I prefer Tottenham fans. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and a**eholes are interchangeable.”

The 7 dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the dark distance a voice screams out “Spurs are good enough to win the Premiership.”
Snow White says “Thank God – at least Dopey’s still alive!”

A man is sitting in the pub with his Jack Russell dog on Saturday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner, “Arsenal 4 Tottenham 1”, reads the announcer.
Suddenly the Jack Russell dog jumps up and shouts “Oh no, not again!”
The shocked landlord says “That’s amazing. Why did he say that when the result was announced?”
“Because he is a Spurs supporter” the dog owner replies.
The landlord then asks what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man relied “I don’t  know I have only had him 3 years.”

Harry Redknapp, shortly after another training session, comments to the head groundsman at White Hart Lane how impressive the pitch is looking. “It ought to,” replies the groundsman. “We put 70 million quid’s worth of manure on it every week!”

On days when life is treating you harshly and you think to yourself “could it get any worse than this?”, just remember …. you could have been a Spurs supporter.

Come On You Rip Roaring Gunners

Written by Big Raddy

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60 Responses to Here’s something to smile about ………

  1. arsenal fan says:

    great post,
    loved it loved it loved it,no words
    and to be true needed some of that,
    thank you just made my day….

  2. Gooner in Exile says:

    :D there’s a spring in the step for the rest of the day.

  3. tom says:

    Harry Redknapp, shortly after another training session, comments to the head groundsman at White Hart Lane how impressive the pitch is looking. “It ought to,” replies the groundsman. “We put 70 million quid’s worth of manure on it every week!”

    that is pretty awesome

  4. Rob says:

    What do you call a spurs fan driving a car?

    A twat.

  5. allezkev says:

    What do you call a Spurs fan who remembers the Double of 1960-61?

    A pensioner

  6. kelsey says:

    that is absolutely disgusting evonne.How could you sink to such a level ;)

    Is it raining in outer London ?

    I remember Johnny and Fanny Craddock.

  7. dandan says:

    Don and his wife Sarah went to the state fair every year, and every year Don would say, “Sarah, I’d like to ride in that helicopter. It’s been a lot of years since I flew one and it’s on my bucket list.”

    Sarah always replied, “I know, Don, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

    One year Don and Sarah went to the fair, and Don said, “Sarah, I’m 70 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance to cross it off of my list.”

    To this, Sarah replied, “Don that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”

    The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word, I won’t charge you a penny! But if you say one word, it’s fifty dollars. ”

    Don and Sarah agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks, but still not a word…

    When they landed, the pilot turned to Don and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed!”

    Don replied, “Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Sarah fell out, but you know, fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

  8. chas says:

    Haha, is it let’s all laugh at Tottingham day? Cheers, BR.

    What’s Harry thinking?

    http://twitpic.com/4hcimu

    Thanks for compliments the other day, Sharkey, but all I do is see something I like or amuses me and feel a need to share it with my fellow gooners. :)

  9. mad_gooner says:

    super like….

  10. redarse says:

    Excuse me Dandan,

    Just got back and find you are recycling my helicopter joke ……. from a few days ago! I’m flattered. :-)

    I’ll tell the bloke I pinched it from!! :-)

  11. redarse says:

    Hi Chas, :-)

    Sharkey’s right tho’, your links are great and they reflect your humour. Ace! :-)

  12. Big Raddy says:

    Knowing my dislike of all things Tottenham related, you will not be surprised that Peaches changed my original headline! I think it would have attracted some healthy abuse form the cave-dwellers down in N17 but without adequate moderation the site would have become host to a litany of misspelt swear words

  13. WiganGooner says:

    Put a smile on my face guys well done :)

    Am down south this weekend so internet access is only via Blackberry, I.e. Poor!!

    Lots of man-love, have a great weekend guys n gals

    WG

  14. dandan says:

    LOL I got that joke from America last night,obviously a very fast long range chopper, RA :-)

  15. dandan says:

    Here is an old one for you old uns. I wonder who will have the answer.

    At what premier league ground and why, do all the clocks say, Dick Doc, Dick Doc.???

  16. Jamie says:

    Nice one Big Raddy. Everyone loves a Spurs joke!

    Your mates that aren’t Arsenal fans love them too. Gets me invited to dinner parties this kind of thing.

    Couple of years ago I was in the away in at Loftus Road with my mate a Sheffield Wednesday fan. He is from the north and a few of us joined him for the day on his birthday.

    All supporting different teams, West Ham, Wednesday, Liverpool and of course Arsenal we were unable to join in with the singing. Then the Wednesday fans started singing “we all hate leeds scum” my mate turned to me and said, now that’s one all the family can enjoy. We all duly obliged.

    Some teams were made to laugh at.

  17. evonne says:

    Bad, bad, bad news guys – after years and years on the waiting list I was finally offered a season ticket; the letter has arrived today. That means that many fans have not renewed and there is going to be more empty seats this season.

  18. evonne says:

    Sharkey – i thought it might be racist, it wasn’t meant to be. It was told by spurs fans at work. It is difficult for a white person to really ‘feel’ it and tell if it is meant to be racist or anti-arsenal

  19. evonne says:

    I am texting Peaches now asking to remove it

  20. dandan says:

    No problem evonne, have done it for you.

  21. evonne says:

    Thanks Dandan

    I love Sharkey and would rather die than upset him.
    Sharkey … if you only knew the truth…perhaps one day :)

  22. chas says:

    Evonne, what number were you on the waiting list last season and what type of season ticket have you been offered?

  23. chas says:

    Hello RA,
    thanks to you, too……s’nice to be appreciated. :)

  24. SharkeySure says:

    Love you too ETL !!!

  25. chas says:

    From another site, it looked as though those on the waiting list jump approximately 4,000 each year.

    If you are joining the back of the queue, your number is 40,500 or thereabouts.

    Evonne, I doubt there will be many empty seats except, perhaps, at club level where it seems quite a few have not renewed.

  26. gunnerN5 says:

    Some (clean) laughs for Sharkey.

    Last year I was asked to be a poster boy.
    For birth control.

    A girl phone me and said come on over – theres nobody at home.
    I went over and sure enough – there was nobody at home.

    My wife met me at the door in a silk negligee
    Trouble was – she was coming home.

    I`m not a good lover
    I get booed by peeping Tom`s

    My wife only has sex with me for a purpose.
    Last night she used me as an egg timer.

    My wife and I were happy for 30 years.
    Then we met.

    When I played in the sandbox our cat kept trying to cover me up.

    I asked my dad if I could go ice skating
    He said lets wait for some warmer weather.

    A hooker told me she had a headache.

    If it wasn’t for pickpockets I`d have no sex life at all.

    I told my dentist that my teeth were going yellow.
    He told me to wear a brown tie.

    My marriage is on the rocks again.
    My wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

    I solicited a hooker and dropped my pants.
    She dropped the price.

    When I was born the Doctor turned me over
    and said look twins.

    When I was a kid I suffered from rejection.
    Even my yo-yo never came back.

    God sneezed.
    I was confused and didn’t know what to say.

  27. evonne says:

    Sharkey – do you still love me? I am such an idiot, no common sense whatsoever:(

  28. evonne says:

    I was 80k+ on the list about 5 years ago, so it was a surprise to get this letter today. They have even offered me a choice of seats.

    I won’t be buying the season ticket, because of my health I doubt I would make it to games. It is such a shame, because I would have given my left hand to have a season ticket at Highbury.

    Hopefully, ‘my’ seat won’t be empty, hopefully all the seats at the Emirates will be taken.

  29. chas says:

    Evonne
    So what was your number last year?

  30. evonne says:

    Chas, very good question! I was trying to find correspondence from last year, but it is gone. I am not sure if they told me the number last year. One way or another I thought it was going to be at least 3- years.

    I am still toying with an idea of ‘sharing’ the ticket, we’ll see

  31. evonne says:

    Barca refuse to pay more for Cesc
    Cesc wants to go to Barca
    Arsenal refuse to take less for Cesc

    Can Arsenal really afford to keep a player and pay his wages if he doesn’t want to be here?

  32. dandan says:

    A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage.
    Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
    The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
    Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
    A reporter has watched the whole event.
    The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.’
    The Harley rider replies, ‘Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars.
    I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.’
    The reporter says, ‘Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed.
    I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page…
    So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?’
    .
    The biker replies, ‘I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.’
    .
    The journalist leaves. The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
    .
    .
    U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

  33. SharkeySure says:

    Always ETL

  34. goonermichael says:

    A woman went to the doctor looking really worried

    “docor doctor, Can you get pregnant from anal sex?”

    “of course you can, where do you think totenham fans come from?”

    Replied the doctor

  35. Big Raddy says:

    That’s more like it GM !

  36. evonne says:

    What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win?

    A: Turns off the Xbox!

  37. evonne says:

    What’s the difference between a Hedgehog and the Spurs bus?

    The Spurs bus has more pricks!

  38. evonne says:

    How do you make an Spurs fan’s eyes light up ?

    A: Shine a torch in his ears!

  39. evonne says:

    Last one:

    Haringey Council have refused Tottenham Hotspur a new stadium on Northumberland Park, they said, ” Its ok to have a funfair once a year, but a circus every 2 weeks was taking the piss!”

  40. goonermichael says:

    I’m off home see you all later

  41. Big Raddy says:

    Evonne.6.05. I thought the punchline was that the Spurs bus has it’s pricks on the inside !

  42. SharkeySure says:

    Fortnightly circus !!!

    GM 5.40. Oh dear. :-)

  43. evonne says:

    Raddy :)

    The funniest thing is that many Spuds don’t know the origins of our mutual hatred. They think it is because we took their The North London Club away from them. Not many know the Henry Norris story. 26may recons that DD is an angel compared to Norris, but I say little prayer for him when I remember

  44. Hi all

    I had lunch with my spud supporting uncle today :( :( :( who couldn’t help telling me all manner of jokes about us. I was getting really fed up with him and asked him how he felt he was going to cope without Champions League football to which he replied he’d watch the DVD – stereotype or what!!!!!!

  45. Where are you kelsey ………… which Monday?

  46. evonne says:

    Is everybody at Glastonbury?

    From FootyLatest:

    ‘It seems that Fabregas has a clause in his contract which entitles him to 15% of any transfer fee when he moves and he is willing to sign that sum over to Arsenal if they allow the deal to go through.

    The People projects that Barcelona will return to the Gunners with a £33m bid this Wednesday which means that Fabregas will be giving up a cool £5m. This will also effectively increase Arsenal’s profit from the sale by the same amount and will make the offer more attractive to Wenger.

    If this is true then I can’t see Wenger turning Barca down, when it is so obvious that Fabregas will do anything to move back to his old club……’

  47. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Peaches/Evonne,
    Ver good and sunny morning.
    Remember last years’ sources? Joe Cole a done deal. Signing to be announced monday! It is a patient game we have to play.

  48. goonerwife says:

    actually Fabregas has said he wouldnt do anything to move back to Barca. Thats a fact. Everything else is speculation.

  49. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Ooo, I do sound a bit high-horsey, whereas I do like a rumour. Must say, while either Samba or Cahill would undoubtedly strengthen us, neither excite me at all. I would be much happier with a 6’4″ Serb with anger management issues and a history of gun running in Kabul.

  50. evonne says:

    Goonerwife – I soooooo hope you are right :)

    Micky – wasn’t Djokovic splendid in his fury?

  51. MickyDidIt89 says:

    Evonne,
    Did not see what you are referring to, but an angry Serb is a scary creature.

  52. evonne says:

    Micky – yep, I saw the poor racket or rather what was left of it.

  53. evonne says:

    Peaches – are you feeling better?

  54. Big Raddy says:

    I would love to have been in Glastonbury.

    Still nothing on the transfer front. Perhaps I should write a nostalgia post – any ideas?

  55. evonne says:

    Raddy – how about Rocky Rocky Rocastle? Have there been posts about him lately?

  56. Hi all

    Sorry I went out really early and expected to be back hours ago to sort a new post – Rasp is laying on a beach in Norfolk so I’m gonna be in big trouble from him. Do we need a new post today? I was going to use one of the ‘last season’s headlines’ ones again.

  57. Gooner in Exile says:

    Sounds fair enough Peaches.

    I have just been on a beach in Norfolk walking the dog there was some running and screaming adults and children I couldn’t work out what was upsetting them.

    I do hope he hadn’t missed his beach of choice http://bit.ly/jVYU0O

  58. Durrrrrr Raddy has put up a New Post which was wonderful of him but I didn’t realise :(

    There is a New Post if you’re stuck on here …….

  59. Chicago…

    [...]Here’s something to smile about ……… « Arsenal Arsenal[...]…

  60. older dog training…

    [...]Here’s something to smile about ……… « Arsenal Arsenal[...]…

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