White Scarf Protest – Sign Up Now

It’s time for all true Arsenal supporters to stand up and be counted.

We need to take back our club and its traditions from the corrupt mind-control conspiracy that has taken it from us.

To that end we are inviting every Gooner to put on a white scarf and join us in a protest march before the home game against Aston Villa (route details below).

On arrival at The (Evil Corporate Brand Name) Stadium, we will nail our list of demands to the big black cannon by the front steps. Our demands are these:

  • A club of Arsenal’s stature should have a wider range of pizza flavours available on match days. Where is our Hawaiian? Our Napoletano? Our Sloppy Giuseppe? With a bit more ambition we could have some world class pizza toppings at the ground.
  • Our kit: much has been said and written about our shirt. But what about the shorts? Why oh why have we abandoned the classic, billowing, knee-length shorts once worn by legends like Cliff Bastin and Ted Drake? “Drake’s Drapes”, as they were known, offered protection all the way down to below the knee, reducing the risk of strains and muscle pulls. And their bagginess allowed players to keep cigarettes and matches (or an apple, depending on inclination) safely tucked away for use during quiet moments in the game. As part of the Arsenalisation of The *@:%!£*& Stadium – let’s bring back the big shorts.
  • The Board of Directors of Arsenal FC needs to be more in touch with us, the ordinary fans. We need a representative at Board meetings, someone who is close to us, who shares our animal passion for Arsenal and who has followed the club for a long, long time. We refer, of course, to Gunnersaurus. He’s been supporting Arsenal for 65 million years so there’s nothing you can tell him about tradition. And if that new American owner cuts up rough at the meetings Gunnersaurus can always fire a T-shirt-in-a-plastic-tube at him from point blank range.
  • Bring back the Highbury Atmosphere: it’s always difficult to recreate an atmosphere when moving to a new stadium, but we feel the club has been negligent in not helping to safeguard some of the treasured traditions of Highbury, not least the famous “Highbury Library Effect.” Although many like-minded supporters have done their best to maintain our strong tradition of strategic silences during games, it has come to our notice that some “Johnny-come-lately” fans have taken to singing and chanting during these precious moments. We would like to see more “Quiet Please” signs posted around the stadium, and for the stewards to use their powers to “shush” the noisemongers.
  • The Manager: while we appreciate the great service our manager has put into the club blah blah blah, it has come to our notice that he is very tall and it is well known that tall managers do not win things. It is time for him to step aside and make way for a short arse, like Mr Phillip Brown or Mr Anthony Pulis. Even better, Gordon Strachan.

So come on Brothers and Sisters in Arsenal. Join us on this march and, together, let’s help bring back the Arsenal we love.

Yours in Arsenalhood, from the secret group of campaigners who call ourselves:

WHLOAMIFDTBOTS

(We Have Lost Our Arsenal Maybe It Fell Down The Back Of The Sofa)

Demonstration Route (Starts 12.45pm)

Assemble at the Chinese chippy in Avenell Road.

Process to that barber’s in Blackstock Road with all the old Arsenal pictures on the wall.

Round the back of the Gunners for a quick pee.

On to Higbury Fields to look at Clive Anderson’s house.

Up Holloway Road to the second-hand sci-fi bookshop to beat up some beardy nerds.

Cheeseburger from the third stall in Benwell Road.

Vomit it back up under the railway bridge.

Into the Armoury to buy a pair of Arsenal furry dice for the motor.

Re-assemble outside the stadium at the big cannon for nailing of demands, free ginger beer and a rousing round of negro spirituals.

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90 Responses to White Scarf Protest – Sign Up Now

  1. Carlito11 says:

    A subtle and hilarious post Rocky! The problem with nostalgia is it ain’t what it used to be :-D

  2. Morning all

    Wonderful Rocky

    ‘Quiet please’ signs and the stewards having the power to ‘shush’ :D :P :lol:

  3. With reference to a request for an extended motto

    Abi in malam rem – it’s a bit polite but sends the same message :)

  4. mickydidit89 says:

    Rocky,
    You are so, so right, and for me the Pizza Toppings were the absolute last straw, and I for one, am not renewing my season ticket that I don’t have. Sod Arsenal, their pathetic traditions and their stupid stylish football.

  5. Ray Middleton (no relation) says:

    I thought when I read the title, another stab in the back for Mr Wenger but looking at your demands, they are quite reasonable. Diappointed that you didn’t mention the Metropolitan Police band at Half time. We were the best!

  6. dkgooner says:

    Thanks Rocky. Great to read someone who has retained their sense of humour in these spleen-venting times.
    dkg

  7. mickydidit89 says:

    Good God Ray,
    Were you the bloke at the front who used to chuck the stick in the air, and we all went “woooowahhhh”?

  8. mickydidit89 says:

    How many goals do we want The Cretins from down the road to lose by today, or are we after a sneaky draw?

  9. mickydidit89 says:

    As I see it, the real problem with the Black version of the Demo is that the people to whom it most appeals either live abroad or do not know the way to the stadium.

  10. Evonne says:

    Rocky – you are hillarious!! I love the plan, but I, Peaches and Irish would have to be excused from the pee and vomit stages :) We could chant some Spurs abuse instead ?

  11. Hey Evonne – welcome back to you too :) Definitely I’m up for chanting Spud abuse :lol:

  12. Did you choose yourself an avatar while you were away?

  13. mickydidit89 says:

    Okedoke,
    That’s it from me now, as I’m sick of being associated with a bunch of losers. The New Micky is a Winner. From now on I am a supporter of Australian Cricket. Watch me bloody Wallaby speed mate!

  14. Evonne says:

    Morning Peaches, no I didn’t chose the avatar, I was busy sulking after the last game, thank you for texting me the ‘match report’
    I’d like something Bergkamp’y….any suggestions?

  15. ClockEndRider says:

    Ray Middleton,
    I wholeheartedly concur. We demand the return of Sergeant Alex Morgan. The fact that he hasn’t been on the pitch at half time just goes to show the gross dereliction of duty this complacent board and manager have committed. And another thing, we demand the return of the Percy Dalton peanut seller who used to bestride the Clock End like a colossus.

  16. aqqevalp says:

    You’re doing an amazing thing here. I salute you, Sir. I would be honoured to join your noble crusade.

  17. mickydidit89 says:

    I’m back, tail between legs. The Australian Cricket thing did not go well at all.
    .
    aqqevalp,
    The words “noble crusade” make me tingle and give me the urge to mount a steed and charge at something.

  18. chas says:

    Great post Rocky.

    I’d been thinking AA needed a protest (or even a noble crusade) of our own.

    The Villa game’ll be weird. As many red and white scarves as possible would brighten the place up. I’m a little concerned the police may have to resort to ‘kettling’ to protect the marchers.

    Did we really have a member of the Met Police band posting here? :)

    Micky, what’s wallaby speed?

  19. Red Arse says:

    Micky, have you considered Camilla of Cornwall for slaking your urges? Now there is a good steed if ever I saw one! :-)

    Excellento Post, Rocky, tho’ I am disappointed you have omitted the need for copious amounts of horse dung in the Emirates surrounds for us to trudge thru’!

    How I miss the acrid stench arising from the mountainous effluxion generated by the Mets Police’s trusty steeds (oops, forgot about Micky’s urges) which plastered my shoes on the approaches to Highbury.

    Ahh, those were the days! :-)

  20. chas says:

    Morning RA, there’s still plenty of horse poop in the environs of Ashburton Grove. Sadly, not all of it has come from the horses. :)

    Camilla slaking your urges….eeek.

    http://bit.ly/jA8QS2

  21. rtgooner says:

    Love it! :D

  22. Evonne says:

    Peaches – I know, I know re something Bergkamp’y – Dennis the Menice suits me fine

  23. [...] wrap things up, let me mention today’s tongue-in-cheek post by RockyLives you can read on the ArsenalArsenal site. The author is mocking the idea of the march due to take place before the Villa game in a few [...]

  24. Red Arse says:

    Hi Chas, :-)

    Strictly speaking I was suggesting, (in a helpful way – of course) that she might do the trick, in charging at things. Other than that —- your ‘eeeek’ fits the bill! :-)

    “-Sadly, not all of it has come from the horses-” — double ‘eeek’ !!

  25. dandan says:

    Yes,Yes, Yessssssssss at last someone with the balls to lead a protest based on fact rather than fiction, lack of knowledge and being just plain thick, anyone can see that the Rocky road we are being asked to tread is the right one.

    Alex Morgan,known by the Highbury bovver boys as the singing fuzz,The head masseuse reliably informed me that Alex used to warm up in the treatment room with the Beverley sisters, evidently Joy fitted the Bill all Wright and could raise old Alex’s range by a couple octaves. ahh memories, its all as clear as mud. I remember it so well

  26. Mickeyk says:

    Great post . On a serious note we should put the flags on top of the stadium like we used to have at highbury it adds something to the stadium

  27. Red Arse says:

    Dandan, :-)

  28. Evonne says:

    I have noticed that nobody mentioned tomorrow’s game – are we in for a serious beating?

  29. Red Arse says:

    Peaches,

    “Abi in malam rem” — is that Malay? Something about doing it in the night? Surely not? :-)

  30. goonermichael says:

    Evonne
    That could be on the cards. Hopefully our boys will want to go out in a dignified manor and spank them instead. If we cann beat the catalans we must be able to beat that shower of poo

  31. SUGA3 says:

    ‘afternoon…

    I believe the marchers should be allowed to do their thing without being bothered by anybody…

    we are better than going into the civil war mode, no?

    I just hope this humorous piece will go some lengths to cool a few heads ;)

    as for the tomorrow’s game, it is our stinking duty to win it for the following reasons:

    - I would rather have Chavs winning the thing that ManYoo
    - Chavs spared us the ultimate embarrassment that was pretty likely to be on the cards tomorrow, so we should return the favour, it’s rude otherwise
    - I want to celebrate the St Totteringham’s Day!

  32. goonermichael says:

    I agree Suga
    ABU

  33. kelsey says:

    what is the protest actually about. are we near relegation, do we have a barn yard for a stadium,are things really that bad,is our manager a bufoon or just pastionate about the club he lives and breathes 24/7.
    some of us have longer memories than others,and things tend to go in cycles, our time will come again sooner rather than later and wenger will have laid the foundations.

    the royal wedding has left me emotional and though an expat proud once again to be british. :)

  34. RockyLives says:

    Hello AA-ers all…
    Thankyou for indulging my mild satire.
    I’m not trying to make too serious a point (I don’t doubt that the black scarf campaigners are dedicated supporters) but I do think it’s a bit silly to lump a whole bunch of disparate grievances together (including some unnecessary personal attacks) just because we’ve had a disappointing end to the season.

    And that’s what I feel the black scarf march is all about. If we’d won the FA Cup or were still fighting hard for the title, this march would not be happening (at least not in the way it is currently planned).

    We are all disappointed, but I’m personally a bit sad at the idea of a demo against a board and manager who have kept us strongly competitive in all comps while moving us to a new stadium during the biggest economic crash for 80 years. Demos are for others, not for us. Which is not to say that, if you feel differently, you’re not perfectly entitled to express your views any lawful way you like.

  35. dandan says:

    Kelsey I to found the wedding very emotional, we do do pageantry so well.

    It was also strange to see all the hype on the Goring Hotel as I was a regular user of that establishment over a number of years and a very fine hotel it is.

  36. RockyLives says:

    dandan
    I used to like the Goring as well. Occasionally went there for afternoon tea – it made me feel very genteel. Wodehousian even.

  37. RockyLives says:

    Tomorrow’s game?

    I reckon we’ll spank them, just like we did the Chavs.

    The pressures off our lot now, so I expect them to turn it on.

  38. Theopants Superstar says:

    Did you choose white scarves as a symbolic gesture of sympathy towards the white flags Arsene and the players have been waving?

  39. RockyLives says:

    Theo
    It did cross my mind.

  40. dandan says:

    I had to go to meetings in Greycoat place a couple of times a month Rocky and living nr Manchester in those days would come down the night before and spend the night there. That was at the the time when the best place for a good cheap meal was among the Bunnies in Park Lane. Membership was a must. From the sublime to the ridiculous by taxi :-)

  41. RockyLives says:

    dandan
    I love your life.

  42. goonermichael says:

    I went to the bunny club a few times. Is that still legal?

  43. goonermichael says:

    Actually when I tead the headline of the post I thought the white was for surrender.

  44. goonermichael says:

    http://ladyarse.co.uk/2011/04/new-home-kit-confirmed/

    the new shirt is a bit of a minger if yoy ask me

  45. goonermichael says:

    tead = read

  46. goonermichael says:

    Actually I’m beginning to like it :)

  47. SUGA3 says:

    don’t like the away one a lot, but at least it’s not Sp*d white like it was ‘leaked’ at first…

    maybe it will be the third and it will be cursed like the last season’s one – can’t recall a single good game in white, can you?

  48. Ray Middleton (no relation) says:

    To Mickydidit89

    No it wasn’t me but I cannot remember many bands at other grounds during the same time. When I went to see Arsenal after the new stand (North stand~not North bank) I asked my brother where’s the band then? It was then that I realised that a piece of Highbury was lost forever. I do like the flags on top of the stadium idea though. Superb idea

  49. RockyLives says:

    I lag the flags idea too. Nice one MickeyK.

  50. RockyLives says:

    *like

  51. goonermichael says:

    You lagging?

  52. Big Raddy says:

    RL. Great post.

    This site is great with such a plethora of fine authors. And the Bunny club – I was a member because it was the only place to get a reasonable meal after midnight (back in the day).

  53. goonermichael says:

    Hi BR. How are you? Did you never go to Elvis’ in Soho? I nearly got stabbed outside once. Never run so fast before or since.

  54. Red Arse says:

    Hi Dandan, Rocky, and Raddy :-)

    I think I remember you three at the Bunny Club from way back.

    I was the big one with massive floppy ears, and a cute white tail hiding my red arse!! :-)

    You were very, very, naughty boys!! :-)

  55. desigunner says:

    Awesome post :D

  56. wondeye says:

    lets us together fire that mindless manager please?????

  57. Big Raddy says:

    From what I recall RA, so were you !

    GM. I used to go to the Valbonne and the Bag o’ Nails in Kingly St and Samantha’s off Regent St. (Kelsey was a regular at the Valbonne I think). Last time I was in London I checked and it is still open!

    And of course The Marquee in Soho.

  58. Big Raddy says:

    Wondeye. You won’t find much agreement on this site.

  59. THE WONDER OF YOU says:

    WTF did you lot do before F B ,Twitter,Blobs, etc
    COME OUT THAT BEDROOM ,THERE’S A WORLD OUT SIDE,

  60. wondeye says:

    i have been supporting arsenal for 15 years but know i am tired sick of that stupid manager! now i think that he may have an agremment with fergusen not to win cups!please do something help us to damp wenger???

  61. wondeye says:

    i have been supporting arsenal for 15 years but now i am tired sick of that stupid manager! now i think that he may have an agremment with fergusen not to win cups!please do something help us to damp wenger???

  62. wondeye,
    Wenger should stay as long as his contract. Just take a look at the money he’s spent on Cesc, van Persie,Nasri,walcott,wilshere,song,vermaelan,chesney,sagna,clichy and others. I’ll ask those of you want Wenger out to just simply add the current market values of the players mentioned and open their mouths in awe. Probably around 200-250 million. I’ll say no manager in the world is capable of that.Sure he needs to tweak his squad this summer but that won’t mean that the youth policy has failed.In fact its worked well enough for Arsenal to succeed at the highest level. Maybe at the moment it’s a bit too much for the players to cross the winning line but we can all hope that next season will be the season that it happens cuz this year for me has been a major improvement disregarding what you say.
    Here’s a new article for you to ponder about:
    http://delhigunner.wordpress.com/2011/04/30/stale-state-of-mind-what-should-change-at-arsenal-fc/

  63. RockyLives says:

    I agree. Let’s damp Wenger.

    Water pistols at the ready!!!

  64. Red Arse says:

    Nah, Rocky, let’s dump One Eye instead! :-)

  65. goonermichael says:

    Golden shower?

  66. goonermichael says:

    Gomes makes almunia look like lev yashin sometimes

  67. Harry says:

    Afternoon all, very entertaining Rocky…….

    Have just got home from seeing Dagenham and Redbridge beat Carlisle 3-0, not bad game, tour of the ground, met a few people..One of them been Tony Roberts, their No1 goalie, but one of our first team coaches, he was apeaking about TV5 and his game against United midweek for the reserves, according to him, TV5 is in the squad for tomorrow!!!

    Another nugget, that was rumoured very strongly was about Steve Bould, who has turned down an offer at another club as first team coach, because he has a role coming up at the Emirates…..

    Talking with Terry Harris their first team coach, he was talking about whom they were tryinmg to get on loan from us this season…..but injuries prevented it happening…..

    Great and very interesting day out……

    Looking forward to tomorrow, really think we’ll do them……Need to make sure we drop no more points just for pride……

  68. London says:

    Superb post, very funny.

    And what an interesting collection of comments from new posters, it even attracted a long term supporter of……….fifteen years………yes, fifteen whole years and he wants to see the back of Wenger, with that depth of knowledege we should listen.

    On a serious note, I don’t really see that this protest can do too much harm, there is more chance of the Bishops of Rome changing the Pope than there is of the board changing Wenger. But a little jolt might not be a bad thing.

  69. Gooner in Exile says:

    Great post Rocky. You missed out a return to one cubicle and twenty urinals per 10000 people.

    And the club suit and tie!!

    GM did you post that about Hilarious Gomez before or after the Chelski goal.

    Just switched on for the last bit and there was something familiar about the pattern of play…

  70. dandan says:

    Rocky I have loved my life too, now I have Super children and Grand children, a great wife and the Arsenal to keep me happy through the snow on the roof years, I am indeed a lucky man

  71. Gooner in Exile says:

    Until that happened!

  72. Gooner in Exile says:

    So a goal that wasn’t over the line and a suggestion of offside…..winning mentality?

  73. Red Arse says:

    Dodgy oficials more like.

    Madrid lost 2:3 to Zaragosa. I’m sooo sad! :-)

  74. SharkeySure says:

    Evening All

    Fantastic post Rocky, had me chuckling away for quite a while.

    T’is a sad day indeed with both the Spuds and Mourinho* losing.

    *It is Real Mourinho that we’re to call them these days isn’t it..??

  75. RockyLives says:

    I may be paranoid, but you just know that if we had had the two Chelsea ‘goals’ against the Spuds they would both have been disallowed.

    Decisions even themselves up over a season? My Arse! We have had the wrong rub of the green for many years now.

  76. RockyLives says:

    Where does the phrase ‘rub of the green’ come from?
    Bowls?
    Golf?
    Snooker?
    Paedo leprechauns?
    Any idea?

  77. SharkeySure says:

    Agreed Rocky.

    Its pretty ridiculous at times. Dowd at St James and Mason allowing Saha’s goal to stand. Both shocking, even for us !!

    Then throw in all the amrginals that NEVER go in our favour and we’ve a right to complain. Then someone always pipes up with…every club always thinks they’re hard done by.

    I tend to reply – next you’ll be tellng me there’s a lot of penalties awarded to away teams at OT, or that refs have been pretty harsh on Vidic this season

  78. Red Arse says:

    Rocky,

    As a pain in the red arse golf fanatic, I can tell you that in the rules of golf the phrase; “Whatever happens to a Ball by accident, must be reckoned to be a Rub of the green”.

    However, in the game of bowls, a ‘rub’ is any hindrance or impediment that diverts the bowl from its proper course.

    The term is much the same as the word ‘let’, which is used in lawn tennis, as in the expression ‘let or hindrance’.

    How’s that? — Gulp – now I have strayed into cricket! Keep your questions to yourself, O Rocky! :-)

  79. dandan says:

    Raddy how about the Gay Hussar when it was a straight restaurant.

    Harry was very generous tonight I thought, most managers would have crucified the officials. Man city will surely take the spuds place in the top four now, what price Liverpool Finnish above them as well, now that would drive the spuds fans potty. How many players would they lose if no CL next season.

  80. Red Arse says:

    Am watching Real Sociedad v Barca.

    Pretty dire game! Barca winning 1:0 at the mo’.

  81. Red Arse says:

    Oops 1:1, still crap game!

  82. Red Arse says:

    Extraordinary.

    Barca scored again but it was ruled offside by a lino in much the same position as the Chelsea guy — who allowed a goal where the ball did not cross the line. This time Milito was about 1″ offside, not that the lino could possibly have seen from 50 yards!

    Bladder and his reluctance to allow technology proves he is a total prick!

    Barca have given away a pen. Real Soc 2:1 Barca.

    I am sooooo sad, again! :-)

  83. Red Arse says:

    Oh well, boolox, I am answering questions, yet talking to myself.

    Tara!

  84. RockyLives says:

    Thanks Redders
    I wrote the phrase then realised I didn’t know where it came from.

    Some of the blatant penalties at OT that were not given have been quite shocking this season. It’s tempting to think there’s something fishy going on but I suspect it’s just officials succumbing to subconscious pressure.

  85. Gooner in Exile says:

    Rocky “I may be paranoid, but you just know that if we had had the two Chelsea ‘goals’ against the Spuds they would both have been disallowed.”

    We can’t even get them against Sunderland at home!

  86. dandan says:

    Have a good day AA’s. I shall miss the game have to watch it later. Family day today, first up a ride through the Cambridgeshire countryside on Thomas the tank Engine, followed by a long communal lunch at a local restaurant. bugger these early kick offs.
    Lets hope you guys cheer the team on to a win.

  87. chas says:

    Morning everybody.

    Unlucky Tottnumb. Harry’s latest sporting mixed metaphor…

    “The club can’t say ‘we haven’t made the Champions League’ and pull up stumps and throw the towel in.”

    My expectations for today could have been higher, but never say never. :)
    Three points are required to stave off Citeh and move within a 24 goal plus goal difference differential of St Totteringhams day. What will be delivered?

    Cmon you Gunners.

  88. Morning all

    New Post …………..

  89. oddity says:

    oddity…

    [...]White Scarf Protest – Sign Up Now « Arsenal Arsenal[...]…

  90. Gin Fizz potencianövelő kapszula…

    [...]White Scarf Protest – Sign Up Now « Arsenal Arsenal[...]…

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