Aura and Grrrr
Written by mickydidit89
I think we, The Arsenal, need a new Aura.
Now, we are not Chavs, so we will not simply pop out to Harrods and buy the most expensive one available. No, because remember we have Class, and while that is something quite tricky to define, we all know that we have the stuff in abundance. As a club it does have much to do with breeding, but also about the way in which we conduct ourselves. However, I believe during different eras of our long and proud history, we have donned more than one type of Aura. We have moved on from the greased back “we’ve got bigger shorts than you” Chapman years, through to the nine pints of Lager “what are you looking at” Graham era, and this begs the question as to what type of Aura are we sporting now. Well, I happen to believe that it has become slightly too shiny, and most definitely a little too slippers-and-cigars comfortable. I think we need a little more Grrr about the house, and a little less “no, after you sir”.
“Well Micky, all this Arsenal and class bollocks. So you really do think you are above the rest of us then?”. “ Well, errr, yes actually”, but what is this based on? Thinking about the class thing, at Highbury we had The Marble Halls for example. Is the fact that the other lot have mere concrete and lino floors good enough reason to look down on them. I happen to think it is, but then I have a thing about flooring materials. The Halls kind of dealt with the Class bit in a physical way, which enabled us to flirt with Grrr, whilst always having the Posh bit to fall back on. Now we have gone all Carpets and Diamond Clubs we need more than ever to counter balance this with some unique Arsenal style of Grrr.
It is time to roughen the edges of our Aura.
Now many here will remember the marching band before kick off at Highbury. I do understand that this idea is dated. I also remember them trying to introduce Majorettes and thinking “no, this is all wrong”. So, what’s to be done? Firstly, it has to be bye bye to that bloody Dinnasorous thing. What kind of soppy message does that send out. Hardly a call to arms is it.
So, here it is, my brilliant suggestion, and I did not need to look far to realize the answer was right before me. Cannons. We are The Gunners and proudly have the Cannon on our crest. So how about four 24-pounder Howitzer Cannons (these boys are VERY VERY loud) positioned at the four corners of the pitch. We fire them off as the teams hit the field, then every time we score. Believe me, we will get used to it, the opposition on the other hand will be needing clean shorts.
Now I realize that The Lunatic Fringe of Islington Council Health and Safety Department will be less than impressed, but you know what, sod ‘em.
What do you reckon?